Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

MedigoFlame
Picture of the Del Sol at the meet:
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This is one of the best examples of rice I've seen haha cheers for the pic man!

@liquid, no, owning a Honda doesn't make you a ricer, owning excessively tacky visuallly modded cars and acting "hard" does however.
 
An old friend of mine was still in high school when the Fast & Furious movies were big, and he knew this guy who came up with the most unbelievable ricer ideas. Some of them included:

-Drifting is "doing a burnout around a corner."

-Spinners make your car go faster because they add momentum to the wheels.

-Subwoofers make your car go faster if you install them facing the rear and drive with the trunk open.

-(My favorite) Neon underglow makes your car handle better because it ionizes the air, creating a negative pressure field that sucks the car to the ground. There are so many levels of messed up in the fact that the guy could formulate this concept that I still don't know what to think about it.
 
Takumi Fujiwara
-(My favorite) Neon underglow makes your car handle better because it ionizes the air, creating a negative pressure field that sucks the car to the ground. There are so many levels of messed up in the fact that the guy could formulate this concept that I still don't know what to think about it.
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ROFLMAOPIMP XD I have to say that this is probably the #1 ricer statement/action on this thread and could verywell be one of the most outlandish statements in all of the decades that have passed since fast and furious 1 premiered!


Keep the stories comin' guys!
 
my friends usually add 10 to 20km/h when talking about their car's max speed. Some of them went further. I've heard of Smart 2 seater going past 180km/h, Ford Fiesta 1,4 going at 190 but showing to be capable of faster speeds, 260km/h on an Audi A6 2,7TDI.
Of course, claims of glorious drifting with front transmission cars at totally unbelievable speed ("Took that corner at 110, lost the car back, countersteered"), or only claims of unbelievable speed in streets I know (150km/h on short straights).
But the best ones regard the ecu mod. Everyone in Italy who loves his car mods the ecu. Detail, it works for turbo engines (diesel Fiat/Alfa/Lancia go from 120 to 150 hp) but not for NA ones, as everywhere. But you always happen to read on forums such things as a 1,6l engine (NA) which went from 100 to 130HP only thanks to ecu.

However, when someone tells you its car smoked a consistently more powerful one, that's not impossible. My friend's got a Fiat 500 (60-70hp) with traction control, and on a wet road (for the first 100 meters) he could easily beat my 190hp Alfa without TCS and with very old front tyres.
 
Not hilarious, but there's a kid at school who recently bought a Nissan 350Z, and during a class I hear 2 other kids saying "Dude did you see ____'s new 350Z? It's like a freakin $250,000 car!"
 
PiRacingChamp
Mk1, love your handle. I've owned 3, and won regional solo II championships in two of them
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Good man, good man. Are the races you're talking about auto-x or something else? I'm not familiar with the title.
 
Somewhat unrelated but I saw somebody driving a yaris in a best buy parking lot this past Sunday back into a Mercedes E class and then speed off because the driver of the Mercedes wasn't there...

Just a reminder to drive responsibly this holliday season and whatch out for idiots on the roadway!


(P.S. somebody stayed by the car and helped the owner file a police report for hit and run so I'm sure the yaris driver will be getting a nice little visit from the police.)
 
Today a yellow pontiac sunfire passed by the bus stop I was waiting at.

"Yo, check out that Lambo!"

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ
 
Me- Blue Kid- Black
Heard this today.
"Lamborghini is the best car EVAR!"
"Why?"
"Because it's the best looking car in the world..."
"O.o..."
Then, in the background, this snotty kid shouted "The Bugatti is the best, I should know, my uncle has one!
"Oh really? (Troll face.) What does he work as?
"He's a painter and decorator, but he also has a part-time job being a removal man."


That was the closest point I have been to wetting my-self in about ten years. I kid you not.
 
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Please do post any Christmas lolz that you guys may have happened upon this past weekend. I saw a 90's ford explorer on the 405 which had Christmas lights strewn about the roof rack... This in itself isn't out of the ordinary except for the 🤬 light up reindeer antlers trailing behind the car on strands of Christmas lights! Not sure if this guy ever got pulled over but I certainly hope he did before he caused an accident :scared: .
 
One of my old friends used to have a Honda CR-X with the typical spoiler on the back, black wheels, red body with stripes on the side... you know typical ricer. One day, he started talking up his car, saying it could beat any muscle car, and how it can go "hypersonically fast" (I dont know how that makes sense), so I said to him "Alright then, hot shot, lets hit the highway" (I'm stupid like that).

I get into my '68 Pontiac GTO (just rebuilt, with all the original parts thanks to OPG-Original Parts Group) and we "hit the highway".

When we went past 130 km/h, his car started falling apart, literaly. First came his oversized muffler, then the sideskirt, then the spoiler, and finally the bonnet.

I miss that little buzzer. Come to think of it, I have an identical version of the car in GT5.
 
Ahahahaha!!!! :lol:👍

Excellent stories. I can't get enough of the Veyron and the CRX falling apart and that Explorer! :lol:👍
 
When your friend buys a 09 cobalt ss/sc that sat in grass for a year and a half, washes it, buys hid's, and a fart can. Then proceeds to text you every day telling you what kind of car he raced and beat. Yesterday it was a 500hp tt Pontiac solstice, and the day before he was racing with 3 civics on the 401. Ya Ok.
 
VspecZR1GT2RS89
Ahahahaha!!!! :lol:👍

Excellent stories. I can't get enough of the Veyron and the CRX falling apart and that Explorer! :lol:👍
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Then you'll love this... I think you've seen it on YT. It's a clip of a Bugatti Veyron crashing into the water; although the driver is a rich loser trying to rip off his insurance company, the camera man and his buddies made the video....

Camera man: "That will be mine someday..."

Car starts going off course...

Buddies: "Oh ****! Oh ****! (More cussing)..... That Lambo...."

*FACEPALM
 
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Ha ha, that's fantastic.

"I live in a tent but it's okay, I paid for a roof scoop and a vent"...

I feel bad for the E46 though.
 
Sitting with my mate in front of school, another kid walks up (Owns a Toyota Celica with black rims)

*E39 M5 drives up*

Me "Thats a nice car"
Mate "I know right?"
Other kid "That? It looks like a granny car. I could easily wreck his s***"
"In what, your Celica? Good luck"
"OH please, my Celica was worth like $40k new. That thing was probably only 20, and now its old. Mines an '01"

Yeah, ok bud..
 

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