Jokes!!
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RocZX
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A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom.
“Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!” The woman chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky.
He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom.
“Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!” The woman chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky.
He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”
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I think the point of this thread has escaped y'all
RocZX
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A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.”
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack.”
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.”
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack.”
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My chemistry teacher had an accident while separating some metal ores, and sadly lost his legs. After surgery and recovery, it was time to choose some prosthetics. He wasn't comfortable with the normal ones on offer, and preferred the ones drawn by a Japanese cartoonist - so now he has Manganese.
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More like stocking overflower 
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Ask somebody in real life what to do at a stop sign. Once they say "stop", immediately ask them, "So then what do you do at a red light?" There's a good 50% chance they'll say "go" since it's the opposite of "stop" (including me the first time)
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The only time you should be worried during a prostate exam is if both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders
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