Depression and Anxiety Thread

  • Thread starter JohnBM01
  • 2,254 comments
  • 162,537 views
I'm not going to pretend I've stood on the edge as you have, but I've got fairly close, so what follows is anecdotal, but represents my thoughts on such things;

W3HS
I feel like I could never leave my pregnant wife behind and put that kind of sorrow on my family
Click to expand...

These are the kind thoughts you've got to cement into your mind. If you know that when you're thinking rationally you do care, then when you're in a position thinking "**** it, I don't care" it should be a good indication that you're not thinking rationally, and that the good bit of you is under attack from the bad bit of you - and when you're under attack you've gotta fight it, not embrace it. I know I've banged on about this before but I believe people have got to see things like this as an attack - to try and push it into the domain of the basic human instinct for survival.

Part of the problem with alcohol/drugs, is that you're attracted to the good bits that it offers, but with no/little self control to go with it, it invariably ends up being the bad bits that come to pass instead.. but, at least it's clear why it's hard to fight that urge (to me anyway). The other self destructive urges we can sometimes get often don't bring such habitually addictive positive elements with them, so they shouldn't be as difficult to mentally fight, or run away from.

I know what this took to manifest itself with me in the past, the hot precise tug of a razor doing non-lethal damage, to bring my mind back together, and put the good bit of me back in control. I also now have 7 or 8 reminders that I'll be wearing until I die, of the fact that I must always fight to be in control of my direction. Obviously this is a deeply personal reaction and I doubt many people who have self harmed would point to this as being their motivation. But, the key thing is building that basal trigger that puts you back in control - having a wife and child is a far more positive one if you can get it engrained deep enough...

... but in any case, it's about finding something that acts as a barrier to actually stepping over that edge.
 
Imari
I think what people who haven't experienced depression of that magnitude don't realise is that it can be totally rational.

Let's replace depression with pain for a second. One can fairly easily imagine a level of physical pain at which it would be rational to simply end your suffering. It makes even more sense when you've already been suffering this for some time, and it's unclear whether there's ever going to be a time when you are no longer suffering or if this is just what you can expect for the rest of your life.

People like to point out that it can't be that bad, or that it will always pass. They don't know what they're talking about. The reality is that it absolutely can be that bad. No one knows if it will pass. The truth is that depression compresses what you're able to deal with down so far that struggling through every single moment can be agonising.

It's a rational response to the unendurable to say "I've met my match and I'm done". This isn't at you specifically because I think you worded yourself fairly well, but in general I don't particularly like the responses that try to make it sound like it's irrational or to undermine what people are feeling as if it's incorrect. I'm not sure there's much that can be said when someone reaches that point other than "are you sure you're ready to give up, is there nothing else we can try that I can help you with?"

If people are ready to die, then they're adults and it's their life.
Click to expand...

Very well said, the whole thing certainly opened my eyes to it a bit. In the grand scheme of things it shouldn't at all be surprising that self harm (or worse) can be so rational, seeing as how wide the scope is for general perception (the fact that terrorists can think that they're doing good is example enough to explain that spread). Even if it's just for a period of time while in an altered state of mind, the fact that the thought/feeling is there in any state surely means that it's valid. Though I have sort of just rephrased what you said on second thought. :P

And with regards to people not understanding, this year I've seen myself sinking lower than I ever have, though when I first started sinking I thought it was as bad as I would get. Then it gets worse. It's easy for the unaware to think they know something if they haven't a clue, it's usually only when people start to truly feel it for themselves can they even begin to understand. I wouldn't say I was a depressed person, though I have had a very rough year where I haven't really felt like me or any of the things I do have any worth. With that I can't possibly understand what it's like for some of you guys who have battled it in a more severe way for much longer, but with what I know I can say my heart goes out to you, even if I don't really know what that means in a real sense. Just that I understand that I don't understand, maybe? Which in a grand scheme doesn't mean much.
 
Oh, that's awful in Australia. I don't care how depressed you are- injury and death are the extremes of depression, and help is DEFINITELY needed in these situations. I certainly hope that stat can get curbed in Australia.
 
I've been pretty happy for quite a while, to the point where I think I'm 'fixed' for the most part. However, over the past few days, I've suddenly become quite introspective and began evaluating my life in all areas. Thinking about missed opportunities, failed friendships, relationships, career prospects, things that could've been done differently. It hasn't dragged my mood down or anything, it's just left me slightly miffed. Like I've had an epiphany about something, but I don't know what that is.

I know that isn't really depression related, but I wasn't sure if anyone else has had moments like this.
 
People seriously, kinesiology!

I did three sessions and the anxiety is gone. I told my psychiatrist about this and she said that it could be part due to the meds and part due to the kinesiology. I have never felt this mental freedom since these kinesiology sessions.
 
Some of you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) for certain times of the year. If you tend to feel bad during times of cooler weather or something, try to find ways to deal any way you can.

As I always say- don't let depression win. We're all in the same fight, GTPlanet. So let's help each other out as best as we can.
 
Mostly I find I'm affected from New Years Day through till New Years Eve.. that's the days I struggle to get through the most.

Happy suicide season though everyone... Yay!
 
I can’t remember where I heard it, but supposedly there’s an increase in suicides during Spring. Perhaps it’s because of everything being bright and full of life, while a severely depressed person might feel the exact opposite.
 
Believe me when I say that it doesn't matter how a severely depressed person feels like whatever season it is.

The sentence doesn't sound right. Let me rephrase that.

Whatever season it is, it doesn't have any effect on a severely depressed person.
 
Last edited:
kikie
Believe me when I say that it doesn't matter how a severely depressed person feels like whatever season it is.

The sentence doesn't sound right. Let me rephrase that.

Whatever season it is, it doesn't have any effect on a severely depressed person.
Click to expand...

I have to say I disagree, seasons tend to bring with them social and economic changes, habit changes, and often work/school life can alter. These things can have an adverse or positive effect effect on quality of life, and part of living with depression is managing quality of life.

Winter brings with it some steep challenges for me. I'm never more likely to top myself than New Years Eve, and this has lead to some fairly extreme panic situations for me. 15 years ago I turned up to the pub on New Year dripping with my own blood, and I wasn't even sure why. I ****ing hate Christmas too, I'm in a difficult long distance relationship at the moment, and I know I'm going to end up being a dick to my family because I miss my girlfriend so much. It's difficult everyday, it's more difficult at Christmas. This isn't directly linked to depression but it's a kick in the head at a time when mental strength is required to keep on keeping on.
 
The holiday season around Christmas and New Year always gets me hard because of the relentless flow of alcohol. It’s a time of the year when an alcoholic can blend in with society because everyone is on the lash.

Unfortunately for me alcohol is one of my biggest causes of depression.
 
MatskiMonk
I have to say I disagree, seasons tend to bring with them social and economic changes, habit changes, and often work/school life can alter. These things can have an adverse or positive effect effect on quality of life, and part of living with depression is managing quality of life.

Winter brings with it some steep challenges for me. I'm never more likely to top myself than New Years Eve, and this has lead to some fairly extreme panic situations for me. 15 years ago I turned up to the pub on New Year dripping with my own blood, and I wasn't even sure why. I ****ing hate Christmas too, I'm in a difficult long distance relationship at the moment, and I know I'm going to end up being a dick to my family because I miss my girlfriend so much. It's difficult everyday, it's more difficult at Christmas. This isn't directly linked to depression but it's a kick in the head at a time when mental strength is required to keep on keeping on.
Click to expand...
I have to disagree as well. If I'm severely depressed, whatever season it is, it doesn't help at all. Not even social, economic, habit changes. When I'm severely depressed my brain chemistry is so messed up that all of these things you mentioned don't do anything. I think that other people with the same degree of depression will feel the same. I have encountered many severely depressed people in the hospital and always during the summer and they were, just as I, severely depressed (and other mental disorders as well).
When you have a depression as I have when I'm severely depressed, nothing but not even slightest help or whatever will help. Only one thing will and that is in my case SSRI medication, to get my brain chemistry back to normal levels. From September 22 and in 2017 I was severely depressed for the sixth time in my life. Also my paradoxical reaction to benzos made it even worse. I weighed only 58.5kg, the first 5 to 6 months of 2017 and I can tell you, nothing but not even beautiful sunny weather helped me at all. Battling every day these severe suicide feelings, as if my mind wanted to kill me but I refused, lost a lot of my muscle strength (going down the stairs was a challenge because my legs couldn't support my 58.5kg almost anymore), had these severe crying episodes every day for months, started to get phobias again, couldn't eat, had such severe panic attacks that I had to go to the ER A&E) numerous times. Not even to mention all the other physical stuff I had to go through during my depressions. That my friend are severe clinical depressions and nothing, not even buying a Porsche, having a harem of the most beautiful girls around me, not being in the sun all day long every day, not winning Euro millions would help at all. Not even 300mg Sertraline didn't do anything for a while.
I have been working out (mainly cardiovascular, stretching, and explosive strength exercises for many years but last year I didn't go to the gym for 9 months because it was not possible. Being amongst people, friends in the gym had an adverse affect. When I went to the fitness to tell them that I wasn't able to come anymore, I was panicking, crying and shaking all over the place.

So I disagree with your statement completely. I don't want to insult you but it seems that you have never experienced a severe clinical depression once. I'm not saying that you aren't depressed and that you didn't have had panic attacks because I'm sure you have (reading some of your previous posts proves that) but probably not even close to the depressions I had to go to in my life.

I agree with your statement when people are depressed. In that case it is possible to feel better when seasons bring social, economics, habit changes. But not when they are severely depressed.

It is to the severe depression post I reacted. In your case (social, economics stuff), depressed people are still functioning. I was not, not even the slightest.

It is partially genetics in my case because my mother killed herself when she was 49 y.o.. Being bullied for many, many years didn't do any good as well to my mental state.
 
Hey guys,

could somebody help me?

I would like to understand more about depression. One of my best friends has depressions. And lately they get worse.
For me, it is hard to understand, that nothing helps to beat his despression. No matter whether we do something very cool, something nice is about to happen, the sun is shining or we have beautiful wheather overall. I'm a very positive person and I can always motivate myself and enjoy even the smallest things in Life. that's why I would like to understand Depression more. But my friend doesn't want to talk about it. He just described it as clouds in his head which won't go away, no matter what you do. sometimes it only takes a few hours for his "clouds" to go away. But sometimes it takes weeks.

So what exaclty do you feel?
Does somebody know what he means with his clouds? And could you explain it?
Is there nothing what can motivate you or make you positive minded again?
What triggers the depression?
How can I help him as a friend to get over it or at least to make him understand that I'm there for him and that he should never commit suicide?
Is it genetically or was there probably something which triggered it?
 
Street Racer 77
So what exaclty do you feel?
Does somebody know what he means with his clouds? And could you explain it?
Is there nothing what can motivate you or make you positive minded again?
What triggers the depression?
How can I help him as a friend to get over it or at least to make him understand that I'm there for him and that he should never commit suicide?
Is it genetically or was there probably something which triggered it?
Click to expand...

Depression is unique to each individual and even then unique at different times.
Nobody can explain to you what your friend is feeling, most of the time it’s hard enough to put the feeling in words.

I could try to paint you a picture but I’d only be describing one of my numerous episodes which may be completely off the mark.

There are too many answers to your questions that I wouldn’t really know where to start but its often a chemical imbalance in the brain.
 
@kikie

Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting that a nice sunny day makes peoples problems go away. I'm certainly not about to tell you you are wrong based on your experiences but I think we're seeing things differently.

It think the principle I'm talking about relates mostly to this...

kikie
Battling every day these severe suicide feelings, as if my mind wanted to kill me but I refused,
Click to expand...

At whatever level someones depression is, I believe this ability to battle, and to refuse is a reflection of what level of quality of life we've managed to maintain. Like I say, I know a sunny day isn't a cure, but not being freezing cold alone in a dark house might be one less thing to erode your state of mind and your ability to maintain enough perspective to want to fight. The closer we get to hopelessness the less we can rely on our survival mechanism.

This is of course, just my opinion.
 
MatskiMonk
being freezing cold alone in a dark house
Click to expand...

Oh, hey! My first foray into depression began in my cold, dark, lonely house (down the dark, dark street, in the dark, dark suburb of the dark, dark capital city*). Ah, the memories.

I can't even take my own condition seriously anymore.

*10 points for anyone who gets the reference.
 
MatskiMonk
At whatever level someones depression is, I believe this ability to battle, and to refuse is a reflection of what level of quality of life we've managed to maintain.
Click to expand...
It is my personality, my willpower, not life quality that makes me to get out of these depressions. There is something inside my mind that always tries to find a solution. The day I stop fighting and try to find solutions is the day I give up and probably die.
It is very possible that a wealthy person commits suicide while a homeless person keeps on fighting day after day. It is all about how one's brain function and his/her personality and willpower to fight back, not the quality of life. A good quality of life could make the fight a little easier though but that is it. But is definitely not the deciding factor.

MatskiMonk
Like I say, I know a sunny day isn't a cure, but not being freezing cold alone in a dark house might be one less thing to erode your state of mind and your ability to maintain enough perspective to want to fight. The closer we get to hopelessness the less we can rely on our survival mechanism.

This is of course, just my opinion.
Click to expand...
This opinion sounds to be a very good opinion.
 
I feel like my life is not my own. I can't remember the last time I could enjoy a day to myself, to do just what I want. Just one day. I don't even have a job, yet all of my time is swallowed up. A lot of my own responsibilites are being neglected because I don't have the time or energy after everyone's had their piece of me.

I'm starting to feel smothered. My family grew to the breaking point before I had the chance to establish a life of my own, and I've been picking up the slack for everyone for too long. I'm starting to get sick. My dad died three weeks ago. Lung cancer. It had been the most exhausting five months of my life. Now that he's gone and we've grieved, I hoped things would settle down. I began to think of things I need to finish and square away, but no. Every day there is something else. My sister with too many kids and too much on her plate. My brother with custody issues against an insane hag, causing him to drink more than he should.

Most importantly, there is my mom who no longer can remember anything for more than ten seconds. She was my priority before my dad got sick, and will once again be the center of my attention. But first I need to unwind desperately. I'm a ball of nerves. My sister took her opportunity to get away, and conveniently I'm always home so naturally she can count on me to pick up her kids from school and take them to get costumes TWO DAYS before halloween. Must be nice to ditch all of your issues onto someone else. I've never known that luxury. I'm the bottom of the foodchain, the youngest with no kids of his own. The one with nothing better to do, I guess.
 
UnkaD
I feel like my life is not my own. I can't remember the last time I could enjoy a day to myself, to do just what I want. Just one day. I don't even have a job, yet all of my time is swallowed up. A lot of my own responsibilites are being neglected because I don't have the time or energy after everyone's had their piece of me.

I'm starting to feel smothered. My family grew to the breaking point before I had the chance to establish a life of my own, and I've been picking up the slack for everyone for too long. I'm starting to get sick. My dad died three weeks ago. Lung cancer. It had been the most exhausting five months of my life. Now that he's gone and we've grieved, I hoped things would settle down. I began to think of things I need to finish and square away, but no. Every day there is something else. My sister with too many kids and too much on her plate. My brother with custody issues against an insane hag, causing him to drink more than he should.

Most importantly, there is my mom who no longer can remember anything for more than ten seconds. She was my priority before my dad got sick, and will once again be the center of my attention. But first I need to unwind desperately. I'm a ball of nerves. My sister took her opportunity to get away, and conveniently I'm always home so naturally she can count on me to pick up her kids from school and take them to get costumes TWO DAYS before halloween. Must be nice to ditch all of your issues onto someone else. I've never known that luxury. I'm the bottom of the foodchain, the youngest with no kids of his own. The one with nothing better to do, I guess.
Click to expand...

What methods do you use to relax?
 
Talking about nerves. Last week, I was at the end of my wits. Thursday evening, I started to feel very dizzy, exhausted and everything was spinning around me. I should have stopped with what I was doing and get some rest but instead I kept doing what I was doing.

The next morning when I woke up and sat up in my bed, everything started spinning again. I had to call the doctor for test result (father) and told my doctor what I was feeling. He said that it was probably from exhaustion and excessive stress (due to the condition my father is in and I'm all alone to take care of him) and my body completely out of balance.

Luckily the dizziness went away and I'm doing things much slower now.
 
Dan
What methods do you use to relax?
Click to expand...
I used to draw. I had hopes of my own online comic to make some money while at home. I have this long sci-fi fantasy sort'a epic bubbling in the back of my mind. That or uploading game videos or streams. Couldn't really think of a solid format as I'm not the most chatty person when playing, and I can't fake excitement and energy like all the ones I see the kids watch.

Lately I haven't really had time to do either. Just a couple cheesy phone games I got hooked on. The distraction is nice. That and browsing these forums. Although some arguments in a few threads can be stressful to read.:lol: In any case I really appreciate this site being here, and simply writing out my thoughts in this thread is a good outlet.

I was just particularly frustrated last night because the funeral and reception coincided with my nephew's birthday. With alcohol always being a prime ingredient with these things, stupid scenarios always seem to boil up when they didn't need to. I never drink, due to my observations of what it does to friends and family, so sober me always plays clean up.

kikie
He said that it was probably from exhaustion and excessive stress
Click to expand...
After my experience I hold caregivers in a new light. The stress is far more real than I could ever had predicted, especially if the one in care is verbally abusive. It can really drag a person down. Whatever your situation is like, I hope you stay strong for them and yourself.
 
Last edited:
Oh dear, alcoholism caused by depression (and vice versa) are getting me in deeper and deeper waters. I’ve missed 2 days of work and have been reported by my department manager, most of my family do nothing but lecture me if they haven’t given up on me already, my wife is putting on a brave face but I know it’s getting to her and my body and mind are very close to giving up all together.

It doesn’t seem real, like all the destruction I cause is happening on a tv show or in a different reality.
 
W3HS
Oh dear, alcoholism caused by depression (and vice versa) are getting me in deeper and deeper waters. I’ve missed 2 days of work and have been reported by my department manager, most of my family do nothing but lecture me if they haven’t given up on me already, my wife is putting on a brave face but I know it’s getting to her and my body and mind are very close to giving up all together.

It doesn’t seem real, like all the destruction I cause is happening on a tv show or in a different reality.
Click to expand...
What have you tried for the depression and alcoholism?

It doesn't work for everyone but high dose Baclofen can be good for alcoholics trying to cut down. Probably won't affect your depression however.
 

Similar threads

TexRex
The Soft Drinks Thread
2
Replies
50
Views
4K
Hollow
Hollow
Il_Conte_Sky
my Gran Turismo Depression Arc
Replies
22
Views
3K
syntex123
syntex123
Liquid
The Sleep Thread
Replies
20
Views
2K
shadow0460
S
Com Fox
  • Poll
Representation in media. Is it important?
Replies
21
Views
2K
TexRex
TexRex
Daniel
GTPlanet vs. Mariah Carey [2024]
6 7 8
Replies
234
Views
12K
RACECAR
RACECAR

Latest Posts

Back