GR.3 Saturday

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Jacob Falcon
Bad falcon racing: @BGCaligula, @Jacob Falcon
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@Jacob Falcon u are aware that after @BGCaligula failed ARLs mandatory testing for herpes since @Herimopp89 likes to run around naked taking leaks on @Neutty car and I even heard he left a big steaming pile of doodoo in @SAMHAIN85 car after finding out that not only did he never have a chance to win tonight against team death wish. That now the non existent chance of winning the overall was gone. We at ARL care about all our drivers so we must take action in preventing @Herimopp89 from getting the herps. Furthermore @BGCaligula will be sentenced to an entire season in the ferrari on CH tires and mandatory my Little pony decals for the duration of this season.
 
Jw_wk1010
@Jacob Falcon u are aware that after @BGCaligula failed ARLs mandatory testing for herpes since @Herimopp89 likes to run around naked taking leaks on @Neutty car and I even heard he left a big steaming pile of doodoo in @SAMHAIN85 car after finding out that not only did he never have a chance to win tonight against team death wish. That now the non existent chance of winning the overall was gone. We at ARL care about all our drivers so we must take action in preventing @Herimopp89 from getting the herps. Furthermore @BGCaligula will be sentenced to an entire season in the ferrari on CH tires and mandatory my Little pony decals for the duration of this season.
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@Jw_wk1010 theres a reason we’re called bad falcon racing and it’s not because we’re bad drivers. He has told me about these rumors going around and how it is all part of death wish to try and bring him down. The doo doo was him trying to get in sams head and I suspect that’s why he is now missing but I do have coordinates on his location and he will be back in time for the seasons start.
 
Breaking news

We interupt the usual race time and lobby assignments for this special bulliten.

Reporters here at team deathwish have received word that the infamous @Turdburgerlar was seen lurking around the paddock at catalunya this afternoon. $hi+ stealer as he is better known is rumored to be in the area to steal the big steaming pile of doodoo that was left in @SAMHAIN85 for none other than @Neutty. It is said that the teammateless wonder is actually such a secret closet fan of @Herimopp89 that he truely believes that he can pi$$ exellence and crap thunder that this pile of fecal matter may actually contain the secrets to @Herimopp89 success. It is even rumored that the teammate of Mr.mopp @TexasJDC who let's face it needs all the help he can get this season against team deathwishes bronze division driver @Nick Cannella. Even goes to the extremes of drinking a shot of the eledged excellence urine before every race. When asked about it the only thing @TexasJDC could say was it's sanitary and I like the taste. Through all this opening day drama team deathwish drivers @Jw_wk1010 and @Nick Cannella are very relaxed enjoying there deathwish coffee watching other drivers frantically try to find teammates. One of which was none other than @Neutty himself. Who dispite many requests has yet to find himself a teammate. We caught up with @Ryan Kirk who was one of many to be asked to team up with the driver who last season dispite having 790 alledged teammates could not get a single one to show had this to say. Why would I team up with that guy and have to carry the overrated upper division driver.
 
Tonight's competing teams: (There is still time to form. @Neutty is looking!)

GR3T.jpg
 
Press release from Lone Wolf Racing:

After intense negotiations Lone Wolf Racing has decided to join with BadHaz Racing for season 3 of the ARL Gr3 Series.

The new team will be known as Stepdad Racing (because we beat you and you hate us)

Because of the late merger Neuttys car reveal will be postponed due to it being in the paint booth at Wolf Racing Facility.

Eat fresh.
 
Extract:

"We've got the scoop! It seems that Cali's absence was due to talks taking place between his representatives, the camp of none other than @Jacob Falcon, along with this season's M6 GT3 major sponsor, gtplanet. Word from a source says a deal was struck and all parties are thrilled to be working together. Falcon will now be driving the #71 M6. We've got exclusive photos of the Bad Falcon machines.
ARL M6 71.jpg
Bad Falcon.jpg
 
We break into the normally scheduled thread to bring you breaking news. Reporting live down in Louisiana we are here where a levee has been topped by storm surge and is now flooding low lying areas. Located in this area is the racing team millennium falcon racing. We caught up with team principle Birdman Jones and he gave us some words. “ We were about to pack our trucks up to go to the airport to make our way to Spain. Some people asked why we would flip out during a hurricane and I told them we fly in any weather. But before we could leave the water started rushing down we lost out Lexus cars in the chaos. While we were in our building upset we wouldn’t be able to race in tonight’s race. While in our building we heard someone screaming for help when we investigated we found @BGCaligula when asked what he was doing there he told us he was transported there by alien tech by @SAMHAIN85 while having a discussion in the paddock. He told us it was a Discussion about him allegedly doo dooing in his car. He then told us that it was @Jw_wk1010 and death wish trying to ruin him. He then seen our situation and offered his second car that was already located in Spain. We graciously accepted and while doing so have struck up a partnership and have formed the team bad falcon racing. We are looking forward to taking these m6s to the championships and winning the bronze and silver divisions and also the constructors championships.” We asked if Cali had anything to say all he wanted to get back to the track so he could take same and jw down tonight. When asked if they’d wait for the storm to pass birdman jones Re-iterated that he’s the birdman baby he flies in any weather. We now return you to our regular scheduled thread
 
BGCaligula
Extract:

"We've got the scoop! It seems that Cali's absence was due to talks taking place between his representatives, the camp of none other than @Jacob Falcon, along with this season's M6 GT3 major sponsor, gtplanet. Word from a source says a deal was struck and all parties are thrilled to be working together. Falcon will now be driving the #71 M6. We've got exclusive photos of the Bad Falcon machines.
View attachment 835567 View attachment 835568
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He told the short story lol
 
BREAKING NEWS!!! With a very late entry a new team will be joining the ARL series. Performance motorsports syndicate racing (PMS Racing) will be trying its hand this season with new drivers and new cars. They hired the new comer turdburgler AKA "**** stealer" and veteran driver @Phlano099 AKA "father time". PMS Racing also stated they were very excited about this new season and feel confident that both drivers will be competitive and will have a very successful season and god willing bring home the construsters championship!
 
Turdburgerlar
BREAKING NEWS!!! With a very late entry a new team will be joining the ARL series. Performance motorsports syndicate racing (PMS Racing) will be trying its hand this season with new drivers and new cars. They hired the new comer turdburgler AKA "**** stealer" and veteran driver @Phlano099 AKA "father time". PMS Racing also stated they were very excited about this new season and feel confident that both drivers will be competitive and will have a very successful season and god willing bring home the construsters championship!
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Let’s hope the drivers don’t have PMS. If so a better sponsor would be Kotex, Stay Free, Tampax, etc etc etc. PMS Racing fits!
 
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