[...]zohsix i am not in any way calling your post stupid i am saying that in my opinion a person who plays games is a gamer, which is simple logic, when you say im not a gamer that does not imply that you dont play games much it implys you dont play games at all
That's only your singular opinion, however, that does not make it the more widely accepted use of the term in the gaming world, which would be where the most apropos distinction would be determined, since you are indeed talking about games and gamers.
A true gamer is someone that plays a wide variety of games (first person shooters, RPGs, MMOs, real-time strategy, platform games, fighting games, action adventure, etc). They embrace and enjoy games in general, not just one select genre that happens to coincide with a specific interest that exists outside of the gaming world (which in this case would be cars and driving them).
On the other hand, if a person embraces and enjoys cars and everything about them, including driving them to their full potential (i.e., a driver / car guy), that passion may very well extend into games that attempt to simulate the interconnected systems of a car and its dynamics. Yet, if the only games one plays are those directly related to cars and the attempted true simulation of their dynamics, that does not make them a gamer. They are a driver / car guy.
Likewise, a true gamer, who enjoys a wide variety of games, may also happen to enjoy games that are decent driving simulators. However, that does not make them a true car guy.
The two worlds of gaming and cars may happen to slightly overlap in such an instance, however, it does not change the people who happen to exist in those two distinct spheres. They are very different people.
Of course, there are varying shades of grey and you will have people who straddle both camps to differing degrees, however, the distinction still remains.
Simply put, someone that enjoys driving simulators, solely due to their passion for cars, driving them at their limits, and the distinct connection one has with the car while communicating with it at those limits (hence the prerequisite for a faithful physics engine), is not a gamer. The only tether securely anchoring him or her to that game is firmly rooted in the real world cars that it attempts to accurately simulate. Without that, he or she would not be playing or enjoying it.