So, I don't know how to frame this post exactly, but...I have anxiety of some sort. Not really depressed, although I wish I was doing better.
Let's just say, I feel like I don't belong. GTPlanet is the only forum I visit, otherwise it's just Discord and the few friends I have there. No IRL friends to connect with. I find it extremely tough to try and join new communities, and because of past experiences, dating back 10 years, I'm always hesitant to do so. Even if the community itself is nice and is welcoming, I might feel like I'm not a part of it.
I also don't have a favourite YouTuber/streamer to connect with either, so I'm ultimately just a lone wolf in every sense of the word. I am introverted in real life, but online it's naturally easier to connect and open up, but I've begun to shelter myself more and more. For me it's also imperative to have plenty in common to properly connect, which makes it all the more tougher (yes, I am on the spectrum).
Figured I would post here as a way to vent, didn't wanna keep it bottled up. I've been thinking about saying something, but I didn't feel the need to, until now. Oh, and despite me registering in 2015, I didn't actually start actively visiting until GT7 came out. I also haven't connected with anyone here, not really, but I should probably keep an eye on The Rumble Strip from here on.
That's about all I can think of (without writing a life story). Thanks for reading.
I wouldn't mind racing in GT7, but that requires PS+, and due to generally only being able to support myself with the money I have, I'm not prepared to subscribe, especially when it would only be for one game. Thanks Sony for raising the prices, too! I have not looked into GTPlanet's offerings yet, as I'm not sure if there would be any league/community that would be the one for me. Even then, pay to play. 🤷♂️
Hi. How are you feeling now? I hope you're in a better place than when you posted this.
It takes so much to make a post like yours and I hope it has empowered you. This thread is full of people who try to be there when needed. Well done for feeling able to speak out.
With the all too sad passing of John last weekend, it's very important that everyone remembers and continues John's sage wisdom, and that we all together take on John's mantle going forward.
Remember always, don't let depression and/or anxiety win.
@JohnBM01 passing away has hit me as hard as it did when Steve (@FoolKiller) passed away.
John always sent me messages to wish me a happy birthday, when the Oakland Golden Grizzlies won, when any Detroit sports team did well, when I got a new car, and even when my son was born. I always looked forward to his sports write-ups since he always tried to include something about the regular contributor's favorite teams.
It's weird. I never met him in person, only ever chatted with him online, but he was definitely a friend and I miss him. I was happy to see in his goodbye thread that so many other people saw John's kind, caring, positive attitude. That's the kind of mark you typically hope to leave and one that, for a time at least, carries on your memory.
Back in the mid-2000's, I used to get depression when students got better grades than me in English, Social Studies or Math class. My self-esteem was low because I thought I didn't have the knowledge that they did. So I came home every night and listened to peaceful relaxing music to calm me down.
Thats what I do every day after work, the problem is that I recently realized thats ALL I do anymore. I work, come home, do cooking, feed my cats and do a little cleaning and then I listen to music for three hours straight and then go to sleep. On weekends I literally just sit and listen to music for 5 hours and more. I stopped doing all the stuff I used to do after work and feel zero motivation to do anything.
My job is very stressful, I'm not sure if its that or a side effect of Lunesta or Ambien I am taking every night.
Thats what I do every day after work, the problem is that I recently realized thats ALL I do anymore. I work, come home, do cooking, feed my cats and do a little cleaning and then I listen to music for three hours straight and then go to sleep. On weekends I literally just sit and listen to music for 5 hours and more. I stopped doing all the stuff I used to do after work and feel zero motivation to do anything.
My job is very stressful, I'm not sure if its that or a side effect of Lunesta or Ambien I am taking every night.
I’ve been zoning out to music a lot myself as of late. Unfortunately, my music tastes have started to mirror my mental state. It makes me not want to listen to it because I feel it reinforces my existentialism, but ****, it’s cathartic after a rough day, like it justifies the madness.
This has been a favorite of mine lately (relatively new to Interpol):
I do feel like I’m starting to slip away into a dark place… and I’m pretty ****ing scared
Guys, the GTP is the corner of the internet I visit the most. Funny how in a moment of anxiety and sadness and uncertainty about the near future, one decides to share his thoughts and feelings in an internet forum....
But that's how welcoming this site is (feels to me) and.... I have nobody else to share what I'm feeling right now....
I've been feeling depressed and unhappy for a while. GT7 and video games in general they became my escapism path. I haven't seen a physcologist so I can't say I have the diagnosis, but I feel down, sad, worried with an empty void inside. That's how I feel. It has been a while....
Life were just about to get a little bit better since I'm moving into a new job. But then I found Mrs. Wife and I talking divorce. The pain in my heart is caused by the idea of getting away from my 9 years old daughter. Just the idea of missing her and not seeing her growing...it just kills me and throws me down in a bad place in my mind.
I feel sad, uncertain and can't imagine not having my baby girl around.
Guys, the GTP is the corner of the internet I visit the most. Funny how in a moment of anxiety and sadness and uncertainty about the near future, one decides to share his thoughts and feelings in an internet forum....
But that's how welcoming this site is (feels to me) and.... I have nobody else to share what I'm feeling right now....
I've been feeling depressed and unhappy for a while. GT7 and video games in general they became my escapism path. I haven't seen a physcologist so I can't say I have the diagnosis, but I feel down, sad, worried with an empty void inside. That's how I feel. It has been a while....
Life were just about to get a little bit better since I'm moving into a new job. But then I found Mrs. Wife and I talking divorce. The pain in my heart is caused by the idea of getting away from my 9 years old daughter. Just the idea of missing her and not seeing her growing...it just kills me and throws me down in a bad place in my mind.
I feel sad, uncertain and can't imagine not having my baby girl around.
This sounds like an understandable reaction to your situation, though you might be suffering more than "normal". Is there anyone you can trust to talk to about this (a close friend who won't "take sides" between you and your wife maybe, or failing that your doctor or anyone else who would be an impartial ear?). It's a difficult first step, but if you can open up to someone it should help.
This sounds like an understandable reaction to your situation, though you might be suffering more than "normal". Is there anyone you can trust to talk to about this (a close friend who won't "take sides" between you and your wife maybe, or failing that your doctor or anyone else who would be an impartial ear?). It's a difficult first step, but if you can open up to someone it should help.
I have a pair of good friends, but I think they would be anything but unbiased. Boys supporting boys, if that makes sense. Family would be supportive I reckon, but on the other hand I guess I need guidance and reasoning.
Few years ago I was feeling as sad as I'm now and I had a break down. One of these friends I mentioned took me to a physcologist, I regret immensively not carrying on with the therapy.
I have a pair of good friends, but I think they would be anything but unbiased. Boys supporting boys, if that makes sense. Family would be supportive I reckon, but on the other hand I guess I need guidance and reasoning.
Few years ago I was feeling as sad as I'm now and I had a break down. One of these friends I mentioned took me to a physcologist, I regret immensively not carrying on with the therapy.
One of the best things I've done for myself is finding and keeping a therapist. Having someone to help you wade through when things are tough who can explain the why and the what is an amazing thing. Good luck to you, sir. Perspective is so hard when one is in the middle of it all!
I feel horrible. I picked her at school and we went out for lunch.
I took my daughter to her favorite restaurant, I felt dirty because she was happy to go out, out of the blue in the middle of the week, but little she knew what I had to share with her. We ate, we went window shopping, I bought her favorite dessert and some stationary stuff that she loves.
I drove her back home and we talked. I tried to keep the marriage shenanigans out of the loop. I streesed out that my love for her and our father/daughter bond is not meant to be changed or broken. I tried to use simple sentences and held my tears as long as I could. But I failed. We cried. She gave me the tightest hug ever...
It hurts me to remember what just happened, seeing her crying as I left. Today was one of the worst days of my life.
My heart is broken, a piece of my life (the best one) is away from me now.
I feel horrible. I picked her at school and we went out for lunch.
I took my daughter to her favorite restaurant, I felt dirty because she was happy to go out, out of the blue in the middle of the week, but little she knew what I had to share with her. We ate, we went window shopping, I bought her favorite dessert and some stationary stuff that she loves.
I drove her back home and we talked. I tried to keep the marriage shenanigans out of the loop. I streesed out that my love for her and our father/daughter bond is not meant to be changed or broken. I tried to use simple sentences and held my tears as long as I could. But I failed. We cried. She gave me the tightest hug ever...
It hurts me to remember what just happened, seeing her crying as I left. Today was one of the worst days of my life.
My heart is broken, a piece of my life (the best one) is away from me now.
I have no idea how it works in Brazil, but can you fight for joint custody of your daughter? Here in the US, as long as you aren't a complete deadbeat parent, the courts will award you some custody of your children. It's not the same as seeing them every day, but it still allows you to have a meaningful relationship with them and be a presence in their life.
I have no idea how it works in Brazil, but can you fight for joint custody of your daughter? Here in the US, as long as you aren't a complete deadbeat parent, the courts will award you some custody of your children. It's not the same as seeing them every day, but it still allows you to have a meaningful relationship with them and be a presence in their life.
Sharing custody seems it won't be a problem between me and her mother. Amongst the many bitter ends in our relationship this I believe it won't turn into trouble. At least this is a topic we ended in some good terms.
Missing the everyday stuff is what kills me now, having a schedule to see the kid and spend time with her sounds unnatural. But it is what it is.
You can really work on making the time you do have more meaningful. I was a weekend dad for most of my children's life and I definitely was not perfect and still am not, but I'm certain my kids would tell you they didn't miss out on much.
It doesn't happen quickly, but you'll find your groove.
You can really work on making the time you do have more meaningful. I was a weekend dad for most of my children's life and I definitely was not perfect and still am not, but I'm certain my kids would tell you they didn't miss out on much.
It doesn't happen quickly, but you'll find your groove.
While things may not have worked out between you and your wife, remember the value in this here..
Your daughter LOVES you.
I can see through what you've said here that you really valued your relationship with her, and it shows - you seem like a fantastic father, and I really, really hope you're able to maintain a positive presence in her life.
Today I feel the guilty taking over me, there are moments I'm all sadness and there are moments I'm all guilty.
The divorce talk rose up after another one of our arguments, then things followed its course.
I feel guilty because I feel like the price of this divorce is being paid by my daughter. Me, being out of the house gets her to be sad too and God knows I don't want her to suffer or be sad. Seeing her crying yesterday was a stab at my heart.
I take comfort on what @330_D shared about making the time I'll have with her count and there's a moment when things find their groove, which I think it's when the "new normal" is well established. I know time will pass, things will find their way but, Jesus.... It hurts.
Today I feel the guilty taking over me, there are moments I'm all sadness and there are moments I'm all guilty.
I don't think I have the right to expose much of my marriage problems however I can say I wasn't happy and neither full in life for a long while. Sad, lacking energy and disposition to live would describe me very well. Hence my idea I may have depression. And I can say the same goes for the lady.
The divorce talk rose up after another one of our loud arguments, then things followed its course.
I feel guilty because I feel like the price of getting loose from this bad marriage is being paid by my daughter. Me, being out of the house gets her to be sad too and God knows I don't want her to suffer or be sad. Seeing her crying yesterday was a stab at my heart.
On the other hand me as a grown adult, I am entitlled to be happy and for that to happen I had to walk away from what was dragging my life down. But at what price? My daughter's tears? I feel guilty...
I take comfort on what @330_D shared about making the time I'll have with her count and there's a moment when things find their groove, which I think it's when the "new normal" is well established. I know time will pass, things will find their way but, Jesus.... It hurts.
If **** gets too much, feel free to give me a call. Reach me on PM if necessary.
I’m happy to give time to chew the cud and offer some kind of therapy, within reason. Though I’m not qualified, I am especially good at one to one chats that may be necessary to clear one’s head.
Please don’t detail the intricacies of your divorce here, this is not the place, for your own sakes.
If you are struggling with comprehension of your current situation, shout us out. We’re not strangers to suffering and troubled times.
