Funny/Strange News Stories

Somewhat old, but I thought it was funny.

Mell says no more Heinz ketchup after getting booted from hotel

Posted by Rick Pearson at 3:30 p.m.; updated at 6:45 p.m.

DENVER---Chicago Ald. Richard Mell (33d) is vowing never to use Heinz ketchup again after an incident in which he and a group of Chicagoans were asked to leave a prominent Denver hotel after helping a first-time delegate get her picture taken with Sen. John Kerry.

Mell, along with a group that included Ald. Margaret Laurino (39th) and newbie Democratic convention delegate Linda Murphy, a professor at Wright College, visited the cigar bar at the famed Brown Palace Hotel when the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee and Massachusetts senator walked in.

"Kerry goes into the restaurant and sits down," Mell recalled. "Margie says to (Murphy), 'Would you like a picture taken with John Kerry? We can do that.' She's all excited and she says, ‘Sure, I'd like to have that.' "

Laurino and Murphy went into the restaurant, asked Kerry for a photo and, Mell said, quickly left to return to the cigar bar. After about 15 minutes, Mell said, hotel security arrived.

"They came up to the women and said, ‘We want you to leave the hotel,’" Mell said. "I called the guy over and said, ‘What did you say?’ He said, ‘The women have to leave the hotel for disturbing the guests.’"

Mell said the group paid their tab and got up. "Then they escorted us out of the hotel and followed us down the block," Mell said.

He blames Kerry for having the group kicked out and said it was an example of why the Massachusetts senator failed in his presidential bid.

"I never heard of anything like that, actually asking us to leave," Mell said. Then, citing Kerry's wife, Teresa, the heir to the Heinz condiment fortune, Mell said, "Heinz ketchup will never be brought into my house again."

Update: A Kerry spokeswoman e-mailed to say that neither the senator nor his staff asked to have anyone removed from the hotel.

"We only became aware that anyone had been asked to leave when we saw your report," Kerry spokeswoman Whitney Smith wrote in the e-mail. "Sen. Kerry just spoke to the alderman to apologize and offered to have a drink with him and his group in Denver."
Click to expand...

http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/clout_st/2008/08/mell-says-no-mo.html

That 'll show him.
 
POO POWER!

SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - The U.S. city of San Antonio unveiled a deal on Tuesday that will make it the first U.S. city to harvest methane gas from human waste on a commercial scale and turn it into clean-burning fuel.


San Antonio residents produce about 140,000 tons a year of a substance gently referred to as "biosolids," which can be reprocessed into natural gas, said Steve Clouse, chief operating officer of the city's water system.

"You may call it something else," Clouse said, but for area utilities, the main byproduct of human waste - methane gas - will soon be converted into natural gas to burn in their power plants.

The city approved a deal where Massachusetts-based Ameresco Inc will convert the city's biosolids into natural gas, which could generate about 1.5 million cubic feet per day, he said.

Methane gas, which is a byproduct of human and organic waste, is a principal component of the natural gas used to fuel furnaces, power plants, and other combustion-based generators.

"The private vendor will come onto the facility, construct some gas cleaning systems, remove the moisture, remove the carbon dioxide content, and then sell that gas on the open market," Clouse said.

The gas will be sold to power generators, he said.

Some communities are using methane gas harvested from solid waste to power smaller facilities like sewage treatment plants, but San Antonio is the first to see large-scale conversion of methane gas from sewage into fuel for power generation, he said.

Following the agreement, more than 90 percent of materials flushed down the toilets and sinks of San Antonio will be recycled, he said. Liquid is now used for irrigation, many of the solids are made into compost, and now the methane gas will be recycled for power generation.

(Reporting by Jim Forsyth, Editing by Chris Baltimore and Lisa Shumaker)

It's not that difficult thing to do, actually and sounds like a great idea to generate more energy.
 
I knew it wasn't real. It was too over-the-top.
http://www.gamepolitics.com/2008/09/11/antispore-creationist-site-revealed-rick-roll

Yesterday GamePolitics covered AntiSpore, an apparent Creationist site bent on attacking the evolutionary message inherent in Will Wright's best-selling Spore.

We noted that there was some suspicion that the over-the-top blog was a hoax. And so it was. In today's entry the author starts out with a lengthy diatribe on her religious views:

I think part of the problem that is going on here is that the bulk of you are ignorant as to the word of God. I don’t have these beliefs just because I want to, I have them because they are the beliefs that I was raised in. I understand that everyone didn’t have the chance to be taught these things, and learn about God as my family did so if I am going to have this kind of attention I should use it to help teach others about the words of God that helped to shape me into the woman I am today...
Click to expand...
...and then goes on to quote biblical passages from the Book of Genesis:

...But the Bible teaches us that God was not done with man. For we were His creation and He then spoke to Noah in Genesis 8:21-27 after the flood.
“21. The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never gonna give you up.
22. “Never gonna let you down.”
23.”Never gonna run around and desert you.”
24. “Never gonna make you cry.”
25. “Never gonna say goodbye.”
26. “Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”
27.”Never truly believe anything you read on the Internet. There will always be cases of Poe’s Law.”
Click to expand...
So - a very clever Rickroll, indeed!

Now, the only remaining question is: who pulled this off? To find out that AntiSpore was an EA marketing stunt would be disappointing. Otherwise, Bravo!
Click to expand...
 
Lewd, Crude Vandal Leaves Greasy Imprint on Nebraska Town

By Nate Jenkins, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

-----------------------------

VALENTINE, Neb. - Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.

Police Chief Ben McBride says it's the weirdest case he's ever seen.

Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humour in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the "Butt Bandit."

But they also can't help but cringe when finding his marks.

"We were completely grossed out," said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. "One day I walked into the office and an employee said, 'Oh, my God, we've been struck!"'

The police chief is far from amused.

"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."

It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.

The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.

Then he - and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals - stopped over the fall and winter.

"People said he was done," McBride said. "Then he started back up this summer."

During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.

McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."

Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as "The Heart City." Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine's Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.

"This is not normal behaviour for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/09/11/6739366-ap.html
Click to expand...

Wasn't me; I promise!!!

Check out other 'weird' news at that link.
 
FoolKiller
I knew it wasn't real. It was too over-the-top.
http://www.gamepolitics.com/2008/09/11/antispore-creationist-site-revealed-rick-roll
Click to expand...

The Left are willing to attack anything to the right of them. No wonder they got fooled.

After listening to Giant Bomb's review of Spore, it seems that the game is more creation than evolution.

Solid Lifters
"Butt Bandit."

The police chief is far from amused.

"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."
Click to expand...

:lol:!!!
 
Last edited:
Solid Lifters
POO POWER!

SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - The U.S. city of San Antonio unveiled a deal on Tuesday that will make it the first U.S. city to harvest methane gas from human waste on a commercial scale and turn it into clean-burning fuel.


San Antonio residents produce about 140,000 tons a year of a substance gently referred to as "biosolids," which can be reprocessed into natural gas, said Steve Clouse, chief operating officer of the city's water system.

"You may call it something else," Clouse said, but for area utilities, the main byproduct of human waste - methane gas - will soon be converted into natural gas to burn in their power plants.

The city approved a deal where Massachusetts-based Ameresco Inc will convert the city's biosolids into natural gas, which could generate about 1.5 million cubic feet per day, he said.

Methane gas, which is a byproduct of human and organic waste, is a principal component of the natural gas used to fuel furnaces, power plants, and other combustion-based generators.

"The private vendor will come onto the facility, construct some gas cleaning systems, remove the moisture, remove the carbon dioxide content, and then sell that gas on the open market," Clouse said.

The gas will be sold to power generators, he said.

Some communities are using methane gas harvested from solid waste to power smaller facilities like sewage treatment plants, but San Antonio is the first to see large-scale conversion of methane gas from sewage into fuel for power generation, he said.

Following the agreement, more than 90 percent of materials flushed down the toilets and sinks of San Antonio will be recycled, he said. Liquid is now used for irrigation, many of the solids are made into compost, and now the methane gas will be recycled for power generation.

(Reporting by Jim Forsyth, Editing by Chris Baltimore and Lisa Shumaker)

It's not that difficult thing to do, actually and sounds like a great idea to generate more energy.
Click to expand...
Cue Farting/Passing Gas joke.
 
:lol:

Participants were offered a specially created virtual weapon as an incentive - the "Greatstaff of the Sun Serpent"
Click to expand...
KennethWilliams.jpg


(Sorry, Sureshot :P )
 
Police: iPhone Left In Hot Car For Three Hours

WINNETKA, IL—This normally peaceful suburban town is still reeling following the news Monday that a local resident, whose name is being withheld by police pending a full investigation, left an iPhone unattended for more than three hours in a car parked in the hot sun.

"Responding to calls from concerned passersby, who observed the iPhone sitting in a vehicle in the parking lot of the Westfield Shopping Center, police arrived on the scene at approximately 4 p.m. and immediately intervened to save the device," said Winnetka police chief Douglas Blaine. "Security cameras have shown that the iPhone had been in the car—with the doors locked and the windows rolled up—since 1 p.m. Due to the tragic and highly emotional nature of this case, we cannot say any more at this time."


According to official police records, two officers forcibly broke into the car at 4:07 p.m. and found the iPhone lying face down on the dashboard. The iPhone at first showed no signs of life, but after a tense few seconds, officers were able to wake it and get it to respond to a series of simple touch commands. Police said that if the iPhone were left in the extreme heat for any longer, it could have died.

The iPhone was rushed by ambulance to a nearby Apple facility for careful examination. Miraculously, no damage to its memory, screen, or wireless capabilities was reported.
Upper-middle-class suburbanites from all over the North Shore area have reacted to the near-tragedy with an unprecedented outpouring of concern. Hundreds of cards and letters have come streaming in, and local talk radio shows have been flooded with calls demanding that the iPhone's owner be prosecuted. Many have come forward offering to take the iPhone into their custody, and still more have donated free downloads, ringtones, and MP3s to the victimized object.
Although the device was unharmed, Winnetka residents expressed shock and dismay that something like this could occur in their normally materially conscious community.


"What kind of a human being is capable of such callous disregard for a precious, precious thing?" said one concerned Winnetka resident, tax lawyer Ben Klein. "Having an iPhone is a 24-hour-a-day responsibility."
"This iPhone was less than a year old," said Janelle Mankewiecz, another outraged citizen. "If someone is blessed with an iPhone, especially one of the newer models like this one, they should never take their eyes off it for even one second."
"On a hot day, the temperatures inside a parked car can reach 150 degrees in just 40 minutes," she added, looking up the information on her own iPhone.


Witnesses said that when the iPhone's owner eventually arrived at her car and realized what she had done, she began sobbing hysterically, calling out in vain for her iPhone, and rocking back and forth on the parking lot pavement while repeatedly shouting "No" and "This can't be happening." The owner is currently being held by authorities and will likely be charged with criminal neglect. If found guilty, she will be subject to severe punitive action, including fines and possible jail time, and the iPhone will be placed under foster care.


The iPhone's owner issued a statement through her attorney.
"My client deeply regrets the incident, and wishes to express a sincere apology to the police, the community, and the fine manufacturers at Apple," said lawyer Henry Durst, who was retained by the suspect following her arrest. "My client is remorseful and clearly emotionally distraught. This is her first iPhone."


Nonetheless, local government officials remain disturbed by what they are calling "inhuman" treatment of the iPhone.
"My husband and I have been trying for months, but so far, we've been unable to have an iPhone," town assemblywoman Janet Nuetreer said. "But if we did, we would understand that there is nothing more important. Every iPhone is a gift from God."


"Sadly, this sort of mistreatment of iPhones is more widespread than people think," said Dr. Jordan Heimlich, director of Winnetka Community Services, who is currently supervising the iPhone's care. "People leave their iPhones precariously perched on the edges of counters, they forget to charge them, they even fail to provide them with basic necessities like a decorative carrying case. I've even heard cases of iPhones being dropped."
"But I've never seen anything like this happen here in Winnetka before," he added. "It's sad to see how out of line so many people's basic priorities are."


Authorities added that it was "just sheer luck" that the toddler who was also left in the car was unconscious at the time, as otherwise he could have potentially damaged the iPhone.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/police_iphone_left_in_hot_car_for?utm_source=onion_rss_daily
 
This story is just a litle Ironic...
BBC
Recycling litter funds honeymoon

The Tills's story emerged after they sent this picture to their local paper
A couple spent three months collecting and recycling litter to pay for their honeymoon flights.

John and Ann Till, from Petersfield, in Hampshire, took thousands of cans and bottles to a recycling centre at a nearby Tesco supermarket.

For every four recycled items, they earned a reward point which was then converted into BA air miles.

They amassed 36,000 miles, which they used to fly back in business class from their US honeymoon.

Enough rubbish

The Tills came up with the idea while buying petrol at Tesco in Havant, where an automated recycling unit that gives loyalty-card points had been installed for a trial period.

They had enough money for a Queen Mary 2 cruise to New York but could not afford the flights home, so the couple started scouring the streets of their home town for rubbish, clocking up the miles for their dream honeymoon.

There was enough rubbish out there to fly us to the moon and back

John Till

Mr Till, 31, a railways communications manager, said: "We wanted to make our honeymoon special and were trying to think of ways to raise money for it.

"I saw on the machine that you got a Tesco Clubcard point for every four items you put in. For every 250 points you got 600 British Airways miles.

"We worked out that it would be possible to turn rubbish into our flights - as long as we had enough."

Mr Till said they had collected almost every night for three months during spring.

They had rarely been off-duty, he said, even taking the long route home after a night in the pub.

Sometimes we were posting 600 items a time into the machine

Ann Till

"At the very beginning, we were concerned it would not be achievable, but then we saw the amount of rubbish out there," said Mr Till.

"It's not to say the pavements were awash with litter, it was when we looked over walls and in the undergrowth.

"There was enough rubbish out there to fly us to the moon and back."

The couple spent hours "force feeding" the machine and maximised their point-earning potential by cutting cans in half and claiming other people's recycling leftovers.

Mrs Till, 24, a merchant navy navigation officer, said: "Sometimes we were posting 600 items a time into the machine. We would be there for hours putting stuff through the slot.

Litter louts

"I remember it was snowing one evening and it was freezing cold and there we were chucking stuff into the machine."

They reached their air miles goal in May, which covered the bulk of their £3,000 business class flights.

We have got a set of environmental targets and it sounds as though the Tills were almost hitting those single handedly

Tesco spokesman

They married in August, then sailed to New York on the Queen Mary 2 and travelled to Denver, Colorado and Nashville, Tennessee, before flying home from Atlanta.

Their recycling feat came to light after they e-mailed a honeymoon picture to their local paper - the Petersfield Post - as part of its Read Around The World competition.

"While it was nice to get the rubbish for the good cause, it was disappointing to see there are clearly a lot of litter louts in our town," said Mr Till.

"But it did raise a smile when we were in business class on the flight back to Gatwick to think that the litter louts of Petersfield had paid for the pleasure."

Tesco spokesman David Nieberg said the automated recycling machines were being trialled in a few of the larger UK stores.

"We support all our customers who wish to recycle," he said. "We have got a set of environmental targets and it sounds as though the Tills were almost hitting those single-handedly.

"If it helped them go on honeymoon even better - we congratulate them on that."
Click to expand...
 
Pork Barrel Bacon Not A Favorite In Kosher Washington DC

http://www.wlwt.com/cnn-news/17637031/detail.html

WEST CHESTER, Ohio -- One of Rep. John Boehner’s local offices was evacuated Monday afternoon after a suspicious package arrived in the mail.

Message On Pork Barrel Spending Causes Big Scare

Staffers received the letter from Georgia by U.S. mail. After noticing it was leaking an oily substance, they called the Capitol police in Washington, who advised them to evacuate as a precaution and call in local authorities.

Multiple police agencies responded to the Republican congressman’s West Chester office and began an investigation.

After an X-ray analysis, investigators determined the package contained bacon.

Boehner voted twice last week for a $700 billion bailout of the financial industry, which passed Friday and was signed into law by President George W. Bush.

Some critics have charged that the legislation contained unnecessary giveaways, which are sometimes referred to as “pork barrel” spending.

A spokeswoman said it's ironic someone would send Boehner bacon because he has spent his career fighting pork barrel spending.

No injuries were reported, and the incident remains under investigation. A note found in the package with the bacon was not disclosed by authorities.
 
I posted that in the MGS4 thread last week. I should have put it in here too.
 

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