Funny/Strange News Stories

[Numolos]

Better not use your waterproof phone underwater: http://www.cultofandroid.com/76101/...-take-its-waterproof-smartphones-under-water/

 

[ECGadget]

Better not use your waterproof phone underwater: http://www.cultofandroid.com/76101/...-take-its-waterproof-smartphones-under-water/

Well... I better stop giving my Xperia a bath every month...

 

[Daniel]

Last month, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver became the 'mega-reverend' of a satirical fundamentalist church in which he persuaded his 'followers' to send him seed funds much like the televangelists he criticised in his video.

People sent him their "seed" with money and actual plant seeds! The money people sent was donated to Doctors Without Borders.

And then they shut down their "church" due to people posting seed. Yes, that type of seed.

It is I, Megareverend and C.E.O. of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption Church, Pastor John Oliver.

We thank you for all your kind donations, but I’m sorry to report that we have closed down the church. And let me take a moment to explain why - it’s certainly not because we have to.

We have still, miraculously, not broken any laws by promising you untold riches in return for sending us money. We’re also not closing down because you all kept sending us actual seeds, even though we explicitly told you not to. We’re closing because multiple people sent us sperm through the mail. And when someone sends you **** through the mail, it’s time to stop whatever you’re doing.

So we are shutting this **** down. Praise be!

P.S. All previous monetary donations have been forwarded to Doctors Without Borders. We did not send the sperm.

 

[gnomefromnome]

http://www.adn.com/article/20150914...rs-bomb-scare-southeast-alaska-ferry-terminal

a broken alarm clock thrown in a garbage can was reported as a suspicious object. Air traffic was rerouted and a ferry delayed until surveillance footage found the 'suspect' 3 hours later.

 

[Daniel]

Video about the closure of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption. Some NSFW language and a large wooden penis.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

In Far Cry 4, there is a born-again Christian arms dealer who asks "what gun would Jesus use?". In Florida, a gun dealer has replied with "this one", inscribing automatic weapons with Christian iconography in the hopes that Muslims won't use them:

http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-16/gun-maker-markets-christian-assault-rifles/6779362

 

[JKgo]

In Far Cry 4, there is a born-again Christian arms dealer who asks "what gun would Jesus use?". In Florida, a gun dealer has replied with "this one", inscribing automatic weapons with Christian iconography in the hopes that Muslims won't use them:

http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-16/gun-maker-markets-christian-assault-rifles/6779362

....

Wow. Just wow. The Righteous shall prevail, NRA style?

 

[TRGTspecialist]

This year's winners of the coveted Ig Nobel Prize, the parody of its namesake, are in. BBC leads with team that used high-speed video analysis to model the fluid dynamics of p***ing, although this is my personal favourite:

"Biology - Bruno Grossi (University of Chile) and colleagues, for observing that when you attach a weighted stick to the rear end of a chicken, the chicken then walks in a manner similar to that in which dinosaurs are thought to have walked."

 

[TenEightyOne]

The roundabout at the end of my street (dubbed the Magic Roundabout, The Red Light District etc.) has 42 separate traffic lights. It's becoming so famous since it was opened a few months ago that even a German TV crew came to film it yesterday.

Americans, look away now. I know you hate these things.

 

[JKgo]

The roundabout at the end of my street (dubbed the Magic Roundabout, The Red Light District etc.) has 42 separate traffic lights. It's becoming so famous since it was opened a few months ago that even a German TV crew came to film it yesterday.

Americans, look away now. I know you hate these things.

...Hmm, I can't seem to access this site. Rather, only a sliver of the web page loads and nothing else.

 

[Blitz24]

The roundabout at the end of my street (dubbed the Magic Roundabout, The Red Light District etc.) has 42 separate traffic lights. It's becoming so famous since it was opened a few months ago that even a German TV crew came to film it yesterday.

Americans, look away now. I know you hate these things.

The website is giving me a buffering spinning circle. How apt!

 

[Touring Mars]

www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141117-why-seals-have-sex-with-penguins

The video is tagged as 'disturbing' - but it's also slightly hilarious.

 

[TenEightyOne]

www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141117-why-seals-have-sex-with-penguins

The video is tagged as 'disturbing' - but it's also slightly hilarious.

It used to be called "Going ugly early", as I recall. It also makes me wonder what the real agenda is in this photo;

 

[JKgo]

www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141117-why-seals-have-sex-with-penguins

The video is tagged as 'disturbing' - but it's also slightly hilarious.

...Oh, I remember reading about this - penguins were rather unwilling victims there. Huh, isn't this some kinda animal abuse??

 

[Liquid]

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Move over, Che Guevara, for the Ginger Revolution is coming!

http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-...guilty-of-plot-to-kill-prince-charles/6797780

 

[Northstar]

I don't see how someone plotting to kill someone else is funny in the least...

But hey, at least he didn't ask a 12 year old for directions!

 

[Lizard]

I don't see how someone plotting to kill someone else is funny in the least...

Because of the reason maybe?

He wants gingers to rule the world.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Because of the reason maybe?

He wants gingers to rule the world.

He'd have to get rid of William too, of course, otherwise Major Hewitt's son wouldn't be King..

 

[Liquid]

He'd have to get rid of William too, of course, otherwise Major Hewitt's son wouldn't be King..

William's hair was is a bit red. But if getting Hewitt on the throne is the objective, William's two kids would have to be bumped off too.

 

[Lizard]

He'd have to get rid of William too, of course, otherwise Major Hewitt's son wouldn't be King..

It mentions that in the article.

 

[TenEightyOne]

It mentions that in the article.

Yes, I said of course of course.

In other news; Scots have, perhaps unsurprisingly, 421 different words for snow. There's no mention of how many words they have for fighting, Mars Bars or sarcasm.

 

[Grayfox]

Man tries to kill spider using lighter whilst filling up car at petrol station.
http://www.news.com.au/technology/i...igarette-lighter/story-fnjwucvh-1227545760669

 

[Carbonox]

Think twice before unfriending that annoying workmate, lads.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Think twice before unfriending that annoying workmate, lads.

And being openly hostile to them and making inappropriate comments in the workplace... that was the main part of her bullying-at-work action. Unfriending on Facebook just happened to be one of the actions, not the crux

 

[Grayfox]

Do you know who I am?
I'm Ronnie Pickering!
Mwhahahahaha
There is a video of the whole lot on youtube but it is not safe for work or the forum, sadly.
http://www.9news.com.au/world/2015/...mate-motorcyclist-more-funny-than-threatening

 

[UKMikey]

Do you know who I am?
I'm Ronnie Pickering!

Who?

Ronnie is making a bid to become the new "Hitler video from Downfall movie" as these mash ups indicate:





Either that or it's a VERY slow news day.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Who?

A Hull lad, I'm ashamed of the place some days. Most days now, in fact.

 

[UKMikey]

A Hull lad, I'm ashamed of the place some days. Most days now, in fact.

I was quoting the video.
"Ronnie Pickering!!"
"Who?"
"Ronnie Pickering!!"
"Who?"
etc.

 

[TenEightyOne]

I was quoting the video.
"Ronnie Pickering!!"
"Who?"
"Ronnie Pickering!!"
"Who?"
etc.

Excellent.