The General Relationship Thread
- Thread starter Type S Tony
- 5,254 comments
- 232,207 views
- 4,019
- Riga
Her mother died when she was young and so did mine I only found this out recently so we are very independent and probably put up lots of obstacles to avoid dating. We were both influenced a lot by grandparents and thats probably why we have conservative views. I can't find any other woman like her she doesn't like drama or pretentious rubbish she is always very kind and nice and respectful always ask how I am and likes to talk to me I think she is very rare kind of woman. I agree with her on a lot of things but with most other women I don't must be something special about her. I like to think we are the same in many ways.
- 11,127
- Central Coast, NSW
- Com_Fox5
- EelX 5
@AlvaroF @Team THRT Drift You guys were right, the issue kinda resolved itself. Thanks for the help 
I had a talk with a friend about this too and she also helped me through it and see how it wasn't exactly my fault as a lot of issues came from moments I had no control over, problem was that I didn't know how to cope in this scenario since it was something completely new to me. I was able to go through it though.
I had a talk with a friend about this too and she also helped me through it and see how it wasn't exactly my fault as a lot of issues came from moments I had no control over, problem was that I didn't know how to cope in this scenario since it was something completely new to me. I was able to go through it though
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- 6,694
- Mexico City
- MoLieG
Well... I'm about to hit a whole year being single.
Gotta say, I feel pretty damn good
All that sadness, all that pressure and everything bad and toxic from my 2 year relationship is gone. I am at peace.
Also, TBH I'm kind of glad nothing happened with Tinder and my co-worker. I wouldn't have been as nice or sweet as I was with... you know who... I wouldn't have given my 100%. I'm still not ready to open my heart to someone else again, but it's ok. I think I'll know when I'm ready to give it a go again.
Gotta say, I feel pretty damn good
All that sadness, all that pressure and everything bad and toxic from my 2 year relationship is gone. I am at peace.
Also, TBH I'm kind of glad nothing happened with Tinder and my co-worker. I wouldn't have been as nice or sweet as I was with... you know who... I wouldn't have given my 100%. I'm still not ready to open my heart to someone else again, but it's ok. I think I'll know when I'm ready to give it a go again.
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- 11,127
- Central Coast, NSW
- Com_Fox5
- EelX 5
Good for you man, keep it upWell... I'm about to hit a whole year being single.
Gotta say, I feel pretty damn good
All that sadness, all that pressure and everything bad and toxic from my 2 year relationship is gone. I am at peace.
Also, TBH I'm kind of glad nothing happened with Tinder and my co-worker. I wouldn't have been as nice or sweet as I was with... you know who... I wouldn't have given my 100%. I'm still not ready to open my heart to someone else again, but it's ok. I think I'll know when I'm ready to give it a go again.
👍
- 520
- Ohio
- Spitfiredwod_
Hey all, I've recently gotten out of a "relationship" with someone I once had a lot of feelings for. I considered them more than a best friend, but the relatinship we had wasnt all that good looking back.
I was lied to and led on and some of it is completely infuriating to think about, especially coming from someone who I thought wouldn't ever do things like that.
Honestly I wonder what on earth I was thinking having feelings for, and wanting to be in a relationship with this person.
Its been around 2 months since I stopped talking to them and I certainly dont want to contact them again, and for the most part I'm not super upset about it, but it still frustrates me a bit.
I've been talking to what few friends I've got with them about it, listening to lots of music, and have generally been doing things that I enjoy doing. Every once in a while, however, I get a little worked up about it because of how stupid it all was.
Any advice on how to move forward from here?
I was lied to and led on and some of it is completely infuriating to think about, especially coming from someone who I thought wouldn't ever do things like that.
Honestly I wonder what on earth I was thinking having feelings for, and wanting to be in a relationship with this person.
Its been around 2 months since I stopped talking to them and I certainly dont want to contact them again, and for the most part I'm not super upset about it, but it still frustrates me a bit.
I've been talking to what few friends I've got with them about it, listening to lots of music, and have generally been doing things that I enjoy doing. Every once in a while, however, I get a little worked up about it because of how stupid it all was.
Any advice on how to move forward from here?
- 3,835
- Leiria
I know exactly how you feel. But unfortunately for you only with time you'll move on. Just try to keep your head occupied. If you wanted do start a new hobby, now it's the time.
I'm studying for my finals, so I can't think of anything else, but eventually I'll pick up and learn to play guitar.
Yes, 2 player co-op. It's actually really fun.
-------------
As for myself, I've been also planning a trip to Belgium for 5 days and then go 2 weeks to the Netherlands in the summer. And because of that I've been talking more and more to a friend of mine that, in the back of my head, I always felt something for her. But the thing is, we suck at texting, we can't keep the conversation alive but when we're together we're super close. It's so wierd.
- 520
- Ohio
- Spitfiredwod_
I tried my best to keep this as short as possible, but still a bit of a long post so I put it in a spoiler.
Yeah, I understand. Really though, I just want to better myself after all this mess.
To give a bit of backstory, I had known this girl beforehand, we were freinds once a long time ago, but faded out of contact with eachother for reasons I'm still unsure of. Well way back then, I did have some feelings for them, but I never had the confidence to actually say anything.
Well, they suddenly they messaged me one day after 4 years of no contact, and initially I was glad to see them. We started talking again, hit it off really well, and things were great. I was happy to have them back, for a while, at least.
As stated above, I knew this person already, it had been a while, but still I thought that I had a half-decent idea of what I was getting into.
Well, I certainly underestimated that a bit.
I'd come to find out this girl was not in a state of mind that was as healthy as I thought it was. She had self harm habits, drank , and smoked. They also had major trust issues, as they would accuse everyone, even their best freinds or current partners, of something, be it lying, not caring about them, being unfaithful, anything she could think of really.
They were also quite stubborn and rarely ever took advice from anyone, even if said advice would save their life.
The final straw for me during all this was when she, get this, lied to me about how they were going to commit suicide and then used it to kickstart a fight, telling me to go f--- myself repeatedly.
Needless to say I took my leave and didn't look back.
I think the one area where I screwed up in all this was being a bit too forgiving about it. I knew she wasnt in the healthiest state of mind, and I wanted to help. I think thats what lead me to trying hard to stick around, it was just because I wanted to help, and because I didnt want to end up losing another person I felt attatchment to.
Even though I knew things werent all that great and I wasnt super happy having them around, moreso worried, I still stuck around because I wanted to point them in the right direction, a direction they completely refused to go in.
Man am I glad to be done with all that mess though.
To give a bit of backstory, I had known this girl beforehand, we were freinds once a long time ago, but faded out of contact with eachother for reasons I'm still unsure of. Well way back then, I did have some feelings for them, but I never had the confidence to actually say anything.
Well, they suddenly they messaged me one day after 4 years of no contact, and initially I was glad to see them. We started talking again, hit it off really well, and things were great. I was happy to have them back, for a while, at least.
As stated above, I knew this person already, it had been a while, but still I thought that I had a half-decent idea of what I was getting into.
Well, I certainly underestimated that a bit.
I'd come to find out this girl was not in a state of mind that was as healthy as I thought it was. She had self harm habits, drank , and smoked. They also had major trust issues, as they would accuse everyone, even their best freinds or current partners, of something, be it lying, not caring about them, being unfaithful, anything she could think of really.
They were also quite stubborn and rarely ever took advice from anyone, even if said advice would save their life.
The final straw for me during all this was when she, get this, lied to me about how they were going to commit suicide and then used it to kickstart a fight, telling me to go f--- myself repeatedly.
Needless to say I took my leave and didn't look back.
I think the one area where I screwed up in all this was being a bit too forgiving about it. I knew she wasnt in the healthiest state of mind, and I wanted to help. I think thats what lead me to trying hard to stick around, it was just because I wanted to help, and because I didnt want to end up losing another person I felt attatchment to.
Even though I knew things werent all that great and I wasnt super happy having them around, moreso worried, I still stuck around because I wanted to point them in the right direction, a direction they completely refused to go in.
Man am I glad to be done with all that mess though.
- 3,835
- Leiria
There was nothing more you could do but pull the plug on the friendship. I understand it hurts, but yeah as time moves on you'll meet new people and such and you'll be fine!
- 520
- Ohio
- Spitfiredwod_
A part of me wanted to just go in and argue back, telling her every single thing she was doing wrong, and what as wrong with her, I was so angry.
I sat back for a second and thought about it though, and I realised it likely wouldnt make a difference or make anything any better, so I just walked away.
Music, GTP, and other things have really helped keep me sane and I'm actually doing pretty good as of late. Its just good to get frustrations like this off my chest.
Hopefully I'll have a much better time with the next person I happen to like.
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- 3,835
- Leiria
Mate, I do really understand you. I went through something similar with my ex. I got so angry I wanted to call her out on everything she did (ok, I made a lot of mistakes as well, really loads of them) but it wouldn't change a thing. So just move on with it. It's a painful and slow process, but it has to be done.
I once destroyed a desk with an axe and an hammer and tore down a wall. That really helped with my frustrations.
We all want that
- 4,464
- Azle, TX
- supermanfromazle
- SanjiHimura
Well, I finally got around and got myself a girlfriend yesterday. After a poor joke about "Singles Awareness Day", her and I hit it off over Discord and we are slated to go on our first date next week.
She's a local girl too, so that's a bonus.
She's a local girl too, so that's a bonus.
- 2,227
- Bács-Kiskun
Guys, I need help!
So I have a friend who was a great friend a year ago, you could talk with him about cars, weapons, girls, etc., and now he's totally lost his mind. He watches those life-sucking animes* all day, and he now hates us (Me and my 2 other friends), because we said he should not watch that much of it.
He said we are schumbags because we believe in God, he wants us to believe that Lucifer from the anime is the only true God. He says that when he will die he'll become a demon with red eyes, wings, 2x power, and he'll be the servant of Lucifer, and he'll kill us. He always talks about Tokyo Ghoul, and he says he's starting to feel hungry whenever he sees blood, or chopped arms whenever he watches that. And he keeps showing us those toxic things on 9gag, and those fat nude anime girls, he always says: "THICC!" But we actually don't care about those, we told him, and he got upset again.
He always starts a war against us and against the teacher when we are in the school, he says that there is no heaven, only hell, which is much cooler (In my opinion maybe there is both heaven and hell, or both is just fantasy, since I'm not really a religious person).
My other friend said, those animes are just drawings, and aren't real, he (the former good friend) started to punch him.
What should we do? Should we leave him alone or do something about this problem?
*NOT all of them are bad, but some of them are pointless
So I have a friend who was a great friend a year ago, you could talk with him about cars, weapons, girls, etc., and now he's totally lost his mind. He watches those life-sucking animes* all day, and he now hates us (Me and my 2 other friends), because we said he should not watch that much of it.
He said we are schumbags because we believe in God, he wants us to believe that Lucifer from the anime is the only true God. He says that when he will die he'll become a demon with red eyes, wings, 2x power, and he'll be the servant of Lucifer, and he'll kill us. He always talks about Tokyo Ghoul, and he says he's starting to feel hungry whenever he sees blood, or chopped arms whenever he watches that. And he keeps showing us those toxic things on 9gag, and those fat nude anime girls, he always says: "THICC!" But we actually don't care about those, we told him, and he got upset again.
He always starts a war against us and against the teacher when we are in the school, he says that there is no heaven, only hell, which is much cooler (In my opinion maybe there is both heaven and hell, or both is just fantasy, since I'm not really a religious person).
My other friend said, those animes are just drawings, and aren't real, he (the former good friend) started to punch him.
What should we do? Should we leave him alone or do something about this problem?
*NOT all of them are bad, but some of them are pointless
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Obelisk
Premium
- 9,720
- United States
- RMedia_Obelisk
I...have no words for this. Wow, this dude has a major screw loose. I would distance myself from him if I were you, especially if he's throwing punches over an anime.
- 2,227
- Bács-Kiskun
- 8,844
- Ottawa
- Automotive_Buff
@TheNuvolari I don't know how old he is but I doubt all of this is due to an anime. Maybe he's got things going on at home and is just wanting attention; so far it's working I guess.
Try to talk to him. Or try to get him to the counsellor and talk as a group.
I highly doubt he means what he says. He just wants attention so what better way than to say something "controversial".
I bet you the second you "threaten" to talk to his parents about it, the tough guy cannibal act will drop.
Try to talk to him. Or try to get him to the counsellor and talk as a group.
I highly doubt he means what he says. He just wants attention so what better way than to say something "controversial".
I bet you the second you "threaten" to talk to his parents about it, the tough guy cannibal act will drop.
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- 8,844
- Ottawa
- Automotive_Buff
@TheNuvolari any updates on your friend?
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- 3,835
- Leiria
@Team THRT Drift you're going through some really tough times... And I can understand you somewhat, because it happened the same to me. Love turned into lust and some not-so-good traits from my ex surfaced a lot more than they should and yeah we just grew apart.
It can be tough to overcome such situations, I was completely destroyed emotionally for a couple of months. But now, after 6 months my grades are going up, I'll be studying abroad in Modena, Italy for a year and I'm dating again. I'm happier than I've ever been.
That's a big bump in the road, but be sure to keep foucused on your goals. Think about yourself first, put others in the background for the time being, be selfish. Rely on your friends, they're there to help. And remember these things happen all the time, no one is to blame, the only time you could blame someone is if their loyalty had been compromised.
Scream, cry, write for yourself what you are feeling (I find this very therapeutic), destroy stuff (I got hold of 2 old desks and a sledgehammer and destroyed both in less than 1 hour) there is so much you can do as an outlet.
One last thing: there is always something worth fighting for. As little as it is, there's always something
It can be tough to overcome such situations, I was completely destroyed emotionally for a couple of months. But now, after 6 months my grades are going up, I'll be studying abroad in Modena, Italy for a year and I'm dating again. I'm happier than I've ever been.
That's a big bump in the road, but be sure to keep foucused on your goals. Think about yourself first, put others in the background for the time being, be selfish. Rely on your friends, they're there to help. And remember these things happen all the time, no one is to blame, the only time you could blame someone is if their loyalty had been compromised.
Scream, cry, write for yourself what you are feeling (I find this very therapeutic), destroy stuff (I got hold of 2 old desks and a sledgehammer and destroyed both in less than 1 hour) there is so much you can do as an outlet.
One last thing: there is always something worth fighting for. As little as it is, there's always something
- 17,109
- United Kingdom
I find it somewhat depressing that my first post on the first page of this thread 7 years ago still reflects my current situation.
- 603
- Portugal
- Lilium_55
@Team THRT Drift as @AlvaroF said, Just be a bit selfish, vent out. hang out with friends when you're free, do stuff that you like.
time heals, and man, you still have a lot of time on your hands,
Every long relationship where you're really happy makes you feel like that other person was the one. I was on that boat as well a few years back. I got sad, my focus was way off. Had mood swings and was generally down. but with time it got better, and hanging out with friends, trying new things and plainly living out life got me to be married to a magnificent woman, who I love the bottom of my heart.
Just get through this, and you'll thank the experience and insight on yourself and relationships on a whole. We're constantly evolving. (hopefully
)
time heals, and man, you still have a lot of time on your hands,
Every long relationship where you're really happy makes you feel like that other person was the one. I was on that boat as well a few years back. I got sad, my focus was way off. Had mood swings and was generally down. but with time it got better, and hanging out with friends, trying new things and plainly living out life got me to be married to a magnificent woman, who I love the bottom of my heart.
Just get through this, and you'll thank the experience and insight on yourself and relationships on a whole. We're constantly evolving. (hopefully
)
- 898
- Scotland
- Gremlin100
@Team THRT Drift have you thought about sending her a link to this very post? (The one i quoted) Assuming you want her back, that's very heart-on-the-sleeve honesty.
Sometimes the written word says more than our voice can.
- 8,844
- Ottawa
- Automotive_Buff
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- 898
- Scotland
- Gremlin100
@Team THRT Drift a clean slate can be the best thing to start from sometimes. Been there myself and looking back, it was what i needed but couldnt see it at the time! I wish you the best. Not empty meaningless internet words but genuinely wish you the best.
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