The Simpsons Quotes
- Thread starter oscarfulz
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Marge: Is this Bransonville, MO?
Bronson: No, this is Bronsonville, MO.
Little kid: Hey ma, can I get some cookies?
Mom: No dice.
Little kid: This aint the end, you know.
Bronson: No, this is Bronsonville, MO.
Little kid: Hey ma, can I get some cookies?
Mom: No dice.
Little kid: This aint the end, you know.
Cap'n Jack
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Principal scinner: I don't live with my mum, She lives with me!
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When Homer filled in for Smithers as Burns' assistant.
Homer: "Good morning Mr. Burns! I got your messages:
'Your car is parked in a restricted area. You have 30 minutes to remove your car.'
'You have 15 minutes to remove your car.'
'Your car has been towed.'
'Your car has been crushed into a cube.'
'You have 30 minutes to remove your cube.'"
I can't say those are the exact quotes but they're close enough.
I love how Homer goes flipping through the messages all cheery.
Homer: "Good morning Mr. Burns! I got your messages:
'Your car is parked in a restricted area. You have 30 minutes to remove your car.'
'You have 15 minutes to remove your car.'
'Your car has been towed.'
'Your car has been crushed into a cube.'
'You have 30 minutes to remove your cube.'"
I can't say those are the exact quotes but they're close enough.
I love how Homer goes flipping through the messages all cheery.
Blake
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- haswell00
LunchLady Doris: I can only give you these two pills, which one to you want, Manic Depressive Mouse or the Blue Bird of Unhappyness?
Bart: *fients*
Chalmers: SKINNER! Why is the a boy lying unconsious in the sick bay and WHY is the lunch Lady posing as a nurse?
Lunch Lady Dorris: I get to paychecks this way.
Bart: *fients*
Chalmers: SKINNER! Why is the a boy lying unconsious in the sick bay and WHY is the lunch Lady posing as a nurse?
Lunch Lady Dorris: I get to paychecks this way.
- 35
Homer: Here are your messages: Your car is illegally parked, you have 30 minutes to move your car, you have ten minutes, your car has been impounded, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have 30 minutes to move your cube.
<phone rings and Homer answers> Hello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?
<phone rings and Homer answers> Hello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?
- 35
Al Gore doll: "YOU ARE HEARING ME TALK."
- 35
Homer: Hello, I am looking for a Mr. Snotball, first name Ura.
Moe: Ura Snotball?
Homer: What?! How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'm going to staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!
Moe: Ura Snotball?
Homer: What?! How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'm going to staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!
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Homer walking into the room with Selma and Patty sitting on the couch.
Patty - "Hmph, is it just me, or did it just get fatter, in here?"
------------------------------------------
DMV Employee - "Are those your cigarettes, sir?"
Homer - "Yes. (cough, cough) I'm in flavor country."
DMV Employee - "Both of them?"
Homer - "It's a pretty big country."
Patty - "Hmph, is it just me, or did it just get fatter, in here?"
------------------------------------------
DMV Employee - "Are those your cigarettes, sir?"
Homer - "Yes. (cough, cough) I'm in flavor country."
DMV Employee - "Both of them?"
Homer - "It's a pretty big country."
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That's how it goes. I get a kick out of that one.
Cap'n Jack
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Reverend love joy: Nice dress.
Jewish guy or something(am I wrong?): Oh go home and have sex with your wife.
Jewish guy or something(am I wrong?): Oh go home and have sex with your wife.
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Ralph - "I ated the purple berries."
Bart - "So, what'd they taste like?"
Ralph -"(Keels over) Ohhhhhhh, they taste like burning!"
Bart - "So, what'd they taste like?"
Ralph -"(Keels over) Ohhhhhhh, they taste like burning!"
- 3,834
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Supervisor: (to Patty and Selma) Ladies I apoligise, and you sir are worse than Hitler *slap*
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Bart: "Are you ok dad? you seem different to me"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "errr an new tie I am wearing"
Bart: "Oh yeah"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "honey im home"
Marge: "oh homer where have you been? I was so worried"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "Ya, please excuse my unexplained absence. Let me make it up to you with dinner at a reasonably priced resturant and then a night of efficient german sex"
Marge: "Well, I don't feel like cooking toinght"
Homer: "If he's anything like me, he wont like being kicked in the crotch"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "errr an new tie I am wearing"
Bart: "Oh yeah"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "honey im home"
Marge: "oh homer where have you been? I was so worried"
Homer clone: (in heavy german accent) "Ya, please excuse my unexplained absence. Let me make it up to you with dinner at a reasonably priced resturant and then a night of efficient german sex"
Marge: "Well, I don't feel like cooking toinght"
Homer: "If he's anything like me, he wont like being kicked in the crotch"
Blake
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- haswell00
He's a Catholic....radicool02
Duff beer for me,
Duff beer for you,
I'll have a Duff,
You have one too.
Lisa: I am the lizard queen!
Abe: Looks at us staring into each others eyes like a bunch of teenagers
Abe's Girlfriend (I forget her name): I'm not staring it's a lazy eye.
Abe: They may say she died of a burst left ventrical but I know she really died from a broken heart.
- 338
"You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
za-za-zaa
Just throw the can away!
za-za-zaa!"
Homer: "Linguo.... Dead!"
Linguo the grammar robot: "Linguo IS dead..."
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
za-za-zaa
Just throw the can away!
za-za-zaa!"
Homer: "Linguo.... Dead!"
Linguo the grammar robot: "Linguo IS dead..."
- 13,827
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Nelson: "Ha ha. Simpson is so poor he has to eat cardboard!"
Milhouse: What are you eating?"
Nelson: "Dry wall".
Milhouse: What are you eating?"
Nelson: "Dry wall".
Cap'n Jack
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Homer: PS, I'm gay.
Cap'n Jack
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Bart: Over the lips and past the gums, look out denchers, here I come.
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Recently saw the Stonecutters episode.
Their anthem:
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their site?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!!
Their anthem:
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their site?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!!
- 13,827
- Down under
Homer after destroying beavers dam:
Homer: "Woohoo! Finally, man triumphs over small furry animals!"
Homer: "Woohoo! Finally, man triumphs over small furry animals!"
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Comic book guy: I can't drive 55, because it only goes to 38.
Cap'n Jack
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Homer: The waiting game sucks, lets play hungry hungry hippos.
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Quickie Mart employee: "Celebrate your country's independence by blowing up a small part of it."
