|[C³]| The Crappy Car Club

[VIPFREAK]

wow... I don't feel so bad now... no offense dood. BTW, I think your in.

 

[CalibreDan]

I like a challenge. I got the Calibre for a first car in November. 2 litre plus me being 17 then, along with UK insurance companies meant it would have been about £2500 to insure it on the cover I'd want. So I stripped it down to start restoring it then got the Beetle a few months back when I turned 18 since that's only £400 to insure, but alas it needs more work than I thought it did.

Doh, nothing major though.

 

[Driftster]

Holy Crap I'm Still Not On The List!!! Weak Sauce

 

[VIPFREAK]

Event doesn't update it anymore. His ass got lazy. j/k

 

[Event]

Event doesn't update it anymore. His ass got lazy. j/k

He's right. I am way too lazy. That list was a b*tch to update!

 

[VIPFREAK]

Well I got my car back...

Good news...

only cost $380 not the quoted $480. It runs and I still got 27 mpg.

Bad news...

No more ghetto rice rocket sounding exhaust via hole in pipe. Doesn't even sound like the engine is on now. WTF?!

 

[VIPFREAK]

Well, if you insist on a pic here it is... Granted if I took one two days ago my car would look more convincing for this club.



Today I went down to the local junkyard and got a new fender, door latch ( I was pulling the leevers underneath ), and finally a cigarette lighter all for $65, the door latch alone would have cost $30 special order.

(06:22:40) Nicholas: YAY! found a new fender! only $65
(06:22:45) S: lol
(06:22:49) S: cool
(06:22:59) S: from when you smashed it? or new damage?
(06:23:04) Nicholas: hell of a lot cheaper than buying from toyota
(06:23:14) Nicholas: when I smashed it
(06:23:55) S: ok
(06:24:21) Nicholas: my car looks Soooooooooooo clean now, especially seeing the ones from the junk yard
(06:25:55) S: LOL
(06:25:57) S: of course

 

[Alfaholic]

I put forward my daily use 1989 Ford Fiesta LX for enrolment.

PROS:
Hmmmm. I typed "PROS" 10 minutes ago and haven't thought of any yet. I'll come back to them.

CONS:
1) It's a Ford Fiesta
2) Front wheel drive
3) One-point-bugger-all engine capacity (litres). With pushrods.
4) I bent it but it still looks like a Ford Fiesta.
5) The bits that haven't rusted away are a bit rusty.
6) Steering rack was designed for a bus (27 million turns from lock to lock)
7) The spare wheel latch has siezed, so the spare wheel cannot be removed from its cradle. This wouldn't be a problem except..
8) ..it seems to get an awful lot of punctures.
9) There's a badge on the steering wheel that reminds me I am driving a Ford Fiesta.
10) It runs on when I kill the ignition. I have heard that this phenomenon is known as "dieseling", but my car has a petrol engine.
11) Skoda Diesel drivers make fun of me.
12) The Windscreen smearers are unhelpful in wet weather
13) The headlights' effectiveness can be doubled by shining a penlight through the windscreen.
14) It has, like every Ford I ever have had, persistent cooling problems.

PROS:
1) The unshaded sunroof does not leak, as long as the car is always parked facing downhill.
2) The driving position is actually rather good.
3) The seats are comfortable on long journeys, which is a blessing since every journey is a long one (see CONS number 3)
4) It has plenty of room for passengers, though I have yet to persuade anyone besides my dog to go for a ride in it. The dog had to be tempted with chocolate drops.
5) It is reliable.

Actually I do the little thing a slight injustice. It's been a faithful runner and has served me fabulously well. But it can't help being the bottom rung on the automotive ladder

 

[skicrush]

I don't know that there's anything to vote on. But you ought to be able to buy new wipers for only a couple bucks. Still, I don't know that you cold get that car OUT of the club, even by sending twice what it's worth on upgrades/repairs.

 

[MrktMkr1986]

Well, if you insist on a pic here it is... Granted if I took one two days ago my car would look more convincing for this club.



Today I went down to the local junkyard and got a new fender, door latch ( I was pulling the leevers underneath ), and finally a cigarette lighter all for $65, the door latch alone would have cost $30 special order.

(06:22:40) Nicholas: YAY! found a new fender! only $65
(06:22:45) S: lol
(06:22:49) S: cool
(06:22:59) S: from when you smashed it? or new damage?
(06:23:04) Nicholas: hell of a lot cheaper than buying from toyota
(06:23:14) Nicholas: when I smashed it
(06:23:55) S: ok
(06:24:21) Nicholas: my car looks Soooooooooooo clean now, especially seeing the ones from the junk yard
(06:25:55) S: LOL
(06:25:57) S: of course

Nice looking car! I should have pictures of mine uploaded tomorrow.

 

[VIPFREAK]

Thanks... can't wait to see yours.

 

[Slicks]

So... my car.
1995 Neon, 4 door.

Cons
- 3 speed slushbox (tm) transmission
- Slushbox (tm) transmission leaks fluid, shifts hard about 1/2 the time
- 2.0 liter (ish? i'll check tomorrow) I-4 is connected to the afore mentioned power sucking Slushbox (tm).
-Engine leaks oil, not unlike a sieve. I have to check oil every day and add oil every 2-4 days.
- Burns oil when it is started cold on a cold day.
- Unknown knocking noise upon startup. Usually (but not always) alleviated by adding oil.
- Crappy blue paint is orange-peeled on the doors, and has many chips/places where paint is starting to peel off. Clearcoat is quickly becoming non-existent.
- Many tens of dings, fist sized dent above front left fender.
- All guages cut out while driving a couple days ago, had to park, ignition off, and restart before they worked again.
-Crappy aftermarket wheels were not washed by the previous owner and have brake dust permenantly engrained. Center logos ruined/missing.
- Check engine light comes on at random intervals
- Does 0-60 in about 13 seconds... ish
- No A/C, and a weak, dust blowing fan.
- Power accesories??? What are those?
- Stupid designers put a spoiler on the trunk, eliminating any and all rearwards vision.
- Unknown mileage, I will check tomorrow (260,000 or 160,000. Somewhere in there).
- Semi-uncomfortable seats, mainly on longer (1+ hour) trips.
- Interior had cigars (and possibly something.... stronger ) smoked in it.
- Interior is also musty.
- Numb, vauge steering.
- You have to press the brake pedal about 2 inches before you get into any significant braking. Soft pedal, but does not lose pressure. Brakes probably need to be bled.
- Rear (drum) brake pistons seep brake fluid.
- It's a Neon.

Pros
- New(ish) tires.
- Panasonic head unit with rattly 6x9's and half-decent kickpanel speakers.
- Wired for subs in back, which I don't have.
- While most clearcoat is MIA, the paint hasn't faded (yet... *evil laugh*).
- Starts easily, for all 2 months I've had it.
- Got it for free, but have to give it back eventually. My brother gets it after me.
- All badges are present
- Good basic transport for my unemployed ass (I hope to be getting a job soon, as I have been handing out resumes).

 

[MrktMkr1986]

So... my car.
1995 Neon, 4 door.

Cons
- 3 speed slushbox (tm) transmission

Nothing wrong with a 3-speed automatic. Everything from twin-turbcharged V8 Vectors to 8-second dragsters use 3-speed automatics.

- Slushbox (tm) transmission leaks fluid, shifts hard about 1/2 the time

A 10 year old car leaks transmission fluid? Ooops, forgot -- it's a Chrysler transmission.

- 2.0 liter (ish? i'll check tomorrow) I-4 is connected to the afore mentioned power sucking Slushbox (tm).

132-horsepower with single overhead cams. 2.0-liter is correct. It has a good power to weight ratio.

-Engine leaks oil, not unlike a sieve. I have to check oil every day and add oil every 2-4 days.

Try using a heavier than normal weight non-synthetic (mineral/dino) oil.

- Burns oil when it is started cold on a cold day.

See above.

- Unknown knocking noise upon startup. Usually (but not always) alleviated by adding oil.

Low oil pressure on startup is normal for some cars. Give it a few seconds for oil pressure to rise. DO NOT overfill the engine with oil -- that will cause increased oil consumption.

- All guages cut out while driving a couple days ago, had to park, ignition off, and restart before they worked again.

- Check engine light comes on at random intervals

It's an OBDI... have it checked for codes.

- Does 0-60 in about 13 seconds... ish

It's not that slow... there is something wrong...

- No A/C, and a weak, dust blowing fan.

If you mean no A/C as in it does not have A/C than that sucks. However, if the car has A/C but it does not work, that's due to the A/C evaporator freezing up because the compressor does not cycle off.

- Power accesories??? What are those?

You dont' NEED power accesories...

- Numb, vauge steering.

You have power steering! Remember, it's not a sports car.

- It's a Neon.

Neons are great cars.

Pros
- New(ish) tires.
- Panasonic head unit with rattly 6x9's and half-decent kickpanel speakers.
- Wired for subs in back, which I don't have.
- While most clearcoat is MIA, the paint hasn't faded (yet... *evil laugh*).
- Starts easily, for all 2 months I've had it.
- Got it for free, but have to give it back eventually. My brother gets it after me.
- All badges are present
- Good basic transport for my unemployed ass (I hope to be getting a job soon, as I have been handing out resumes).

Good luck with the job search. I'd say you should be eligible for the club.

 

[Slicks]

Nothing wrong with a 3-speed automatic. Everything from twin-turbcharged V8 Vectors to 8-second dragsters use 3-speed automatics.

Yes, but not the patented, power sucking Slushbox(tm).

A 10 year old car leaks transmission fluid? Ooops, forgot -- it's a Chrysler transmission.

I have a trans. service kit that I will eventually put to use. Mabye.

132-horsepower with single overhead cams. 2.0-liter is correct. It has a good power to weight ratio.

132 horsepower!? Wow, it feels like soooooo much less.

Try using a heavier than normal weight non-synthetic (mineral/dino) oil.

It leaks from the oil pan, and I am using regular oil, although it is 5W30.

Low oil pressure on startup is normal for some cars. Give it a few seconds for oil pressure to rise. DO NOT overfill the engine with oil -- that will cause increased oil consumption.

I always check the oil level before adding oil. And it probably is low oil psi.
Overfilling oil will also cause foaming, burning oil, and if foaming becomes excessive, not enough oil will reach the areas that need it.

It's an OBDI... have it checked for codes.

I will eventually get a repair manual and find out the codes. There is a way of shorting 2 circuits that will tell you what the trouble code is, but you need to find out what circuits to use. Or I can hook it up to the engine analyzer once school is in for the year.

It's not that slow... there is something wrong...

OK, I may have been egsaggerating a little bit there. But not by more than a second or two.

If you mean no A/C as in it does not have A/C than that sucks. However, if the car has A/C but it does not work, that's due to the A/C evaporator freezing up because the compressor does not cycle off.

No, it's no A/C in the first place. The weak fan doesn't help.
I love our recent heat wave, but not when I'm in that car.

You dont' NEED power accesories...

I know... but it is one more thing to get me into the CCC.

You have power steering! Remember, it's not a sports car.

To be completely honest, our Astro van has tighter steering than this. And less turns (lock to lock).

Neons are great cars.

If you say so.....

Good luck with the job search. I'd say you should be eligible for the club.

Thanks. I might need it.

 

[MrktMkr1986]

Yes, but not the patented, power sucking Slushbox(tm).

Ah, I see.

I have a trans. service kit that I will eventually put to use. Mabye.

That should hopefully make a difference.

132 horsepower!? Wow, it feels like soooooo much less.

That's what the factory rating is. However, factors such as altitude, temperature, etc. etc. affect horsepower. State of tune as well...

It leaks from the oil pan, and I am using regular oil, although it is 5W30.

If that's what the owner's manual recommends, keep it. I would say at least 10W30 for winter. More like 15W40 for summer. If you're using 5W30 in hot weather, the oil probably has a viscosity closer to water...

I always check the oil level before adding oil. And it probably is low oil psi.
Overfilling oil will also cause foaming, burning oil, and if foaming becomes excessive, not enough oil will reach the areas that need it.

Correct. So I am telling you things you already know?! Sorry...

I will eventually get a repair manual and find out the codes. There is a way of shorting 2 circuits that will tell you what the trouble code is, but you need to find out what circuits to use. Or I can hook it up to the engine analyzer once school is in for the year.

If there is an "AutoZone" in your area (not sure if that's a US-only establishment) they can check codes for you for free.

OK, I may have been egsaggerating a little bit there. But not by more than a second or two.

You'd be surprised how big a difference spark plugs makes (i.e. worn vs fresh, not the type of plug or the manufacturer).

No, it's no A/C in the first place. The weak fan doesn't help.
I love our recent heat wave, but not when I'm in that car.

I know... but it is one more thing to get me into the CCC.

True.

To be completely honest, our Astro van has tighter steering than this. And less turns (lock to lock).

So that's why the Astro can made it into Enthusia Professional Racing!!!

Thanks. I might need it.

👍

 

[MrktMkr1986]

I put forward my daily use 1989 Ford Fiesta LX for enrolment.

PROS:
Hmmmm. I typed "PROS" 10 minutes ago and haven't thought of any yet. I'll come back to them.

OK.

CONS:
1) It's a Ford Fiesta
2) Front wheel drive
3) One-point-bugger-all engine capacity (litres). With pushrods.
4) I bent it but it still looks like a Ford Fiesta.
5) The bits that haven't rusted away are a bit rusty.
6) Steering rack was designed for a bus (27 million turns from lock to lock)
7) The spare wheel latch has siezed, so the spare wheel cannot be removed from its cradle. This wouldn't be a problem except..
8) ..it seems to get an awful lot of punctures.
9) There's a badge on the steering wheel that reminds me I am driving a Ford Fiesta.
10) It runs on when I kill the ignition. I have heard that this phenomenon is known as "dieseling", but my car has a petrol engine.
11) Skoda Diesel drivers make fun of me.
12) The Windscreen smearers are unhelpful in wet weather
13) The headlights' effectiveness can be doubled by shining a penlight through the windscreen.
14) It has, like every Ford I ever have had, persistent cooling problems.

1) Nothing wrong with a Ford Fiesta.
2) Front-wheel drive is a good thing.
3) 1.0-liter engine = superior fuel economy.
4) Bent?!
5) That's not good
6) WOW!
7 & 8) That's bad... really bad.
9) That's a good thing.
10) "Dieseling" is when a car no longer needs the spark plugs to fire in order to combust the fuel/air mixture. I don't think the car is dieseling when it runs on after shutdown -- I think it's flooding.
11)
12)
13) So basically, they're about as effective as a candlelight in the middle of a hurricane. Got it.
14) I can attest to that... 1988 Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe --- always overheated.

PROS:
1) The unshaded sunroof does not leak, as long as the car is always parked facing downhill.
2) The driving position is actually rather good.
3) The seats are comfortable on long journeys, which is a blessing since every journey is a long one (see CONS number 3)
4) It has plenty of room for passengers, though I have yet to persuade anyone besides my dog to go for a ride in it. The dog had to be tempted with chocolate drops.
5) It is reliable.

1)
2) 👍
3)
4)
5) That's good.

 

[High-Test]

Some race engines "diesel" on lower octane gas when the ignition is turned off, because the compression is so darn high.

13.) That's what I'm going thru in my lexus! And I have a couple penlights in my glovebox!

 

[Alfaholic]

OK.



1) Nothing wrong with a Ford Fiesta.
2) Front-wheel drive is a good thing.
3) 1.0-liter engine = superior fuel economy.
4) Bent?!

1) Nope, nothing wrong with a Ford Fiesta if it's the car behind you
2) FWd is a good thing if the alternative is roller skates
3) ...Is true. Partly because of the reduced drag the car has to endure when it spends long periods following articulated lorries because it does not have enough power to overtake them.
4) Bent.... I made some detail changes to the shape of the car. Some were unplanned

 

[Slicks]

I don't live in that hot of an area. It's been 27Celcius (umm... 80ish in farenheit), so the 5w30 should be fine. I live at sea level, with dense humid air (Vancouver Island, Canada).

No Autozone in my area (I do believe it's US only), and I haven't looked into plugs. Yet. And although I know the effects of overfilling an engine w/ oil, I didn't put the connection together between the knocking and (possible) low oil PSI.

 

[KaffeinE 86]

I have a maroon '96 Mazda Protege DX. 112k miles.

Pros:

1) Comfortable for a small car
2) Better-than-horibble mileage (29mpg overall)
3) Good sound system from the previous owner
4) Trunk space is decent for a puny car. One may also break into the main cabin from the trunk by kicking down the back seats, so nobody will be abducting me in my own car.
5) Power windows, steering, and brakes

Cons:
1) 4-cyl, 1.8 liters, ~120 hp on a good day. DOHC, I think.
2) Front-wheel drive & automatic, as well as rear drum brakes
3) Very instable on icy roads (I live in Minnesota) or dirt at speeds of over 20 mph. It oversteers in a straight line, for the love of Bob.
4) The steering squeals (like an army of recently-castrated pigs) when it's near the lock. Lots of frightened looks when pulling out of a parking spot.
5) Malfunction-prone. Sometimes the airbag lights flashes and it scares the crap out of me. Last time it was the rear drum brakes braking at uneven strengths and making me veer to the left whenever I wanted to stop.
6) My penis is longer than the tires are wide.
7) Only one window-cleaner-squirter works at full strength. The other one looks like someone's ten feet below me and peeing on my windshield after drinking too much blue Gatorade.
8) The air conditioner is a wuss.
9) Every time I see a ricer I have to remind myself that his drivable moron badge is faster than my car.
10) If it shifts above 3500 RPM it bangs your head between the wheel and headrest like one of those old klacker toys.
11)

Alfaholic's #10 made me lmao.

 

[VIPFREAK]

How many miles? got more details?

 

[KaffeinE 86]

I edited it.

 

[VIPFREAK]

I have a maroon '96 Mazda Protege DX. 112k miles.

Pros:

1) Comfortable for a small car
2) Better-than-horibble mileage (29mpg overall)
3) Good sound system from the previous owner
4) Trunk space is decent for a puny car. One may also break into the main cabin from the trunk by kicking down the back seats, so nobody will be abducting me in my own car.
5) Power windows, steering, and brakes

Cons:
1) 4-cyl, 1.8 liters, ~120 hp on a good day. DOHC, I think.
2) Front-wheel drive & automatic, as well as rear drum brakes
3) Very instable on icy roads (I live in Minnesota) or dirt at speeds of over 20 mph. It oversteers in a straight line, for the love of Bob.
4) The steering squeals (like an army of recently-castrated pigs) when it's near the lock. Lots of frightened looks when pulling out of a parking spot.
5) Malfunction-prone. Sometimes the airbag lights flashes and it scares the crap out of me. Last time it was the rear drum brakes braking at uneven strengths and making me veer to the left whenever I wanted to stop.
6) My penis is longer than the tires are wide.
7) Only one window-cleaner-squirter works at full strength. The other one looks like someone's ten feet below me and peeing on my windshield after drinking too much blue Gatorade.
8) The air conditioner is a wuss.
9) Every time I see a ricer I have to remind myself that his drivable moron badge is faster than my car.
10) If it shifts above 3500 RPM it bangs your head between the wheel and headrest like one of those old klacker toys.
11)

Alfaholic's #10 made me lmao.

Yep... got all those and my car is only 100hp I can't imagine how much ****tyer my car would be in your weather conditions.

ho k... will take your word for it

You know they are adjustable?

Not nessarily... most of them are idiots dat can't drive worth ****

I don't think your car is ****ty enough... sorry dood. It's up to Event (if his ass isn't lazy to reply)

 

[Event]

yeah your car isn't fit for the C³. It was built with most of those problems. Deal with it.

 

[MrktMkr1986]

I have a maroon '96 Mazda Protege DX. 112k miles.

Cons:
1) 4-cyl, 1.8 liters, ~120 hp on a good day. DOHC, I think.

Should make for a decent power-to-weight. 122 horsepower, 117 lb.ft. of torque, 2,400 lbs.

2) Front-wheel drive & automatic, as well as rear drum brakes

Most cars on the road are front wheel drive with automatic transmissions. That's not a con.

3) Very instable on icy roads (I live in Minnesota) or dirt at speeds of over 20 mph. It oversteers in a straight line, for the love of Bob.

You need a 4-wheel alignment.

4) The steering squeals (like an army of recently-castrated pigs) when it's near the lock. Lots of frightened looks when pulling out of a parking spot.

When was the last time you checked the power steering fluid level?

5) Malfunction-prone. Sometimes the airbag lights flashes and it scares the crap out of me. Last time it was the rear drum brakes braking at uneven strengths and making me veer to the left whenever I wanted to stop.

That's pad -- err -- bad.

6) My penis is longer than the tires are wide.

I should hope so... otherwise, that would be pretty bad.

7) Only one window-cleaner-squirter works at full strength. The other one looks like someone's ten feet below me and peeing on my windshield after drinking too much blue Gatorade.

I have the same problem on my Volvo 740 Turbo. It's funny you should mention that!

8) The air conditioner is a wuss.

Get it recharged. R-134a is wonderful thing. My A/C now blows air at about 37 degrees.

9) Every time I see a ricer I have to remind myself that his drivable moron badge is faster than my car.

That's not bad. Most cars are not designed to go fast.

10) If it shifts above 3500 RPM it bangs your head between the wheel and headrest like one of those old klacker toys.

Transmission fluid level been checked lately?

11)

Alfaholic's #10 made me lmao.

 

[Event]

I should hope so... otherwise, that would be pretty bad.

You should remember..... you're black... You know what they say about black guys...

 

[MrktMkr1986]

You should remember..... you're black... You know what they say about black guys...

Oh yeah!

Actually, that's not entirely true. "Size" is more about blood flow, not necesssarily about race. ... just so ya know. I could get into more details, but I don't want to go too off topic. I'll PM you tomorrow.

 

[Event]

Oh yeah!

Actually, that's not entirely true. "Size" is more about blood flow, not necesssarily about race. ... just so ya know. I could get into more details, but I don't want to go too off topic. I'll PM you tomorrow.

I'll be looking forward to it.

 

[MrktMkr1986]

I'll be looking forward to it.

I knew you would!

I may have to re-apply to the C3, though. One of the windshield washer jets only squirts enough fluid to leave a puddle of washer fluid on the hood; one of my brake lights is dead (I have the bulbs to replace, though). After a hard drive, light steam comes out of the oil dipstick tube if the dipstick is removed. Maybe the latter has something to do with the fact that the brick has 199 degree thermostat whereas the T-Bird had a 160 degree thermostat? Umm, that's the only thing that I can think of that is wrong with the car...

 

[Slicks]

So am I in?