Funny/Strange News Stories

[prisonermonkeys]

Sex-staved Skippy is keeping women on the hop

 

[Submerged]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/asia_pacific/10130346.stm

 

[Syntax error]

German bank goes boom: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/europe/10161486.stm

 

[Famine]

They were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

 

[DK]

BBC News: naked hiker faces court battle. I just pissed myself laughing.

 

[Omnis]

They were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

I think there was some confusion when the boss told them to bring 50 pounds worth of explosives.

 

[DK]

It's a cult? Really?

Well, cults (IMO) prey on the stupid and gullible. Which perfectly describes those who would turn down a night in bed with a total babe for religious reasons.

Unless there was an extra bit to that video that I didn't get to see, no. If there is then that guy clearly needs to quit claiming he is gay.

He was gay, and Billy Ray didn't kill him [/stereotype of country singers]? It's strange how she'll do anything except sex outside of marriage.

On the topic of funny news stories: Greek PM's phone line is cut. Greece really is broke! Sorry, that was just cruel.

 

[livemusic]

 

[sumbrownkid]

Well, cults (IMO) prey on the stupid and gullible. Which perfectly describes those who would turn down a night in bed with a total babe for religious reasons.

What's wrong with having a little morality?

It doesn't have to be religious reasons also.

And that image in the last post almost made me hurl.

 

[Northstar]

Talk about ownage and fail.

Fox reporter's poll backfires

The margin is even wider since that article has been posted, it's now 73/27.

 

[Solid Lifters]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100604/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_diaper_theft

Dirty Caper

Thu Jun 3, 9:12 pm ET
STEVENS POINT, Wis. – An Amherst man accused of trying to steal dirty diapers from a home has been sentenced to 30 months of probation. Dillon Makuski, 20, was convicted of possession of burglary tools. The Stevens Point Journal reports Makuski also must serve 200 hours of community service and undergo a psycho-sexual examination.

Makuski was detained by the homeowner after entering an Amherst home last September. A Portage County sheriff's deputy found six dirty diapers in Makuski's pockets.

The complaint said Makuski entered the house because he likes to wear diapers and thought there might be some in the house.

According to the complaint, when asked whether he intended to steal dirty diapers, Makuski said "yes."

 

[Touring Mars]

A tangent for this thread - funny soundbites/quotes in the news...

Tonight, an unintentionally hilarious quote from a US Military drone pilot trainer, commenting on the fact that many drone pilot trainees are young recruits, used to idea of remotely controlled weapons through the use of modern video games...

"All that time their mothers were telling them it [game playing] was warping their minds, now it's really paying off for these kids..."

So Mother was wrong - video games don't warp your mind... they just provide you with free training to become assassins...

 

[Famine]

"Thief found on fire"

(not particularly amusing on the face of it, but we have a future Darwin Award winner here)

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

After the shock he turned 1 year older?

 

[Sureboss]

"Thief found on fire"

(not particularly amusing on the face of it, but we have a future Darwin Award winner here)

I was watching the Simpsons earlier, Homer did the exact same thing.

 

[Northstar]

The name's Moe, Moe Lester.

ROCHESTER, Minn. - Officials at Mayo High School in Rochester are trying to scrub a joke name from the recently released yearbook in the last days of the school year.

Students report that a freshman student's name was altered in the book to read "Moe Lester." The name also appears in the index at the back of the book.

The yearbooks came out earlier this month. The Post-Bulletin reports officials have been scrambling to get the 1,000 or so books and make changes, which includes pasting a sticker over the student's name to correctly spell the name.

Mayo officials did not return messages left by the newspaper Tuesday.

The school holds its commencement ceremony Friday night.

What's even funnier is that nobody caught it until after it went out.

Link

 

[Dotini]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lightning_strikes_jesus_statue

In Ohio, a 90 foot high statue of Jesus has been struck by lightning and burned to the ground. Ruled an "Act of God" by the insurance company, the owners will rebuild it with better fireproofing.

 

[boiltheocean]

'fraid I've got no article for this but the headline is enough for some serious laughs.

 

[DK]

/\ I know that paper, it's the Evening Herald, which is a cross between a tabloid and a broadsheet newspaper.

 

[daan]

How do you know it was a man dressed as a snickers bar? Could you see his nuts?

 

[boiltheocean]

How do you know it was a man dressed as a snickers bar? Could you see his nuts?

Ba-dum Tish!

 

[daan]

A prank by an RAF Tornado crew spotted flying with a sign saying "I'm with stupid" has been laughed off by the Ministry of Defence.

The crew, from RAF Lossiemouth, was photographed during a high-speed exercise through hills in Snowdonia.

Plane-spotters captured the navigator holding up a piece of paper with the joke pointing to the pilot.

An RAF spokesman said it was a "light-hearted moment" and insisted the crew had not endangered the aircraft.

Brilliant!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/north_east_orkney_and_shetland/10412257.stm

 

[DQuaN]

I just emailed that around the office about half an hour ago. I should have thought to put it in here!! Brilliant!

I love the fact that they have to insist that they didn't endanger the aircraft!

 

[Omnis]

So Mother was wrong - video games don't warp your mind... they just provide you with free training to become assassins...

Yeah, and ones that are itching and begging to pull the trigger and kill once their machines get deployed.

 

[daan]

I love the fact that they have to insist that they didn't endanger the aircraft!

I noticed that too. It's not as if he was flying it at the time.

But I'm sure he was pressing the big red button that says "do not push" on it, whilst showing his sign.

 

[mafia_boy]

Another one with a funny name for a person.

http://www.news.com.au/technology/theres-no-room-for-sex-in-space-says-astronaut/story-e6frfro0-1225885505136

THERE is no room for romance in the cosy confines of the International Space Station, a NASA space shuttle commander said when asked what would happen if astronauts had sex in space.

"We are a group of professionals," said Space Shuttle Discovery Commander Alan Poindexter during a visit to Tokyo, after a reporter asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where probably no others have been.
"We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not... an issue," said a serious-faced Cdr Poindexter.

"We don't have them and we won't."

Cdr Poindexter and his six crew members, including the first Japanese mother in space Naoko Yamazaki, were in Tokyo to talk about their two-week resupply mission to the International Space Station.

The April voyage broke new ground by putting four women in orbit for the first time, with three female crew members joining one woman already on the station.
Sex in space may appear out of bounds, but astronauts have been known to succumb to earthly passions.

In 2007 former NASA astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak allegedly wore adult diapers when driving hundreds of kilometres across the US without bathroom breaks to confront a suspected rival in a romance with a fellow astronaut.

I wonder if there's a captain dork onboard aswell??

 

[Touring Mars]

Fnar...

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6622I420100703

 

[Omnis]

Fnar...

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6622I420100703

Lol, I always make Gay and Dix jokes when talking about them. Walter Dix went to a rival school of mine when I was on the high school track team. That guy is fast as hell and I knew he'd eventually be better than Tyson.

 

[hambone8611]

That is just too funny.

 

[Dotini]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/england/london/10591601.stm

It's back to the future with royal horse manure.