Funny/Strange News Stories

[ExigeEvan]

The full news story is quite funny.

 

[buickgnx88]

Mythbusters "Big Bang" Shatters Windows

 

[FoolKiller]

Well, there goes that idea.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29971638/

Man charged with drunk driving on bar stool

Cops: 28-year-old wrecked stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower
Kile Wygle of Newark, Ohio, told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

NEWARK, Ohio - Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.

Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries.

Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers.

Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

 

[Stevisiov]

High-speed sex costly in Norway

A man faces a hefty fine and a driving ban after being caught having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on a motorway in Norway, police have said.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7996815.stm

 

[TheCracker]

Force is strong for Jedi police

Umm, the nou och aye.

 

[Sureboss]

He felt vunerable? I didn't have anything on at all! All I wanted was a pair of shorts or something to cover my modesty, but noooo, the git gets me in a headlock and throws me out the door!

It's not my fault I'm naturally bouncy.

You should've seen the commotion when I went to the Bathurst 1000kms:

Takuma Sato's return to motorsport went down well, then.

 

[Mark T]

Man attempts to rob store with banana, then tries to eat the evidence.

Link

 

[Sureboss]

Lucky he didn't try to rob the store with a pineapple.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Twins With Two Fathers (On the next Murry Polvich)

http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/national_world&id=6822198

Dallas, Texas (KFSN) -- Doctors in Texas are scratching their heads over an extremely rare medical case. It involves a pair of twins born at the same time, to the same mother but they have two different fathers.

11-month Old Justin and Jordan are pretty much like any other twins. But when their mom noticed some subtle differences in their facial features, she decided to get their D.N.A. tested. That's when she discovered each boy is actually from a different father.

It's a phenomenon called "hetero-paternal super fecun-dation," and doctors say it's the rarest type of twins in the world. "Uh, this is likely to be the only time that we will see this occur in the city of Dallas. It's that rare," said Dr. Chris Dreiling.

Mia Washington, the twin's mother said "Out of all the people in America, out of all the people in the world, it had to happen to me, but I'm very shocked."

This rarity happens when a woman releases multiple eggs and has more than one sexual partner during the same time period.

The father of one of the twins said he forgives his fiancée for her infidelity and still plans to raise Justin and Jordan together.

 

[Omnis]

The father said he forgives the fiancee in order to keep their secret "parties" a secret.

 

[FoolKiller]

A story to scare the crap out of you, literally.

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/31846/japanese-horror-story-–-itll-get-you-end

Japanese Horror Story – It'll Get You in the End!
Books Drop Horror News Japanese Koji Suzuki

There are gimmicks, and then there are gimmicks. And today we got the drop on a story that will make you want to drop your drawers and settle in for some alone time. Seriously. Why take a book into the bathroom when you can actually read the toilet paper?

According to Yahoo! News that’s what’s happening with author Koji Suzuki’s latest short story, the appropriately titled "Drop", about sinister happenings in a Japanese latrine. Suzuki, author of the Ring novels, is debuting his nine-chapter novella on rolls of toilet paper throughout the country courtesy of Hayashi Paper. Each roll will carry multiple copies of the tale.

The company promotes the toilet paper, which will sell for 210 yen ($2.20) a roll, as "a horror experience in the toilet." Toilets in Japan were traditionally tucked away in a dark corner of the house due to religious beliefs. Parents would tease children that a hairy hand might pull them down into the dark pool below.

This is something you certainly don’t hear about every day. How long do you suppose until America tries to remake this idea?

 

[TB]

Oh, Koji, you little stinker!

 

[FoolKiller]

Ikea to buy GM, sell self-assembly cars.

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/business/hancock/blog/2009/06/ikea_to_buy_gm_outsource_assem.html

IKEA to buy GM, outsource assembly to consumers
Cute. This has been around for months, but I hadn't seen it before. In a stunning last-minute development, IKEA will rescue GM and cut costs to finance GM's cripping pension and health-care expense by shifting assembly to car buyers. And you do it all with that little hex wrench they give you.

 

[Touring Mars]

Not sure this is "funny" as in "funny haha", but it got a chuckle out of me...

Warning: rather disgusting picture of a dead mouse imbedded in a loaf of bread- do not click if you are squeamish

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8092921.stm

 

[Northstar]

At least he died in one awesome pose.

Edit: Foolkiller, isn't that a VW Golf? Didn't know GM owned them.

 

[FoolKiller]

Edit: Foolkiller, isn't that a VW Golf? Didn't know GM owned them.

Dunno. It was just the picture in the story.

It could be a Chevette.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

FOTA dnner descends into chaos

 

[GT Pro]

That was one lucky Skippy.

Quote:
IKEA to buy GM, outsource assembly to consumers
Cute. This has been around for months, but I hadn't seen it before. In a stunning last-minute development, IKEA will rescue GM and cut costs to finance GM's cripping pension and health-care expense by shifting assembly to car buyers. And you do it all with that little hex wrench they give you.

Not a bad idea... at face value.

 

[Famine]

GazProm seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal.


Not necessarily funny on the face of it, but I'm guessing no-one in the PR department ever thought about the possible problems the name they came up with (paragraph 2) might cause...

Fail.

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

GazProm seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal.


Not necessarily funny on the face of it, but I'm guessing no-one in the PR department ever thought about the possible problems the name they came up with (paragraph 2) might cause...

Fail.

Oh dear.

 

[Duke]

Ruh roh.

 

[livemusic]

Lmao!

 

[FoolKiller]

Wow, is all I can say to that.


In other news
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31539546/ns/world_news-weird_news/

‘High as a kite’ wallabies blamed for crop circles

SYDNEY, Australia - Wallabies snacking in Tasmania's legally grown opium poppy fields are getting "high as a kite" and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, a state official said.

This might actually be cooler than aliens.

 

[ND4SPD]

Wallabies are now my favorite animals.

 

[FoolKiller]

This is equally awesome and funny.

http://www.engadget.com/2009/06/29/carnivorous-clock-eats-bugs-counts-down-to-doomsday/

Carnivorous Clock eats bugs, begins doomsday countdown
by Thomas Ricker, posted Jun 29th 2009 at 4:33AM

It's not enough that humans gave robots a place to congregate to plan our demise, now we've adapted them with the ability to extract fuel from the very nectar of life. All that innocent experimentation with fuel cells that run on blood has led to this, a flesh-eating clock. This prototype time-piece from UK-based designers James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau traps insects on flypaper stretched across its roller system before depositing them into a vat of bacteria. The ensuing chemical reaction, or "digestion," is transformed into power that keeps the rollers rollin' and the LCD clock ablaze. The pair offers an alternative design fueled by mice, another contraption whose robotic arm plucks insect-fuel from spider webs with the help of a video camera, and a lamp powered by insects lured to their deaths with ultraviolet LEDs. Man, this is so wrong it has to be right.

 

[Touring Mars]

GazProm seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal.


Not necessarily funny on the face of it, but I'm guessing no-one in the PR department ever thought about the possible problems the name they came up with (paragraph 2) might cause...

Fail.

The gas company With Attitude?

 

[Omnis]

The gas company With Attitude?

Oh snap. Nigaz don't know.

 

[Omnis]

Good news, everyone! Have sex every day. Normally this wouldn't be funny, but I found the two comments on the article to be chuckle-worthy.

 

[FoolKiller]

Beer festival runs out of...beer?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hereford/worcs/8134933.stm

Beer runs out at annual festival
A Herefordshire beer festival has been stopped early after it was "drunk completely dry", said organisers.

The Sunday session of the Beer on the Wye festival has been called off, despite an emergency delivery of 18 barrels of drink on Saturday afternoon.

 

[Sureboss]

My arse is that an emergency delivery. We can get a 12 tonne delivery of beer in 4 hours delivered from a depot 70 miles away (other job, not the development stuff ). I suspect there is more to it than meets the eye.