Funny/Strange News Stories

[Wiegert]

Welcome to Dusseldorf. Sorry, no, Edinburgh.

Or as Ryanair call it: Dusseldorf-Lothian Airport.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Or as Ryanair call it: Dusseldorf-Lothian Airport.

RyanAir's tweet to BA backfired a little...

 

[TexRex]

RyanAir's tweet to BA backfired a little...

You know what they say...people in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.

Same link, by the way.

 

[UKMikey]

Man steals $122 million from Google and Facebook by "just asking them for money".

(Spoiler: it's a fake invoices scam.)

 

[Sander 001]

Mussolini’s granddaughter is in a social media feud with Jim Carrey

https://news.yahoo.com/jim-carrey-t...nis-granddaughter-new-painting-110413975.html

Mussolini herself was elected to a Fascist political party earlier in her career

 

[Joey D]

I thought that was a weird April Fools joke until I actually looked at it. But she sounds delightful, probably takes after dear old granddad.

In another completely absurd thing, Elon Musk has a rap about Harambe.

 

[Obelisk]

This thread is going to be very busy by the end of the day...

 

[TexRex]

"do you want applause?"

 

[Touring Mars]

"do you want applause?"

No, but I have a feeling she might give me The Clap.

 

[TexRex]

No, but I have a feeling she might give me The Clap.

Do what now?

Is that just a gonorrhea reference or is there some additional context and/or deeper meaning that I'm missing?

 

[adamp93]

Part 1: Not particularly absurd or funny, House of Commons finishes sitting due to water leak.
Part 2: Extremely bizarre and hilarious, Uri Geller claims responsibility

 

[EngieDiesel]

Ridgefield, CT admits a "poor decision was made" after the local baseball field is set on fire to "dry the field quicker."



This comes after someone else did the same thing in Utah two days earlier.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Strange story... sex abuse in the Catholic Church is the fault of the 1960s. Good job there was no abuse before that otherwise his theory would be knackered.

 

[TenEightyOne]

The Swiss ludicrously claim that "coffee is not essential for life". Absolute bastards

 

[TexRex]

Strange story... sex abuse in the Catholic Church is the fault of the 1960s. Good job there was no abuse before that otherwise his theory would be knackered.

I mean...just...wow. "Obedience and love for our Lord Jesus Christ" strikes me as the sort of sweet nothing a priest might whisper into the ear of the boy he's taking advantage of.

 

[TenEightyOne]

I mean...just...wow. "Obedience and love for our Lord Jesus Christ" strikes me as the sort of sweet nothing a priest might whisper into the ear of the boy he's taking advantage of.

He's unusual (no kidding) in being a living ex-pope, I'd always thought he'd retired through senile dementia. Now I'm sure of it - but I don't know why they let him talk in public. A possible counter to that is that some parts of the church agree with him and despise the progressiveness of the current pope and so are using him to promote their mad agenda. That's all for another thread I guess

 

[TenEightyOne]

My favourite of today's headlines: Climate Protester Glues Himself to Train.

 

[baldgye]

My favourite of today's headlines: Climate Protester Glues Himself to Train.

He only glued a hand to a window... was kinda hoping for a more comic book style with him off the ground and his whole body glued

 

[TenEightyOne]

Another story, and it's of those great Welsh translation errors. Booze almost given away by accident.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Man is called up for jury duty, struggles to make Jury Service understand that he's the judge.

 

[TenEightyOne]

In cricket news, there's some confusion over exactly what the term "passage of play" means.

 

[EngieDiesel]

An Iowa Internet entrepreneur may be spending the next 20 years in jail after he had his homeless cousin break into someone's home and attempt to steal their website domain name at gunpoint.

CSI's writing staff can only wish they could think up something this off the rails.

 

[UKMikey]

CSI's writing staff can only wish they could think up something this off the rails.

 

[TB]

Jeopardy! contestants can no longer bet, amongst other amounts, $69 (language warning)

For unknown reasons, $420 is still okay.

 

[TexRex]

Jeopardy! contestants can no longer bet, amongst other amounts, $69.

For unknown reasons, $420 is still okay.

Boy Criminy*, that number 69 will sure put a crease in your cassock.

Also, as per the AUP, a mention of language used in the article might be warranted.

*Edit. It suits the other C words in that sentence better.

 

[DG_Silva]

Woman finds a loaf of bread entirely consisting of crusts

I'll leave this crumb of a punfest here...

 

[TexRex]

Only a heel would joke about that.

 

[BobK]

Looks like somebody's half-baked idea of a joke.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Woman finds a loaf of bread entirely consisting of crusts

I'll leave this crumb of a punfest here...

End to end misery, a loaf changing experience.

EDIT: In other news, "The train is now entering the tunnel". Pornography soundtrack played over train's public address system. BBC.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Airport worker so excited by the sight of Frau Merkel's plane that she stops to take a photo. Forgets to put handbrake on.