Top Gear: Post your Stig intros here.

[iceburns288]

Anyway, some say he once had a third hand sticking out of his belly button

 

[Seanman]

Some say that all his thinking functions are carried out by his toes, and his head holds a giant stereo. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

 

[el flexo]

Some say he can change gear with his tongue, and his hair is made of gravy, all we know is hes caled the stig.

three letters for this amazing post! LOL 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍

it's time to hand it over, to our tame racing driver;
some say, he appears in el flexo's avatar, and that he was once an ancient egyptian god, all's we know is, he's called the stig

 

[Randymcchickenf]

tree letters for this amazing post! LOL 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍

HA! thanks

 

[benzoboy]

Some say he can fly, others say he has no toes, all we know is, he's called The Stig

 

[el flexo]

some say, he's scared of diesel engines, and hell, spat him back out, all's we know is, he's called the stig

 

[CDailey]

Some say he can drive from the passenger side, others say he has no hands and he telepathically drives the cars. All we know is that he's called the Stig.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

 

[el flexo]

some say, he envys tv ariels, and that james may flees at the site of him, all's we know is, he's called the stig


james may has never mentioned the stig! ever!

 

[Mr. Boy]

Some say he can sneeze toothpaste out of his toes. Others say he has a pet chupacabra. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

And for those of you who don't know what a chupacabra is, click the following link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra

 

[el flexo]

now, it's time to hand the (car name) over to our tame racing driver.
some say, he drifts in his sleep, and in a previous life, he was jesus, all's we know is, he's called the sitg

 

[Mr. Boy]

Some say his laugh sounds like a broken accordion, others say he can fly using his ears. All we know is, he's called the stig.

 

[el flexo]

well, now its time hand over the (-car name-) to our tame racing driver,
some say, he has a USB port in his left nostril, and that his actions are carried out telepathicaly, by god. but all's we know is, he called the stig

this is what i think should happen from now on, the person posting shoulld always comment on the aboce stig intro, so i think mr.boy's post should get 7/10
then the next poster should rate mine, and so on and so forth.

what'ya think?

 

[Sting]

flexo's - 6/10


Well now ladies and gentlemen, its that time again to hand the Henessey Viper to our tame racing driver.....

SOME say that he has no face and that his hands are superconductive.... all we know is, he's called The Stig!

 

[el flexo]

sting's: six and a half out of ten

well, now it's time to hand the bugatti veyron over to our tame racing driver, some say he's married to a nuclear warhead, and that carbon fibre is his middle name, all's we know is, he's called the stig!

((that is my worst one ever!))

 

[donbenni]

Only a 5, sorry.

Well now it's time to hand over the VXR to our tame racing driver...

[Clarkson pauses with a tedious inevitability]

Some say he hosts a Danish talk show, and that he has an irrational fear of lettuce...
All we know is, he's called the Stig.

 

[Lee]

Thats a 6ish/10

So its time to hand over the (Insert car name) to our tame racing driver.

Some say he gives off carbon monoxide every minute, and that his diet consists of a Fiat 500R with HP sauce, all we know is he is the Stig!

 

[el flexo]

thats a 6 n a half/ 10

ill edit this post when i think of a good intro

 

[DQuaN]

0/10

Some say that he shaves with a chainsaw, and that he can climb the Eiffel Tower using just his lips. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

[el flexo]

8/10! very funny!

now, its time to hand the lamorghini diablo over to our house trained racing driver, some say he has go faster stripes on his back, and that he's the love child of god and an aston martin v12, but all's we know is, he's called the stig


thank god this thread is revived!

 

[CDailey]

Some say that he is machine, some say that he is in fact the very dingo that ate your baby. All We know is that he called The Stig.

 

[el flexo]

lol

 

[Sharky.]

List of the actual Stig intros:

He was born in space.
He forages for wolves at night.
He sleeps upside down like a bat.
His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
His skin has the texture of dolphins.
If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.
He is scared of bells.
He once punched a horse to the ground.
His politics are terrifying.
He lives in a tree.
He likes DragonBoarder.
He was raised by wolves.
He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.
He has no understanding of clouds.
His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.
He is confused by stairs.
He naturally faces magnetic north.
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
His heart ticks like a watch.
All his legs are hydraulic.
He can "accumbularate".
He appears on Japanese banknotes.
There's an airport in Russia named after him.
He is wanted by the CIA.
His breath smells of magnesium.
He can catch fish with his tongue.
His tears are adhesive.
If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
He is terrified of ducks.
His voice can only be heard by cats.
He has two sets of knees.
He can swim seven lengths underwater.
He has webbed buttocks.
He can melt concrete on contact.
He is more machine than man.
His heart is in upside down.
His teeth glow in the dark.
His favorite food is raw meat.
He has no age.
He blinks the other way.
He has acid for blood.
Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
He has a bionic arm.
He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
He has no fear.
Please say moshi-moshi, to Stig-san.
Dame Edna Everstig.
Stiggy Bird.
Das Stig.
Colonel Fotherington Digby-Stigby.
Mes dammes et monsieurs, dans le pleu, Le Stig

 

[Leonidae]

So its time to hand over the Nissan GT-R to our tame racing driver.

Some say, that he has ECU for a brain, and if you give him a Vauxhall Nova and tell him to drive around Nürburgring Nordschleife, he will pull a 7 minute lap.

all we do know is.. he's called the STIG!

 

[L8 Apex]

Now it's time to hand the Mercedes S65 AMG over to our tame racing driver...

Some say he chewed his way out of his mum's womb, and that the lint that collects in his belly button is radioactive. All we know is he's called the Stig!

 

[RICHARDO]

Wow! how is this thread dead!?

Some say he is really Stig Blomqvist, others say he's photosynthetic. All we know, he's called The Stig.

Keep this beast alive. 👍

 

[Leonidae]

So its time to hand over the Veyron to our tame racing driver.

Some say, that his movement makes the world spin, and if you'd put him in the dark room, he would glow.

all we do know is.. he's called the STIG!

 

[sar593]

Some say he reacts with water, and he knows all the internet. All we know, he's called The Stig.

 

[Omnis]

Some say, he can clog the internet. He's not a big truck. All we do know is... he's called the Stig (of Tubes!)

 

[Lowdog]

Some say that he once gave the Pope a noogie; and whenever someone shouts "The Jolly Roger!" while making whoopie, he gets four quid.

All I know is . . . he's called the Stig!

 

[Metar]

A 10 months gap between the posts.

I guess this is what brought it back to life:

http://www.autoblog.com/2007/11/29/sunday-sunday-sunday-lewis-hamilton-vs-the-stig/