The Book of Turismo

[bluexterra]

Blue one,

I am not so exalted as The Black One for it is He who canst add thee, I am but a humble monastic Turismite who hath been granted the ways of the Turbo.

Schwartz,

The Blue One wishes to join

Apex

Yea, Schwartz must addeth me to the list because he is the most original of the turismites

 

[Schwartz]

Yea, Schwartz must addeth me to the list because he is the most original of the turismites

That I am, young Nordschleifer.

OP updated.

 

[HP]

That I am, young Nordschleifer.

OP updated.

So let it be written, so let it be done, Bluex is the latest Turismite son.

Apex

 

[leepangfu]

Thou shall not drive the Prius!

 

[Schwartz]

Bedtime Prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.

Very nice (and original). Added to the OP. Its great to see you are already contributing. 👍

 

[rb240tuner]

Please addeth me to thy list for thine self has been a Turismite since 1997 upon the first demo.

 

[HP]

Thou shall not drive the Prius!

Heresy!!!

Thou shalt drive ALL cars for they are given by Him!

As written in the Holy Heathen Handbook:

Chapter 1: To drive or not to drive? That is the question:

For thee shall test & tune all cars for they shalt give thee epic victory or epic fun. There is no car too slow, no car too slow & no car too heavy*... Heed my words for no car shall be left behind...

*It is recommended that thou raceth the Car of Tank with friends at Monaco at least once in thine life.

Apex

 

[Schwartz]

Holy Heathen Handbook

Thats... ummm... Really cheesy.

 

[HP]

Thats... ummm... Really cheesy.

Then mine intent was successful

 

[leepangfu]

Heresy!!!

Thou shalt drive ALL cars for they are given by Him!

As written in the Holy Heathen Handbook:

Chapter 1: To drive or not to drive? That is the question:

For thee shall test & tune all cars for they shalt give thee epic victory or epic fun. There is no car too slow, no car too slow & no car too heavy*... Heed my words for no car shall be left behind...

*It is recommended that thou raceth the Car of Tank with friends at Monaco at least once in thine life.

Apex

But my lord. I've tested it on the Holy Nordschleife (see the link in my sig, even have a reference to the devil in my review ) and it is unworthy to be driven by the believers!

 

[HP]

But my lord. I've tested it on the Holy Nordschleife (see the link in my sig, even have a reference to the devil in my review ) and it is unworthy to be driven by the believers!

Some cars are sent to test us my son...

Kaz did spend 40 days and 40 nights on the Holy Nürbürgring in a Prius and he did near falter & submit to the offerings of the Great Forza who offered him a plethora of fine fast cars. Kaz did nay relent & drove onward in His Hybrid and Forza did offer him one last tempting tease... "Take this bull of the red Kaz and ye shall never be slow".

But Kaz knew the Forza for what he is and sayeth "Keep thine offering Horned One for mine Hybrid shall I keep ere I leave this place and then I shall create mine own Redbull and I shall give them to all mine Followers just to spite thee... I shall gift them to all children too & they shall use them unwisely but in defiance of thee & it shall be grand defiance indeed!"

This legend shall ye all heed and give not thine ire to thine Prius

Apex

 

[Recon]

Add me to the lists of Turismists. I think I'm ready for a personal change.

Edit: Excellent! Thou shall be disappointed.

 

[rb240tuner]

Lord now let your driver go in peace. Your race has been won. Mine eyes has have seen the shine of thy trophy.

 

[Michelin]

Schwartz38, I beseech thee - add me to thine list of followers.
Apex, brothers.

 

[rb240tuner]

In the beginning was Gran Turismo, and Gran Turismo was with Kaz and Gran Turismo was Kaz.

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

But my lord. I've tested it on the Holy Nordschleife (see the link in my sig, even have a reference to the devil in my review ) and it is unworthy to be driven by the believers!

Fellow brother, you must useth the holy petrol oil to clean the heathen out of ye Prius and cleanse it with a car wash in the Land of GT Autos to fully restore ye car to the just and trueth machines of the Lord Kaz.

Hear thy words from the Car Gods, they giveth thee the words to say:

Be gone you demon, that have taken over thy machine under the supreme dynasty of the machines.

Thou shall cast your heathenism out of the innocent car that dosen't deserve you vile plague that control.

Be gone!!! (spray or pour the holy water)

Use this my fellow brothers, to save the machines and to bring them to their glory that Kaz and the Car Gods enstilled inside them.

May the Turbo be with you.

Apex.

 

[W3H5]

Bedtime Prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.

Apex, brother.

​

 

[Hayden]

And he did testeth the people of Europa and New Holden* by withholding the sun from setting on 2.02. Whilst thy citizens fasted, their brothers from seas abroad did but taunt causething thy Holdenites & Ferrarytes to become frustrate.

Im in Melbourne and still no update, what is up with them.

No update in Italy yet
raaaaaaaaage

still nothing in Aus yet!!!
been online in lobbies and everything
WEIRD???????
done the seasonals and purchased things in the OCD!!!
but no update

Where the **** is my update PD?

As thy cries went but unanswered and the sands trickled through thy holy Spec-glass more and more Holdenites became annoyed, requesting any scrap they could get which might make the fasting worth.

Can anyone test or post a pic of the new home themes and colours?

But thy foreign brothers did not reply, for they had been in-drawn toeth the sound of the Vanquish and the beauty of the Jaguar (free from it's sin-stick advertisements) and and the wing of thy holy Aventador

The Aston's sound is a lot better than the DB9. Has a slight snarl to it...

The Aston sounds promising, much better than the DB9.....

The Aston sound really nice. Specially in mid revs.

The XJR-9 is sex on wheels... it's gorgeous!!!

...To me the purple and yellow livery is iconic and I think its one of the best looking race cars ever.

The aventators spoiler... Holy cow....

Whilstwhile the Holdenites And Europan's could but wait, forever praying for Him to let the sun set and a new sun to rise. The sun of the 2.03

Apex

*Australia was originally known as New Holland by the Dutch long before british settlement

 

[bluexterra]

Blessed be thy patch, thou anointeth us all with a fresh OCD list.

Apex

 

[Schwartz]

The lord Kaz has delivered us into the year 2.03! Praise the lord!

 

[HP]

The lord Kaz has delivered us into the year 2.03! Praise the lord!

And our new patch resolutions are?

Mine is to hit level 40... I'll have it done by Monday

A to the Pex

 

[DaxCobra]

My new patch resolution is to get a '66 beetle over 155MPH.

Don't ask why.

Apex.

 

[Schwartz]

My new patch resolution is to get a '66 beetle over 155MPH.

Don't ask why.

Apex.

Use thy hallowed X2010 to push it.

 

[HP]

Use thy hallowed X2010 to push it.

... Push it, push it real good

Also thou shalt maketh thyself a custom track and generate an epic mountain & thou shalt proclaim it Mount Shem & thou shalt "fang it" with thine Herbie downhill and reacheth thine desired speed that way

Apex

 

[Matty]

... Push it, push it real good

Also thou shalt maketh thyself a custom track and generate an epic mountain & thou shalt proclaim it Mount Shem & thou shalt "fang it" with thine Herbie downhill and reacheth thine desired speed that way

Apex

Got a 44' one to 220 today

 

[W3H5]

On the dawn of 2.03, our lord Kaz did bless us with colourful home screens and new seasonals. To him our praise is given.

Apex​

 

[ZERAM]

Schwartz38 let me be a believer of the holy spirit of kaz
Will uou add me to the list?

 

[HP]

The story of how I came to be entered in the online 24hr enduro is unknown to all but me, now however I hath the blessing of Kaz to reveal to all mine story...

And Kaz came to the Heathen of Pride and he sayeth "Heathen, thou art ready for thine greatest test... I hath entered thee in a score & four hours of online endurance at the Holy Ring of Nürburg and thou shalt nay decline".

"Thou shalt suffer Heavy Damage if thou doth leave the Holy Tarmac and thou shalt have only 305 horses of power behind thee. Thou shalt use no steering prayers nor shalt thee pray for visual guidance at any time... Thou art chosen to be mine champion but ye may pick also thine own champion, or two, for I decree that ye shalt indeed sleep if thou wishes so ye shalt hath support"

"Serve me well in victory and thou shalt receive the annoinment of the Holy Kaz & ye shalt be forever blessed ere thou doth ascend to mine heavenly racetrack in the sky"

Go now my chosen one. Train ye muffler off & bring glory to thine lord"

Apex I said to Him and then He was gone...

 

[Schwartz]

Schwartz38 let me be a believer of the holy spirit of kaz
Will uou add me to the list?

Added 👍

 

[bluexterra]

License and Trophy prayer:

O Kaz, grant me the gold licenses and trophies and deliver me from disqualification.

For thou art the acceleration, the traction and the holy ghost replay.

Apex