Spanking children

[Sniffs]

anghammarad: you forgot. America; instead of "land of the free, home of the brave", it's coming across as "land of the lawsuit, home of the conservative".

you also forgot the main piece of US history. America is conservative because the colonies it was formed from (that succeeded) were not to Europe's general taste. the Puritans, for example, bolted to the new world to get away from religious prosecution, and immediately started doing it themselves!. I'd think the whole world by now would have realized that the US rarely bends to the prevailing wind, and instead, leans INTO it. I think it's America's survival mechanism.

I think our resident Birdman, Gil, is a perfect example of getting it right! if i remember his age correctly, he is from when the balance point was finally achieved between "McCarthy" and "Hippie" extremes. unfortunately, Political Correctness and what I call "liberal Grandparents, right wing reactionary parents" has smacked the pendulum so far to the left that even nature's screaming HOLD it!.

I view a lot of things in this "pendulum metaphor" because I believe that a literall balance should be achieved to stabilise things so we can get on with the environmental repairs that need to be acheived to prevent the pendulum from rotting off.

 

[homeforsummer]

I do not, but I still fail to see why anyone would need to resort to physical punishment when it comes to bringing up your kids. There's simply no need, and the fact that so many defends it buy saying that their parents spanked them and it never hurt them is beside the point. You just shouldn't hit your children. Never.

You're still apparently missing my point. Which conveniently, Niky has summarised:

If you are using light physical punishment to dissuade negative behavior, then that's discipline. If you're beating the snot out of the kid because you're tired and grumpy, that's abuse.

^ This, I agree with.

It isn't about beating kids up, it's about discipline. Have you ever shouted at your kids? The sole difference between shouting at them and spanking them is emotional hurt rather than physical hurt. Taking away their toys? Same deal. As it is with any punishment for when a kid has done something wrong. You're essentially playing on their emotions as a punishment for something they've done.

It's a means to an end. As I've already said a few times, it's a very quick and effective way to stop them playing up. It shouldn't be the only punishment, and ideally you should have a chat afterwards about why they were smacked so that they realise why they got that treatment.

You're using the word "hit" like people beat the hell out of their kids. Some do, of course, but most don't. A quick smack on the arse leaves no physical damage. If you aren't actually harming your child then it's not some big, evil wrongdoing.

Same here, I was smacked across the FACE when I was bad though. Yes I think it is wrong, parents are there to take care of their children, if they do something wrong they don't have to spank them. Grounding and making them go up to their room is fine.

Getting hit across the face is probably a bit wrong, as well as a little dangerous. It strikes me as being done out of the parent's anger, rather than discipline.

Taking care of your child is about discipline as well as love, attentiveness and care. Discipline makes for a better human being as long as it's not over-enforced. And I disagree that smacking a child is over-enforcing discipline.

Also, note how I'm only advocating physical punishment in one form. If you're hitting a kid hard enough to leave a bruise or any lasting damage, then it ceases to become discipline and moves over onto abuse.

 

[Anghammarad]

It isn't about beating kids up, it's about discipline. Have you ever shouted at your kids? The sole difference between shouting at them and spanking them is emotional hurt rather than physical hurt. Taking away their toys? Same deal. As it is with any punishment for when a kid has done something wrong. You're essentially playing on their emotions as a punishment for something they've done.

It's a means to an end. As I've already said a few times, it's a very quick and effective way to stop them playing up. It shouldn't be the only punishment, and ideally you should have a chat afterwards about why they were smacked so that they realise why they got that treatment.

You're using the word "hit" like people beat the hell out of their kids. Some do, of course, but most don't. A quick smack on the arse leaves no physical damage. If you aren't actually harming your child then it's not some big, evil wrongdoing.



Getting hit across the face is probably a bit wrong, as well as a little dangerous. It strikes me as being done out of the parent's anger, rather than discipline.

Taking care of your child is about discipline as well as love, attentiveness and care. Discipline makes for a better human being as long as it's not over-enforced. And I disagree that smacking a child is over-enforcing discipline.

Also, note how I'm only advocating physical punishment in one form. If you're hitting a kid hard enough to leave a bruise or any lasting damage, then it ceases to become discipline and moves over onto abuse.

I'm afraid that we just have to agree to disagree because to me it _is_ abuse, not discipline. You just don't hit your child, it's as simple as that.

 

[homeforsummer]

I'm afraid that we just have to agree to disagree because to me it _is_ abuse, not discipline. You just don't hit your child, it's as simple as that.

Fair enough. I can't see this going anywhere. Though I do think you need to re-calibrate your definition of abuse. And you didn't answer my question about shouting, which could be considered equally "abusive".

 

[Peter]

It's legal to hit your child here, as a disciplinary act. I have to admit, I've gotten a few slaps before But they don't take it out of control slaughter of the child, just take a few slaps of the belt to the back or the buttocks, a wooden ruler to the hand.

 

[Picc84]

I grew up never expirencing this. But my father sure put the fear of god in myself and my sister. He never had a problem with us, because of the speeches (Actually scraemings, controlled mind you, screaming for effect) Just scared us so bad we never wanted to do anything. My sister was slaped across the face once, After screaming as a child in my moms face that she hates her and said streight to her ^$&# you, after hitting my sister my mother cried for a good 2 hrs...

 

[Perfect Balance]

I got spanked as a child. Even with a belt sometimes if I did something really bad. It was never beating though, and now that I've grown up, I'm glad it was done that way, I think I ended up a lot better than some people I know that never got more than a stern talking to.

I didn't do a lot of things I thought about doing growing up because I knew that if my parents got wind of it I was going to get my ass beat for it.

 

[Terronium-12]

I grew up never expirencing this. But my father sure put the fear of god in myself and my sister. He never had a problem with us, because of the speeches (Actually scraemings, controlled mind you, screaming for effect) Just scared us so bad we never wanted to do anything. My sister was slaped across the face once, After screaming as a child in my moms face that she hates her and said streight to her ^$&# you, after hitting my sister my mother cried for a good 2 hrs...

Had I done that to my mom I wouldn't be a member here right now.

 

[Anghammarad]

And you didn't answer my question about shouting, which could be considered equally "abusive".

I actually do not shout either, except when it's needed to be heard above the din that is the normal playing volume of a four year old.

 

[Picc84]

Had I done that to my mom I wouldn't be a member here right now.

Oh I know, if I ever pulled something like that now-a-days, My parents would end my life!