Funny/Strange News Stories

[TenEightyOne]

This one's more a review of politicians caught in awkward (or just plain stupid) poses, some oldies but goodies BBC

 

[Johnnypenso]

You're heard pre-flight safety speeches before. We do it a little differently here in Canada, especially when evacuating during a wildfire.

Warning: Profanity

 

[Grayfox]

Anyone know Chinese to transcribe what was said

Cant post the news link as the site is making my browsers flash freeze.

 

[Northstar]

I'm not sure who's the stupidest, the person holding the drill or the girl not making sure the person holding the drill knows what they are doing.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Anyone know Chinese to transcribe what was said

Cant post the news link as the site is making my browsers flash freeze.

That looks very fake to me, the scalp isn't ripped up and isn't even red. Just sayin'

 

[Swagger897]

Alright, so it's not so funny the story itself, but I got a crack outta the comments on flightaware...
Story: Here

Spoiler: Comment

It's obvious this guy is a member of the terror group Al Gebra.

 

[RACECAR]

Forgot all about this thread so decided to catch up and just...

This originally came from a news story so badly written I've decided just to link to the actual source.

But don't click on this if you're particularly prone to gagging and nausea. You can't unread or unimagine this.

Vagina beer. You have been warned.

Well, if bread is possible.........

(Famine's warning very much applies to that link too)

The Australian Sex Party claims that the newly-formed Nick Xenophon Team has a name and logo that is too similar to theirs and so likely to confuse voters in this year's federal election:

http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2016-...ttle-with-nick-xenophon-over-'x'-logo/7316524

What the actual!?

Bono, please stop.

....So the Retriever retrieved? Well okay.

Oh and by the way, something else grabbed my attention from your link:

North Alabama's first amusement park opens Friday.

I mean, WUT? This is 2016, and Alabamans are only now discovering the joys of a theme park???

Man punched in the face for looking like Shia LaBeouf

...How do you decide what's provocative when eating a banana?

Ask the Chinese authorities - they are about to police it.

You guys have delivered some mind-numbing news. I can't believe any of that is actually real.

 

[Famine]

Forgot all about this thread so decided to catch up and just...

You guys have delivered some mind-numbing news. I can't believe any of that is actually real.

How about Labour peer Michelle, Lady Mone, picking up a married 46 year old Vietnamese man thinking he was a 6 year old boy?



https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/...ver-hes-a-46yearold-married-man-a3242791.html

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Max Verstappen prepares for the Spanish Grand Prix by not sleeping.

 

[Rage Racer]

Masters of headline.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Five men in court accused of misusing the camera equipment on SYP's helicopter. BBC.

 

[Northstar]

Five men in court accused of misusing the camera equipment on SYP's helicopter. BBC.

Where's the misuse?

 

[JKgo]

Five men in court accused of misusing the camera equipment on SYP's helicopter. BBC.

...I don't get it - what were they doing exactly? Did they use the helicopter as a prop in a.... salacious shoot, or did they do a fly-over recording of a pair of lovebirds making a nest a la traffic reports?

A small confession: not too long ago, I watched a late-night run of not so PG-friendly films on a local channel and one of them had such a scene involving a helicopter... Maybe that's why I can't properly fathom what these men were "up" to, together.

 

[BobK]

Masters of headline.

What, no pictures?

Five men in court accused of misusing the camera equipment on SYP's helicopter. BBC.

What, no pictures?
(from the camera, I mean)

 

[TenEightyOne]

Man considers legal action after a clown lands on his head.

Spoiler

Video is probably SFW but does show a man being knocked out by a clown. BBC.

 

[Touring Mars]

This one's more a review of politicians caught in awkward (or just plain stupid) poses, some oldies but goodies BBC

On election night last week, a couple of commentators tore strips off various Scottish party leaders, who between them notched up a fair number of ridiculous moments. The line of the night was "Whoever thought that putting Ruth Davidson on the back of a buffalo was a good way to engage with the electorate really needs to consider their position".

The Lib Dem leader Willie Rennie also had a ridiculous moment when a pair of pigs are trying to having sex right behind him while he does his piece to camera...

 

[TenEightyOne]

Thieves who syphon diesel from coaches used to have it much easier in the days before coaches had sewage tanks. Some weird clickbait site.

 

[Grayfox]

A MAN was left red-faced when firefighters had to be called to hospital to remove a tool from his penis.

The man became stuck after his penis swelled up in the ring spanner on Monday and was he unable to remove it.

Tweed firefighters say it not uncommon for them to be called to such jobs where people leave it too late to ask for help.

“It’s really dangerous because inevitably people leave it too long to come see us because they are embarrassed, or say my wife said to put butter on it, sleep on it and it will go down,” said senior firefighter Peter Sutherland.

“It never does.”

Mr Sutherland said one man took his girlfriend with him to the hospital.

“The blood goes into the appendage whether it’s a finger or whatever, it just swells up and by the time you realise it’s too late,” he said.

“We use a tiny angle grinder that’s air operated and use measuring tape to protect the skin and slowly zip away at it while keeping water running on it so it doesn’t get too hot.

“It’s a pretty delicate operation especially where it is, there’s a lot of blood vessels.

“We do quite a few of them.”

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...r/news-story/a4927c224080aae448c1bac81e95cb64

 

[Danoff]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...s-it-illegal-to-send-after-hours-work-emails/

"I think the topic of work-related well-being is much larger than simply stopping email after-hours," said Whittle. "Email is just a medium used to communicate. The real problem is the culture of having to constantly do more and constantly do better than competitors."

Too funny. "The real problem is having to try." Yup, life would be better if nobody did anything.

 

[Joel]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...s-it-illegal-to-send-after-hours-work-emails/

Too funny. "The real problem is having to try." Yup, life would be better if nobody did anything.

That's not what it says, that's not what the law is aiming at, and you know it.

 

[FoolKiller]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...s-it-illegal-to-send-after-hours-work-emails/



Too funny. "The real problem is having to try." Yup, life would be better if nobody did anything.

Quick way around that:



Subject: Janet's Birthday

Hey everyone,

Tomorrow is Janet's birthday, so be sure to wish her a happy one.

Happy Birthday, Janet.

Bossy McBossface
Boss of you
Company that employs you
Bossy.McBossface@company.com
P: 555-5555
F: 555-5545

Motivational quote of the day:
"Your TPS Reports are due tomorrow. Don't forget to use the new cover sheet." - Bossy McBossface

 

[Swagger897]

That's not what it says, that's not what the law is aiming at, and you know it.

Ahhhh, I don't know but that seems spot on. Worried about the Asian market blowing past you because you're not able to sell more than they are doing, so stopping you from working seems to be exactly what he said.

If they were truly worried, then import quotas should be made rather than reducing a nation's own GDP.

 

[Danoff]

That's not what it says, that's not what the law is aiming at, and you know it.

That's what the quote was aiming at. The law is laughable on its own merits.

 

[eran0004]

The headline today: "Nothing has happened in four years."

 

[Blitz24]

Quick way around that:



Subject: Janet's Birthday

Hey everyone,

Tomorrow is Janet's birthday, so be sure to wish her a happy one.

Happy Birthday, Janet.

Bossy McBossface
Boss of you
Company that employs you
Bossy.McBossface@company.com
P: 555-5555
F: 555-5545

Motivational quote of the day:
"Your TPS Reports are due tomorrow. Don't forget to use the new cover sheet." - Bossy McBossface

I now feel motivated to give Janet the TPS reports as a present.

 

[Joel]

Ahhhh, I don't know but that seems spot on. Worried about the Asian market blowing past you because you're not able to sell more than they are doing, so stopping you from working seems to be exactly what he said.

If they were truly worried, then import quotas should be made rather than reducing a nation's own GDP.

I'm not arguing about the effectiveness of the law, but reducing it to saying "the world would be better if nobody tried!" sarcastically isn't really a reasonable response.

That's what the quote was aiming at. The law is laughable on its own merits.

The quote was aiming at the trend of work eroding people's personal life with the expectation someone is always available to answer emails, and the related stress. That's not saying things would be easier if nobody worked hard.

 

[Danoff]

The quote was aiming at the trend of work eroding people's personal life with the expectation someone is always available to answer emails, and the related stress. That's not saying things would be easier if nobody worked hard.

Here's what was actually said:

The real problem is the culture of having to constantly do more and constantly do better than competitors.

The real problem is having to compete. What's another word for compete?

 

[Rage Racer]

"Vladimir Vladimirovich, this is our new ca... Oh 🤬"

Spoiler

The general tore the car's doorhandle off trying to open the door, then threw it into the car.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

The Northern Territory government is planning a three hundred-metre long glass skywalk over Nitmiluk Gorge in a bid to further increase tourism. It sounds like a great idea ... until you get to this part:

The walk is to be designed to blend in with the gorge's natural scenery.

"This is achieved through the use of suitable organic looking materials, including perforated, rusted metal to enhance the natural hues of the gorge along with frameless glass balustrades to achieve maximum opacity and minimise obstruction of views," the Government said in a statement.

 

[Blitz24]

The Northern Territory government is planning a three hundred-metre long glass skywalk over Nitmiluk Gorge in a bid to further increase tourism. It sounds like a great idea ... until you get to this part:

So rust is clearly not obstructive anymore?