The Simpsons Quotes

[Cap'n Jack]

Homers mum: Gotta run, grandma stuff!

 

[Blake]

Homer: What are you going to do? Release the dogs, or the bees or the dogs with bees in there mouths and when they bark the shoot bees at you! Do your worst!
*Mr Smithers and Burns go inside*
Homer: He shut the door on me!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Ned: Hello?
Maude: Did you plug that phone back in?
Homer: (yelling) SHUT UP!

 

[Andrew R]

Homer: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. (in a slurred mexican accent).


Class: Lisa likes nelson.
Milhouse: She does not!
Class: Milhouse likes Lisa.
Janey: He does not.
Class: Janey likes Milhouse.
Ooter: She does not!
Class: Ooter likes Milhouse.
Music Teacher: NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!!!

 

[Robert Cooper]

Have you ever watched the episode when Homer Simpson got chased by PBS...

Mr. Rogers:"It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!"
Elmo:"Elmo knows where you live!"

...and had to become a missionary?

Homer:"HELP ME, JEEBUS!"

 

[Blake]

Homer: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. (in a slurred mexican accent).

Way to take off the best movie ever!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Jimbo: You kissed a girl, that's so gay!

 

[Blake]

Says he considerring that episode where he and Laura are doing just that at Barts house....

 

[Goomba]

Originally posted by radicool02
Homer: If it's brown drink it down, if it's black tip it back.

It was "... if it's black, send it back!" IDIOT!

I... I think... Well, lets just say this. Sure enough to make an ass out of myself, but not put any money on it.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Mulder: What's this test for?
Scully: Oh, nothing, I just thought that he could lose some weight
Mulder: That fat jiggling is almost hypnotic
Scully: Yes, it is

 

[Blake]

Moe: Who could have thought a whale could be so heavy, oh cr*p, the Feds!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Artie(thinking): Artie artie artie artie artie arite artie artie artie!

 

[oscarfulz]

hehe wow i havent been at GTP for like 2 weeks now... and this is still up ^^ coolness

 

[Jimmy Pop]

Otto: Hey man, my shoes are talking.

 

[milefile]

I shouldn't have eaten that powdered gravy packet I found in the parking lot.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Do you want me to get the cat down?
Lisa: NO!

 

[Solid Lifters]

Ralph: "I found a moonrock in my nose."

Bart: "Houston, we have a booger."

 

[xAkirax2004]

Homer: I'd like the phone book for Hokiado, Japan, Please.
Libarian: OK, here you go, a phone book for Hokiado, Japan.
Homer: Thank you, may I please use your phone?
Libarian: Is it a local call?
Homer: Yes.

 

[Blake]

Otto: They call them fingers but I've never seen them finger...there they go.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Guy: Less chat more splat.

Zena: Zena wants zex!

 

[oscarfulz]

Originally posted by xAkirax2004
Homer: I'd like the phone book for Hokiado, Japan, Please.
Libarian: OK, here you go, a phone book for Hokiado, Japan.
Homer: Thank you, may I please use your phone?
Libarian: Is it a local call?
Homer: Yes.

hahahaha

 

[db70]

Moe on radio: MOE MOE MOE! HOW DO YA LIKE ME, HOW DO YA LIKE ME, MOE MOE MOE! HOW DO YA LIKE ME, HOW DO YA LIKE ME?

 

[millencolin]

dr Nick: dont worry, you wont feel a thing, till i jam this down your throat

 

[millencolin]

Dr nick: see you in the operating place.......................such a nice day, i think ill jump out the window

 

[Sleek Stratos]

Moe: "We may have to go to Little Italy."
Homer: "I'll go get our little passports."

 

[Blake]

Homer: "ok ill be cue ball, barney you can be 8 ball, apu you can be 7 ball and moe...you can be cue ball..."

Moe: "You're an idiot"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Originally posted by db70
Moe on radio: MOE MOE MOE! HOW DO YA LIKE ME, HOW DO YA LIKE ME, MOE MOE MOE! HOW DO YA LIKE ME, HOW DO YA LIKE ME?

I thought it was "Moe moe moe. Why don't you like me"

 

[Blake]

Homer: How many S's in innocent?

 

[X5.]

Episode where house is being burgled and Chief wiggam and company go down to the wrong house which is next door to the one being burgled. They realise they are in the wrong house when the local thug reverses out the house next door to escape being caught.

Chief wiggam" calling all units, calling all units, suspect is getting away i repeat suspect is getting away, he is in a, a car, i repeat the car has wheels, the car has wheels"

Bad cops, Bad cops(music plays)

 

[X5.]

I dunno if this has been done

Moe: is there a seymour here (Pub)
Moe: Seymour, who? (Phone)
Bart and Lisa: Butts
Moe: can i have a Seymour Butts (Pub)
Moe: Look! can i see seymour Butts!(Pub)
everyone in Tavern laughs
Moe: wait i know you (phone)
Moe: When i find out who you are im gonna squeeze ya strangle ya.....
Bart and Lisa: (laugh and fall down.)