Funny/Strange News Stories

[TexRex]

Tasteless, just like their food.

It used to be pretty decent. Back when Sheila and I were in college, I'd fill a sub club card getting the cheap veggie sandwich (the produce was good enough that I didn't particularly care about getting meat) and she'd hand it in for a free crab sandwich. Mind you this was in the '90s...well before Jared.

 

[UKMikey]

They’re having a whale of a time. However local fishermen have got a sinking feeling about the developments. A spokesmen for the local fishing boats was quoted stating “we believe something fishy is going on”

Scientists think the occurrences just might be a couple of flukes.

 

[sirjim73]

He's called in all the players for a training kampf.

This one is a couple of months old but I only just heard about it.

Seems like an "orca"-ward situation might be developing as a recent spike in aggressive behaviour among pods of killer whales has resulted in the sinking of three boats in the Strait of Gibraltar.

Orcas have sunk 3 boats in Europe and appear to be teaching others to do the same. But why?

Scientists think a traumatized orca initiated the assault on boats after a "critical moment of agony" and that the behavior is spreading among the population through social learning.

www.livescience.com

They tried to find the offending whales, but unfortunately they had no fin to go on.

Belgian fugitive arrested after stealing inflatable palm tree

The suspect was arrested while riding a bike with an inflatable palm tree that he had stolen during a beach volleyball tournament.

www.brusselstimes.com

Imagine being a fugitive and thinking it's a good idea to steal an inflatable palm tree

Wow, he really blew it!

 

[UKMikey]

They tried to find the offending whales, but unfortunately they had no fin to go on.

Too bad there wasn't anyone around to record footage on their mobies. Perhaps if they had, the authorities would have been able to locate the culprits so they could give them a cetacean. 🐳

Wow, he really blew it!

I'm sure it wasn't long before his excuses started to wear thin.

 

[Famine]

Citing concerns that "news" sites are using AI to scrape Reddit to generate leads for subsequently AI-written articles, World of Warcraft sub-Reddit users make up a story about an upcoming addition to the game they call "Glorbo", hoping it'll get picked up by sites that use AI bots to create articles.

With entirely unsurprising results.

The entire thing consists of the gibberish proper nouns made up by the Redditors. However the best bit in the article by far is:

Reddit user kaefer_kriegerin expresses their excitement, stating, ‘Honestly, this new feature makes me so happy! I just really want some major bot operated news websites to publish an article about this.’ This sentiment is echoed by many other players in the comments

Subsequently, the Redditors rejoice and simultaneously bemoan the fact that this is a thing that happens. And guess what? The very same site writes an article about that as well!

Another user, JordanTH, humorously anticipated an AI scraping the thread itself to write an article about AI scraping threads.

Remarkable.

Both pieces have been subsequently deleted, but a single pair of human eyes even slightly familiar with the topic (capable of operating a search engine) looking at any of this output would have prevented "Z League The Portal" from looking like an absolute clown car...

AI is not a replacement for writers.

 

[PaMu1337]

Citing concerns that "news" sites are using AI to scrape Reddit to generate leads for subsequently AI-written articles, World of Warcraft sub-Reddit users make up a story about an upcoming addition to the game they call "Glorbo", hoping it'll get picked up by sites that use AI bots to create articles.

With entirely unsurprising results.

The entire thing consists of the gibberish proper nouns made up by the Redditors. However the best bit in the article by far is:


Subsequently, the Redditors rejoice and simultaneously bemoan the fact that this is a thing that happens. And guess what? The very same site writes an article about that as well!

Remarkable.

Both pieces have been subsequently deleted, but a single pair of human eyes even slightly familiar with the topic (capable of operating a search engine) looking at any of this output would have prevented "Z League The Portal" from looking like an absolute clown car...

AI is not a replacement for writers.

How long until we get bots on reddit automatically making posts about the bot-created articles, and we get stuck in an infinite loop?

 

[ScottPuss20]

Reddit user kaefer_kriegerin expresses their excitement, stating, ‘Honestly, this new feature makes me so happy! I just really want some major bot operated news websites to publish an article about this.’ This sentiment is echoed by many other players in the comments

I misread sentiment as sentient.

 

[Grayfox]

Spending $20,000 to become a dog.

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/r...g/news-story/ced5e61487e73f28c2cbcc257e4ff746

 

[UKMikey]

Scientists woke up a 46,000-year-old roundworm from Siberian permafrost

The animal is a previously unknown species that may help researchers unlock secrets of surviving harsh environments.

web.archive.org

 

[sirjim73]

Scientists woke up a 46,000-year-old roundworm from Siberian permafrost

The animal is a previously unknown species that may help researchers unlock secrets of surviving harsh environments.

web.archive.org

The thing is...

 

[UKMikey]

The thing is...

One of these days I'm going to have to get around to watching that movie. Luckily (like the scientists in the opening sequence) Google was right on top of it.

 

[Joey D]

COVID-BCE44K

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/01/china/sun-bear-claims-china-hangzhou-zoo-intl-hnk/index.html

Woof woof

 

[UKMikey]

Maybe they're robots in disguise instead?

 

[sirjim73]

Maybe they're robots in disguise instead?

It's in China so we're talking Eastworld instead of Westworld.

 

[ProjectWHaT]

https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/01/china/sun-bear-claims-china-hangzhou-zoo-intl-hnk/index.html

Woof woof

They're just sun bears, which are well known for how they stand on their hind legs

 

[Joey D]

It's just three kids in a bear suit.

 

[Blitz24]

It's just three kids in a bear suit.

So, 9 kids pictured above?

 

[Darla Starch]

It's just three kids in a bear suit.

 

[1241Penguin]

https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/01/china/sun-bear-claims-china-hangzhou-zoo-intl-hnk/index.html

Woof woof

 

[sirjim73]

You'll be telling me next that THIS isn't a real bear...

 

[UKMikey]

You'll be telling me next that THIS isn't a real bear...

That bear was a tough act to "follow" in the ad world but I think the John West guys just about managed it...

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Italian man crushed to death by Grana Padano cheese wheels – DW – 08/07/2023

A broken shelf in a cheese warehouse created a domino effect of falling cheese. Authorities now hope to determine whether the 74-year-old man was killed by one wheel of cheese or multiple.

www.dw.com

"Authorities now hope to determine whether the 74-year-old man was killed by one wheel of cheese or multiple."

That's an interesting/odd thing to emphasize for this article.

 

[sirjim73]

Italian man crushed to death by Grana Padano cheese wheels – DW – 08/07/2023

A broken shelf in a cheese warehouse created a domino effect of falling cheese. Authorities now hope to determine whether the 74-year-old man was killed by one wheel of cheese or multiple.

www.dw.com

"Authorities now hope to determine whether the 74-year-old man was killed by one wheel of cheese or multiple."

That's an interesting/odd thing to emphasize for this article.

Sounds horrible. If he'd just been trapped by them, he could have eaten his way out.

 

[sirjim73]

Texas woman injured after hawk drops snake on her

A passing hawk drops a serpent on Peggy Jones as she mows grass, leading to a three-way struggle.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[TexRex]

Dog Sneaks Into Local Metallica Show

Metallica played a pair of concerts at LA-area SoFi Stadium last weekend. At the latter gig on Sunday, a dog was present to take in the metal legends’ always enjoyable live show.

www.stereogum.com

 

[ScottPuss20]

Dog Sneaks Into Local Metallica Show

Metallica played a pair of concerts at LA-area SoFi Stadium last weekend. At the latter gig on Sunday, a dog was present to take in the metal legends’ always enjoyable live show.

www.stereogum.com

Oh I saw this the other day on Instagram and found it hilarious.

 

[Blitz24]

Oh I saw this the other day on Instagram and found it hilarious.

Even though she gate-crashed the concert, she is still a good girl.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

https://simpleflying.com/air-canada-vomit-seat-apology/

A Delta flight had to turn around to be cleaned after a 'medical issue' apparently involving a passenger having diarrhea 'all the way through' the plane

Delta said a "medical issue" occurred on the plane but did not specify the exact nature of the incident.

www.insider.com

That must've been a pretty crappy flight.

 

[Touring Mars]

Mystery toy gnomes may be burglary ploy, Welsh police warn

Christmas toys that have been appearing in front gardens may have been left to test whether homes are empty

www.theguardian.com

This is the reason why I don't have a door mat.

My neighbours all have door mats, but our block is cleaned every week by private contractors who remove door mats before vacuuming the hallways, but they never replace them properly. Instead of putting them back as they were, they roll them up and stand them next to the door.

It may be totally innocuous to the untrained eye, but to me it was sure-fire indicator (and it turns out a super-accurate one) that the owners of the flat are not there - as a result, it would make sense as a burglar to target those flats, and not one (like mine) with no mat.