Funny/Strange News Stories

[McLaren]

He was ok, the police had an air cusion ready. Someone got sick of the traffic jams.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8064867.stm

 

[Casio]

Kids sweets have sexual acts on the wrapper!

I find it great that these sweets have been out for years and absolutely nobody has ever noticed it.

I'd totally go that Lemon.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Not exactly funny, but I'm posting it anyway. And you know how I feel, "A dead offender is better than a repeat offender."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090915...jb3JkaW9uX3Vfc19uZXdzBHNsawNjb2xsZWdlc3R1ZGU-

BALTIMORE – A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a suspected burglar in a garage behind his off-campus home early Tuesday, hours after someone broke in and stole electronics.

Some shocked neighbors said they heard bloodcurdling screams in an area just blocks from the university. Police held the student, a junior chemistry major who turns 21 on Sunday, for several hours, but he was not charged with any crimes Tuesday, police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said.

Around 1:20 a.m., the student heard noises behind the home and noticed a door to the garage was open, Guglielmi said. He grabbed the sword and confronted the intruder — identified by police as Donald D. Rice, 49, a habitual offender who had just been released from jail.

Rice was crouching beneath a counter, police said. The student asked him what he was doing and threatened to call police.

"When he said that, the suspect lunged at him, kind of forced the kid against the wall, and he struck him with the sword," Guglielmi said.

Rice's left hand was nearly severed — Guglielmi described it as "hanging on by a thread" — and he suffered a severe cut to the upper body. He died at the scene.

On Monday, two laptops and a Sony PlayStation were stolen from the student's home, which he shares with three other students, but police were not sure whether Rice was responsible, Guglielmi said.

There was a pool of blood Tuesday morning in the brick courtyard between the back porch of the home and the garage. The courtyard was strewn with debris, including what looked like broken glass.

Guglielmi did not know why the student kept a sword. He said he may have had some martial arts training, but was not an expert.

Rice's criminal history includes more than two dozen arrests for burglary, breaking and entering and auto theft. According to court records, he was charged in 2007 after he pulled a gun on a police officer, though prosecutors placed those charges on hold because the officer was on military leave.

Rice was convicted in 2008 of unauthorized removal of property and sentenced to 18 months. He was released Saturday from the Baltimore County Detention Center.

Several nearby residents said the community has experienced a rash of petty crimes in recent months, including home, garage and vehicle break-ins. Many homes have bars on windows and stickers advertising alarm systems.

Michael Hughes, 43, said he was getting ready for bed when he heard the screams.

"There was fear in the voice. I could tell someone was scared," Hughes said.

Hughes called 911, and several police cars arrived while he was on the phone. Campus security officers and an off-duty city officer who were in the area responding to a suspicious person report also heard the screams.

The diverse neighborhood includes a mix of students, professors and families, said Hughes, who lives with his wife and young children and works for the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, which is on another campus across town.

"There seems to be a noticeable increase in crime in the neighborhood," Hughes said. "I am concerned for my family's safety."

Kenny Eaton, 20, a junior political science major at Hopkins who lives nearby, said there was some tension between students and lower-income residents of nearby communities. The private Johns Hopkins is known for its health and science research and has about 4,600 undergraduates on its main campus.

"You take kids who are paying $50,000 a year (in tuition) and then put them out in a very dangerous city environment, it's almost like a clash of civilizations," he said.

Three young men, including one in a Hopkins T-shirt, were sitting on the front porch of the home Tuesday morning. A police officer was standing in the doorway, and a single police car was parked nearby. The men refused to talk to an Associated Press reporter.

Susan Boswell, the dean of student life at Hopkins, said in a statement that she was "relieved to report that the student was not harmed," but she also advised other students not to follow the swordsman's example.

"If you ever suspect that there is a prowler in your residence or on your property, call 911 immediately," Boswell said. "Experts advise that you do not attempt to confront the intruder, but rather secure yourself in a locked area until police arrive."

Guglielmi said police would consult with prosecutors about whether to file charges against the student. As in most states, self-defense in Maryland is defined by common law rather than by statute. People who confront intruders inside their homes have a greater degree of latitude to use force, and prosecutors consider whether to file charges in such incidents on a case-by-case basis.

"One can genuinely and reasonably be in fear of one's own safety even if the burglar is unarmed," said Andrew D. Levy, a Baltimore defense attorney and an adjunct professor at the University of Maryland School of Law. "But nonetheless, it would be something that a good prosecutor would consider."

 

[Solid Lifters]

I found this post at a different website and had to share.

The county I live in recently had a proposal put forward which would have prohibited the discharging of firearms within 300 yards of a home. Why, I don't know, besides all the dang yuppee yankees moving here who then complain about people doing what people here have always done in the past. So, one council person suggests that enough people haven't died yet to justify the passage of this bill. What?... Is accidental shooting a serious problem here? No, perhaps you should look to the inner-city gang and drug problems before focusing narrowly on a non-issue such as accidental shootings and a few scared liberal yankees who've never heard a gun discharged?...

Here's a comment from the idiot on the failure to pass the bill.


Quote:
“We will never get this ordinance passed in Anderson County,” said council member Gracie Floyd, one of those voting in favor of the proposal. “It’s going to take a couple of people getting killed for that to happen.”

From http://www.independentmail.com/news/...n-county-coun/

Now, here's the kicker to all this. Ms. Floyd, a Democrat (I know, BIG surprise there...), recently purchased a pistol to defend her family. Having never taken the responsibility to go out and learn to shoot, the dumbarse ended up shooting herself and a family member in the living room of her home. Wouldn't some good quality shooting time have helped her skills and prevented the accident? I would think so...


Quote:
Upstate Councilwoman Shoots Self Accidentally

Gracie Floyd Accidentally Shot Self While Handling Gun

POSTED: 7:07 pm EDT July 10, 2009
UPDATED: 5:46 pm EDT July 11, 2009

BELTON, S.C. -- An Anderson County councilwoman was recovering on Saturday after accidentally shooting herself in her Belton home.

Anderson County councilwoman Gracie Floyd's home in Belton.
Gracie Floyd was taken to a hospital Friday afternoon.
Deputies said Floyd was in her living room trying to clear the bullets out of the chamber of her .40-caliber gun and familiarize herself with it when it went off.

Floyd's cousin was shot in the finger and Floyd was hit in the leg. Neither suffered any life-threatening injuries. In fact, officials said she's in good spirits.

In a written statement, Floyd, "While my son was visiting two months ago, someone pulled into our yard and damaged our lawns. As a result of repeated targeting and threats, I have been forced to arm myself."
She said she is "thankful for and blessed by the outpouring of prayers and support from the community."

Deputies ruled the incident as an accidental shooting. No one will be charged.

From http://www.wyff4.com/news/20020358/detail.html

What a dumbarse!

Thank you Ms. Floyd for providing more proof of your party's idiocy!

 

[FoolKiller]

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/...will-turn-them-gay-they-wont-want-playboy.php

Coburn Aide: If Boys Knew Porn Will Turn Them Gay, They Won't Want Playboy
Eric Kleefeld | September 21, 2009, 11:47AM

In an infamous moment at the Values Voter Summit over the weekend, captured on video by Dave Weigel, Sen. Tom Coburn's (R-OK) chief of staff Michael Schwartz made the case against pornography. "All pornography is homosexual pornography," said Schwartz, quoting an ex-gay friend of his, "because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards."

Schwartz then explained the side benefit of this finding -- that if boys know pornography will make them gay, they'll never touch it, taking advantage of what Schwartz sees as a natural homophobia. "And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he's going to want to get a copy of Playboy?" he said. "I'm pretty sure he'll lose interest. That's the last thing he wants!"

Remember kids, if you look at naked women you'll turn gay for men.

 

[Danoff]

http://gizmodo.com/5364986/backwards-painted-truck-doubles-as-pants-crapper-3000

 

[FoolKiller]

http://www.joystiq.com/2009/09/23/why-you-shouldnt-get-your-video-game-news-from-the-wall-street/

Why you shouldn't get your video game news from The Wall Street Journal
by Justin McElroy { Sep 23rd 2009 at 1:00PM }

When you want the very latest on old guys, money and old guys' money, you turn to The Wall Street Journal. When you want news about video games, you could probably do better, as evidenced by this quote from a Dow Jones Newswire piece the publication ran today about that THQ takeover speculation:

"Take-Two has a number of strong franchises and a number of wholly owned Internet Protocols. Wholly owned IPs not only carry higher profitability, but also are more valuable to media companies because they could be adapted into movies, TV serials and online destinations."

We'd make a joke here, but there's literally nothing we could say that would be funnier than that quote.

 

[daan]

Saw this in the paper today, and Holdenhsvgtsr just reminded me.

A diehard fan has shocked his family and friends by changing his name by deed poll to Motherwell Football Club.

Frazer Boyle, 20, from Coltness, North Lanarkshire, has been a regular at Fir Park since he was nine.

He paid £33 last week to legally swap his birth name and has sent off for a new driving licence and passport as Mr Motherwell Football Club.

The student's mother, Hazel, 45, said she had overcome her initial shock and was fine "as long as he was happy".

Mr Motherwell Football Club said there had been a mixed reaction to his name change.

"I have been Motherwell daft since my grandfather started taking me to the games when I was only nine," he said.

"I am the only Motherwell fan in the house so I don't think anyone understands why I did it.

"My girlfriend isn't too bothered but I'm not sure if she'd be happy maybe being known as Mrs Motherwell Football Club eventually."

Frazer's mother Hazel Boyle said she was shocked when she heard about her son's new name.

"When Frazer first said to me I thought he was kidding on, I was ready to give him a clip around the ear," she said.

"He is Motherwell daft and has already been to France and Wales in the past year to watch them; I think that is punishment enough.

"As long as he is happy that is the main thing."

'Passionate' fan

Keith Craine, who runs Motherwell fan's message board Steelmen Online, praised Frazer for his dedication to the 'Well.

He said: "Frazer is just one of many Motherwell fans who are passionate about the club.

"He travelled abroad with 3,000 other loyal fans last year and good on him for finding a new way to support the Steelmen.

"When word got out about this he got a bit of a slagging but I'm sure they secretly admire his nerve."

A spokesman for UK Deed Poll service said: "We think it's a good idea and we are always happy to help people change their names to a football club or celebrity.

Scottish procedure

"We are reaching 50,000 name changes this year and some are weird and wonderful."

In Scotland individuals can change their name without using the Deed Poll Service.

People can choose to be known by a different name at any time, provided they do not intend to deceive or defraud.

Once a new name has been decided, it can be used freely, although evidence will usually be required for most official purposes.

Change of names can be recorded officially with the Registrar General.

Linky with video for the Brits

 

[Omnis]

http://www.joystiq.com/2009/09/23/why-you-shouldnt-get-your-video-game-news-from-the-wall-street/

That's pretty funny. Maybe it's WSJ's way of saying there's no such thing as intellectual property.

 

[Dave A]

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Cross-Dressing-Cage-Fighter-Video-Yobs-Floored-After-Attacking-Hard-Men-In-Drag/Article/200910115401084?lpos=UK_News_Second_UK_News_Feature_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15401084_Cross_Dressing_Cage_Fighter_Video%3A_Yobs_Floored_After_Attacking_Hard_Men_In_Drag
This is beautiful. I read saw it at lunch time first and it put a smile on my face.
Poetic justice.

 

[Prosthetic]

More ownage to top that off with

 

[Speedy Samurai]

More ownage to top that off with

pwned. or as the french would say, "la pwnage!"

 

[FoolKiller]

New Wii game.
http://www.destructoid.com/water-sports-coming-to-the-wii-151952.phtml

Water Sports coming to the Wii
1 hour ago - 11:40 AM on 10.14.2009, Jim Sterling 20 comments

There is only one reason why I chose to run this story. You already know exactly what that reason is.

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. - October 14, 2009 - GameMill Entertainment today announced Water Sports. Set to release in October for Wii™, the game utilizes the Wii Balance Board™ accessory and simple controls for hours of enjoyment.

Forget the fitness titles! Grab your Wii Balance Board and head out on the water with Water Sports for Wii. Water Sports will recreate the feeling of Wakeboarding, Wind Surfing, and Kite Boarding. Keep the summer fun at the lake going all year round with the use of the Wii Balance Board.

Choose from locations around the globe filled with jumps and rails. Pull of some sick tricks while in Hawaii, or race your friends in Australia. In Wakeboarding the player will have the option for a co-operative mode where one player will drive the boat while the other player is on the Wakeboard!

Water Sports will prove to be one of the easiest games to play with the Balance Board, making it fun for all ages.

"Stand on the Balance Board and ride the waves across the globe! With simple controls, players will find high speeds in Watercraft racing, big jumps in Kite Boarding, and long rails in Wind Surfing.” said Gary Miller, GameMill Entertainment. "Water Sports will provide hours of family enjoyment"

For more information visit www.game-mill.com.

And after a brief visit to the producer's site:

 

[Prosthetic]

Prepare for laughter!!

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

EDIT: It gets better!!

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665808

 

[Only_in_f1]

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Wo...Nelly_Caught_In_Carroll,_Iowa,_With_Disguises

 

[FoolKiller]

http://www.autoblog.com/2009/12/10/top-gear-crew-responds-to-gay-audience-kerfuffle-by-bring/

It's Clarkson's comment that does it for me.

Top Gear crew responds to gay audience kerfuffle by bringing on the Village People. Sort of.
by Jeremy Korzeniewski (RSS feed) on Dec 10th 2009 at 6:02PM


What to Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May all have in common with the Village People? Well, nothing really, except for the fact that all of them were present and accounted for at last Sunday's taping of Top Gear in Britain. Sort of... actually, it was four men that the BBC crew hired to dress up like the stereotypically gay musical group of "Y.M.C.A." and "Macho Man" fame.

So, the next logical question: Why? To prove that Top Gear isn't homophobic, obviously. Just last week, word hit the Interwebs that a gay couple had been denied tickets to the super-popular British show due to a rule that TG's cast be made up equally of men and women. The BBC claims it doesn't deny gay people from its audience as long as the 50/50 rule is adhered to.

Never one to back down from controversy, Jeremy Clarkson reportedly said during the taping, "The truth is, we welcome homosexual couples. We particularly like the lesbian sort... I saw a film about lesbians on the Internet once. It looked very interesting." This is sure to smooth over any tensions between the gay community and Top Gear, dontcha think?

 

[TheBook]

Sounds like a reasonable Clarkson response.

 

[Jay]

Four year old found with beer and stolen gifts

 

[Touring Mars]

Today's Science podcast apparently tells us "how cocaine alters gene expression, third-party punishment in fish, and working towards simpler, cheaper particle accelerators." I never knew cocaine use had so many side effects!

 

[Omnis]

Today's Science podcast apparently tells us "how cocaine alters gene expression, third-party punishment in fish, and working towards simpler, cheaper particle accelerators." I never knew cocaine use had so many side effects!

 

[Touring Mars]

Not the best time to be checking out some babes on your work computer...

 

[McLaren]

Identified as well.
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/enterta...randa-kerr-snaps/story-e6frf96o-1225826377310

 

[Boffin]

Hahaha - yeah I saw this live and had a good laugh. I wondered when this would pop up on GTP.

Some are saying it was an email, because you can see outlook also on the screen, so it coudl have been the pictures, and then "Now look behind you" or something.

Whatever the reason - BURNT!

 

[Turbo Lag]

Lol, I saw this live too. Owned much?

 

[Northstar]

I know people joke about it, but I didn't think anyone would actually go through all the trouble to save 5 minutes.

Driver stopped in carpool lane with mannequin

 

[Pitracer100]

I know people joke about it, but I didn't think anyone would actually go through all the trouble to save 5 minutes.

Driver stopped in carpool lane with mannequin

You'd be amazed to see how many people do it in Atlanta just to save the rush hour time.
The news stations quit reporting it after so many times of this happening.

 

[TheCracker]

Dubai court annuls marriage to 'bearded lady'

 

[Boffin]

Poor woman.

 

[DK]

Dubai court annuls marriage to 'bearded lady'

I take it they thought she was a man. And as far as I know the Arab world isn't exactly in love with the idea of same-sex marriages.

EDIT: I've just read the article. Turns out the man thought he was deceived, because he saw the photos of his wife-to-be's sister that were passed off as his actual wife-to-be.

 

[Northstar]

I thought it was common knowledge to meet the person before you marry them.