Top Gear: Post your Stig intros here.

[Sum1s2pid]

Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Some say that his first name is Sum1, and that his last name is S2pid... all we know is, he stole his sig.

 

[The Bman]

Some say that he was found drinking from Niagra Falls, and that his first name really is, "The". All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

[Northstar]

Some say this thread already exists.

 

[Talon]

Does this thread have anything to do with GT5? Didn't think so.

I say we go on lockdown and get by with the members we have currently. 💡

 

[Falango]

Some say this thread already exists.

And that one is in the appropriate area too! Why does everyone think every topic in the world has something to do with GT5? Maybe I'll post some nuclear physics stuff in GT5............just because I want to.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Some say this thread already exists.

And that a moderator will move it when he sees the duplicate.

 

[tlowr4]

Some say his favourite actor, is Mel Gibson, and that he is so old, his social security number is one. All we know is he's not the Stig, but the Stig's Irish Cousin!

 

[Jujamun]

Some say he has a fetish for break pedals and that his mother is a Nissan micra

 

[millross]

Why did the other thread get closed and not merged into this one?

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Because the other one was about B-Spec Bob. And while both thread were essentially the same thing save for the name, I didn't want to cause confusion by merging them. At the same time, there wasn't enough to justify keeping them both open, so I closed the one about B-Spec Bob and kept this one open.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Some say he can paralyse a duck with a fart at a range of thirty paces ... and that he once traded Burt Reynolds enough plastic pink flamingoes to cover Northern Ireland for a single Maraschino cherry. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

[C6R GT2]

Some say he's your real biological father. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

 

[AOS-]

Some say he's climbin' through your window, some say he's snatchin' yo people up. All we know is, he's called the Stig, and you better hides yo kids, and yo wife.

 

[C6R GT2]

Some say he's climbin' through your window, some say he's snatchin' yo people up. All we know is, he's called the Stig, and you better hides yo kids, and yo wife.

ROFL. I just spit soda all over my computer monitor.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Some say he's French. Others say he is Canadian. All we know is ... he's not the Stig, he's the Stig's second cousin from Montreal - Le Stig!

 

[Lizard]

Some say he was killed by the presenters all we know is HE GOT FIRED.

 

[W3H5]

Some say he has more than 3 personalities and that he can consume pizza and beer like a pig consumes flesh, all I know is that Shem is slightly insane!........oh...er..sorry..the Stig.....not me.

 

[SuperShouden]

Some say that under his racing suit is Clarkson's evil twin that actually likes Porsche. And that he likes to hump the legs of dogs. All we know is...he's called the Stig.

 

[The Bman]

Some say that he was once married to a Formula 1 car, and that his helmet is his head. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

 

[W3H5]

Some say that he that he's allergic to light switches .......... and that he once dated a lady known as 'Joan of arc'. all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Some say that he is the true Lord ........and that Dunsfold Airfield is holier than Bethlehem, all we know is, he's called Lord Stig.

 

[pooonsa3264]

Some say he has a house on Mars and that he can drive from the trunk. All what we know is... he's called The Stig

 

[tankuroded]

Some says he is a level 41 B-spec driver. All we know, he's called The Stig.

 

[thesrdic]

It wasn't quite for the stig.. was for my palaeontology tutor (whos a pterosaur expert).. some say he wiped out the dinosaurs to allow terrestrial azhdarkid evolution

 

[MercilessOne]

Some say that he knows Victoria's Secret... and that his gentleman's sausage is always pointing north. What do we know is... he's called 'The Stig'!

 

[Jim Prower]

((Digs up some EPICALLY old threads from his home forum...))

"...Which means we must turn it over to our 'tame racing driver'.

Some say he once beat a Blue Tank Engine down a branch line, in a bus,

and, that he's never run the Isle of Man TT, because he can't ride a motorcycle.

All we know is...That's true by the way...

*laughs* All we know is, He's called The Stig!"

*Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson stand next to the 2014 Lobo TT-R4 after Jeremy's film about it.*

HAMSTER: "So, it's exactly like the Atom, only it doesn't try to tear your face off."

JEZZA: "Well, Lobo claim that it's actually a 'superbike' and that the Atom's more of a 'sports naked' or a 'streetfighter,' and that they really make a great two-car garage."

*crowd laughs*

HAMSTER: "Anyway, if it's a Superbike and it has more power, it should go faster 'round our track, right? And that means we have to hand it over to our tamed Racing Driver."

JEZZA: "Right...Some say that you can't take off his helmet...because it's his head..."

*Laughter*

JEZZA: "...And, that he's bewildered by Ducks, Railyards, and Lewis Hamilton."

*Whooooo!!!!!*

JEZZA: "All we know is he's called The Stig!"

*Pan to Stig banner, cut to TT-R4 on the start line*

By others:

"Fatman"

And now we turn it over to our 'tame racing driver'.

Some say he has a third eye under the helmet, and that he can tell you your fortune with a deck of Uno cards.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

And now it's time to turn it over to our 'tame racing driver'.

Some say he knows the cure to cancer, and that he recently beat out Denis Leary for the winning bid on a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps, an all-leather cow interior, and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.

All we know is, he's called 'The Stig'.

*FH (as Jeremy Clarkson) and Edwardo (As Richard Hammond) stand next to a 2009 Dodge Challenger R/T*

'JEREMY': "You stupid, fat, useless, stupid, short, tasteless pillock--"

'HAMMOND': "Are you quite done?"

'JEREMY': "No. Stupid, useless, moronic cat. There."

'HAMMOND': "You're just angry that I was able to convince Chrysler to let us have another go at it. Aren't you wanting to find out how it goes around our track?"

'JEREMY': "I know how it'll do around our track, and I'm only doing this to indulge you. So that means turning it over to our 'tame racing driver'. Some say he knows where Waldo is..."

*laughter from audience*

'JEREMY': "...And that he walks round his home with a cane made from the bones of Cthulhu's dimensional counterparts."

*Oohs and gasps from audience, followed by short laughter*

'JEREMY': "All we know is, he's called The Stig."

*pan to Stig Banner, cut to Dodge Challenger R/T on track*

'Gamemaster Anthony' Bault - ((Note, he's a massive crossover fanfiction writer, so...he took it in a different direction.))

SONIC: So...who are we taking about?
MARIO: I don't a know. I a heard he was a last seen onna the Jay Leno Show trying to sell his a scrotum for charity.
PEACH: That fell through, though. Something about a nasty rash and misuse of Micitin.
PROTOMAN: Wasn't this the same guy who drove so fast he actually lapped himself?
BASS: Yeah...problem with that was he had to do it again because he ended up in the Renaissance period, nearly got stoned for being a witch, and Doc Robinson complained he was stealing his schtick.
TAILS: Not much of a schtick...
LINK: Look...I heard he wanted to make a card out of cardboard to show it was viable...
ZELDA: Oh, Goddesses...he got an idea from an old Dan Ackroyd routine?
MEGAMAN: Yeah, and BOY was he ticked!
LUIGI: Daisy a told me he has an a aversion to a gouda.
SALLY: Actually, he hates all cheese.
KNUCKLES: Lactose intolerant?
SALLY: No...just hates the dairy industry.
AMY: Well...at least Cream's friend is safe.
ANTHONY: *walks in* Are you guys talking about...?
OTHERS: ...The Stig, yeah.
ANTHONY: Thought so...

and, now...new scenes from me.

SCENE: Jeremy and James May stand in front of an aircraft-inspired car I've drawn, but not scanned, the "Wittman."

CLARKSON: You know...This thing is the absolute nerdiest car I've ever seen.
MAY: Why's that?
CLARKSON: I mean look at the interior here...The speedo reads in kilos, Miles and knots. and there's that little thing that goes 'round the dial whenever you set the cruise...the flaps knob for the rear spoiler setting...It's just so...
MAY: Well that's the point, it's a Clubman-type car inspired by aircraft...
CLARKSON: I will admit one thing, though, and this is proof that it's a phenominal car...did you see how fast you were going in that film?
MAY: Why yes, it is rather quick...
CLARKSON: Any car that makes this man, James May, drive THAT quick...must be an absolutely wonderful car, and that means it's worth seeing just how fast it makes our Tame Racing Driver go.

*Clarkson turns to the camera*

CLARKSON: Some say, that he's the son of a 300SL, and that he likes going to airfields, because he thinks they're racetracks...

*laughter*

CLARKSON: Which is accurate for us and for Oshkosh in that film...anyway...He's called The Stig.

*quick pan to Stig banner, then cut to Wittman on the track*

 

[pooonsa3264]

Some say that when he sees a pretty girl, one of his legs gets longer. All what we know is, he's called The Stig

 

[stig's helmet]

Some say he drinks red bull despite already having wings and that his helmet is his actual face all we know is....you know the rest

 

[CasadoGT]

Some say God created him on the 7th Day, or that he created God. All we know is he's called the Stig

 

[AudiPro]

Some say he came out of the womb wearing his racing helmet but we do know hes called the stig

 

[Alex.]

Some say that his phone was hacked by News of The World, but all they could hear was morse code, and that he can stand on his own head, All's we know is, he's called the stig.