The Book of Turismo

[W3H5]

... say to those with race day nerves, "Be fast, do not fear; your aero package will come, it will come with aerodynamic superiority; with divine retribution he will lead you across the finish line."

Book of Psarthe. 0-60.
Apex​

 

[Korza]

And when it was day, certain of the GT-R haters banded together, and bound themselves under a curse, saying that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed thine GT-R. And they came to the chief Onboy, and said, We have bound ourselves under a great curse, that we will eat nothing until we have slain thine GT-R. And when Shem heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into Moon Over castle, and told thy Mighty Kaz. (Work in Progress)

Apex.​

 

[W3H5]

And when Shem heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into the Moon Over Castle, and told thy Mighty Kaz.

Good stuff, man. 👍

 

[Korza]

Thanks for that tip, W3EM () I edited the post to incorporate it.

 

[Onboy123]

And when it was day, certain of the GT-R haters banded together, and bound themselves under a curse, saying that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed thine GT-R. And they came to the chief Onboy, and said, We have bound ourselves under a great curse, that we will eat nothing until we have slain thine GT-R. And when Shem heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into Moon Over castle, and told thy Mighty Kaz. (Work in Progress)

Apex.​

Thank you for that.

I know nothing of religion, so don't expect any deep religiousness in my post, but I shall not stop till every last R35 is dented. Or at least, every last one the AI drives.

 

[HP]

Thank you for that.

I know nothing of religion, so don't expect any deep religiousness in my post, but I shall not stop till every last R35 is dented. Or at least, every last one the AI drives.

Fear not for the path of Turismism be not forged only by the knowledgeable but also by those driven (hehe) to travel it and learn the ways of Kaz; for they are the tyres upon which this movement is driven and are essential for turismanity to drive home it's glorious message

Apex

 

[DJones]

I can't be the only one that hopes we can get enough followers to make this a real religion. Just like the church of the Jedi...

 

[Matty]

I can't be the only one that hopes we can get enough followers to make this a real religion. Just like the church of the Jedi...

Or the church of the Fonz..

 

[HP]

I can't be the only one that hopes we can get enough followers to make this a real religion. Just like the church of the Jedi...

Dare I say it....... The Reverend Shem?

Yours in most revered Perpetual Blessed Hotlap Harmony & Freshly Oiled Bliss,

Bishop Heathen, Right hand & Turbo of the Archangel Apex & Champion Healer of Heavy Damage.

 

[Schwartz]

And so it shall be known that, upon our deliverance into the year 2.03, we shall recieve 6 cars and one track in the form of DLC from the lord our Kaz. Praise the lord!

 

[HP]

and so it shall be known that, upon our deliverance into the year 2.03, we shall recieve 6 cars and one track in the form of dlc from the lord our kaz. Praise the lord!

^^^^testify brother!!!

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Thou shalt not fart on your copy of GT5 or the copy of your brother

 

[HP]

Thou shalt not fart on your copy of GT5 or the copy of your brother

...... But thou shalt expelleth the wind upon thine brother with extreme prejudice

 

[bluexterra]

Bless me Kaz, for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since my last online session

 

[Michelin]

Thou shall drive the upcoming Beetle on the Nurburgring once a day to glorify this little epic car and our God Kazunori Yamauchi.

 

[bluexterra]

Let he who is without spinout cast the first red cone.

 

[HP]

Let he who is without spinout cast the first red cone.

If ^this^ is not added to the OP I will heartily protest such a glaring omission from this most holy of threads O_O

Schwartz... it must be added!!

 

[isildur]

No cornering divebomb aimed against you shall succeed..

 

[Schwartz]

If ^this^ is not added to the OP I will heartily protest such a glaring omission from this most holy of threads O_O

Schwartz... it must be added!!

Added to OP.

Bless me Kaz, for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since my last online session

Thou shalt seek advice from either the honorable shem (W3HS) or Heathenpride.

And when it was day, certain of the GT-R haters banded together, and bound themselves under a curse, saying that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed thine GT-R. And they came to the chief Onboy, and said, We have bound ourselves under a great curse, that we will eat nothing until we have slain thine GT-R. And when Shem heard of their lying in wait, he went and entered into Moon Over castle, and told thy Mighty Kaz. (Work in Progress)



Apex.

Its looking great! Keep it up!

 

[HP]

Bless me Kaz, for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since my last online session

Blessed Brother... Fear not for this day, on the eve of the year 2.03, there hath been proclaimed a vicious possession of the online path; He who is Famine hath bloggeth and so it is written.

Therefore thou art not expected to confess for thine journey down the Line of On may be corrupted & give thee false lap times, should thee wish to travel down this most exalted path thou shalt hearken to these words & take heed:

Join not any room that has more than 11 Knights of Turismo therein.

If thou doth indeed venture into a room with more than 11 Knights of Turismo then thou shalt layeth down thine knightly wheel weapon and arm thyself only with thine three tined Dual Shock ere the number of thine peers doth drop to 11... If thou hearkens not then thou shalt indeed suffer the dreaded Lag & mayhap thine lap times shall be infested with the corruption of the falsely increased clock.

Hear ye all for thee shall all suffer thus ere Kaz & His Polyphonus Digitalus bestoweth upon all Turismites that most revered of gifts... The Holy Patch.

Apex

 

[Schwartz]

All shalt bow before the Holy Patch!

 

[Niku Driver HC]

Thou shall not , on any given moment, complain about the DLC prices, as they are the tribute that Turismism requires to keep improving itself. And we, as it loyal followers, shall pay that tribute without questioning.

Apex.

I shall always follow this book and the religion of Turismism, respecting all the rules.

 

[ZERAM]

Im now an member of the holy fb page
(niels b.)

Thou shalt have petrol as the holy water

 

[isildur]

Kaz brought the Holy Patch, gave it to Turismites and said..Download this all of you: For this is my DLC which will be given up for you.

 

[HP]

Thou shall not , on any given moment, complain about the DLC prices, as they are the tribute that Turismism requires to keep improving itself. And we, as it loyal followers, shall pay that tribute without questioning.

Apex.

I shall always follow this book and the religion of Turismism, respecting all the rules.

Yea, all shall tithe as it is written. Ye shalt, for thine tithe, receive the holy DLC and He shall be pleased

The Psalms of Route X - As written in the Nurburg Sea Scrolls

Apex

 

[turbolefty78]

Schwartz38,
I, TurboLefty78, being of sound mind(for the most part) give thee mine permission to addeth me to thine holy list on page 1. So let it be written, so let it be done. Apex

 

[ZERAM]

First gt testament as pdf?

 

[yzfmike]

+1
Thou shalt not use thine horn like a 5 year old douchebag.
Thou shall remember the Dirty Shuffle, and keep it Holy.
Thou shalt not covet thine neighbors Shuffled car (thine wife is fair game, for she distracts).
Thou shalt not compare The Holiness to that other hunk of junk from that other company on that other console.
Thou shall use "Search" before posting a new topic on this forum.(this thread excluded)

👍👍👍👍👍

I totally agree, especially with the last part wholeheartedly.

 

[bluexterra]

Bedtime Prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.

Apex





Heathenpride, I beseech thee - add me to thine list of followers

 

[HP]

Bedtime Prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Kaz my garage to keep:
May Kaz guard bob through the night
And give him victory by the morning light.

Apex

Heathenpride, I beseech thee - add me to thine list of followers

Blue one,

I am not so exalted as The Black One for it is He who canst add thee, I am but a humble monastic Turismite who hath been granted the ways of the Turbo.

Schwartz,

The Blue One wishes to join

Apex