The Simpsons Quotes

[X5.]

Grandpa: (dancing on stage in his youth in front of Hitler posed as a female)(his fake boob falls down)
Hitler: Arch de Louvre das is not a booby (my german is appaling by the way)
Grandpa: ( runs from stage)

 

[db70]

Originally posted by radicool02
I thought it was "Moe moe moe. Why don't you like me"

Yeah, that's it. I was thinking about a lot of stuff, so I put how instead of why.
My bad.

 

[Andrew R]

The Episode where Sideshow Bob comes out of jail and works with his brother Cecil has lots of funny parts.


Lisa: It's hopeless, utterly utterly hopeless
Bob: Oh I see, when it's one of my schemes you cant foil it fast enough but when Cecil tries to kill you its "hopeless utterly hopeless".

Cledus: Mister Terwiliger, there's some trouble down at the old C-ment mixer
See, Cousin Merle and me was playin fetch with Geech - thats our old smell hound, and-
Cousin Merle: Geech gone to heaven Mr. Terwiliger
Bob: Oh Cousin Merle-Really!
Cecil: Temper, temper. You know Cousin Merle " aint been quite right" lately.

"I'm telling you Cecil, I cant take much more of this! Rustic workmen who've turned the saniJohn into a smokehouse! Coveralls that dont quite cover all! and a psychotic little boy who won't stop hounding me.

 

[Blake]

Bart: I wonder what evil thoughs are going on in his mind!
Bob thinking: I wonder if they still make that shampoo I like?

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart: Guess who!
cesil: Meris?

 

[Blake]

Cecil: Say they'll live to regret this.
Bob: YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS! Oh, thanks alot, now I look crazy.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Homer: *paints El Homo on wall*
Lisa: What you doing dad?
Homer: Well if Bart can be El Barto, so can I.
Constuction worker: Hey, I like your style.
Homer: *looks at wall* D'oh!

 

[Blake]

Hahaha!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Mrs. Krabopple(sp?): what did I just say?
Bart: ummm, straighten up and fly right?
Mrs. Krabopple: That was just a lucky guess



Bart: I got a D minus, I got a D minus, I just kissed the teacher

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Nelson: Dingus.

 

[Blake]

Mrs. Krabopple(sp?):

Krabnapple

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: ....Ive been calling her Krandle...

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Marge: There is a turkey behind the bed.

 

[millencolin]

homer : unexplained bacon

 

[tabs]

Marge: Ahh, the walls are melting.

 

[milefile]

Well it was a wild ride while it lasted. Le's go home, kids.

But we are home.

That was fast.

 

[regulate]

Lindsey Nagle: (To homer Sir i kow you're not a deaf mute, we have been talking for the past 20 min.

 

[Sleek Stratos]

Homer: "I just poured myself a new glass of milk, the old one sat out for a little while. Are you coming to bed?"
Marge: "It's 7:30."
Homer: "Marge, I could stand here and argue with you, but then I'd have to get another glass of milk."

 

[Iownyouall]

From Mr. Plow, after homer smashes his car:
Insurance salesman: "Now this place, Moes...this is what, a store of some type?"
Homer's Brain: "Dont tell him you were at a bar...but what else is open at night?!"
Homer: "It was a pornography store, i was buying pornography"
Homer's brain: "Heh,i would've never of thought of that"

 

[555]

MY favourtie quote that made me roar with laughter (near tears) was when Kent brockman wins the Lottery, and Homer is watchin TV and says
Homer - " he may have all that money but theres still one thing he cant buy"
Marge - "what?"
20 second thinking pause
Homer - " a dinosaur"

the ultimate funny line from simpons!

 

[xAkirax2004]

Millhouse: Let's play "I spy!" I spy with my little eye...Something that begins with a D...

Nelson: Dingus! (Punches Millhouse in the stomache.)

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Girl: It's the no homerS club, we're aloud to have one.

 

[Sleek Stratos]

I recently saw the episode where Homer gets prescribed with medicinal marihuana, to aid his vision or something.

When Flanders shows up at their door:

Ned: "Hi-diddly-ho Homer!"

Homer (still high): "Oh my God, this dude does the best Flanders!"


Something about the way Homer said that line just got to me. I also realized I hadn't had a full-fledged laugh while watching a Simpsons episode in a long time.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Homer sings - "Hey, there, Blimpie Boy. Flying through the sky so fancy free."

Homer sings - "Dancing away my hunger pains. Moving my feet so my stomach wont hurt. I'm kind'a like Jesus, but not it a sacrilegious way."

Homer sings - "Call Mr. Plow, that's the name. That name again is Mr. Plow."


Like I've said it before; the greatest singer/songwriter of all time, folks.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Marge - Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off, Let me off

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Song on radio: Who left the milk out, ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww.

 

[Sauc3]

Groundskeeper Willy: "I'm a maniac, maniac, that's for sure. And I'm dancing like I've never danced before!"

And later on, same episode:
Willy: "Sherry Bobbins, is that you?!"
Sherry: "Hello Willy."
Lisa: "You know her?"
Willy: "Ay, Sherry Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glascow wasn't good enough for her."
Sherry: "It's good to see you Willy."
Willy: "That's not what you said the first time you saw me!"
________________________________________

Proffesor Frink: "Ay, no theme music! There, listen. AHEM, ahey, hey. Proffesor Frink Professor Frink, makes you laugh makes you think he likes to run and then the thing with the..... Person. Whooo boy. That monkey is going to pay."
________________________________________

Groundskeeper Willy: "Ahhg, if elected mayor, my first act would be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn y'r tomb to cinders!"
Official: (Whispers) "It's on."
Groundskeeper Willy: "I know it's on!"
________________________________________

Marge: "The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow don't bother coming in on Monday."
Homer: "Woohoo! Four day weekend!"
________________________________________

(With the lie detector)
Cop: "Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?"
Moe: "No!"
Beep!
Moe: "Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him!"
Ding!
Cop: "Ok, sir, you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, coz I got a hot date tonight."
Beep!
Moe: "Alright date"
Beep!
Moe: "Dinner with friends"
Beep!
Moe: "Dinner alone"
Beep!
Moe: "Watching TV alone!"
Beep!
Moe: "Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and oggle the ladies in the Victorias Secret Catalogue!"
Beep!
Moe: (Silence) "Sears catalogue..."
Ding!
Moe: "Now would you unhook this already please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!"
Beep!

 

[the_undrtaker89]

homer:Save me Jebus!!!

 

[Solid Lifters]

Homer walking through the park, and coming to two old guys playing a board game.

Homer: - "Pssp. Bishop to queen 4."

Old Man: - "We're playing dominos!"

Homer: - "(Poking the guy with a a stick) I said bishop to queen 4!"

Old Man - "Alright, alright!"

 

[Solid Lifters]

Bart - "You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you."

Homer - "You talk better than you fool."

Bart - "I'll fool you up real nice."

Homer - "You couldn't fool your mother, on the foolingest day of your life, if you had an electrified fooling machine."