Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

[SVT Cobra GT]

don't think you're Kimi bloody Raikkonen

I'll be surprised if he knew who Kimi was!

 

[NFSCARBON1]

A few months ago a 'ricer' (we tend to call them chavs or boy racers around here) drove past with a girl in his Civic. The car was lowered, painted orange and had a tacky unpainted bodykit and a rear spoiler that looked exactly like a stock civic wing, mounted on top of the existing wing and twin fart cans on the back (only one seemed to be connected!)

Anyway he was showing off by revving the engine and screeching his tyres, laughing his head off, while she seemed less impressed. Coming the other way a TVR driver on seeing this dropped a gear and briefly floored it. Cue hysterical laughter from the girl and the Civic drivers face dropping lower than is car.

 

[R5]

I'll be surprised if he knew who Kimi was!

That's a good point, actually

 

[SVT Cobra GT]

I was heading down to a car show last month, just before I got on the motorway. A guy pulls up by the side of me in a Civic, asks me "how slow and old is it?" before speeding off sreeching his stupid stretched tyres onto the motorway. About 20 miles down the motorway I see a car on the break down lane with its hazard lights on. As I got closer it looked a lot like a Civic, turned out it was the guy who was stood staring at his engine!
As I passed, beeped the horn, flashed the lights and gave him the finger.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

I was heading down to a car show last month, just before I got on the motorway. A guy pulls up by the side of me in a Civic, asks me "how slow and old is it?" before speeding off sreeching his stupid stretched tyres onto the motorway. About 20 miles down the motorway I see a car on the break down lane with its hazard lights on. As I got closer it looked a lot like a Civic, turned out it was the guy who was stood staring at his engine!
As I passed, beeped the horn, flashed the lights and gave him the finger.

Hahahaha! Well played sir.

What I love is when you have ricers in pairs; like in your story above. The driver challenges you to a race, the passenger talks 🤬
After beating them I would always mock them at the next lights [if they're there]. "'Let's race' he says..... 'it's unbeatable' he says...." Drive off.


@NFSCARBON1 Very funny indeed. I don't get why girls continue to go out with guys like that..
Girls: if you see your 'man' pull up in a Civic... get back into the house.

That's what I used to do with my sister.... She would be standing outside, guy pulls up, I look through the blinds, if the car is okay and the driver doesn't look like a douche, I'll give a thumbs up.

Then again, if I have doubts, I'll chase the guy down... #I'msuchanass

 

[Sage Ages]

Speaking of Ricers As i know ricers are usually Japanese but There are Actually american Cars which Made them more horrible than the japanese ones.
OK Why do they ruin it With that awful color and wheels The stock one is more better looking

People will use whatever they could afford. Nothing else really matters in their selection.

 

[RandomCarGuy17]

Great stories guys, reminds me of all of the ricer jokes I make with my friends whenever we meet.

As a matter of fact, there's one car I always seen at the parking lot of my school that has a lot of rice on it. It's a black subaru Forester with a stupid, orange spoiler on it and it had so many little orange decals and stuff all over it. There was a sti badge on the back, I still can't figure out why that guy thought it looked good. I should take a picture of it eventually.

 

[lvl1dnIghT7un3R]

Legacy, that story was hilarious. That's a ricer right there. If you see a M5 or any powerful car or truck, don't talk trash about it.

Great stories guys. Keep it up, hopefully I see more ricers and their moronic antics soon. Or more YouTube videos. 👍

EDIT: Look at these vids.....

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=pKpJ2bgMsjs

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=nobf7ilLPEY

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=y_j0BEKM0Mw

I'm dying from the last two. Holy s:censored:t!

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

A VW Beetle with an exhaust and some funny-looking taillights (don't ask what I mean, I can't explain) pulled up beside me at a red light. He rev'd his engine a lot. I looked over at what the noise was, laughed, and when the light turned green, proceeded to follow the speed limit. The Beetle was 200 feet behind. I wonder if he broke it... Or, whether the VW was just that underpowered.

 

[R5]

Guy at David Hayton Prestige car dealership: "I hate Porsche 911s!"

Me: "Why?"

Guy: "Beetles, man!"

Me: "Jesus H. Christ, you need to watch Top Gear. This GT3 RS is far from a Beetle..."

Guy: "How so? Both have rear-engines"

Me: "Do you drive anything better...?"

Guy: "Anything is better. My Civic hits the VTEC and bam! Beat a Veyron in a race!"

Me: "You say race. The Bugatti owner would say "Why the hell is he making so much noise from a Civic? Grow up!""

Guy: "Naa, full on race. I overtook a police car and it couldn't keep up. It was a Lamborghini Aventador!"

Me: "Where was this...?"

Guy: "Penrith."

Me: "The UK doesn't have an LP-700 police car."

Guy: "I'm not saying they do!"

Me: "You just did."

Guy: "I said Aventador. A. V. E. N. T. A. D. O. R."

Me: "Yes. Lamborghini Longitudinal Postero 700-4 Aventador."

Guy: "What are you smoking?"

Me: "Nothing."

Guy: "Whatever kid. You know nowt."

This is why Petrolheads get a bad reputation in Carlisle.

 

[Slash]

Wow. Freaking idiot I've heard so much crap its not funny. This is why I avoid conversations when I'm at the drag strip because somehow it ends up in a fight.

 

[R5]

I just avoid conversations with people in a Hoonigan t-shirt and a backwards cap.

 

[Slash]

I just avoid conversations with people in a Hoonigan t-shirt and a backwards cap.

I've said some stuff that has really ticked off some guys at the drag strip that drive cars like this:

Usually they are just parked and showing it off. Once I told them to take it down the drag strip and they gve me a dirty look. Then I was like "Oh wait, if you try to heat up the tires for grip you'll pop them". One guy came running after me and he was restrained by a bunch of people. I walked off laughing

 

[R5]

I couldn't help but be that sarcastic. Cars are not fashion accessories!

 

[SVT Cobra GT]

I've said some stuff that has really ticked off some guys at the drag strip that drive cars like this:

The only time cars like that are any good or of any use is when it floods.

 

[R5]

The only time cars like that are any good or of any use is when it floods.

Hey hey hey, that's not fair.

There's plenty of metal to recycle

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

I was heading down to a car show last month, just before I got on the motorway. A guy pulls up by the side of me in a Civic, asks me "how slow and old is it?" before speeding off sreeching his stupid stretched tyres onto the motorway. About 20 miles down the motorway I see a car on the break down lane with its hazard lights on. As I got closer it looked a lot like a Civic, turned out it was the guy who was stood staring at his engine!
As I passed, beeped the horn, flashed the lights and gave him the finger.

Ahahahahaha!!!! 👍

Ricer got owned!!! Do these idiots ever get it?! Talking crap and in the end their car is broken or totaled, but yours is in perfect condition and STILL running...

Sounds like my ricer stories I always tell my friends. Riceboy talk 🤬, rev crappy engine, tries sooooo hard to "race", you win they lose, they get mad and race against you again, but they blew their engine or stopped by the police.

Wow. Freaking idiot I've heard so much crap its not funny. This is why I avoid conversations when I'm at the drag strip because somehow it ends up in a fight.

Tell me about it.

Legacy, you totally owned him. This guy doesn't even know people shorten the Aventador's name to LP 700-4 when talking or typing, it happens all the time. And no crappy Civic that is running a crappy engine with made up performance isn't the greatest . A B16, B18, B20 up to a built K20 those are THE REAL Civic's engines. And Type Rs and Sis are the REAL Civics, and fully built ones can hang out with GTRs, Vipers and Lambos! But they are in another league WAY FAR from Lambos and Bugattis.

And another thing, why do people call 911s VW Beetles? I understand when people reply about the RR (rear engine, rear wheel drive) layout, the cars were made by Mr. Porsche and they ran the famous air cooled boxer engines (the older Beetles and 911s.)

But in reality, the cars handle differently. The 911 feels light and when cornering you need to be careful with the throttle and the steering input and avoid the under-to-oversteer handling thus giving the 911 the "Widow Maker" status it's well known by. The Beetle was a another story.

Just like the Skyline GTR's "Godzilla" (The GTRs dominated every car in their class when in the Group A racing and many more series. They hang out with cars with even more power from higher classes.) Lambo Diablo "The Devil" (The Diablo was a fierce car as well with it's V12 engine and handling combined.) The Vette ZR1 C6 with the ZR1's title called "Blue Devil" (The LS9 SC engine was a vicious combination with the chassis and the lightweight carbon fiber parts of the ZR. This Vette even scares the Z06, which uses a 7L engine!) The 911 been with the Widow maker title for years, just like it's rivals. Hell, even the RUF Yellowbird and the GT3 RS 4.0 and GT2 RS comes close to the title!

Sorry for the mini essay, but I had to let my inner gearhead out.

I've said some stuff that has really ticked off some guys at the drag strip that drive cars like this:

Usually they are just parked and showing it off. Once I told them to take it down the drag strip and they gve me a dirty look. Then I was like "Oh wait, if you try to heat up the tires for grip you'll pop them". One guy came running after me and he was restrained by a bunch of people. I walked off laughing

Hahaha!!! Owning lil' gangstaz and their bling wheels yo! That's gangster! 👍

Having huge stupid rims on your car and being at the drag or circuit is just like a "JDM as 🤬 Type R" with "stance" with stickers and a fart can at a drift event. And a bigger plus, the owners of these 🤬 cars think that they own the place or act hard.

These tough guys need to get their brains repaired. The guys at the track or at car shows don't act like that. The show and go communities are filled with cool people who don't act like they are the best. Look at every car mag out there and you will see them, go to any car forums and they will show you new tricks, ideas and/or give advice. Plus owning the noobs who think they're great and trolling them to the max.

@NFSCARBON: Love the story about the little boy getting pawned by the TVR and the girl laughing then the boy's manhood got destroyed.

@THRT: thanks for the tip 👍. Now I'm gonna watch my older niece's boyfriends or dates later. No douches or gangstas in crappy cars!

 

[R5]

It's mainly because Ferdinand Porsche designed both.

It's kinda pathetic and mostly fuelled by Jeremy Clarkson, I think.

 

[xXKingJoshXx]

It's just to be funny. I've said it many times.

 

[Slash]

I told a guy last week at the track I preferred side walled tires and he was like oh those look stupid and serve no purpose. I was like really? Bet I can do a longer burnout than you haha. The guy just looked at me weird.

 

[R5]

I told a guy last week at the track I preferred side walled tires and he was like oh those look stupid and serve no purpose. I was like really? Bet I can do a longer burnout than you haha. The guy just looked at me weird.

Longer burnouts, better ride, less rolling resistance (I think)... Quite a few more benefits.

 

[Slash]

Longer burnouts, better ride, less rolling resistance (I think)... Quite a few more benefits.

Then again low profiles have the advantages in handling. I still prefer a sidewall to my tire though.

 

[R5]

Then again low profiles have the advantages in handling. I still prefer a sidewall to my tire though.

Less treadshuffle!

But the advantages (I imagine) are pretty minimal compared to the disadvantages.

 

[lvl1dnIghT7un3R]

hahahahah

 

[Dan]

hahahahah

I suddenly feel compelled to punch that guy in the face.

 

[lvl1dnIghT7un3R]

Lol, everything he says is just hilarious. You can click to any part of the video and get a good laugh. Tomato slicer, 3000 hp to the front wheels, two brake pedals... omfg... still lmao.

 

[JrDarknes]

Dude is too funny. He plays it so well especially with the hair.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Longer burnouts, better ride, less rolling resistance (I think)

Those that I haven't struck out are valid.


The one I struck out, I have seen no proof of this, how would less rolling resistance be a result of the height of the tire's sidewall? It doesn't change the width (bicycle tires have less rolling resistance, in the same way,) or, necessarily, the diameter (meaning that the torque required to turn it also remains roughly the same.)


So, I'd like to think that it's bunk, unless you have a theory or proof.


_____________________________________________________________


As for ridiculous ricer things, I dislike the stigma attached to some cars. Has anyone noticed, how muscle car fans are unwilling to accept that some Honda Civics are actually legitimately fast?


I watch a lot of touring car racing, but, I've recently begun to think that people underestimate the speeds that Canadian Touring Car Championship cars are reaching, and how well they handle. When I was at Mosport, a lot of the NASCAR fans left after the NASCAR race ended. I was not even slightly impressed by the NASCAR race, since the cars were all so spaced-apart, not much racing going on.


But, as expected, I found the touring car race to be really interesting. Watching an Impreza STi lock its brakes trying to pass an Integra/RSX Type-S was very interesting.


The speeds weren't all that different, but the touring cars were much faster through the corners, I believe, while the NASCARs were much faster on the straights. It makes sense, because the NASCARs have huge motors, with lots of displacement and torque.


But, everyone sees the street car in the touring cars, and doesn't see the street car in the NASCARs.


It's almost like people have "adjusted" to seeing ricer cars, and determined that they're all slow. There are actually some really fast street cars that legitimately need downforce, but because some 16 year olds want to set their cars apart from the others, so they can be found in the grocery store parking lot, the truly fast cars are losing out.


My best friend wants to build a 240SX, and make it a street-legal track car. It's possible, and should be rather fun. But, I almost feel bad about designing the aerodynamic devices (splitters, canards, diveplanes, diffusers, spoilers) that would make his car faster. It'd be easy enough to design them with a quick-release mechanism to hold them in place, and take them off for street use, but I think he likes the style of having a small spoiler on the back.


I'm just imagining that my best friend, who actually has a very thought-provoking and insightful knowledge of cars, will get flack for being a "ricer," simply because he will, inevitably, want to create some downforce.

 

[R5]

As I said, good sir, I think they have lower rolling resistance. It's just my theory behind how smaller wheels equal lower Co2 ratings in a few cars.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

As I said, good sir, I think they have lower rolling resistance. It's just my theory behind how smaller wheels equal lower Co2 ratings in a few cars.

I hope you're talking about emissions... CO2 = ? Carbon dioxide?


If so, I'll give a reasonable explanation: smaller wheels, as I hinted upon, act almost like a gear. The smaller the wheels (like a gear, for example), the less power you need to turn them. However, as far as I know, the wheel's total diameter, including the diameter of the tire, is the only important aspect of that.


However, in a very small way, there is some validity to what you're saying, though the term "rolling resistance" is irrelevant. The rotating mass, and unsprung weight of the tire is smaller with higher profile tires. Unsprung mass is a bad thing, yes. But, if your tires are too high-profile, you're going to roll over the sidewall, and the car will handle unpredictably. If your tires aren't the right diameter, you'll find that wacky things will start to happen to your speedometer, and that, even after you adjust the speedometer, you're in different gears at different speeds.


So, no, you can't put a 10" rim on a Cadillac with a huge profile, either.


Basically, if you're worried about decreasing rolling resistance, drive a Deltawing, Ford Model T, Birel AM29, or ride a bicycle. Rolling resistance is the resistance to rolling. Rather simple explanation, is how much the car resists to rolling. The bigger, heavier cars with wider tires don't roll as easily. But, most people don't care, because wider tires are grippier, normally, given a wider surface area.






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