So…a tarmac-tuned rally car eh? I’m genuinely curious to see if it can match proper track-honed race cars, but that’s later. First, the boring stages of ‘before and after’.
Toyota Celica GT-Four WRC review-
Before-
It’s a rally car, which means it should be scary loud, piss-your-pants fast and very sideways in the corners. But it’s also a Toyota, and we know what that means. Snore, snore, snore, boredom, no power and not much fun. Unfortunately, this car seems to embrace its badge more than its purpose. It isn’t that fast, it isn’t loud, it isn’t very sideways and it’s rather dull. Very Toyota-like. And the final nail in the coffin, my dad said it looked like a HK taxi, which is also a Toyota. So, doesn’t look purposeful, doesn’t go very fast, sounds like microphone being shoved up someone’s *** while they are farting and doesn’t really handle. I think you’re beginning to understand what this car is like to drive. And though it pains me to say, it is a bit of a garish ricer, isn’t it? Still, ricer or not, I still had to drive it. Fuji Speedway F, 5 lap race, see what’s what. Surprisingly, its best lap time was a 1:58.374, which isn’t mind-blowing. But more surprisingly, it only won by a margin of 0.114 seconds, and the car in second was nothing more than a MR2! A big disappointment, this, but then it wasn’t meant for the smooth tarmac of Fuji, it was built primarily to run on the rough terrain that makes up the WRC rally stages. It was built to tackle gravel, snow and ice. So holding an expectation for it to deliver on well paved, organised tracks is a bit too high a hope. Still, it could have done better.
After-
Rally cars adapted to run on tarmac don’t really drive well. In fact they are mostly terrible. Not this one though. The brakes don’t feel like they’re coated in oil, it actually stops you. Not always, but better than nothing. The acceleration has improved, not blistering, but it’ll do for 305hp. Corner exit speeds is where this car shines though, it can pick up so much quicker than before, less waiting around for the engine to wake up. But it still doesn’t leave that much of a lasting impression on me. It’s just a car. Maybe loud, maybe good all rounder, but I’m not too sold on it. Lap time wise, it did a 1:55.107, a 3 second improvement, but not something to bark about. You know, it’s quite a disappointment…wait, actually hang on, I’m reviewing this all wrong, I’m comparing it to cars that are worth exactly the same or costs 100,000cr less like a LFA. What I should be doing, is find a way around the problem, drive it in a way which will bring out the most of this car. And to do that, you have to treat it like what it is. A rally car. May be converted to run on tracks, but it’s still a rally car. As such, driving style needs to adapt to suit this car’s needs. Ruthless aggression, as quick as you dare go in, sideways out seems to fit it. But because I’m not driving god nor rally god, I failed. Spectacularly in fact. 90 degrees sideways into the first turn on Fuji, I clip the apex just as a Subaru Impreza collides with the WRC’s nose, causing catastrophic understeer and one whole lap of foul words and swearing, in both English and Cantonese (I only swear in Cantonese if I’m properly pissed, shows you the scale of the accident). It has the capabilities to do mental laps, it has all the ingredients there, but there’s just one rather vital ingredient missing, a good driver. And the useless little idiot writing this now isn’t. Not by a long shot.
Lap times: (Tested on Fuji Speedway F)
1:58.374 (before)
1:55.107 (after)
Now, to answer my question at the start. Is it a match for a proper track tuned racer. Well we can only find out. Best of 3, whichever side gets the most points wins. If the Celica wins, I get to play my joker with JTGC cars, if it loses, then we know its limits.
Celica GT-Four WRC vs Touring Cars-
We’ll start gently, with a time attack against a C-West Silvia, which will be running on sport hard tires. With 311hp and weighing just 1150kg, this is a good benchmark to see how good the Celica is. And the Celica has already won its first battle in terms of sound. While it may sound like someone breaking wind, it’s better than the tractor imitation the C-West makes. It sounds so unrefined until you’re pass 6500prm, but then you need to change up, because although it can rev pass 7000, you run out of punch a 6000, and then the dull drone starts all over again. The Silvia isn’t that great to drive either, twitchy under braking, back ridiculously loose at times and will wear you out trying to catch it after a while. But it’s the noise really that drives you insane. It’s an appalling attempt to sound like a V8, clattering like a diesel until you’ve had enough. Which was about 1 and a half laps. Best time (or rather only time) was a 1:57.979. Safe to say, the Celica is going to walk it. And it does, with a lap time of 1:56.121, over a second quicker in the same 1 and a half laps. It also has more grip than the c-west, is much more controlled and doesn’t sound like farmyard machinery. In fact, the fight was over by the exit of the second corner. After that, the Silvia didn’t even show up in the mirrors for the best part of half a lap before catching up slightly on the straight. So, Celica 1, Touring Cars 0.
Ok, Let’s raise the bar a bit, with a BMW 320i Touring Car, boosted to 325hp and weighing marginally lighter than the Silvia, it’s a step up from the C-West without being too ridiculous a target. Again, it’ll be running on sport hard tires to make it a leveled fight. And from the moment it takes the first corner, you know that this is nothing like the Silvia. It sounds nicer for a start, smoother, more refined. It’s also much more controlled in the corners, very composed with a mild/wild drift towards the exit. It does have a flaw though, and it’s one that’ll affect you a lot on the straight. It doesn’t have 6th! You’d think as the ‘ultimate driving machine‘ they’d give you 6 gears to play with, but no. You’re stuck with 5. Thank you for that, BMW, thank you so much…Still, that’s just one little niggle. The rest of this car is pretty much flawless in terms of handling. It does give you too much confidence at times, you head towards a tight chicane doing 130mph, you don’t think ‘ARGHHH!!! I”M GOING INTO A TURN AT 130MPH!!! I’M GOING TO DIE!!!’, you just think ‘Oh god, I might need to slow down a bit.’ And then you very promptly run right off the track because you got over confident with it. It makes you think you’re god, but doesn’t have the abilities to make you go like god at the wheel. And it’s the same thing with the lap times. You look at the stats and think that it’ll be faster, but then you drive a lap and go ‘Oh, where’d that come from? Was I sleeping, why’s it so slow?’. A 1:57.331 was all it could manage, but baring in mind that it was just slightly more powerful and just 10kg lighter, that time is expected. Just a tad bit of a disappointment. I didn’t run a lap in the WRC because the lap time the BMW set just wasn’t challenging enough. So 2 to the WRC and 0 to touring cars.
So the Celica has won. Which means it’s the big boys now. The GT500 class JGTC monsters of the world. For this test, we’ll leave Fuji behind, and head to Germany. To the Nurburgring Nordschleife, a true tarmac rally stage. Now, my opponents-
CLK Touring Car
ER34 D1 Spec
Yellowhat Supra
Zonda LM Race Car
FTO Super Touring Car
Petronas Tom’s SC430
Celica GT-Four WRC (Me)
Epson NSX
Ford Falcon XR8
Nissan GTR Concept Race Car
Loctite Mugen NSX
Castrol Mugen NSX
Ok, that’s them sorted. Now for my challenge. Looking at the grid, they’re some cars that are obviously out of my reach (Zonda LM mainly), so I’m going to pick 2 cars to race, if I beat them to the check point entering the straight at the end, I win. Simple. So what did I choose? The ER34 D1 and the FTO Touring car. Right, rolling start, starting in 7th. The flag drops, and we set off riding on a wave of race-tuned engines being revved to within an inch of their lives. Instantly, the power disadvantage shows as the SC430 just pulls away like a train, and for the first time ever, I look in the mirror to see a group of cars bunched up in a traffic jam behind me. I wasn’t bothered though, because through the corners, this throws its weight and tire disadvantages out the window and just charges through them without a seconds thought. The Epson NSX tried to pass on the outside through the tight first section, but to no avail. I, on the other hand, dived for 6th, making the most of every scrap of the grip that the little Celica had. It ducked and dived, desperate to get ahead, flying over the curbs in a few rally-like moves until all the gap the SC430 had had been reduced to a half a second lead. But as we soar over Flugplatz, the power advantage of all my rivals begins to play its role and the gap between us widened again. The Celica held its place in 7th though, sitting no more than a second behind the Lexus, waiting for a chance to pounce. Heading into Aremberg, it braked far too early, bunching up with the front pack, and the WRC made its move. A blind stab at the inside was all that was needed. but it hit the FTO and lost ground, running wide into the gravel and giving the Lexus a chance regain some dignity and a place. Not so fast though. It 4WD means the GT-Four scrambles out of the dirt and back in its place in 6th. It’s downhill now heading to Fuchsröhre, which means power isn’t top priority, but control. And here the Celica starts to shine. Quickly skipping over the curbs where the wide-arched, be-winged monster Lexus would plunder through, the GT-Four mounts a charge for the FTO, determined to prove its worth. Out of Fuchsröhre and still dancing over curbs, the WRC is now all over the FTO, eating away at its ever-shrinking lead. Through Adenauer Forst, the FTO takes the wrong line and runs wide, nearly onto the grass. And in 1…2…3 seconds, the Celica is in 5th. 1 down, one to go. The ER34 is conveniently placed just in front, I set off in hot pursuit. Smoking the tires, drifting out of corners, pushing as hard as I can to get by, I run out of track in Metzgesfeld and brush the door on the crash barrier. Damn! All that effort wasted! Down in 8th now! But luckily, neither the me or the Celica was a quitter and we made short work of the JGTC cars now ahead. Sideways into Wehrseifen, I shove the FTO from the line, I have no time for clean driving at this point. The Celica drifts around the FTO and catapults its way towards 4th. At this point, the lead 3 were in a fight of their own, far up front. So passing the ER34 would put me ‘first’ in our three car race. So nearly there, we (me and the Celica) give our all. Lined up for the pass, the Blitz brakes early, giving us a chance to strike. The Celica goes on two wheels and lunges at the ER34, landing on all four wheels as the tires make contact with the curbs. The landing causes irretrievable understeer, and a yank on the handbrake to save the nose was all I could to to prevent it from a head-on collision with the unforgiving wall. The rear bumper trades paint with the concrete barrier as the ER34 battles to keep 4th. Side by side, it was a late braking contest, and with the WRC’s superior brakes, we can guess who won. Yep, it was me. The Blitz span out into the FTO, blocking traffic behind me. They are never did catch up. Good. More time to enjoy the car. This is an amazing car. The Celica can grip so hard it can give sport hard tires racing hard levels of grip. It’s a car that is both forgiving and demanding. A car that can put up a fight with JGTC cars through corners. And for that, you just have to admire it. May not look the best, may not have god-fearing power, doesn’t matter. It’ll win you over with how hard it can fight. And it’ll give you some of the greatest thrills, but in the safe knowledge that it’ll take care of the spills. You know, the 'Ring is a strange place. It can reveal flaws in cars that are said to be flawless, and it can make even the most flawed and awful car shine. The latter has happened here. What I considered to be a boring, middle-of-the-road mix of a rally and track racer was turned into something I treasure now as a driving and tuning masterpiece. And with the sun setting on this magical place, I'll end here and say, and this applies to both the track and the car, that it is, quite simply, an experience like no other. It's magnificent.