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BCG
Australia:
"Oh hey Lewis. Nice to see you over my shoulder"
Bahrain:
"Beckham: Did you get a retirement gift from the team?
Alonso: Yes, they let me choose between this McLaren shirt or last year's car."
China:
"How was she?"
"Mid-50s, red top, slimmer than usual and a tight squeeze to get into"
"And the car...?"
Azerbaijan:
Interviewer: "What are your chances of winning a race this year?"
Spain:
"Not one word, Max. Or you get the schuey in the glutey."
Monaco:
"Not going to the naughty step, cant make me!"
Canada:
Another giant bottle... and a Magnum of champagne.
France:
Just out of shot, Jackie Stewart shows what's really under a Scotsmans' kilt.
Austria:
Do these smell of bad decisions and failure to you ?
Great Britain:
Haas has finally found a situation in which Romain won't actually hit anything.
Germany:
The old superglued trophy works every time.
Hungary:
James Vowles claims at least 2 victims, playing "Last Christmas" over team radio.
Belgium:
Kubica uploading his latest engine failure data to the cloud.
Italy:
Seb: I'm not sure I should be taking more champagne, my head's already spinning. I can barely see Lance.
Checo: You should see a doctor, those symptoms seem persistent...
Singapore 1:
As Max demonstrates his beatboxing skills, Charles wonders if he is going to need intermediates
Singapore 2:
LeClerc nods politely as Max explains the merits of Dutch hardstyle parties for the sixth time that weekend.
Russia 1:
"Carlos challenges you to a thumb war. Winner gets to stay when we have Mercedes engines."
Russia 2:
"...and hold your thumb like this. Oh, and don't forget to bring a towel. Always take a towel."
Russia 3:
"Remember if you see Putin and Ecclestone around the paddock, we've all agreed to go for the sarcastic thumbs up only."
Japan:
Nico before he lost his point
Mexico:
Cyril Abiteboul (offscreen): As I was saying to Christian, I have all the money, so we've signed you a new team-mate for next season. Max Verstappen.
United States:
Magnussen: Oh no not another year with Remain Grosjean.
Brazil:
Max: Baby shark do do do.......
Lewis: *sigh*
Abu Dhabi:
It took a substantial effort to break into everyone's hotel room and bleach their hair the night before, but bleaching Alain Prost's Renault uniform was the cherry on top...
China: (Jimlaad43)
"How was she?"
"Mid-50s, red top, slimmer than usual and a tight squeeze to get into"
"And the car...?"
Austria: (Yellowbeard)
Do these smell of bad decisions and failure to you ?
Great Britain: (niky)
Haas has finally found a situation in which Romain won't actually hit anything.
Hungary: (Pezzarinho17)
James Vowles claims at least 2 victims, playing "Last Christmas" over team radio.
Belgium: (Famine)
Kubica uploading his latest engine failure data to the cloud.
Massa: I had to let him through, what's your excuse?
Marshal: Look, just because you're in India doesn't mean you have to worship every picture of a cow.
Hamilton: Is that a stetson?
Andretti: It's a hat, son...
"Alright, let's go and find a McLaren nose and see if the internet was right."
2016 German Grand Prix - @GTP_Ingram"There was a call for you from Maranello but we couldn't quite make out what they wanted over all the laughing."
"A yard of ale isn't really my thing - I prefer a foot of champagne."
McLaren engineers finally figure out Alonso has replaced himself with a cardboard-cutout version, when they realise he has absolutely no reason to look that cheerful.
Fernando regretted telling reporters "I will elevate McLaren to new heights in Belgium" before the race
James Vowles claims at least 2 victims, playing "Last Christmas" over team radio.