Funny things RICErs say (radically immature car enthusiasts)

[Johnny1996]

I actually had to ask my dad if he had hit something.



True, I'm just saying with his upgraded suspension it probably could take a nice hit at that speed.

I had a gopher or something similar get pounded by the front of a Ford Taurus rental car one time.

Woah, ninja edit.

 

[Slash]

We hit a racoon in my moms car within a week of buying it brand new off the lot and it totaled the front end and undercarriage.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

I've only ever hit a bird, once.

... Subaru guys talk about their hood scoops as "bird catchers." I would've had it in my hood scoop, if I had a hood scoop.

*insert "this is where my turbo would be... IF I HAD ONE".jpg*

As I was saying, RICErs who don't take themselves seriously...

 

[Johnny1996]

We hit a racoon in my moms car within a week of buying it brand new off the lot and it totaled the front end and undercarriage.

We absolutely pounded that animal though. It felt like a curb hop at 60 mph. Now I know what it feels like to be Jamie Whincup or Marcos Ambrose when a V8 Supercar curb hops.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Not really. I doubt you had racing suspension and a bump big enough to lift half the car three feet off the ground.

 

[Johnny1996]

Not really. I doubt you had racing suspension and a bump big enough to lift half the car three feet off the ground.

It must've been the stiff suspension then.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

It must've been the stiff suspension then.

I've lifted my inside wheels one foot off the ground, thought I was going to die. You would certainly know if you did because that is a truly frightening "life flashes before your eyes" moment. I've done it like 20 times in karting, and I still get that fear. I have tremendous respect for Australian V8 drivers... I'd be more scared to do what they do, than formula one.

 

[Slash]

I must be used to it from offroading in big trucks, drag racing and three wheelers.

Then again, never done it at speed on the road so I don't know if that makes a huge difference or not.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Speed makes all the difference. At 100 km/h, lifting the inside tires a foot off the ground, your body gets the "kick" - the same one you get when you're dreaming of falling off of a cliff and almost fall off your bed...


But you know you can't just move away from that cliff... Because you have to make it around the corner.

 

[Slash]

One of those moments you just have to experience.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

One of those moments you just have to experience.

Do it!

(At a track, semi-safely.. roll cage is your friend... And since you could hit your head on the rollcage, a helmet, too.)


Yeah. It sounds easier than it is, , but it's an excuse for a track day.

 

[Slash]

Someday

 

[Azure Flare]

*insert "this is where my turbo would be... IF I HAD ONE".jpg*

I do something similar, I point at The Kia and say "And this is where I would park my Ford Fiesta ST... IF I HAD ONE!"

 

[Grandea GTR]

One of my friends just got a bone stock 2002 Lexus GS300 recently, and decided to tell me about it while we were having a group conversation with my "hardcore" car enthusiast friends. The moment he told me about it, one of my friends goes and asks him:

"Does it have a 2JZ-GTE?"

In which he replies: "Uh, no, it's stock."

The guy then proceeds to flip monkey s**t at his reply and says:

"Then yo' GS is a fake, bro. All GS's have dat twin turbo stock, bro! You got ripped off, bro!!!"

Cue facepalm and me explaining how GS300's have a Naturally Aspirated 2JZ-GE stock, in which he retorts:

"Bro, all Lexus's have dat tite twin turbo s**t on dem for lyfe! Go back into your Toyota, b**ch, before you get even mo' embarrassed, bro."

What

 

[Johnny1996]

I had a girl on my bus that knows a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny bit about cars, but she once called a Camaro a Mustang. She continued to do so even after being told by three hardcore car guys, I almost made a fourth, that it was a Camaro. She then got all pissed off at them for calling her a liar, and at no point did anyone call her such a thing.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

The 2JZ-GTE isn't even really the engine to have... I'd rather have the V8... Turbo that instead!

...but, to get worked up about it is nonsense.

 

[RandomCarGuy17]

One of my friends just got a bone stock 2002 Lexus GS300 recently, and decided to tell me about it while we were having a group conversation with my "hardcore" car enthusiast friends. The moment he told me about it, one of my friends goes and asks him:

"Does it have a 2JZ-GTE?"

In which he replies: "Uh, no, it's stock."

The guy then proceeds to flip monkey s**t at his reply and says:

"Then yo' GS is a fake, bro. All GS's have dat twin turbo stock, bro! You got ripped off, bro!!!"

Cue facepalm and me explaining how GS300's have a Naturally Aspirated 2JZ-GE stock, in which he retorts:

"Bro, all Lexus's have dat tite twin turbo s**t on dem for lyfe! Go back into your Toyota, b**ch, before you get even mo' embarrassed, bro."

What

What?!

 

[R5]

Fresh spot from my area.

Slammed Renault Clio with a sticker on the back saying "love machine. Don't laugh. It could be your wife AND daughter"

Someone had Mud-fittied "I doubt you could even pull a lass"

Which is probably accurate...

 

[SVT Cobra GT]

One of my friends just got a bone stock 2002 Lexus GS300 recently, and decided to tell me about it while we were having a group conversation with my "hardcore" car enthusiast friends. The moment he told me about it, one of my friends goes and asks him:

"Does it have a 2JZ-GTE?"

In which he replies: "Uh, no, it's stock."

The guy then proceeds to flip monkey s**t at his reply and says:

"Then yo' GS is a fake, bro. All GS's have dat twin turbo stock, bro! You got ripped off, bro!!!"

Cue facepalm and me explaining how GS300's have a Naturally Aspirated 2JZ-GE stock, in which he retorts:

"Bro, all Lexus's have dat tite twin turbo s**t on dem for lyfe! Go back into your Toyota, b**ch, before you get even mo' embarrassed, bro."

What

Too. Many. Mentions. Of. Bro.

I'd have back handed him for just saying bro.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

"Yo bro, why ya gotta be like that bro? What's wrong wit you bro?" A thing my classmate actually said.

 

[Gotbeefboy564]

Vtec bro.

 

[xXKingJoshXx]

I about lost it when I heard someone on my bus say "Bruh" a couple of years ago. I didn't realize that was actually a thing people said.

--

I don't really have much to stay on topic, so here's the best I got right now:

One time when I was in Tennessee at a gas station this guy pulls up in a late-70s Monte Carlo. He was leaking some sort of fluid and he went in to buy some more. When he came out he opened the hood and leaned over it looking back at everyone like "Yeah, I'm under the hood. I know what I'm doin'. I'm swaggin'. I bet you don't know nothin' about engines."

Meanwhile, while not paying any attention to what he's doing and only watching people to make sure they see him, he's pouring whatever fluid he was leaking into the car and it's dripping back onto the ground.

 

[Slash]

 

[Harry6784]

I about lost it when I heard someone on my bus say "Bruh" a couple of years ago. I didn't realize that was actually a thing people said.

--

I don't really have much to stay on topic, so here's the best I got right now:

One time when I was in Tennessee at a gas station this guy pulls up in a late-70s Monte Carlo. He was leaking some sort of fluid and he went in to buy some more. When he came out he opened the hood and leaned over it looking back at everyone like "Yeah, I'm under the hood. I know what I'm doin'. I'm swaggin'. I bet you don't know nothin' about engines."

Meanwhile, while not paying any attention to what he's doing and only watching people to make sure they see him, he's pouring whatever fluid he was leaking into the car and it's dripping back onto the ground.

Might just be this guy....

 

[Azure Flare]

@xXKingJoshXx It was Tennessee, what did you expect?

If I was the one who was pouring something into my leaky late-70's Monte Carlo and saw you looking at me, I would say "The 🤬 you lookin' at?". Then, when I had finished pouring liquid into my leaky late-70's Monte Carlo, I would throw it at you, and then get the hell out of there.

That is actually how I say "Hi".

 

[R5]

Alrighty. New story from "RICEr friend"

He owns a Peugeot 207 diesel with blue badges and stuff. Here's some of his claims

It could beat the following:
BMW M135i
Honda Civic Type-R
Renault Megane 265 Trophy
Jaguar XF
Lotus Elise

It can do
90mph through a turn which is a tight (the road is 4 metres wide. Single lane) 60 degrees bend with a large pothole christened "Rim splitter" and 2 very big ditches christened "The abyss"
It can do 0-62 faster than a petrol Mk 6 Golf GTI
It can be boosted to 600bhp with the standard engine block and turbo kept with just an ECU remap. And this won't destroy the tyres (odd unmarked tyres- not a clue what make) or the gearbox.

Is any of this true?
No. It's his imagination.

 

[Lotus Exige S]

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Having been on track with a Type-R and an Exige... I'd actually say that the Peugeot is half as fast. Both of those cars are surprisingly, immensely fast for being such small displacement.

 

[R5]

Having been on track with a Type-R and an Exige... I'd actually say that the Peugeot is half as fast. Both of those cars are surprisingly, immensely fast for being such small displacement.

An F1 car is a 1.6 turbo. Displacement doesn't mean speed

I'd also say less than half. At the most.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

But the Civic is also normally aspirated... So...


But, either way, that Peugeot guy is in for a surprise