Funny/Strange News Stories

[TenEightyOne]

Just like that zoo where they had to kill the silverback, how did the child get into the enclosure?

Leaned too far and fell down the wall?

 

[JKgo]

Because these days parents don't discipline their kids and let them run around like wild things.

Just like that zoo where they had to kill the silverback, how did the child get into the enclosure?
Parents let their kid run loose.

...

You did click on the link, right? Then you should've seen what the so-called "enclosure" looked like: a space on the floor cordoned off with some silly tapes. Don't tell me you were expecting a Fort Knox?

You should know how slippery young kids can be, not to mention crafty. Don't pay attention for ten seconds, and they are already neck-deep in mischief...

Besides, my question was... not really a question...

 

[Danoff]

Germany declares 1915 Armenian killings a "genocide"

...said Germany "Trust us, we know a thing or two about genocide".

The story isn't funny by itself, but that was the first thing that sprang to mind when I read the headline and I couldn't help myself.

 

[TenEightyOne]

With all requisite collars felt a Glasgae policeman has a go on the karaoke. BBC.

 

[Grayfox]

...

You did click on the link, right? Then you should've seen what the so-called "enclosure" looked like: a space on the floor cordoned off with some silly tapes. Don't tell me you were expecting a Fort Knox?

You should know how slippery young kids can be, not to mention crafty. Don't pay attention for ten seconds, and they are already neck-deep in mischief...

Besides, my question was... not really a question...

Did you miss the part where i said the zoo where they killed that silverback?
From some witness reports from that incident say the kid said "I want to go in there" and the parents let him by not paying attention to the biggest warning sign of them all.

If you cant control your kids, do something to control them.
Hire a sitter so they don't run around in public places like malls annoying others and making it harder for you when you need to do the shopping, if you struggle to control one child, do not have another, use a child leach.

Did you run around as a kid breaking things that did not belong to you?
Most likely not as your parents would have disciplined you and taught you not to act bad in public

 

[JKgo]

Did you miss the part where i said the zoo where they killed that silverback?
From some witness reports from that incident say the kid said "I want to go in there" and the parents let him by not paying attention to the biggest warning sign of them all.

If you cant control your kids, do something to control them.
Hire a sitter so they don't run around in public places like malls annoying others and making it harder for you when you need to do the shopping, if you struggle to control one child, do not have another, use a child leach.

Did you run around as a kid breaking things that did not belong to you?
Most likely not as your parents would have disciplined you and taught you not to act bad in public

...Nope, didn't miss the part. Couldn't, even if I wanted to, since your post was roughly 65% about the unfortunate Cincinnati zoo incident, not the Lego Zoo(topia) incident.

Now, I can't speak for every parents out there (since I'm a bonafide eternal bachelor) but last time I checked, most adults wouldn't take a four year old saying things like "I want to do that" or "I want to eat that" too seriously. Besides, I heard cops are involved, so let them figure it out. You and me do not possess all the relevant facts so we can't pass any fair judgment.

As for my childhood, uh, nope, can't remember. It's too long ago. Sorry. But having said that, I do remember breaking a few stuff and getting scolded for it....

 

[TenEightyOne]

"My passport made me look like Hitler" says man whose passport made him look like Hitler. BBC.

 

[Dennisch]

I know it's the Daily Mail but alas.

Dressing as a knight/crusader might be offensive to Muslims.

 

[axletramp]

Dressing as a knight/crusader might be offensive to Muslims.

Not the sensible intelligent ones, i.e. the vast majority. The crazies that will get offended whatever people are wearing and are just looking for an excuse. So, tough.

 

[TenEightyOne]

I know it's the Daily Mail but alas.

Dressing as a knight/crusader might be offensive to Muslims.

I'm far more offended by the Mail's accompanying picture of England's flag with the word "ENGLAND" writted across it in writting. That really really grinds my gears. Really.

Anyhoo; the BBC piece was actually quite well-balanced. Of course the Crusaders outfit can be offensive to some British people, it's a part of our heritage that was particularly nasty, gruesome and which has been divisive since our first Muslim cabinet members back in the 1500s. That's logically obvious but the original piece was nowhere near as cross-eyed-foaming-at-the-mouth as the Mail's.

 

[BobK]

I'm sure Crusader outfits would be offensive to some, and not just Muslims.

So what?

For any costume, there will be someone who will be offended. Or no costume at all.

 

[TenEightyOne]

So what?

At a soccer match then violence is a real possibility. At a soccer match in Paris racial violence is historically likely and sensibly probable.

 

[JKgo]

...On a lighter note, I put forward this choice of costume as the most sensible for, well, pretty much any sport involving sunlight-on-skin:

Spoiler

 

[axletramp]

Suddenly I'm hungry. Mmm, Gull Tikka.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-36490552

 

[TenEightyOne]

Mind your speed now. BBC.

 

[Liquid]

Seagull turns orange after falling into a vat of curry.

 

[TenEightyOne]

"Doctor, doctor, there's a grenade in my face"

"Just don't blow your nose".

Best I could think of at short notice, badumm tshhh.

 

[gnomefromnome]

Man arrested after being ratted out by cows

 

[JKgo]

...Well, cowboys and their lassoes. BBC.

Line up with yer Lone Ranger jokes, starting, now...

 

[GTRacer22]

Man forces bee to watch Bee Movie.

 

[Blitz24]

Mind your speed now. BBC.

View attachment 556839

Go at 20, get no ticket.
Go at 31, get 2!

 

[gnomefromnome]

Cowboy lassos suspected thief

 

[Obelisk]

Cowboy lassos suspected thief

A bicycle thief in a Walmart lot caught by a cowboy...

Is this in Texas?

 

[JKgo]

Cowboy lassos suspected thief

...Literally three posts above yours.

 

[axletramp]

"I'm too sexy for my thawb. Too sexy for my thawb. So sexy it hurts."

 

[axletramp]

More a news story from a funny little man. than a funny news story, but seems appropriate for here.

*Language Warning* - a few 's' bombs knocking around for obvious reasons.

Bernie at it again. Had me at "Does anyone know what human rights are?". Yes Bernie, we do.

 

[Blitz24]

This is logic!

China bans Apple sales due to patent violation

 

[TenEightyOne]

Local council fails to save Gotham, computer says "no". BBC.

 

[Cowboy]

Cowboy lassos suspected thief

That's awesome

 

[JKgo]

Local council fails to save Gotham, computer says "no". BBC.

...On a related note, the biggest enemy of Batman is... SCIENCE!!

In his defense, I shall submit a very helpful pictorial:

Spoiler: Totally legit