The General Relationship Thread

[Luminis]

- I guess you could be the German me. The only thing, is I'm very shy, and when I'm walking, I look down into the ground, and I guess you're not doing that.

Well, not quite. I used to be quite shy, too, you know. I actually have some situations where I still am, but those are qutie rare. That basically changed when I started to learn that most people are so busy with themselves that I really have to act like an utter idiot to stand out in a negative way. I often felt as if a lot of eyes were on me when in reality, they aren't.

Add to that a lot of working out at the gym and the corresponding body, which means that nobody seems to be willing to give me crap, anyways, and it makes me feel pretty good about myself... But there is one very, very important thing, probably the most important thing:

You've got nothing to lose. That's what I keep telling myself. If you fancy a girl, you've got two option: Talk to her or don't talk to her. If you don't, you won't get her. If you do, you may or may not get her, but there's no way you could possibly lose anything.

Well, aside from, say, hitting on a coworker/classmate This can lead to some awkward situations - granted, I've never experienced that myself, but I've witnessed it a few times.

I mean, you don't have to do the "Spiderman 3 Peter Parker-wannabe-player walk & finger pistol thing" or anything, but just keep your head up. Honestly, by not being a total wannabe-guido-bro-weirdo, you're being a better person than at least 50% of all males that are walking around here, so that's something you can be proud of, for starters

It may sound like a bit of a joke, but in all honesty: Look at the little things you've done and accomplished and remind yourself once in a while that you may not be perfect, but then, nobody is.

Oh, and besides, I don't mean any offense when I say this, but you're still quite young. When I was your age, I wasn't the guy I am today. In fact, I was just beginning to get my feet wet (and some other things, IYKWIM) It takes a bit of experience to become somewhat successful, and this goes for basically everything - relationships included.

Really, just give it some time. Don't put any pressure on you, relax and remember that there's no contest and the only thing that matters in the end is your own happiness. The reason I'm saying this is because, quite frankly, I made that mistake at the time. I felt that I needed to be a player and have success with women to be someone - which is entirely false.

 

[Dean]

Well, I guess it's because of the way I look, but I don't know. I've always been shy.

 

[Luminis]

Just don't think too much into it. If you're not satisfied with your looks, I can only recommend to go shopping with a female friend of yours and get a bit of advice when it comes to clothing and such. It helps to get some input from your target audience

 

[Dean]

Just don't think too much into it. If you're not satisfied with your looks, I can only recommend to go shopping with a female friend of yours and get a bit of advice when it comes to clothing and such. It helps to get some input from your target audience

Haha. But it's not my clothes, I'm afraid. Three words; alot of pimples.

 

[Luminis]

Haha. But it's not my clothes, I'm afraid. Three words; alot of pimples.

A lot are two words [/Grammar nazi]

Anyways, they'll recline over time. God, I was SO riddled with that back in the day. My back still looks like that, to be quite honest. Good thing nobody sees that until it's too late

 

[Dean]

A lot are two words [/Grammar nazi]

Anyways, they'll recline over time. God, I was SO riddled with that back in the day. My back still looks like that, to be quite honest. Good thing nobody sees that until it's too late

Sorry for not spelling right.

[...]I'm not sure, if I should post a photo of me, as you'll, most likely, throw up.

I guess, I look like you did.

 

[Luminis]

Sorry for not spelling right.

Relax, I was only jerking your chain

I guess, I look like you did.

Believe me, a friend of mine looks worse. I can say that much without knowing you, and he still gets a girl every now and then, so don't worry about it 👍

 

[Callum B]

Luminis I think I need to take a leaf out of your book. I get too attached to girls I like which always ends with me getting depressed, such as now. It's a shame that the friend who cheers me up about these things is in San Fran for a week, she could have at least smuggled me in a suitcase but I'm not sure they accept them over 70kg's

 

[Luminis]

Luminis I think I need to take a leaf out of your book. I get too attached to girls I like which always ends with me getting depressed, such as now. It's a shame that the friend who cheers me up about these things is in San Fran for a week, she could have at least smuggled me in a suitcase but I'm not sure they accept them over 70kg's

That's basically me, about three years ago. That's where my current behaviour comes from. Went through that stuff once and decided that I won't have that a second time.

 

[Callum B]

That's basically me, about three years ago. That's where my current behaviour comes from. Went through that stuff once and decided that I won't have that a second time.

Respect for thinking like that, I suppose this is a fair way to get experience and make sure I don't fall into the same trap again.

 

[Luminis]

It's the only way to geet experience. Don't rush these things, gather as much as experience as you can while you go and keep your cool 👍

 

[Dean]

It's the only way to geet experience. Don't rush these things, gather as much as experience as you can while you go and keep your cool 👍

- Seriously, may I quote you on that? One of the best advises I've ever heard.

 

[Callum B]

Well I'm at high school so I should prepare myself for when things might get serious.

 

[Callum B]

- Seriously, may I quote you on that? One of the best advises I've ever heard.

Agreed, Luminis is a top bloke

 

[Luminis]

- Seriously, may I quote you on that? One of the best advises I've ever heard.

Sure, go ahead. And thanks, by the way.

Well I'm at high school so I should prepare myself for when things might get serious.

Well, this isn't some sort of war. Take it easy, really. To be honest, when I was your age, I was more interested in trading Pokemon cards with my friends than I was in girls That's why I'm saying that you shouldn't rush that stuff. Because, frankly, it's far too important to enjoy one's childhood and youth. Women come and go, but those days where you are without a care in the world, those will never come back. Enjoy them while they last.

Agreed, Luminis is a top bloke

Seriously, thanks guys

 

[georgetheracer]

first of all i served my country forces,, ok, yes donk use computers,, im assistant supertendant C.C.C, ben through more most you ever see,, life,, deal with problems ,, dont cry do nothing about ,,

 

[Dean]

Well I'm at high school so I should prepare myself for when things might get serious.

- It's always good to be prepared. I'm entering a new class (after 10 years of the Danish folkeskole), on the gymnasium, where 22 out of the 30 students in my class are girls, so there might be someone... - you'll never know.

Agreed, Luminis is a top bloke

Agreed.

 

[Pupik]

first of all i served my country forces,, ok, yes donk use computers,, im assistant supertendant C.C.C, ben through more most you ever see,, life,, deal with problems ,, dont cry do nothing about ,,

Please work on your attempts at conveying the English language...Re-read the Acceptable Use Policy, which you agreed to before posting, which says:

-You will not use “textspeak” (“r”, “u”, “plz”, etc.) in your messages. Decent grammar is expected at all times, including proper usage of capital letters.

 

[hawkeye122]

So I'm not too sure how much this issue is covered by the scope of this thread. It's about my relationship with my friends, and me accidentally "Intruding" on a relationship between my friends Gerrit and Taylor. Well, sort of....

If you want the short version, skip to the end. If you want the funny version, read on.


And now that I think about it, its like "Well no ****, How was that going to end well?"
Anyways, so Taylor had her birthday party like a month ago. I was invited, so I went with Nate and Joe Johnson, and Ben. No big deal. Gerrit wasnt there for it because he was "At the track" that day. I bought her like a $7 Mug that said "Diva" on it, because Ben beat me to buying a small candle, and I had literally no clue what to get. So no big deal, go out to Pizza with friends, sing "Happy Birthday", and all that ****. Awesome.

Like 3 days later, I get a facebook message from her. "Hey, I need everyones address so i can send a thank you card".
1. Im not giving my address out on a public message
2. You dont need to write me a thank you card for a freaking mug I bought because I felt like I had to.

So the next time I see Gerrit, he's on the phone with Taylor (As usual). "Hey, tell Taylor I dont want a freaking thank you card".
He does that.

Like a week after that, Taylor texts me "Hey, whats your address?"
And I said no, Im not telling you because I dont want a card. Turns out she had already written it.
"Ok, then can I just come pick it up? You live like a mile away. I hate waiting for mail"
So we talked, and eventually decided that it might be neat just to say Hi or whatever, so id go and get it.
I ASKED LIKE A ZILLION TIMES IF IT WAS OK WITH GERRIT. He wasnt in town, but she said not to worry about it.

So I head over there, and she comes out with her dog on a leash. We talked outside for a minute, and then she asked if I wanted to come inside and sit down. So I did, no big deal. Her Mum brought us water, and I planned that I would leave as soon as I finished the water. No big deal.
Her Mum comes in "Hey Ryan, Would you like to stay for dinner?" "OH no, I really didnt mean to intrude..." "No no, It's fine! You can stay for dinner."
So you dont just tell someone straight up that you dont want dinner. I've tried before, the aprents just get upset and think you're being rude. So I agree to stay for dinner, think that I'll just leave when it's over.

BUT NO. When dinner gets over, Taylors dad comes in and is all like "Hey Taylor, have Ryan help you wash the car, since you were supposed to do that today". You have got to be ****ing kidding me. I came over here to grab a ******* CARD and stay long enough to be polite.

So I'm helping Taylor wash the car, and well, she isnt good at it, and I basically had to re-wash it. I wouldnt have cared, but I dont want Taylor's Dad's car to look like **** when he specifically wanted me to do it with her, after they gave me dinner.

While I washing the car, Taylor's brother (Hes like 12 or 13) comes up to me all "Hey Ryan, do you have a PS3?" "Oh yeah, for sure." "Well can I add you?" "Uh sure" and I gave him my name. Then we talked about COD2 and 3, and how I thought modern warfare 3 was the same thing as 2.

So i finish washing and he's all "Oh, you should come up and add yourself, since I'll forget" Fine, no big deal, that'll take like 5 seconds.

NOPE. Then he wanted to play Mod war 3 with me. And Im not gonna be a dick and say "No". So I sat up there and played a 30 min round with him.

OK, good, now I can think about trying to jet...

Right at moment, Taylor's little sister (5) spilled water on Taylors like Nice, wooden desk. So i helped her clean it up and made sure everything was ok with that. That took like another 20 minutes. Finally I start to leave, and Taylor walks me out to her car, and then we start talking. Again. For like 30 minutes. And then I finally leave.

I ended up being there for like 5 hours.

And now, Gerrit is pissed at me, which means I cant hang out with any of my friends(Except those from other social groups, who happen to all be out of town). Gerrits pissed because I hung out with his girlfriend. Even though she said it was ok, and there was ZERO moves made. Which i legitimately thought was ok. We werent like sneaking about it...

Grrrr....

 

[Slash]

Met a girl today, got clumsy and messed up my words only to find out shes seeing someone. Why are all the good ones taken? A girl who seemingly has the qualities I want are taken or I get flat out ignored...

 

[03SonicWRX]

(Maybe a long story alert.. depends on how detailed I get):

I'm from Knoxville, TN. This will help later on in the story, lol.

My Sophomore year in high school, I was part of a school choir and we were heading to New York for a national competition for the Heritage Festival. We ended up getting a Gold 1st place and were invited to sing at Carnegie Hall either the following year, or the year after.

We decided against going the next year and took a break and went and sang down in Orlando, Florida, as part of the Heritage Festival in Disney World. (We sucked that year, and this part is actually not even relevant to my relationship story, lol)

However, my Senior year, me and 15 other people from our 70 person choir (we were the select ones to go) went to New York to go participate as part of the National Youth Choir at Carnegie Hall. We worked all year on 7 pieces that we would be singing with other choirs at this event. How many choirs? I thought maybe 2 or 3 other choirs amounting to about 70-80 people. NOPE. There were 10 other choirs totaling around 250 people ranging from places like Wisconsin, New Mexico, and Florida!! We were there for 3 days and practiced as the complete choir for a total of 15 hours over those days (Two 3 hour practices and a 9 hour practice).

"Where is the girl!?!" I hear you ask. Hold on a second, I'm getting there.

So, it's the night of the performance and we're all standing up on the stage of Carnegie Hall doing a sound check half an hour before it's supposed to start (We were the finale, or last performance, so we got a short sound check). The idiots that were supporting it didn't know how to line up a choir worth crap, so we had to keep shuffling around to change positions so we could see the director (world-renown director, Eph Ehly, look him up. AWESOME guy!). So we finally get everyone organized and situated and we start walking down, in order, to take our seats before the whole event started (mind you, if I had been standing where I was SUPPOSED to stand, I would have been seated about 100 meters from where I actually ended up). So as I'm walking down the aisle to my seat, I spot the most BEAUTIFUL girl ever sitting down near the back. I can't tell what choir she's from because she's wearing the same stuff our girls wear for performance (we could tell most of the choirs apart from what they were wearing). As I was walking to my seat (which was basically right in front of her), we both locked eyes and smiled at each other. I'm kind of a shy kid, so I wasn't going to start a conversation no matter how badly I wanted to talk to her. So, as I was sitting there, really nervous about who's behind me, I get a small tap on the shoulder. I turn around with a face literally 5 inches away from mine and she blurted out in a cute country accent, "Hi! I'm Madison! What's your name?" That's when I mustered all the confidence I could and told her my name and where I was from.

We talked through all of the other peoples' performances. We couldn't care less who was up there. I would be facing the stage, watching a performance, then turn around and she would be staring right into my eyes. Every time I turned around, we would both lock eyes and smile at each other, with her letting out a small giggle or two each time.

It was finally time for us to go on stage and perform (to make a long story short, the performance was amazing, we got a standing ovations, and we performed an encore). As soon as we stopped singing and could move, we both ran halfway across the stage and met in the middle, still standing in the midst of everyone else, and we just stood there and held each other for what seemed like forever. I got her number ON STAGE of Carnegie Hall right after the performance. It ended up, she lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, which is only 300 miles from Knoxville (which may seem like a long way, but the other choirs were from a lot farther away). Both of our choirs left the next day at different times, so I didn't get to see her again before I left. We texted all day that day on the way home.

We have held a long distance relationship for the last 4 months, and I've seen her off and on since then. I try to see her every other weekend, but since I've started working again this summer, I haven't seen her for 2 months. But I'm seeing her for the first time in 2 months this next weekend, and I'm extremely excited! What started out as a 3 day choir trip for school, ended up being an experience of a lifetime where I met, what I hope to be, my future wife. We both have discussed college, and life after college.

I am going into the US Air Force as an Officer once I graduate college, and as it is planned right now, we will get married right after college and she will move around with me to where I get stationed in the Air Force.

It's been an extremely happy and fruitful relationship thus far, and I can only see better things for it on the horizon, so if someone tells you that long distance relationships don't work, don't believe one word, because this one has!

Thanks for the read guys,
Jonathan

 

[Dean]

Well, it could have been great to have another long story here, but I haven't got any.

 

[hawkeye122]

So the girl i currently have a crush on, it's her birthday. I sent her a brutally long message. And you know what? She actually didnt think it was creepy.

The way we became friends though is... so obscure.

So, I walk in on my first day of french class. Obviously, it's the first day of school, I rock my Juniour Varsity Football uniform (10th year). Walk in, and I see a diverse crowd of people.

One is a fellow JV player, so I picked a seat with him. Then the teacher comes in. "Everyone will sit in alphabetical order!" So I got up, and awaited my sport in the back of the room (Last name is West, I'm usually last).

Then, all of a sudden, this amazingly attractive girl walks up to me.
"Hey, I think you're in my spot."
"Oh am I? Sorry, what is your last name?"
"You dont even know my first name yet!"
"Ok, whats your first name?"
"April"
....

We then established that we had the same last name.

SAME LAST NAME.
That means we might be related, and I would hate to put on a move, and then see her at a family event. I'll let it go.

So she talked to her friends, I talked to mine. We just made really short casual conversation in class, and that was it.

We go to an assembly later on for outstanding academics. She gets nominated like 4 times out of her 6 classes, and gets the patch for "Perfect Grade Point Average".
What the hell. Smart, and cute? And a cheerleader? I have to have her.

Finally, we moved seats. I sat with a couple of my mates, across the room from her.

One day, we were to learn the french expressions for Clothing and the corresponding sizes. (Yeah, pretty useful, right?) The french teacher calls me out:
"Mr. West! (In french) What size pants does your sister wear?"

"Uh, Je ne sais pa, madame." (I dont know)

(In english) "What do you mean you dont know? Shes your sister."

"Well, I dont have a sister so... I picked something that made sense to your question"

"Oh, well you're supposed to be learning to say the sizes... Hey! You and April have the same last name so use her!"

April chimes in "Yeah, thats fine, I can be your sister!"

Me: "uh... ok?"

Teacher "So, (Insert French for "what size pants does your sister wear?")"

Heres my issue. April is pretty fit, and pretty thin. Here's my thoughts at that moment.
'But I hadnt remembered how the girls sizes for pants work... I had to give the size in Number form... I seem to remember it being like 0 was the skinniest? No, because you can have 00... I think? Well, April isnt THAT skinny... shes not anorexic. But I dont know how much bigger each size gets... is 5 like XXXL? OH I am right screwed.... No big deal, the whole class isnt waiting for my answer or anything...'


"Ma soeur porte un pantalon taille deux"
My sister wears size 2 pants.

2 Is pretty safe, she will obviously know that I know nothing about clothes.

"Actually, I wear a size 1. But close enough"
She smiled at me, and class went on.
Dodged a major bullet there.

So anyways, the year went on and she gave me her number, and we texted a bit. We joked, and called each other Brother and sister from then on.

And then this past year, I sort of have stepped it up, I took her out to lunch on school days (Year 11's and 12's can drive off campus. Year 10's have to catch a ride with a higher year student who is in "Good Standing", which i am. Easy girls, if you have a car)
And then theres the playing of "Fugitive" that I already talked about in this thread. And then I asked to take her to lunch over the summer. "Sure, just pick me up from the college when you're done"

So we went to lunch, where she then explained that she had to beg her mum to let me take her, since she wasnt 16, and her mum wanted her to be 16 before she hung out with a guy one on one.
So I asked again yesterday if she wanted to hang out, having forgotten the previous conversation. And she puts up the "I need to wait until I'm 16" speech.

"Wait, isn't your birthday like really soon?"
"UH, yeah, you forgot?"
"Of course not!" *Fires up facebook, frantically searches for her birthday*
"Well its tomorrow silly "

So yeah. Now I have a date with her in a few days. Oh yeah.

 

[Ven0m]

Well where do I begin?
The top seems quite a good spot. You see, I'm not the aggressive type of guy. Mainly due to the amount of rejections I've faced which is no fun. So I kind of float around, moving from person to person to see who is a good fit. The other problem is I'm picky, and generally speaking I normally go for women way out of my league. Setting myself up for failure I know but I can't help it.

So I'll get to the main attraction. (literally) Her. She is a beauty. Brunette with some beautiful Hazel eyes and skin that's just tan enough to match it all. She's a waitress at the bar I work at which is good because I see her on a somewhat consistent basis. But there is a problem.

You see when I first saw her I was thoroughly impressed, she was elegant even in a place that lacks elegance. I didn't quite know what to say to her. One of my friends who is a female mentioned her and I asked if she could talk to her just to get a feel for what she was like. Turns out she is very cool and she is younger than me by a few months, and if that's not good enough, she also goes to the same college as me, just a different campus.

All was going well till I talked to her via fb message. I asked how she was and she said fine. I asked if she was liking work, and she said yes, money's good, people are cool, management is nice. I replied with, yes it is a great place, the other place I worked wasn't so great, and that I was thankful to be there. She never replied. I don't see her till Wednesday at least. Don't know where I stand. Does she want talk and got busy or is she not interested and wants me to leave her alone? This is the question I've been pondering all day.

 

[Dean]

^ I think I should begin believe in “the luck”, and maybe get a lucky charm, as that (^) will most likely not happen for me, but, maybe luck'll kick in...

 

[Callum B]

Well dude in my past experience's it's a strong sign that she isn't particularly interested in you. It depends though, in the conversation you had before how short (or long) were her messages back to you?

 

[Ven0m]

Well dude in my past experience's it's a strong sign that she isn't particularly interested in you. It depends though, in the conversation you had before how short (or long) were her messages back to you?

She wasn't really short and the other day we talked she seemed interested. I'm at a loss.

 

[Callum B]

She wasn't really short and the other day we talked she seemed interested. I'm at a loss.

Have you tried talking to her today? Although noting you're from the US it's a different time I grant? Well whenever it gets to midday Monday for you I'd say hello to her again.

 

[Ven0m]

Have you tried talking to her today? Although noting you're from the US it's a different time I grant? Well whenever it gets to midday Monday for you I'd say hello to her again.

Yeah I think I might. Hopefully she doesn't read it as too pushy.

 

[Callum B]

Yeah I think I might. Hopefully she doesn't read it as too pushy.

Just make it casual, don't ask about where she went last time so she doesn't think you're needy in any way. Trust me I've made that mistake a few times.