The Book of Turismo

[W3H5]

For our hallowed Nurburgring we give praise...



In my distress I called to the Nürburgring, and it answered me. From the depths of the gravel I called for help, and it listened to my cry.

You hurled me into the straight, into the very heart of Dottinger hohe, and the turbulence swirled about me; all the wings and diffusers swept it over me.

I said, 'I have been banished from your pit; yet I will look again toward your pit crew.'

The engulfing competition threatened me, the V12s surrounded me; Gran Turismo was branded around my helmet.

To the roots of Kallenhard I sank down; the rumble strips beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the curb, O Kaz my LORD.

"When my fuel was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy pit garage.

"Those who cling to worthless tunes forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

But I, with a song of tyre squeal, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make fast. Salvation comes from the LORD."

Book of Chicane. 0-60.

Apex​

 

[Suzumiya]

Book of A-Spec 13:37

Oneth one holy day, the lord, Kaz, went to the sacred Salon of Tokyo, in which cars were showethed in their holy glory with their sacred bodykiteths and modifications.
The lord Kaz was awestruck at the holyness of all the custom cars, but he could only give one a ticket to GT Heaven.
And so, the judgement day began, as Kaz, our lord, went to find the most sacred car. Then, he found a graceful, holy GT-R made by the kings, GReddy. Kaz granted this car holyness, but it is now stuck in GT Purgatory until the next time the holy Gran Turismo comes down to the Gamestops of the world. Let us pray for this sacred GT-R, which it may find it's way into the DLCeth.


Book of Indianapolis

Apex.

 

[HP]

For our hallowed Nurburgring we give praise...

In my distress I called to the Nürburgring, and it answered me. From the depths of the gravel I called for help, and it listened to my cry.

You hurled me into the straight, into the very heart of Dottinger hohe, and the turbulence swirled about me; all the wings and diffusers swept it over me.

I said, 'I have been banished from your pit; yet I will look again toward your pit crew.'

The engulfing competition threatened me, the V12s surrounded me; Gran Turismo was branded around my helmet.

To the roots of Kallenhard I sank down; the rumble strips beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the curb, O Kaz my LORD.

"When my fuel was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy pit garage.

"Those who cling to worthless tunes forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

But I, with a song of tyre squeal, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make fast. Salvation comes from the LORD."

Book of Chicane. 0-60.

Apex

Shem, oh wise and dastardly one, He, Kaz, came to me and He spake thus:

"Heathen, give to Shem my words to him they must be heard,
He is my child, he is my ward, but now he groweth he is to go and be my shepherd of Nürburg,

To him all will listen, to him they all shall now hearken; risk not in this my wroth lest my ire rise and my disposition darken.

Go forth now Heathen, get thee away, for you work is not yet done and thou shalt not delay!

"Before ye leave though I grant thee the power to create a wondrous thread titled 'The Gospel According to Shem' and therein thou shalt collect his greatest writings and, I prophetically proclaim, one day long from now they shalt be found and named The Dead Shem Scrolls"

Apex

And I trembled and I did obey, I give now to Shem these words as given to me this day . Take thine leave of thine lord and spread thine wings great Piston, I go now to prepare mine thread and I shall have it ready for thee in days numbered three.

Apex

 

[W3H5]

Masterful you are, indeed, mighty Piston Heathen. For Kaz chooses only the most righteous of us to hear his calls. I am yet to be spoken to from the Lord of the 'Ring but know my path is linked with his and our visions are as one.

I prey of thee, wise Heathen, Piston of the faith, let it be known the the Nurburgring was given for all sons of Turismo, to be driven on and praised.

For these times of recent I have been absent from it's hallowed asphalt due to my convictions of fasting. May Kaz, in all his glory, layeth upon me his blessing to see me through my period of abstinence.

Blessings be to the Team Heathen for their monumental undertaking of the Day of Ring, and let it henceforth be known as St Heathen of Nordschleife's day.

Apex​

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

Book of A-Spec 13:37

Oneth one holy day, the lord, Kaz, went to the sacred Salon of Tokyo, in which cars were showethed in their holy glory with their sacred bodykiteths and modifications.
The lord Kaz was awestruck at the holyness of all the custom cars, but he could only give one a ticket to GT Heaven.
And so, the judgement day began, as Kaz, our lord, went to find the most sacred car. Then, he found a graceful, holy GT-R made by the kings, GReddy. Kaz granted this car holyness, but it is now stuck in GT Purgatory until the next time the holy Gran Turismo comes down to the Gamestops of the world. Let us pray for this sacred GT-R, which it may find it's way into the DLCeth.

Book of Indianapolis

Apex.

The Togis (JDM Car Gods) of Nissan, the Nissan Skyline GTR Z-Tune and GTR SpecR giveth us the sight of another breathen of the mighty VR38 from the community of prophets called GReddy.

We, the Turismites, who are chosen from the Togi(JDM Cars) shall have a vision of this glory within our dreams. Whoever has the vision of the R35X, must spread the word to all in the world to grant himself a place within the Kingdom of Machines.

Apex

 

[HP]

Masterful you are, indeed, mighty Piston Heathen. For Kaz chooses only the most righteous of us to hear his calls. I am yet to be spoken to from the Lord of the 'Ring but know my path is linked with his and our visions are as one.

I prey of thee, wise Heathen, Piston of the faith, let it be known the the Nurburgring was given for all sons of Turismo, to be driven on and praised.

For these times of recent I have been absent from it's hallowed asphalt due to my convictions of fasting. May Kaz, in all his glory, layeth upon me his blessing to see me through my period of abstinence.

Blessings be to the Team Heathen for their monumental undertaking of the Day of Ring, and let it henceforth be known as St Heathen of Nordschleife's day.



Apex

Thine wyrdz humble this most unworthy heathen Shem, may the Kaz of the Yamauchi shineth His blessed high beams upon thee always and may thine airbag never require release oh great 'schleife warrior.

 

[sheephead99]

Thou shalt not drag race in a x2010/2011

Thou shalt not diss the ford ka

 

[bluexterra]

How are my Turismite brethren?? I was gone on a long sabbatical to the Temple of The Vettel Challenge and the 60 Golden License Grail. I have obtained all the golden sacraments of the Special Events except for the Vettel Challenge in which bronze has been bestowed upon me as I earned redemption from disqualification.....

I will soon make the holy pilgrimage to the 24 hour endurance races so that I might unlocketh the remaining A-SPEC gift tickets...

 

[Kino321-X]

A reading from the letter of Saint Poly to the Turismites

"Thus says the lord, Kaz, that the time of thou proclaimed downloadable content is imminent. One shall keep watch as the holy day nears. From the kingdom of Fukuoka shall be conceived a great mountain, known as Panorama. All Turismites, says our lord Kaz, shalt also be graced with the roaring eight-cylinders from thy land down under on that sacred day.With thy offering of thou plastic tablet worth 20 gold, one shall see the beauty of our lord's creation."

The word of thy Kaz
Thanks be thy Polyphony

Apex

 

[HP]

I will soon make the holy pilgrimage to the 24 hour endurance races so that I might unlocketh the remaining A-SPEC gift tickets...

May Kaz guide thee brother in thine quest of the hour of 24.

I undertook just this last month the hour of the 24 but I was granted allowance to race mine online... Attrition was promised and attrition was had as only 12 of 15 original chosen ones agreed to starteth... the false ones did then increase as 4 more failed to showeth uppeth at the starteth lineth.

8 There were whence upon that most holiest of events did start and only 4 did greet that most chequered of flags 'pon finishing... My fellow pilgrim Dan110024 didst show himself true as he droveth two lap stints with I for 1 score minus 7 hours ere the blessed Sir Schnell did arriveth and taketh the holy wheel, and on the 14th hour didst Dan & I resteth.

The Holy Team Green Hell Heathens didst smite our opposition thusly 'cept the Bandits of the Ring who provethed too fast in their unholy Ford of the Test Car, GT the II... Lappeth the field didst they and Kaz did frown heavilly 'pon them for they didst switcheth chosen steeds at the hour of eleven... Kaz did nay smite them though for He is wroth but He is also fair, He will nay alloweth the same again he didst console me though...

And the place of the second we didst attain and the plaque of the carbon fibre we didst win and the adoration of billions doth we now have... all hail Kaz for it was Him that guidethed us through the Hell of Green that is the Schleif of the Nord.



Apex

 

[bluexterra]

The Holy Team Green Hell Heathens didst smite our opposition thusly 'cept the Bandits of the Ring who provethed too fast in their unholy Ford of the Test Car, GT the II... Lappeth the field didst they and Kaz did frown heavilly 'pon them for they didst switcheth chosen steeds at the hour of eleven... Kaz did nay smite them though for He is wroth but He is also fair, He will nay alloweth the same again he didst console me though...

What pious wagon didst thine Holy Team Green Hell Heathens raceth with?

 

[W3H5]

I do believe it was the holy chariot of Cusco, namely Subaru which posseseth the power of 4 wheel drive.

Through the night did I check in on their progress and hopeth for victory of the Heathens. They have done the Turismites proud and shall be held to high acclaim!

 

[HP]

I do believe it was the holy chariot of Cusco, namely Subaru which posseseth the power of 4 wheel drive.

Through the night did I check in on their progress and hopeth for victory of the Heathens. They have done the Turismites proud and shall be held to high acclaim!

Aye great piston 'twas indeed the Cusco of the Dunlop, Subaru the 4 of the wheeled drive 👍

Kaz did visiteth me and proclaimed "thou shalt use mine chosen car The Cusco, swifter than an amphetamine filled Sleipner it be and it shall serve thee well"

These words from Him didst prove true

Apex

 

[bluexterra]

Feareth not heathenpride, let me singeth you this hymn:

Amazing Race, how sweet the sound,
That cars make when they run....
I once was last and two laps down,
Was blocked, but now I've won....

 

[W3H5]

Amazing Race, how sweet the sound,
That cars make when they run....
I once was last and two laps down,
Was blocked, but now I've won....

Your words are kind yet powerful, blueterra. May the 'Ring be kind to you and your tyre last long!

Apex.

 

[McClarenDesign]

McClarenDesign has offered his soul since the demo for the first Gran Turismo, and would very much appreciate being added to thine list.

Thou shall remember thy Car of the Week, and keep it holy, always.

 

[HP]

Thou shalt nay letteth the Book of Turismo slip to the bottom of the threads list again or thou art worthy of the epic :tdowneth:

Hearken all ye & contribute and keepeth The Book visible to all!

^^ This, remember! 👎

I hath undertaken to breaketh the minutes of the 6 in mine holy chariot, the Ferrari of 2007, and I ask ye all to join me and come raceth in the lounge of the heathens... Bringeth thine Ferrari's and come a'frollicking at great speed through the hell that is green that doth adjoineth the track of the holiest and grandest of prix.

Hearken and starteth thine engines oh great Turismites, cry havoc and let loose the prancing horses of war!!!

 

[Schwartz]

Unfortunately this thread may be dying.

 

[kk20]

Unfortunately this thread may be dying.

Apex

 

[HP]

Nay, praise be that it doesn't

Shem, where art thou to breatheth life to this most revered thread? Read to us from the Book of Chicane so that we may LOL and reneweth posting!

Apex

 

[G.T.Ace]

May I ask the OP to add me to this wonderful list?
Wish I would've seen this before.

 

[Left Turn]

Thou shall wait patiently for the coming fourth coming of DLC.

 

[Theace37]

count me in,

Thou shall not drive 'round the track beeping horn insecently

 

[Theace37]

thou shall pray for the Audi r10 in its redemption from suckiness


thou shall make good on thy trade


thou shall pray to the almighty 787b

 

[Jawehawk]

For too long, thou has let thé book of Turismo fall into the abyss.
The book of Turismo shall live long and great, as thé brethen gather once again to celebrate our holiest of things. The Nurburgring.

Rise up from the darkness, and shineth the light upon our holy grail once again.

I'm clearly not very good at this...

 

[HP]

For too long, thou has let thé book of Turismo fall into the abyss.
The book of Turismo shall live long and great, as thé brethen gather once again to celebrate our holiest of things. The Nurburgring.

Rise up from the darkness, and shineth the light upon our holy grail once again.

I'm clearly not very good at this...

Thou art indeed great Hawk of the Jawe, but dark have been the days... Turismites wandered aimlessly ere Spec 3 but still they wait, long and wretched have been our dreams but didst we waken to glorious updatage? Nay, instead the nightmare of hacked cars plagued us and only now we can fully wake hoping, nay, praying, to the Kazunori of Yamauchi that our nightmare be over and that he bestoweth unto us, His loyal grid, the holy triumvirate: The Spec of Three.

 

[Jawehawk]

Thou art indeed great Hawk of the Jawe, but dark have been the days... Turismites wandered aimlessly ere Spec 3 but still they wait, long and wretched have been our dreams but didst we waken to glorious updatage? Nay, instead the nightmare of hacked cars plagued us and only now we can fully wake hoping, nay, praying, to the Kazunori of Yamauchi that our nightmare be over and that he bestoweth unto us, His loyal grid, the holy triumvirate: The Spec of Three.

I am but a humble follower, who has yet to be given the honorable title of Turismite. But I have seen the light. For I have driven many thousand a miles on the Ring, and seen many mornings a new. I beg of you, my brethen, to not lose faith. For I have seen light upon the horizone. Something far greater in magnitude than The holy Spec of Three. It is comming. The 6th of Turismo.
I gaze upon the News section of our holy GTplanet, ever patient for Kazunori to bestoweth upon us his wisdom and foresight of what is to become. Aye, the days are long, and the nights are longer still. But the night is darkest right before the dawn, and the dawn shall bringeth many a wonderful experiences.

 

[Bobert power]

Thou shall not drive the X1 in Happiness.

 

[The Stig Farmer]

You made a religion out of it 👍 That's dedication.

 

[DJones]

You made a religion out of it 👍 That's dedication.

Dedication, obsession, boredom, genius, glorious. I could go on about how awesome this is, but I need not.

Apex my brothers.