- 2,308
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- monkeylima
GT6 will get a track editor as soon as I become a moderator
Jokes!!
- Thread starter DQuaN
- 4,703 comments
- 725,473 views
Dragonwhisky
Premium
- 7,105
- the land of green, hills, rocks & whiskey
- Dragonwhisky
That did make me
.Sorry.
Does that mean if GT6 does get a track creator Jordan must make you a moderator?
- 2,308
- United States
- monkeylima
Though that would be nice I doubt he would.That did make me
Sorry.
Does that mean if GT6 does get a track creator Jordan must make you a moderator?
Dragonwhisky
Premium
- 7,105
- the land of green, hills, rocks & whiskey
- Dragonwhisky
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
- 29,960
- Bratvegas
- GTP_Liquid
Fun fact: He never said that on any episode of Cheers ever.
- 4,019
- Riga
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF JEEPING
1. Thou shalt not dismantle jeep engines in thy living room.
2. Thou shalt not pirate parts from thy family auto for use on thy jeep.
3. Thou shalt not park thy jeep in the garage and let thy family car sit out in the rain.
4. Thou shalt not use thy grocery money to repair thy jeep.
5. Thou shalt stay home at least once a year to mow thy lawn.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy jeep and forsake thy wife and children.
7. Thou shalt not take strange and beautiful girls for moonlight jeeping trips - unless they are married to you.
8. Thou shalt not steel thy wife's black lace undies to use for oil rags when thou breakest down.
9. Thou shalt not look at new vehicles until thou has paid at least one payment on thine own.
10. Thou shalt wash thy family car once for each fifteen times thou washest thy jeep.
1. Thou shalt not dismantle jeep engines in thy living room.
2. Thou shalt not pirate parts from thy family auto for use on thy jeep.
3. Thou shalt not park thy jeep in the garage and let thy family car sit out in the rain.
4. Thou shalt not use thy grocery money to repair thy jeep.
5. Thou shalt stay home at least once a year to mow thy lawn.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy jeep and forsake thy wife and children.
7. Thou shalt not take strange and beautiful girls for moonlight jeeping trips - unless they are married to you.
8. Thou shalt not steel thy wife's black lace undies to use for oil rags when thou breakest down.
9. Thou shalt not look at new vehicles until thou has paid at least one payment on thine own.
10. Thou shalt wash thy family car once for each fifteen times thou washest thy jeep.
- 1,759
- NZ
Found
On
Rubbish
Dump
On another note, this joke might only be understood by New Zealanders and Australians.
This is a Ford country, and on a quiet night you can hear the sounds of Holdens rusting.
(I have a photo somewhere of of this on a Ford. Must find it.)
- 29,374
- Glasgow
- GTP_Mars
I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
- 269
- Kaz's closet
- GT_Saint3s
One day heaven started getting full so god decided to only let in people with the most tragic deaths.
When the first man arrived at the gates, god said "how did you die?"
The man said "Today decided to leave from work early because I suspected that my wife was cheating on me. When I came home I saw a man hanging from the balcony of my 22nd story apartment, and out of rage I picked up a hammer and smashed the mans fingers. The man fell from the balcony but landed in bushes and survived so I pushed my refrigerator off the edge of the balcony and crushed him with it. But then I had a heart attack from the stress."
God approved and let the man enter.
When the next man came, god asked, "how did you die?"
The man said "I was doing yoga on my 23rd story apartment balcony but then I fell off the balcony. Luckily, I managed to catch the 22nd story apartment balcony rail and save myself, but then a maniac with a sledge hammer crushed my fingers and made me fall. I landed in some bushes, but then a fridge fell on me and I died"
God approved and let the man enter.
When the next man came, god asked "how did you die?"
The man said "Ok, so I was hiding in a fridge naked..."
When the first man arrived at the gates, god said "how did you die?"
The man said "Today decided to leave from work early because I suspected that my wife was cheating on me. When I came home I saw a man hanging from the balcony of my 22nd story apartment, and out of rage I picked up a hammer and smashed the mans fingers. The man fell from the balcony but landed in bushes and survived so I pushed my refrigerator off the edge of the balcony and crushed him with it. But then I had a heart attack from the stress."
God approved and let the man enter.
When the next man came, god asked, "how did you die?"
The man said "I was doing yoga on my 23rd story apartment balcony but then I fell off the balcony. Luckily, I managed to catch the 22nd story apartment balcony rail and save myself, but then a maniac with a sledge hammer crushed my fingers and made me fall. I landed in some bushes, but then a fridge fell on me and I died"
God approved and let the man enter.
When the next man came, god asked "how did you die?"
The man said "Ok, so I was hiding in a fridge naked..."
- 636
- Alexandria, MN
- TurboLefty78
- 1,552
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- ScorchingAngel01
Rayquazas can't drive S2000s
*Deadpool pops out of no where*
*Deadpool pops out of no where*
- 30,033
- Thailand
Please abstain from nonsense if you don't have a joke to tell. The lure of this thread is the funniness and as the crap piles up the funniness decreases. Luckily, LeMansAid had posted something worth a chuckle otherwise I would have wasted a click to visit this thread.
Roo
Premium
- 7,444
- Hampshire, UK
- GTP_Roo
An 89 year old man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
- 2,865
- Australia
I know it's terrible, but whenever I think of Jackass' Ryan Dunn dying in a car accident I can't help imagining Johnny Knoxville doing the eulogy at the funeral in his thick Texas accent - "Ryan Dunn died in a car crash".
"Unfortunately he only spoke hillbilly" - Jeremy Clarkson
"Unfortunately he only spoke hillbilly" - Jeremy Clarkson
- 5,649
- North Dakota
- RacingCowboy570
- RacingCowboy570
Two people are arguing if Hawaii is pronounced Hawaii or Havaii. Finally, one of the people walks around and asks a stranger about the pronunciation, and he says "Havaii". The person says " thank you", then the stranger says "you're velcome".
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