- 7,703
- Indy
- xXKingJoshXx
It depends on how you take it I guess. It was funny in 6th grade...
Jokes!!
- Thread starter DQuaN
- 4,701 comments
- 725,143 views
- 2,335
- United States
- Dooblewasur
- Dooblewasur
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
"Robin! Get in the Batmobile!"
Time to get my coat.
"Robin! Get in the Batmobile!"
Time to get my coat.
- 6,694
- Dallas, TX
I wouldn't be surprised if Jenny filed a lawsuit against Tommy Tutone for exposing her number nationwide.
- 12,513
- Ireland
- The__Luke
Liverpool FC are set to gain from a new television deal, all their matches will be shown on Comedy Central with repeats on Dave
---
(I think this, or something similar, was on an episode of the Royal Family)
Elvis died on the toilet. After all those number 1's, it was a number 2 which killed him!
---
(I think this, or something similar, was on an episode of the Royal Family)
Elvis died on the toilet. After all those number 1's, it was a number 2 which killed him!
- 205
- United States
- jpressley101
My aunt always told me that slow and steady wins the race. She died in a house fire.
- 5,551
- Controls set for heart of sun
- GTP_RogerTheHors
Why did the Porsche 911 cross the road?
Because the owner was driving too quickly around a slippery wet corner when suddenly the rear engined configuration came back to bite him and the car span across the road into a tree.
Because the owner was driving too quickly around a slippery wet corner when suddenly the rear engined configuration came back to bite him and the car span across the road into a tree.
- 15,855
- QLD, Australia
- Small_Fryz
- 15,855
- QLD, Australia
- Small_Fryz
Its so silly but I still laugh 
- 2,335
- United States
- Dooblewasur
- Dooblewasur
This is less of a straight up joke and more of a funny story, so I apologize but I bet you'll laugh.
Recently I bought a MacBook Pro and for some reason--I still can't tell--I get a very acute pain in my forearm occasionally while I'm typing and resting my arm on the computer. It's either a pinch or a shock, most likely a pinch, but I've been looking into it.
And bumped into THIS.
Californians, dear me.
Recently I bought a MacBook Pro and for some reason--I still can't tell--I get a very acute pain in my forearm occasionally while I'm typing and resting my arm on the computer. It's either a pinch or a shock, most likely a pinch, but I've been looking into it.
And bumped into THIS.
Californians, dear me.
- 735
- pennslyvania,US
- che69velle
What do you get if you hit an Audi with a tractor?
an inny
Lol lame body shop joke for those who don't get it audi/outty and inny slang for belly buttons
an inny
Lol lame body shop joke for those who don't get it audi/outty and inny slang for belly buttons
- 15,855
- QLD, Australia
- Small_Fryz
Tom and his hot wife were playing golf when the ball suddenly goes inside a house.
They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.
Man: I want to thank you. I am genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle.
I will give you each 1 wish, and I will keep 1 for myself.
Tom: I want a billion dollars.
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world.
Genie: Done. Done.
Tom : And what is your wish genie?
Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.
Tom said: Emm Ok! You'll get us a lot of money. I guess I don't mind.
The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours.
After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband?
Wife answers: 35.
Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories!!!
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them."We have reached ".
The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us!". . .
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a
shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my
daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.
Man: I want to thank you. I am genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle.
I will give you each 1 wish, and I will keep 1 for myself.
Tom: I want a billion dollars.
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world.
Genie: Done. Done.
Tom : And what is your wish genie?
Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.
Tom said: Emm Ok! You'll get us a lot of money. I guess I don't mind.
The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours.
After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband?
Wife answers: 35.
Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories!!!
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them."We have reached ".
The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But he asked "whats that for?". The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us!". . .
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a
shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my
daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
- 29,361
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
Hamburgers is an anagram for 'Shergar's Bum'...
- 15,855
- QLD, Australia
- Small_Fryz
Can somobody fill in an Australian on wtf you guys are on about
Wiegert
Premium
- 13,393
- United Kingdom
Can somobody fill in an Australian on wtf you guys are on about
Tesco beefburgers aren't 100% beef. Shocker.
- 2,335
- United States
- Dooblewasur
- Dooblewasur
What's red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry.
A naughty strawberry.
- 5,301
- Tijuana, B.C.
- MRT_Cinnamon
My future-self is cheering me up to continue studying, of course, he's doing nothing at the employment line
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