Honestly right now I don't even feel like racing anymore. I'm sure that will probably change but meh.
Going into the chase, I really didn't have any expectations. A long string of mediocre results from basically the 3rd race on. I only won Daytona because of a lucky lag bump, and only finished 2nd at SSRX because we missed the wreck. The constant fighting and bickering and dealing with Furi, as well as seeing Nationwide fall apart in front of me, and basically be accused if cheating all added up, and there were honestly plenty of times were I felt like not showing up. But I didn't want to let the team down, and I didn't want to see this go away after Tom and Drop quit, so I did.
Then I guess everyone knows what happened before the first chase race. The only reason I kept going after that was because I figured itd be better for me than just doing nothing. Just ride around and clear my head.
Then I won Motegi. That changed everything. At first, it felt like everything that happened before was over. I felt more relived than anything. Then I realized that I could actually win the whole thing, and on came the pressure again.
SSRX was a disaster. Botched pitstop led to more fighting, more bickering, turning people against me, etc. Back to where I was before. But I still felt I could win. I wasn't going to let Furi of all people ruin it for me.
Daytona was much better, result wise. Everything went to plan, everything happened that needed to happen. Except Carb and Furi still felt like they'd try to ruin it for me. So that didn't actually relieve anything, and I only put even more pressure on myself to win tonight.
By this point, I figured everyone would sooner see Akmuq win than me. None of the Toyotas liked me, Carb and Furi both very vocal about it. I pretty much assumed that It would be everyone against Ford today, and that's exactly what it was. Everyone on the other teams ended up working together against us at some point. But we still didn't let it affect us. Everything still went to plan. We were going to win.
Then Joe and I realized we didn't put enough fuel in.
Then I ran out with 2 to go.
Then I choked. My one chance at winning, gone just like that. I didn't think I could do it before the race. Then when the race was happened, I kept telling myself that I could. But, like usual, I let myself down. It's a really ****** feeling, to be honest.
Joe, kartman and Drop were the best teammates I could have asked for. If it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't have even made the chase, let alone come within 2 laps of winning it. Drop especially taught me pretty much everything about figuring out fuel strategy; something I was terrible at in Season 3. I took his 400 numbers and halved it. But I was just 5 litres short. Owens and Dragon on the Nationwide side were also great. We used their setup today and it was awesome. I have no idea if they'll see this, or want to race at all next season, but I want to thank all 5 of you. We all did great.