The NASCAR of Tomorrow and the Devel Sixteen gave me an idea:
1990 Life L190
Engine: 3.5L W12/3.5L V8
Output: ~450hp (if you're lucky) at ~12,000rpm
Transmission: 6 speed manual (again, if you're lucky)
Layout: Mid engine, rear wheel drive
Curb Weight: 530kg
0-60: ~3.5 seconds
Top Speed: 140 mph (estimated)
The Life L190 is widely regarded as the most pathetic car to ever attempt to get onto the Formula One grid. Its chassis was already a year out of date when they came to Phoenix for the 1990 US Grand Prix, having been commissioned by an Italian team called FIRST, who never made to F1.
The L190 was supposed to show off its 3.5L W12 engine, but unlike a conventional W-shaped engine, which has 4 banks of cylinders, Life's "F35" engine had 3 banks of four cylinders. Theoretically, it was meant to be as compact as a V8, but delivering the same amount of power as a V12.
How wrong they were. Their engine was estimated to produce only 450hp. Compare that against the ~700hp that Ferrari, Honda and Renault's engines were producing, and you can see where this is going. It had the durability of a chocolate teapot, and could barely complete a handful of laps before something went wrong. Couple its feeble power with a 530kg weight (making it one of the heaviest cars on the grid), the Life L190 could manage no better than 6th place during pre-qualifying, but was always at least 14 seconds off pre-qualifying, and was slower than F3000 cars at the same tracks. Its most embarrassing moment came at Imola, when driver Bruno Giacomelli took over 7 minutes to complete a lap, at an average speed of just over 20mph.
By the Portuguese Grand Prix, Life had given up on their own engine, and fitted a V8 from Judd instead. In a perfect example of their incompetence, the engine cover couldn't fit, and they failed to set a lap time. When they arrived at Jerez, the Judd V8 still couldn't save them from being 18 seconds off pre-qualifying pace. With no W12 to show off any more, Life did not make the trip to Japan and Australia for the end of the season, and their life support (pun intended) was switched off.