Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

MK1 MR2 lover
Wow guys, haven't checked the thread in a while. It's great to see that there are people still on it!

I've got to download a picture of an accord off of my phone that I think you guys would appreciate ;D. That's for another time though...

So yesterday I was driving to a buddies house who lives in a suburban area crawling with teenage JDM swaggots as we've grown to call them. While I was waiting at a stop light in front of a gigantic lifted ram 2500 I heard some swaggot in his civic hatch revving like there's no tomorrow. He was behind two cars so I honestly had no idea why he was revving like that. Then I heard the ram start to rev. I just laughed it off and continued waiting for the light. But after the ram was done I heard the whiny teenager start spewing profanities like a fire hydrant on a summer's day in the ghetto. So I looked back again just in time to see the ram bellow clouds of black smoke into the brat's face and fill his Honda until it came out of the sunroof! I was laughing so hysterically after that that it was hard for me to drive.
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OH MY GOD YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell yeah!
 
On my way home I see there are a line of classic cars driving, must be a cruise or something. I catch up to them, and at the front is a silver Shelby Cobra. I get lucky enough to pull up next to him at a light.
I look at him and say "wanna race?" He laughed, as I revved my motor with "dumped exhaust"
Sadly he didn't race, so technically I won. :sly:
And yes, I am the ricer, in case you never seen my car
1nku.jpg
 
Bopop4
:lol:

No, he just wanted to save you the embarrassment,
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Pretty much. No telling how much power that cobra had. Stock 427s are known to be well in the 500 horsepower range. With aftermarket the way it is now he coulda faced 1000 horsepower or more.
 
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:lol:👍

Loving the stories guys. And MK1 Lover, that Ram owned that crappy Civic! Car guys 100000pts, Ricers 0. :lol:

@Random: Same here. Those 427s mean business. If you race one, or any powerful engine. You better have some power, if not you're screwed.

But I'll laugh at the ricer, unless he's acting all tough and can't be touched, then I'm gonna school him and laugh. Hehe.. :lol:
 
At ALMS Laguna Seca this year, listening to the Dyson tech talk.

"So, does anyone have any questions?"

Me: "Uh yeah, when do you think you'll be running that hybrid system again?"

"We're not really sure, but Laguna wouldnt have been a good place to run it anyway, we like our weight balance here"

Other random guy "This here car (Pointing to a Lola-Mazda) don't look like much. Can it stand up to 4 hours of racin? I mean, it looks like it would break over th' bumps! And theres no way you can keep an engine runnin' for 4 hours, NASCARs barely make it that long. What about the suspension?"

"Well actually sir, apart from Tyres and Fuel, this car is designed to run for 30 hours straight, so this honestly shouldn't be an issue as far as reliability of the drivertrain or brakes are concerned."

Owned.

But seriously, were your driving by and just decided to buy a ticket? How could you not have read about an ENDURANCE racing series when you got the tickets? And if you were invited by someone, why didnt he tell you to shut the hell up?
 
To be fair the Dyson hasn't been that reliable this year :P
 
Well, this is a new one. Lifted trucks (and other forms of compensation) are pretty popular in my area, seeing as it's nothing but cornfields for miles. But I just saw a slammed F-series with a wing sticking out of the bed, and what had to be the loudest fart can I've ever heard, cruising down my road. I'm sort of jealous of it, actually. What better way to troll the kids cruising around in their massive lifted diesel pickups?
 
So art my job we hired a new guy, and being nice i was showing him the ropes. As we work we start talking cars, and the day went down hill. He claimed his "slammed" 93 BMW 325i is the fastest thing in our parking lot. Now there are Corvettes, Vipers, a new M5 and many 911s in our lot. I asked what he`s done to it and he said "CAI, axle back, and an ecu chip". This all supposedly got him up to 375hp.... He wants to get a Fiero, put a v8 up FRONT and drift it as well. He claimed he has a buddy with a 700hp supra running on the stock turbo, and a camro with a 350, the only mod is its overbored .30, and is somehow putting down 650hp. I had to walk away.
 
Everything else I could listen to but...

oopssorryy
A Camaro with a 350, the only mod is its overbored .30, and is somehow putting down 650hp. I had to walk away.
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I'm sorry WHAT?!?!? Over-bored by .30 and 650HP. .30 is only going to get you a couple of horses, not 650. Besides, there needs to be a ratio, so to speak, between Bore and Stroke. If he has too much bore, his HP won't matter because his engine won't turn on. Even if it did, it will buckle and shatter the pistons.
 
Guys, I've got videos that (hopefully) show the flames my lawn mower motor spits out. I actually want to post the video of the exhaust flames up, just to show "ha-ha! Look, flames!"


Because my motor cost something like $600 and runs on 91 Octane pump gas. :sly: Take that, ricers!
 
Carlos
The link is for mobile, it doesn't show anything when I click on it.
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It doesn't? I'm using the mobile app of GTPlanet, let me see what can I do.....

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?feature=related&v=-EDPeC8z7nk

Try this link. I'm not near my laptops nor a desktop computer at the moment.

http://youtube.com/#/watch?feature=related&v=-EDPeC8z7nk

Let me know if you can see it. Warning, after seeing some of these videos or RICErs, you probably want to take your eyes out. :scared::nervous:

http://youtube.com/#/watch?v=nCgVyC7g5H8&feature=related

Fast and the Furious Ghetto Boi Edition :lol:

A certain retarded moron wannabe tough guy named Soulja Boy wants to race his ex-buddy's LP640 for slips. But the moron will be using a so called "stock" Gallardo trying to beat a 640hp, AWD Mucielago with a Gallardo that's not even a 570 SL or equipped with performance mods. :facepalm:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=42nfWP3DW1Y
 
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Yesterday I was in town looking through the games when I picked up Killzone 3. A guy next to me pointed to NFS: Shift and said "The most realistic racing game around this" so I looked over, the guy was about 13, and said "Oh yes so much more realistic than iRacing or Simraceway. It's about as realistic as Mariokart (hyperbole)" so he said "Naa mate. My dad tuned his Civic Type-R on this. It goes like stink" so I chuckled and replied "But not as fast as, lets say, a stock Type-R in the corners." He said (no word of a lie) "Naa. 6G in corners"

I... I can't even... How does one even... Why... What the...
 
Its not something ricers say, this is more something ricers do, putting a NISMO sticker on a Toyota or Mitsibishi, A ralliart sticker slightly larger then the rear window, on the rear window of a Daewoo Lanos,

the most unusual ricer I came across had a 70's Rover, put celica badges on it, and said it was an AE86, He came to the scarp yard I worked at with scrap metals for recycling, and would totally BS us about his rover,
One particular day I decided to test his stupidity, He brought in some assorted parts, from washing machines or fridge motors, I picked up a random object that looked like a random engine part from the assortment of recycling materials, and said
"Wait a minute bloke, this is rare, get it reconditioned at this carburetor repair place and install it to your fuel injection kit, 500 horses easy, they are illegal!"
Needless to say he never came back whilst I finished my employment there,
 
My neighbor is a fanboy ricer from redneck hell. Claimed his Cavalier could beat anything on our block, including my motorcycle. Well one day last week we egged him on to do an e-brake burnout (because it's FF obviously) and quite expectedly the car didn't have enough power to get it done. Also quite expected, he did a decent job roasting the clutch. Kinda hard to be the fastest car on the block now, isn't it... :mischievous:
 
XS
My neighbor is a fanboy ricer from redneck hell. Claimed his Cavalier could beat anything on our block, including my motorcycle. Well one day last week we egged him on to do an e-brake burnout (because it's FF obviously) and quite expectedly the car didn't have enough power to get it done. Also quite expected, he did a decent job roasting the clutch. Kinda hard to be the fastest car on the block now, isn't it... :mischievous:
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Hahahahaha. I love cocky people that make fools of themselves. My buddy has Corolla and he knows it sucks and he still has fun with it. At least he isn't like this guy with his Crapilier lol.
 
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Well, I'm going to college to be a mechanic in a month. I'm hoping there are no ricers in my class, but, if there are... :mischievous:


Anyways, my favourite thing, I think, is when someone freaked out about a car having a rollcage and window nets. I don't remember where or what it was, just someone freaked out "ZOMG rollcage Hax0rzzzz!!!!111!!!"

Yes, most purpose built cars have rollcages. 👍 this is a big deal because...?
 
MrMelancholy15
Well, I'm going to college to be a mechanic in a month. I'm hoping there are no ricers in my class, but, if there are... :mischievous:

Anyways, my favourite thing, I think, is when someone freaked out about a car having a rollcage and window nets. I don't remember where or what it was, just someone freaked out "ZOMG rollcage Hax0rzzzz!!!!111!!!"

Yes, most purpose built cars have rollcages. 👍 this is a big deal because...?
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Cars have had roll cages for ages. :lol:


Anyways being a mechanic is an awesome field to get into if you like cars. It can be physically demanding but it opens the door to a whole new world. Ever since I started I've got to see and ride in cars I drooled over as a kid. I really enjoy my work and I'm glad to see others taking up the profession. 👍
 
Well, I'm not planning on installing 22" inch Dub rims, so hopefully the lifting won't be worse than my current job... My current job... It involves lifting the wheels of forklifts, on occasions. :ouch:


Back on-topic:

Another thing I loved, (though it's not specific to ricers,) is that no one knew which pedal was the gas pedal, and which was the brake, on my kart. :lol: :eek: I only had one person ask where the clutch pedal was.

Is it typical, though, that everyone was more concerned with the gas and brake pedals, and not concerned with the clutch? Ricers with automatics aside, it's pretty obvious that you should know where the clutch pedal is, if you're about to drive something that has a clutch pedal. 💡
 
MrMelancholy15
Well, I'm not planning on installing 22" inch Dub rims, so hopefully the lifting won't be worse than my current job... My current job... It involves lifting the wheels of forklifts, on occasions. :ouch:

Back on-topic:

Another thing I loved, (though it's not specific to ricers,) is that no one knew which pedal was the gas pedal, and which was the brake, on my kart. :lol: :eek: I only had one person ask where the clutch pedal was.

Is it typical, though, that everyone was more concerned with the gas and brake pedals, and not concerned with the clutch? Ricers with automatics aside, it's pretty obvious that you should know where the clutch pedal is, if you're about to drive something that has a clutch pedal. 💡
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Generally it isn't to bad though you get the occasional part or wheel that can be pretty heavy.
 
On big red '80s Fords? :lol: I'm hoping to avoid parts over 70 lb., that's roughly what I lift 3-4x a day currently.

Naturally, then, rallying, with its emphasis on 15" wheels and tires, and lightweight parts has even more added benefits to my spinal comfort. Karting was bad for that.


I could go on and on about what people said about my go-kart, to get back on topic. My favourite comment "how long 'til you get that turbo?"

Dude, it's a high-compression Honda lawnmower motor. It's also a grenade. Even without turbos, these motors are prone to explosive catastrophic failures. The compression ratio is extremely high.
 
legacyMACHINE
Yesterday I was in town looking through the games when I picked up Killzone 3. A guy next to me pointed to NFS: Shift and said "The most realistic racing game around this" so I looked over, the guy was about 13, and said "Oh yes so much more realistic than iRacing or Simraceway. It's about as realistic as Mariokart (hyperbole)" so he said "Naa mate. My dad tuned his Civic Type-R on this. It goes like stink" so I chuckled and replied "But not as fast as, lets say, a stock Type-R in the corners." He said (no word of a lie) "Naa. 6G in corners"

I... I can't even... How does one even... Why... What the...
Click to expand...

:lol:
Yup, that sums up most ricers in general.
 

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