Do You Have A Potty Mouth?

[polysmut]

Yes definitely, although only in front of people who don't mind.

On here, obviously not.

On PSN, I did once say "I can't see s**t" but normally no.

 

[Slash]

And did it help. Did you win more often?

No damnit!

 

[Exorcet]

I think about profanity as a taboo; I don't want to pronounce it nor even think about it. If I do say it, I feel like I did something inappropriate that blackens image of me regardless if someone is around or not. Sense of guilt is always present at that moment and it takes some time for it to fade away.

They're just words. There is nothing inherently bad/wrong about them. If people take offense, it's on them. If you annoy people by purposely trying to offend them, that's on you. The words themselves don't really do anything though.

 

[TB]

After a quick search, I've use the censored smiley 200 times in the last 4 years.

 

[Dennisch]

After a quick search, I've use the censored smiley 200 times in the last 4 years.

How the 🤬 do you do such a 🤬 search?

Edit.

Duh.

I should use the search more often.

 

[starknight97]

Yep. There are many censored words in many of my crappy posts on GTP that I had to edit out afterwards. I'm also like this in real life sometimes especially when I'm in a bad mood.

 

[Slash]

After a quick search, I've use the censored smiley 200 times in the last 4 years.

I still have 10 points for using too many of those smileys in a rant from you once

 

[Matej]

They're just words. There is nothing inherently bad/wrong about them. If people take offense, it's on them. If you annoy people by purposely trying to offend them, that's on you. The words themselves don't really do anything though.

Strong point. I've encountered numerous situations both here on GTP and in real world where individuals would get offensive by my words even though nobody else would. Why should I be responsible for flaws in other's interpretation ?

However, in general I disagree with the quoted statement.

Social convention says that words do have meaning and that profanity is always inappropriate. People who go against that will just end up conflicting with others and eventually get rejected by environment.

 

[TB]

I still have 10 points for using too many of those smileys in a rant from you once

You mean the things that built up to this? Yeah, didn't remember that.

 

[Exorcet]

However, in general I disagree with the quoted statement.

Social convention says that words do have meaning and that profanity is always inappropriate. People who go against that will just end up conflicting with others and eventually get rejected by environment.

That is just one social convention. Profanity isn't always inappropriate, if it was it wouldn't be used intentionally by so many groups. What might be closer to universally inappropriate is not taking the target audience into account when using profanity. The words are considered off limits in a polite situation because they lack a well defined meaning. In tighter circles, it's the opposite, and words can take on very specific meanings though those meanings might go unnoticed to people outside the specific social circle.

It's interesting that you bring up exclusion through cursing, as I think it can work both ways. I don't curse and this has sometimes distanced me from other people as they tend to think I'm overly polite. They'll hesitate to use their normal casual speech when interacting with me perhaps because they think I'll take offense at it or feel uncomfortable. In reality, that's not really true.

 

[JMoney]

I use curse words the way I think they should be used: for emphasis. It's pretty rare I curse, but when I do it's because I need to be taken seriously. If someone curses too much, then people may look down on them, which isn't something I want.

 

[Matej]

That is just one social convention. Profanity isn't always inappropriate, if it was it wouldn't be used intentionally by so many groups. What might be closer to universally inappropriate is not taking the target audience into account when using profanity. The words are considered off limits in a polite situation because they lack a well defined meaning. In tighter circles, it's the opposite, and words can take on
very specific meanings though those meanings might go unnoticed to people outside the specific social circle.

Could you give me an example of such situation ? I will reply on this but I want to be sure I don't misunderstand something.

It's interesting that you bring up exclusion through cursing, as I think it can work both ways. I don't curse and this has sometimes distanced me from other people as they tend to think I'm overly polite. They'll hesitate to use their normal casual speech when interacting with me perhaps because they think I'll take offense at it or feel uncomfortable. In reality, that's not really true.

Agree, it could work both ways but to be honest, there are much lower possibility a person will get rejected because it is overly polite than when acting inappropriately by using profanity.

 

[Exorcet]

Could you give me an example of such situation ? I will reply on this but I want to be sure I don't misunderstand something.

It's basically any situation where a smaller group is using words or phrases that wouldn't mean anything (or mean something completely different than intended) by other groups. On this specific subject, you could think of it as something like memes involving profanity.

"You're a ___" would be taken by most people without context as an insult, but a group of people could see it as something that isn't negative at all. I guess one specific example might be usage of the N word. It's generally considered negative and racist, but some people do not use it in such a way at all.

 

[titleguy1]

I try not to, but sometimes 1 or 2 slip by.
That said, when I'm joking around with friends, my mouth suddenly forgets anything that's nice and comfy, and the goes to the 🤬 mode.

 

[Slash]

It's basically any situation where a smaller group is using words or phrases that wouldn't mean anything (or mean something completely different than intended) by other groups. On this specific subject, you could think of it as something like memes involving profanity.

"You're a ___" would be taken by most people without context as an insult, but a group of people could see it as something that isn't negative at all. I guess one specific example might be usage of the N word. It's generally considered negative and racist, but some people do not use it in such a way at all.

This pretty much. If you outright called someone a bitch, they'd be insulted or at the very least it was meant to be an insult. But say you are with some friends and you call someone a bitch, you could be joking and laughing and it would be funny for everyone involved. Context is important.

 

[MarchingSaint]

Yes and no; I do cuss, not so often but when happens nobody minds it.
In my country some swearing and even blasphemy, or obscenities, are common expressions in means of surprise,hurt,doubt etc etc
Of course i'm not saying everyone uses them, but it's not that much stigmatized here, it' s just a way of saying.

 

[NoobMan DS]

In general, no, I do not have a potty mouth. That doesn't mean I avoid swearing or using profanities though. I just don't commonly use them as my day-to-day language in conversations, when I'm in a stable mood. Which means, if you notice me starting to swear or throw profanities in real life, something is terribly wrong, I'm getting really angry, and you better don't try to aggravate my emotions or someone will get hurt soon. This rarely happens though, and perhaps the last part is a bit exaggerated.

I also hate it when someone merely judges the delivery instead of the content whenever I start swearing. Once, someone I used to know told me I was being rude and disrespectful in a message I sent that was full of profanities, and that I should say things nicely. I was very disappointed that this person couldn't observe how I was going out of my usual ways to convey the degree of my anger, and how this person just seemingly pointed toward my delivery as an opportunity to attack my character instead. I'd say ninety-five percent of my time with this person had me talking in good manners.

However, I kinda feel uncomfortable with hearing F-bombs being thrown around, and I prefer not to use them as part of my everyday language. So that makes me a hypocrite.

 

[Matej]

It's basically any situation where a smaller group is using words or phrases that wouldn't mean anything (or mean something completely different than intended) by other groups. On this specific subject, you could think of it as something like memes involving profanity.

"You're a ___" would be taken by most people without context as an insult, but a group of people could see it as something that isn't negative at all. I guess one specific example might be usage of the N word. It's generally considered negative and racist, but some people do not use it in such a way at all.

This pretty much. If you outright called someone a bitch, they'd be insulted or at the very least it was meant to be an insult. But say you are with some friends and you call someone a bitch, you could be joking and laughing and it would be funny for everyone involved. Context is important.

You would be surprised how many people do get offended by such words even if used by their best friends. The reason why they will laugh and interpret it as a joke is because they have to. When people hang out with others they adjust their behaviour to suit the group. In such situation it is much easier to repress it than make a scene out of it.

The quotes above depict very small social convention that doesn't happen all the time neither it is suitable for all situations. Its presence is not important when you look at what general social convention prescribes, which takes effect on everyday basis.

Once, someone I used to know told me I was being rude and disrespectful in a message I sent that was full of profanities, and that I should say things nicely. I was very disappointed that this person couldn't observe how I was going out of my usual ways to convey the degree of my anger, and how this person just seemingly pointed toward my delivery as an opportunity to attack my character instead. I'd say ninety-five percent of my time with this person had me talking in good manners.

Is the person your best friend or colleague ?

If the latter type is in question, that is how things usually work; you can be nice towards him all the time but one mistake will revoke all the good deeds you have done to him and you will have to start building your image all over again.

 

[NoobMan DS]

You would be surprised how many people do get offended by such words even if used by their best friends. The reason why they will laugh and interpret it as a joke is because they have to. When people hang out with others they adjust their behaviour to suit the group. In such situation it is much easier to repress it than make a scene out of it.

Ah, that. I know that feeling. Say, generally I didn't find it fun to have classmates doing name-calling on me. But, for many times I just put on a fake smile as a response. I tried to change my perspective in that particular moment, as I felt it was simply the person's way of joking or expressing...uhh..."friendliness". So, I just pushed myself to accept it. The person did not explicitly encourage me to do some trash-talking toward others, and I did not command him to stop doing so, and I suppose we were not imposing our cultures on each other. (although inside I actually don't like it) Or were we actually imposing them?

Well, I suppose there's an intangible, universal notion of what makes a proper and acceptable conversation, and it is one that is free of swearing and cussing. In the very first place, when you do not know the usual behavior of the individual you're talking to, you should totally avoid using profanities. If you already know him or her well enough, and he or she happens to be someone that finds such behavior fun or playful, well, go ahead.

Is the person your best friend or colleague ?

If the latter type is in question, that is how things usually work; you can be nice towards him all the time but one mistake will revoke all the good deeds you have done to him and you will have to start building your image all over again.

He was my friend in high school, not a work colleague.

I get what you mean though. It's fair enough in the case that the receiver is a colleague, there's the notion of an unwritten agreement to keep our relationship strictly professional, and how letting personal emotions seep through the work process is a sign of immaturity and unreadiness. I think it's also quite unlikely for me to even think about talking in such manners to a colleague if he or she makes me feel aggrieved. I somehow tend to have more capacity to be straightforwardly honest or in-your-face with people I already know.

 

[Matej]

Ah, that. I know that feeling. Say, generally I didn't find it fun to have classmates doing name-calling on me. But, for many times I just put on a fake smile as a response. I tried to change my perspective in that particular moment, as I felt it was simply the person's way of joking or expressing...uhh..."friendliness". So, I just pushed myself to accept it. The person did not explicitly encourage me to do some trash-talking toward others, and I did not command him to stop doing so, and I suppose we were not imposing our cultures on each other. (although inside I actually don't like it) Or were we actually imposing them?

Well, I suppose there's an intangible, universal notion of what makes a proper and acceptable conversation, and it is one that is free of swearing and cussing. In the very first place, when you do not know the usual behavior of the individual you're talking to, you should totally avoid using profanities. If you already know him or her well enough, and he or she happens to be someone that finds such behavior fun or playful, well, go ahead.

Every time a person hangs out with somebody he temporarily inherits some of its cultures and viewpoints until he calls it a night and leaves the group. That is inevitable unless you want to be rejected by others. But the most important thing is to prohibit influence of profanity and similar bad things that are considered innapropriate for general convention.

This all makes me think even more that profanity, when it has meaning it stands for negative and leaves bad mark of a transmitter on others even though receiver or transmitter are not aware of that at particular moment.

He was my friend in high school, not a work colleague.

I get what you mean though. It's fair enough in the case that the receiver is a colleague, there's the notion of an unwritten agreement to keep our relationship strictly professional, and how letting personal emotions seep through the work process is a sign of immaturity and unreadiness. I think it's also quite unlikely for me to even think about talking in such manners to a colleague if he or she makes me feel aggrieved. I somehow tend to have more capacity to be straightforwardly honest or in-your-face with people I already know.

Yeah, if you do not know that person too well it is recommended to be polite and pay attention to selection of words you're using. In conversation via computer this is of big importance as there is a much higher risk other side will interpret your message as offensive even is opposite is true.

 

[Exorcet]

You would be surprised how many people do get offended by such words even if used by their best friends.

I'm sure that's the case for some people, but they're probably pretty uncommon in certain groups of people.

The reason why they will laugh and interpret it as a joke is because they have to.

Not at all. They'll laugh because it's funny and they're all enjoying themselves. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't have to stand being around for it. Leave, or ask the other person to stop. That's unthinkable in many cases though because no one is being offensive.

When people hang out with others they adjust their behaviour to suit the group. In such situation it is much easier to repress it than make a scene out of it.

I agree with the first part. But they're not trying to make good out of bad situation. There is simply nothing bad about the situation.

The quotes above depict very small social convention that doesn't happen all the time neither it is suitable for all situations. Its presence is not important when you look at what general social convention prescribes, which takes effect on everyday basis.

The general trends may not matter. It depends who you're around. If you're basically always with close friends then what people think in general shouldn't even enter your mind.

Every time a person hangs out with somebody he temporarily inherits some of its cultures and viewpoints until he calls it a night and leaves the group. That is inevitable unless you want to be rejected by others. But the most important thing is to prohibit influence of profanity and similar bad things that are considered innapropriate for general convention.

This is kind of contradictory. If you're adapting to suit your current surroundings, then you shouldn't bother with the general rules. You only go by the general rules when you have to.

 

[ScottPuss20]

I know one kid who curses all the time

 

[Matej]

I'm sure that's the case for some people, but they're probably pretty uncommon in certain groups of people.

My experience says majority of people as we are all sensitive but you have to poke each person differently to find that out; in most cases when it is too late.

Not at all. They'll laugh because it's funny and they're all enjoying themselves. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't have to stand being around for it. Leave, or ask the other person to stop. That's unthinkable in many cases though because no one is being offensive.

Yes, a person may laugh if it is funny simply because he is not involved in profanity, rumor or other type of conversation. But once he gets involved he will be restrained, paying attention to what other say because that is what his inner sensitive spot tells him to do. If he interprets something as bad he may or may not react depend on what kind of group he is hanging out with. Most people won't react because they would be rejected sooner or late.

It has been proved numerous times before that people enjoy company the most when conversation does not involve subjects participating in it.

I agree with the first part. But they're not trying to make good out of bad situation. There is simply nothing bad about the situation.

Well, if profanity is used, a bad consequence is all a person can get. If he is lucky he will remain unharmed.

The general trends may not matter. It depends who you're around. If you're basically always with close friends then what people think in general shouldn't even enter your mind.

I do not agree with the quote. If people pay attention to general trends they are being thoughtful. It is easy to disconnect yourself from the public when a person is hanging out with close friends but those who pay attention to what others may hear or see are the real thing. That helps a person to keep his integrity and dignity.

This is kind of contradictory. If you're adapting to suit your current surroundings, then you shouldn't bother with the general rules. You only go by the general rules when you have to.

It may sound contradictory because I forgot to put proper words. I'm going to rephrase myself; a person has to let other influence him while he's hanging out with them but only to a degree - general rules should be considerated as I state above, so profanity and other inappropriate activities should be avoided even if used by friends.

 

[Slash]

You are way over analyzing it.

 

[Matej]

You are way over analyzing it.

I would say paying attention to details. And if arguments are reasonable, leading a comprehensive conversation between two persons with different opinions can't do much harm.
It may only become tedious at some point but I'm sure I'll be notified on time.

 

[mister dog]

When i'm swearing people at the office laugh that i must be working.
Otherwise my G. de la Tourette tic is mostly the F word in every sentence when i get worked up.

 

[Exorcet]

My experience says majority of people as we are all sensitive but you have to poke each person differently to find that out; in most cases when it is too late.

It would seem you have a very different experience from me. Profanity just plain doesn't matter in a lot of cases I've been in. It's simply normal speech.

Yes, a person may laugh if it is funny simply because he is not involved in profanity, rumor or other type of conversation. But once he gets involved he will be restrained, paying attention to what other say because that is what his inner sensitive spot tells him to do. If he interprets something as bad he may or may not react depend on what kind of group he is hanging out with. Most people won't react because they would be rejected sooner or late.

The people are often involved directly and still don't take offense. When it's between two close people, it takes on a private meaning. I don't see what benefit there is to looking at this from the point of view of general society. The general case is more common, but not more correct. Profanity does not have any inherent negativity.

It has been proved numerous times before that people enjoy company the most when conversation does not involve subjects participating in it.

Where has this been proved? I know that I like to talk about things I've done with other people because we were involved together.

Well, if profanity is used, a bad consequence is all a person can get. If he is lucky he will remain unharmed.

This goes against everything I see nearly day after day. Where you are, you've never seen anyone use profanity in public with no negative reaction from anyone at all?

I do not agree with the quote. If people pay attention to general trends they are being thoughtful. It is easy to disconnect yourself from the public when a person is hanging out with close friends but those who pay attention to what others may hear or see are the real thing. That helps a person to keep his integrity and dignity.

Adhering to general trends all the time is not being thoughtful though. If anything it's confusing and you could possibly call it lazy depending on why it's being done.

Now as far as the situation you're describing, a group of friends out in public (which is not the example I had brought up), yes you can consider the people around you. To a degree, you should. You're not there to keep them from being offended though. If they're gasping at what kind of language you're using because they're not minding their own business, you've done nothing wrong.

Going back to what I was saying though, none of that even needs to be considered if you are alone with your own group. Literally nothing you do will reach anyone else in that case.

It may sound contradictory because I forgot to put proper words. I'm going to rephrase myself; a person has to let other influence him while he's hanging out with them but only to a degree - general rules should be considerated as I state above, so profanity and other inappropriate activities should be avoided even if used by friends.

I don't see a reason. You call profanity inappropriate, seemingly only because some people are offended by it. If that is the reasoning, then when it's not possible to offend anyone it should not be inappropriate.

 

[Matej]

It would seem you have a very different experience from me.

I have sensed this as well, so I believe I could agree on this. Still, that doesn't change the fact that all people are sensitive.

Profanity just plain doesn't matter in a lot of cases I've been in. It's simply normal speech.

I just can't accept something considerated inappropriate and needless to be normal. Besides, if you consider polite and neutral speech to be normal, then profanity surely isn't normal because it stands out. But that is just my opinion.

The people are often involved directly and still don't take offense. When it's between two close people, it takes on a private meaning. I don't see what benefit there is to looking at this from the point of view of general society. The general case is more common, but not more correct. Profanity does not have any inherent negativity.

More common is also more correct because examples in your quote rarely appear. And profanity has inherent negativity but in few exceptions that you mentioned it can be concealed.

Where has this been proved? I know that I like to talk about things I've done with other people because we were involved together.

So do I. However, exceptions here are not as important as a general view. If conversation does not involve nearby participator there is no risk that anything will go wrong. When you discuss about a topic that does not involve anyone participating in conversation, nobody has to be worried that he will be embarassed or criticized.

If you're hanging out with your friends and talking about an experience all of you have gone through, that is an exception because not all people can receive this privilege.

Proved by people who observe conversations as a spectators and general public.

This goes against everything I see nearly day after day. Where you are, you've never seen anyone use profanity in public with no negative reaction from anyone at all?

I do, every single day. People use profanity when talking to each other without realizing they are doing something wrong. Again, as a spectator not being involved into conversation you can easily notice these things. If a person uses profanity regardless of whom he is talking to or where he is being present, that can lead only to tragedy but nothing may happen to the person if people around him does not perceive this or they simply don't care.

But someone always does.

Adhering to general trends all the time is not being thoughtful though. If anything it's confusing and you could possibly call it lazy depending on why it's being done.

I don't understand how being thoughful can be described as lazy or confusing. If you are paying attention to what you are saying and what others may hear you are certainly doing something most people don't. That surely deserves only praise.

Now as far as the situation you're describing, a group of friends out in public (which is not the example I had brought up), yes you can consider the people around you. To a degree, you should. You're not there to keep them from being offended though. If they're gasping at what kind of language you're using because they're not minding their own business, you've done nothing wrong.

On the contrary. If you are hanging out with your friends it is your responsibility to pay attention to what you say and what others may hear, see or perceive. It is not that people poke their noses into something on purpose (which is what I assume you think by reading your minding their own business part) because it is not their fault they are being present on that particular place at that particular time, they can't just close their eyes nad ears, and hope they won't register anything from their surroundings. If a person doesn not pay attention to whether someone may get offended (reasonably) by his statements then he shouldn't complain when tragedy occurs. People are sensitive.

Going back to what I was saying though, none of that even needs to be considered if you are alone with your own group. Literally nothing you do will reach anyone else in that case.

Like I said several posts before, just because nobody is around you doesn't mean you can act however you want. And in best case it will reach a person using profanity and his personal reputation. He should not throw that away just because nobody is around.

I don't see a reason. You call profanity inappropriate, seemingly only because some people are offended by it. If that is the reasoning, then when it's not possible to offend anyone it should not be inappropriate.

I call profanity inappropriate because that is how general convention calls it and because I fell it is inappropriate. And does a person really need to be offended for a profanity to become inappropriate ? Sometimes it is not about bystander but you and your image in eyes of others.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

There's never a bad time to use a curse word!

How about when you're standing in front of a room full of seven year-olds?

 

[lbpomg95]

How about when you're standing in front of a room full of seven year-olds?

Ok, there may be a bad time to use curse words!
Good thing I don't stand in front of a room full of 7 year olds, hey?