zzz_pt
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- Porto living in Hamburg
- zzz_pt
I rarely open and read this thread. I did it a few times to post something about myself but since I broke up with my ex-gf after 9 years together, it's the first time I'm here because the thread just appeared on top of the section again. So, I was reading through it and came accross @Team THRT Drift post.
I just want to let you know that's normal and I think everyone who sincerely loves another person and, for some reason or another, loses that close relationship, everything you describe is just natural to go through. But the lines I quoted resonate with me in particular and I felt I shouldn't just let it slide and not say something in return.
I remember being 2500Km away from home (and my ex-gf) when some of those thoughts and emotions would go through my head time and time again. The best thing I could do when that happened was to go out and just walk without a particular destiny in mind, whatever hour it would be. When I was at work, my head was busy so I was able to go through the day quite normally. But after that and until the next day it was pretty bad. I would leave my flat at 2 or 3am, negative temperatures, and walk for 20Km without stopping. Just so my body would feel something intense and avoid the (dark) thinking process I would, more or less automatically, engage in if I was just sitting at home.
If you can, do exercise. Go to the gym. If you go through some of those thoughts in the middle of the night, go outside (if you live in an area where you can do it... When I was doing it, the threat of being robber or shot wasn't really a threat to me, since I wouldn't care if anything would happen, but as I'm talking to another person, I have to tell you that is not what one should do when being reasonable and thinking straight).
And just on the word "ridiculous" and the fact that you think that contemplating suicide is something ridiculous, I've learned quite the opposite. Only someone committed to life and a deep meaningful life for that matter will ever contemplate and reflect on suicide and what life is worth. Great thinkers and philosophers have spoken and written about it. And I'll suggest you a small chapter of a very good book on this topic.
I bought "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Albert Camus when I was going through some dark times and started reading on my first, last and only visit to a psychologist to talk about what I was going through. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I read the first chapter "An Absurd Reasoning". This chapter is about suicide and is just a masterpiece (at least that's what I think of it because, at the time I was reading it, it just made me think about myself and my thoughts on a completely different way). I didn't come back to that psychologist - not because she was bad, but because she didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. The book (and that chapter in particular) was the reason I didn't end up going back.
One of my favorite quotes from Dostoevsky's' Crime and Punishment goes like:
I know that you don't believe it, but indeed, life will bring you through. You will live it down in time. What you need now is fresh air, fresh air, fresh air!
Just keep you head above your shoulders. We all go down once in a while.
I just want to let you know that's normal and I think everyone who sincerely loves another person and, for some reason or another, loses that close relationship, everything you describe is just natural to go through. But the lines I quoted resonate with me in particular and I felt I shouldn't just let it slide and not say something in return.
I remember being 2500Km away from home (and my ex-gf) when some of those thoughts and emotions would go through my head time and time again. The best thing I could do when that happened was to go out and just walk without a particular destiny in mind, whatever hour it would be. When I was at work, my head was busy so I was able to go through the day quite normally. But after that and until the next day it was pretty bad. I would leave my flat at 2 or 3am, negative temperatures, and walk for 20Km without stopping. Just so my body would feel something intense and avoid the (dark) thinking process I would, more or less automatically, engage in if I was just sitting at home.
If you can, do exercise. Go to the gym. If you go through some of those thoughts in the middle of the night, go outside (if you live in an area where you can do it... When I was doing it, the threat of being robber or shot wasn't really a threat to me, since I wouldn't care if anything would happen, but as I'm talking to another person, I have to tell you that is not what one should do when being reasonable and thinking straight).
And just on the word "ridiculous" and the fact that you think that contemplating suicide is something ridiculous, I've learned quite the opposite. Only someone committed to life and a deep meaningful life for that matter will ever contemplate and reflect on suicide and what life is worth. Great thinkers and philosophers have spoken and written about it. And I'll suggest you a small chapter of a very good book on this topic.
I bought "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Albert Camus when I was going through some dark times and started reading on my first, last and only visit to a psychologist to talk about what I was going through. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I read the first chapter "An Absurd Reasoning". This chapter is about suicide and is just a masterpiece (at least that's what I think of it because, at the time I was reading it, it just made me think about myself and my thoughts on a completely different way). I didn't come back to that psychologist - not because she was bad, but because she didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. The book (and that chapter in particular) was the reason I didn't end up going back.
One of my favorite quotes from Dostoevsky's' Crime and Punishment goes like:
I know that you don't believe it, but indeed, life will bring you through. You will live it down in time. What you need now is fresh air, fresh air, fresh air!
Just keep you head above your shoulders. We all go down once in a while.
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