The Book of Turismo

[trombone]

Revs 4:8-11

"8 And the four Red Bulls had each of them a 3-litre V6 about them, and they were full of horsepower within: and they rest not day and night at Nurburg, saying, Holy, holy, holy, lord Kaz almighty, which was building X1's, and is building X1's, and is building X1's to come.
9 And when those Red Bulls give downforce and power and aero to him that sat in the cockpit, who driveth for ever and ever,
10 The 15 and thousand rpms fall down before him that sat in the cockpit, and idle for him that driveth for ever and ever, and cast their 8.75 G's around thy corner, saying,
11 Thou art skilled, O Kaz, to receive downforce and power and aero: for thou hast created all X1's, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Apex.

 

[trombone]

Let he who is without spinout cast the first red cone.

APEX

 

[trombone]

And so it shall be known that, upon our deliverance into the year 2.03, we shall recieve 6 cars and one track in the form of DLC from the lord our Kaz. Praise the lord!

But first...

Malachi 3:10,

"10 Bring ye the tithes into PSstore, that there may be DLC in mine house, and prove me herewith, sayeth the Kaz of GT, if I will not release unto you the acceleration of content, and pour you out a 30km Special Stage Route X, that there shall not be room enough on your hard-drive to recieve it."


*I believe I should now enter into thine rest after these many dealings (and go play GT now).

 

[diegorborges]

I believe! How could I see the light before and let my eyes take so long to find this church!!

I want to be a Turismist. Please put my name on the list.

My new patch resolution is to get a '66 beetle over 155MPH.

Don't ask why.

Apex.

Just do it brother! I've got mine up to 238kmh (147.8MPH)... want 155 too. We shall not fear the bad aerodynamics or the lack of power. Let the spirit of X2010 be with us but lets try to achieve our mission without using the draft.

Apex.

 

[rb240tuner]

May the spirit of the x2011 be with all of us and the speed we are about to embark upon. From the small beetle to the veyron, all of us will achieve great speed.

 

[Furinkazen]

Thou shall actually hold their line at SSRX despiteth people weaving on a track when running in a line 3 wide would be fasteth....

 

[DaxCobra]

Thou shall actually hold their line at SSRX despiteth people weaving on a track when running in a line 3 wide would be fasteth....

Thou shall not giveth into temptation to induce others into a spin using the dreaded PIT Maneuvour when two a breasteth at SSRX.

 

[Brend]

I wish to be thy follower of the Book of turismo. 👍

 

[Niku Driver HC]

Thou shall not rage quit while driving the Holy Route X because they deem it to be too long for driving.

This track is our God's best work, as its sheer dimension and distance represent His greatest powers in thy holy track creation.

Apex.

 

[gt4viper]

X2011=Samson?

 

[gt4viper]

Thou shalt search the UCD daily, and buy all rare cars even those thou wantest not for thyself, and give them to the poor and needy among you; for as you do to the least of these you have done unto Kaz.

I have been a follower since my youth, and now I have
found a family of fellow believers!
Kaz and His holy Polyphony Digitus indwell my ConSoul, may they lead us in paths of high octane fuel alway.

Apex.

 

[gt4viper]

PROverbs 22:6
Train up your Bob in the way he should go,
and when he is level 40, he shall not depart from it.

 

[Finduszip]

I will join this. With my five thousand man strong army of fictional cats to follow.

 

[Jawehawk]

Thou shall tolerate and love the 🤬 out of everyone?

 

[HP]

Thou shalt nay letteth the Book of Turismo slip to the bottom of the threads list again or thou art worthy of the epic :tdowneth:

Hearken all ye & contribute and keepeth The Book visible to all!

 

[Korza]

On the dawn of 2.04, our lord Kaz shall fix thy drift trial replays. To him our praise is given.

Apex​

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

Thou shalt nay letteth the Book of Turismo slip to the bottom of the threads list again or thou art worthy of the epic :tdowneth:

Hearken all ye & contribute and keepeth The Book visible to all!

Preach it fellow brother!

 

[HP]

Preach it fellow brother!

Praise be to you brother Vspec, may thine engine ever run smooth, thine car drive true and thine backup save ever be safe

Apex

 

[Schwartz]

The honorable shem have nayeth posted here for a long time.

 

[HP]

The honorable shem have nayeth posted here for a long time.

Nor hath he been on of the line... believeth he on holiday with the Shem of the Mrs 👍

Ninja edit: Or he be on a holy mission from Kaz

 

[Niku Driver HC]

Thou shall not care for those who complain over and over again about thy holy DLC. For They are hopeless sinners.

Apex, my brothers.

 

[HP]

Thou shalt make it a priority to pilgrimage to the holy birthplace of our lord Kaz; Kazakhstan


Apex

 

[W3H5]

For my flock who would be lead astray by the temptations of Needeth for Speedeth, let this be a message for thee...

For the revs of a strange engine drop as a honeycomb, and her body kits smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as a Citroen, sharp as a two-edged feeler gauge.
Her wheels go down to death; her struts take hold on the Green Hell.

Book of Chicane

Apex​

 

[HP]

For my flock who would be lead astray by the temptations of Needeth for Speedeth, let this be a message for thee...


Book of Chicane

Apex

And at the turn of the age 2.04 did returneth the Prodigal Piston Shem, Bringer of wisdom and attainer of speed.

Hearken and rejoice all ye for he has returned!

Apex

 

[W3H5]

I have been cast away in foreign lands, stricken from the warmth of Turismo for a dozen days and more.

I have passed the test of temptation anddid rejecteth arcade machines displaying the likes of Datona Racing and Ferrari Challenge.

The Lord of Turismo did watcheth my path along the straight and narrow and will once again accept my prayer unto Him.

Apex, Brothers of Turismo.​

​

​

 

[jedisteampunk]

Thou shalt not believe in false prophets with 10 posts or less offering stealth dlc codes.

For their souls shall remain in Purgatory for infinity. Though their souls maybe cleansed buy fire, but they shall forever be outcasts, dammed as heinous sinners, who shall never be trusted.
And even though they may change their user names, they should fear the devine desciples, who on their holy crusade for truth and justice shall chase them to the gates of hell. They have proven themselves to truly be the devil's spawn. Powered by greed and jealousy they strive to feed off the humble few, who only desire to complete their quest to complete the collection of Holy Grails designed by their maker Kaz.
For he is the power and glory, rejoice and bask in his glow. For he will grace you with many riches.
And he never promised you a rose garden, along with the sunshine, there's gotta to be a little rain sometimes.

Here endeth the lesson.

 

[RoadRocket77]

Lol👍👍
This is classic. I couldn't make it through half the post without busting up laughing. I'm not bashing by the way... I give you guys a big thumbs up for doing this. I can't stop friggen laughing, and I still have to read the 2nd half of the post.

 

[HP]

I have been cast away in foreign lands, stricken from the warmth of Turismo for a dozen days and more.

I have passed the test of temptation anddid rejecteth arcade machines displaying the likes of Datona Racing and Ferrari Challenge.

The Lord of Turismo did watcheth my path along the straight and narrow and will once again accept my prayer unto Him.


Apex, Brothers of Turismo.

And apex to you o' nomadic Turismite. May thine updates come swiftly, thine bonus renew to the percent of two hundred and may thine beer flow freely ere thine thirst be quenched after thine epic quest

 

[Schwartz]

Lol👍👍
This is classic. I couldn't make it through half the post without busting up laughing. I'm not bashing by the way... I give you guys a big thumbs up for doing this. I can't stop friggen laughing, and I still have to read the 2nd half of the post.

If you think this is funny, you should read the rest of the thread.

 

[gt5fanatec]

Thou shalt not treat Gran Turismo as if he were a Midnight Clubitite and drive insanithly.

Apex.