ICEYOU - clean driving in an anonymous environment is utopian - by which I mean it's an idle dream, a perfect world. We're not going to get that on the Internet - crikey, you can't get people to be nice even when they're right in front of you.
I hear what you are saying - or actually 'wanting' - a clean and safe environment to play in. How we get about trying to get there is another thing. To me - racing with friends is a solution. Obviously there are 'clean' rooms - I've heard of many.
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As for permanent damage, and oil changes, and all the other 'let's dress up and play' gizmos that Gran Turismo seems to be increasingly throwing at us - it seems that is way most games are going - in fact always the opportunity provided to create 'personas' for the player, behind the anonymity, and provide virtual workouts of one sort or another.
I can imagine some don't like this; there are long-time GT players who would much rather just boot up and race - either offline or online. Yet many others - also long time GT Players want more and more realism added in, from having the car wrecked to being able to throw their helmet.
In the end - it's all about options. If the game has options to shut off the role-playing, then . . . . but that's all another discussion.
Edit: I see
LMSCorvette has given you pretty much the same advice. Making your own room is also a good solution.