Funny/Strange News Stories

[Blitz24]

In America when we see a croc we shove our in it and wear it as a shoe:

Word missing. Needs further evaluation. We may shove turkeys into it.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Word missing. Needs further evaluation. We may shove turkeys into it.

Or ****, to attain the nearly-literal "croc of ****".

 

[Danoff]

Word missing. Needs further evaluation. We may shove turkeys into it.

 

[Blitz24]

Brett Favre!

 

[TenEightyOne]

If a chef presented a turkey like that I'd kick him in the bulwarks. What the hell did he do to it?

 

[FoolKiller]

If a chef presented a turkey like that I'd kick him in the bulwarks. What the hell did he do to it?

Looks fried

 

[Danoff]

If a chef presented a turkey like that I'd kick him in the bulwarks. What the hell did he do to it?

I believe that is a fried turducken, in reference to Blitz's comment. Madden was the originator* of the thankgiving duck inside chicken inside turkey combination.

*If not the originator, he certainly made it famous

 

[prisonermonkeys]

The Australian Prime Minister released his first budget last week. In it, he broke every single election promise that he made last year. Despite mass protests around the country, every single interest group condemning the budget, and massive swings in every single news poll, he insists that his budget is "fundamentally honest". Which would be hilarious if it wasn't so frightening.

But this is the crowning glory - on live radio, he gets challenged by Gloria, a 67-year old sex worker. And Gloria wins:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-...-phone-sex-grandmother-on-local-radio/5467122

 

[TenEightyOne]

The Australian Prime Minister released his first budget last week. In it, he broke every single election promise that he made last year. Despite mass protests around the country, every single interest group condemning the budget, and massive swings in every single news poll, he insists that his budget is "fundamentally honest". Which would be hilarious if it wasn't so frightening.

But this is the crowning glory - on live radio, he gets challenged by Gloria, a 67-year old sex worker. And Gloria wins:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-...-phone-sex-grandmother-on-local-radio/5467122

Ew, that wink...

 

[Danoff]

The Australian Prime Minister released his first budget last week. In it, he broke every single election promise that he made last year. Despite mass protests around the country, every single interest group condemning the budget, and massive swings in every single news poll, he insists that his budget is "fundamentally honest". Which would be hilarious if it wasn't so frightening.

But this is the crowning glory - on live radio, he gets challenged by Gloria, a 67-year old sex worker. And Gloria wins:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-...-phone-sex-grandmother-on-local-radio/5467122

Funny how people campaign on being able to give everyone handouts and then realize there is no money to do it. Turns out you actually have to work to pay for the stuff you want.

 

[LeMansAid]

I believe that is a fried turducken, in reference to Blitz's comment. Madden was the originator* of the thankgiving duck inside chicken inside turkey combination.

*If not the originator, he certainly made it famous

Surplus of five letters in your post: u, c, k, e, and n. Without them we end up with the far more accurate..... fried turd.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Surplus of five letters in your post: u, c, k, e, and n. Without them we end up with the far more accurate..... fried turd.

I saw fried turd too!

And then the word looked like it as well (Here all week )

 

[DK]

I believe that is a fried turducken, in reference to Blitz's comment. Madden was the originator* of the thankgiving duck inside chicken inside turkey combination.

*If not the originator, he certainly made it famous

Birdception? [*insert Inception noise here*]

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Funny how people campaign on being able to give everyone handouts and then realize there is no money to do it.

It's not so much that they realised they ran out of money, but rather that they built their entire election campaign on the idea that they were honest and transparent. It doesn't help that two days before delivering a budget that saw massive cuts to welfare and pensions, effectively brought about an end to universal health care, increased the fuel excise tax and slashed education spending, the treasurer and Minister for Small Business were caught smoking Cuban cigars.

We may have a budget deficit, but that was mostly because of the Global Financial Crisis, and the previous government handled that well. The current government has a point when they say that the budget needs to be sustainable, but their problem is that they are trying to bring the budget back to surplus in an unsustainable way, because they are treating the promise of a budget in surplus as an exercise in scoring political points, rather than economic management.

But then, this is a government who appointed a man who is proud of holding the record for being ejected from parliament (which takes some pretty shameful, unruly behavior to do it once) to be Leader of the House, which should tell you everything you need to know about them. He is probably the most-hated person in the country right now, but wears it as a badge of honour. The whole thing would be a comedy of errors if it weren't so serious, but these people insist that they are right and then offer nothing but their own convictions as proof of it, which makes them dangerous.

 

[Mikeybc]

Ran across this today...when nerds get high.

http://gawker.com/high-elf-high-on-acid-attacks-womans-bmw-with-a-sword-1579493237

 

[TenEightyOne]

Cow Slurry Fetishist Jailed.

The BBC explain that he started his reign of mid-turd sexual terror by "taking little pats". Yes, thank you BBC, I think we all know how masturbation works.

Here all week.

 

[Lizard]

Cow Slurry Fetishist Jailed.

The BBC explain that he started his reign of mid-turd sexual terror by "taking little pats". Yes, thank you BBC, I think we all know how masturbation works.

Here all week.

Pats are what we call the cow 🤬. It isn't describing how he masturbated.

 

[TenEightyOne]

The BBC explain that he started his reign of mid-turd sexual terror by "taking little pats". Yes, thank you BBC, I think we all know how masturbation works.

Here all week.

Pats are what we call the cow 🤬. It isn't describing how he masturbated.

Oh, gosh, thanks for pointing that out!

Having softened the pats perhaps it's time for the phrase "Here All Week" to receive the warmth of your intellectual searchlight?

 

[TenEightyOne]

This is from 2007 but for some reason has ridden up Aunty's sidebar; Bicycle Sex Man Placed on Probation

 

[axletramp]

Scotland. No wonder it took a year for anyone to notice.

 

[Touring Mars]

The body is on a double yellow line... it's frankly amazing that the Edinburgh parking wardens didn't spot this within seconds.

 

[Dennisch]

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/crime...brutally-spin-elderly-woman-article-1.1746847

I am an awful person. I laughed so hard.

So awful. But so funny.

 

[Touring Mars]

Why do I get the feeling this video might end up as part of a party political broadcast of behalf of UKIP?

 

[1241Penguin]

I'm sorry.

http://globalnews.ca/news/1396618/m...otched-penis-surgery-claims-penis-is-shorter/

 

[TenEightyOne]

The body is on a double yellow line... it's frankly amazing that the Edinburgh parking wardens didn't spot this within seconds.

They should have dropped a cigarette-end next to it, they'd have been all over it before the smoke blew away.

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/crime...brutally-spin-elderly-woman-article-1.1746847

I am an awful person. I laughed so hard.

So awful. But so funny.

I love* this, sent it to most of my friends last week. I'm ashamed to say... but my two eldest daughters liked it the best. What have I done? * secretly proud Dad *


*Horrified, I am, horrified. Heheheh

 

[prisonermonkeys]

You only live once, but then, so does your passenger:

http://www.speedcafe.com/2014/06/17/man-arrested-disrupting-race-brands/

The story is serious, but his reaction is hilarious, if only because he's so serious.

 

[TenEightyOne]

You only live once, but then, so does your passenger:

http://www.speedcafe.com/2014/06/17/man-arrested-disrupting-race-brands/

The story is serious, but his reaction is hilarious, if only because he's so serious.

Already posted in Motorsports and in its own thread somewhere, I think. My mate Dan was there and got to appear on South West TV (will the excitement never start? ) as a "racing expert", I'll dig out the links in a while

But yeah, crazy stuff

 

[prisonermonkeys]

One of my students once tried to get out of trouble with a similar "you only live once" excuse. So I immediately came back with "yes, but you can have detention for the rest of the week".

 

[prisonermonkeys]

The CIA tried to create an Osama bin Laden action figure that would transform into a demon:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-06-21/cia-planned-osama-bin-laden-demon-doll/5540580

 

[nk4e]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/dr-chet-w...icially-condemns-james-franco-and-seth-rogan/
The Supreme Leader, Kim Jong un condems James Franco and Seth Rogan.
Seth Rogan replies

Apparently Kim Jong Un plans on watching #TheInterview. I hope he likes it!!