Depression and Anxiety Thread

[Danoff]

What the **** more do you want from me? Am I not allowed to come here and speak about the issues that I'm going through? Do I have to come and be confronted by you and Danoff saying "Yep, that's life, suck it up"?

I know you won't be reading this, but for those rest of the folks reading this thread... I think it's clear that's not even the gist of what I was saying. What I was saying is that his cat's survival is an opportunity, but it's a short window. Pets that have serious medical issues don't usually last another 10 years, I hope for all of our sakes that Imari is not hinging his well-being on something so delicate in 2 years.

That really comes across as nothing more than a condescending taunt, and not anywhere near being even "tough love". I got into a scuffle with @Imari a few months ago on GTP and he acted out a bit and pulled out the claws, but I think that people earn the right to latitude, and he had plenty in the bank. I hope that @Danoff might be able to be broad-shouldered enough to think similarly.

I wouldn't describe my post as "tough love". I don't love Imari, but I like him and I'm rooting for him to succeed. It also wasn't "tough". I more than recognize that his response is coming from an unhealthy place. I'm not asking him how he's going to run away from bandits with a broken leg. I'm telling him that the bandits are coming fast, and no one can heal his broken leg but him. I don't know how he's going to do it, but it'll have to be him. Doctors, psychiatrists, pyschologists, and meds can empower him, but ultimately it has to be him.

I look forward to being able to chat with him again someday.

 

[LeMansAid]

@Danoff To be clear, the "tough love" (or rather, falling woefully short of tough love) bit was not addressing you, or any part of your post. The only thing I was really saying to you was that I hoped that you'd be able to place enough history of character context in this to give @Imari some leeway regarding his tone.

I have no doubt that you had the best of intentions. My take? I see the cat as a source of solace. When I was taking anti-depressants I viewed them as pain killers, rather than anything that would actually cure, even temporarily. More of a tool for a "stay of execution" if you will. I think that's what's going on with puss. If it's equal to the difference between having and not having anti-depressants, it's a fair call to have a lot riding on it.

Depression is a brutal and evil thing. Possibly the most sinister thing it does is make a person not want to be rid of the what they hate so much - the depression itself. It makes no sense, but it's what happens. It's not just a linear negative force, it's conniving and adaptable in it's offensive.

 

[Danoff]

If it's equal to the difference between having and not having anti-depressants, it's a fair call to have a lot riding on it.

It'd be safer to ride a lot on the drugs than a sick cat. I totally understand being overly attached to a pet. I've been there, and somehow they have a way of getting very sick or injured right when you can't handle it. Think about it, if you're depressed for years, eventually that cat is going to get sick. Whenever that happens, you get a "I don't need this right now" response from the person, but the bottom line is that it is inevitable. It's great that his cat is going to pull through, because it gives him a chance (a short one) to find something else worth living for. I hope you guys can help him with that.

 

[MatskiMonk]

Well I can sympathise with Imari for a couple of reasons. Being responsible for the well-being of a loved one, be it a partner, child or pet, when you're in a situation you feel powerless to do anything about is horrible... especially (IMHO) when it boils down to money. It can be a huge weight to sit on your shoulders, and when that is combined with the possibility of also having to cope with the death of a loved one (be it partner, child or pet), it can leave an enormous black hole of absolutely toxic emotion inside someone. Feelings of absolute helplessness in the face of an absolute outcome can easily lead to a state of panic, it's awful, and the reason why I've stooped to some properly shameful behavior in the past in order to drink away the situation.

@Danoff, I can see what you are saying, and I don't want to speak for @Imari, but facing the death of a pet when it occurs as a matter of time and inevitability isn't the same as facing a situation where you could have an influence, but aren't able to (or don't) act for whatever reason. Imari seems to accept this, as he indicated, if he had done everything he could (i.e. got the cat the surgery), and then it not survived, it would somehow have felt "fair game". It's easier to accept an outcome if you've done everything you've possibly can to avoid it, at least IMHO anyway.

 

[LeMansAid]

It's great that his cat is going to pull through, because it gives him a chance (a short one) to find something else worth living for. I hope you guys can help him with that.

I don't think it's about living for the cat, it's that the cat helps make living bearable. He knows that there's a fair wad of irrationality to it, but it's even possible that that's what he needs to live through at this time. Extreme pragmatism and ceaseless rationalising can be crippling in the face of the struggles that come with depression and anxiety. A rigidly rational approach may even be what ultimately brought him to this low ebb. In some ways it's the people that hold their emotions right at the surface that have a better shot at dealing with depression. If pragmatism and rationality could kill depression, I reckon I'd have had mine dead long ago. Sometimes one's own dedication to logic can be helpful, sometimes it's a hindrance, and sometimes it's that of others that is no more than a hindrance.

None of us have anything objectively worth living for. Given that, the cat would be just as valid as any other reason, if it weren't for it's finiteness - but again, he's not living for the cat. So what is worth living for? Well that's tantamount to asking "What is the meaning of life?". I live for creativity, I feel alive when I create, and hopefully that's something that's nigh on infinite for me.

 

[Danoff]

I don't think it's about living for the cat, it's that the cat helps make living bearable. He knows that there's a fair wad of irrationality to it, but it's even possible that that's what he needs to live through at this time. Extreme pragmatism and ceaseless rationalising can be crippling in the face of the struggles that come with depression and anxiety. A rigidly rational approach may even be what ultimately brought him to this low ebb. In some ways it's the people that hold their emotions right at the surface that have a better shot at dealing with depression. If pragmatism and rationality could kill depression, I reckon I'd have had mine dead long ago. Sometimes one's own dedication to logic can be helpful, sometimes it's a hindrance, and sometimes it's that of others that is no more than a hindrance.

None of us have anything objectively worth living for. Given that, the cat would be just as valid as any other reason, if it weren't for it's finiteness - but again, he's not living for the cat. So what is worth living for? Well that's tantamount to asking "What is the meaning of life?". I live for creativity, I feel alive when I create, and hopefully that's something that's nigh on infinite for me.

You live for what gives your life meaning, you kinda got to my point by the time you finished your post. I didn't ask him to be rational, nor did I rationalize anything about his life.

Look, I'm fine being the bad guy. It's a role someone in this thread had to play. He's depressed, he's not a 5 year old. You can't help him with depression by pretending that life is wonderful because his cat pulled through. He's still denying his situation too, he mentioned 10 years. 10 years! You can't expect 10 years out of any cat. Let alone a cat that required surgery to survive. Denial is the first stage of grief. Let's hope he progresses instead of regressing. My guess is regression will start, but maybe something I said (which apparently nobody else was going to say since we're walking on egg shells around someone smart enough to know that we're doing it) will stick with him and help him move on.

I also fully understand that the cat is beside the point, and that nobody hinges their own well being on their pet unless they're suffering in many ways. But how you handle something like a pet dying or getting sick is a good analogy to how you handle any of life's problems. His response was "why is this happening to me?" and "how can I make this go away". Neither of those indicates a readiness or willingness to address the issue. That's the real problem, and I don't think he can be helped by avoiding that.

 

[LeMansAid]

You can't help him with depression by pretending that life is wonderful because his cat pulled through.

How fitting it would be if his cat's name was Hyperbole.

You had a crack at what you thought was the right thing to say, despite it being confronting. I respect that. I also think that you are assuming too much about him and the situation, and thinking that the reason no-one else is treading your same path is because they're not willing to be the "bad guy". You could have at least prefaced your advice with an "Is it possible that.....", rather than just assuming you had everything right. If you know you're offering up a bitter pill, the least you can do is offer a bit of sugar to help the medicine go down. I know what it's like to subconsciously be proud of being the righteous "bad guy", and on occasion I've overdone it with my approach to people because of that. I'm not saying that you're doing that, but just that you may want to be aware of the possibility.

There's a luck thread buried away in the Rumble Strip. A while back I posted something that I think can apply particularly to people with depression....

I've long related bad "luck" to gambling. Specifically, the drive to make back what's been lost.

I remember retrospectively seeing a risk taking bent in myself at a particular time when a few things had failed to fall my way. Instead of resetting to a neutral position after the misfortune, and accepting that the happenings were either my/others' bad management of situations and/or simply unfortunate outcomes, I appeared to adopt a tendency to act as if attempting to will something to happen that would bring unusual benefit. ie. I pushed my "luck", which for the most part, created bad "luck".

There are two choices for each of the two versions of so called luck - Bad? Try to counter it with a) risk, or b) method. Good? Try to prolong it with a) risk, or b) method. Method is where I'm at in principle if not always in practice, and where possible in life I choose cynical optimism over gullible pessimism, cynical pessimism, or gullible optimism.

I don't know if this would apply partially, wholly, or not at all to @Imari, but a person that has hit rock bottom due to, or due in part to, pushing their "luck" needs most of all to stop that cycle. As long as they do that, the pain killers they use along the way will be by the by.

 

[Joel]

Being depressed does not give you free reign to insult others.

I don't think this is fair.

Dude is posting in a depression thread about his cat which he's relied on for psychological well being having a serious injury, and instead of support he gets told to face reality by our Pull Up Your Bootstraps Brigade of logical geniuses on the day his cat comes home from surgery, and accused of having a crying pity party.

Sure, he shouldn't have broken the rules but I have a hard time seeing this:

I'm certainly not going to tune in for a pity party. Did your psychologist tell you to have a fit on the interwebs as part of your therapy?

or this:

I'm glad to hear that your cat is getting taken care of. Unfortunately that cat is going to die. Hopefully not right now, but probably not all that long from now.

as a tactful thing to say. I guess I'm just tired of so called brutal honesty seeming more and more like a front for being brutal rather than honest.

 

[GTboyz]

Can i just chime in a little bit here ?

First of all, i get what people are trying to do here with the advice and the "tough love". I really do get they mean well. But for the most part, people with depression just need support. Advices like the ones directed to @Imari won't work well, it sounds like an advice you give to someone who is griefing or being sad and experiencing a loss while depression is an illness.

Imo just give support, it's the best you can give in a thread for depression.

 

[FoRiZon]

Wish I can lash out like Imari does and supported by many people....


Who cares. Im just a branded failure thats gone downhill anyways, both IRL and here.

 

[GTboyz]

Wish I can lash out like Imari does and supported by many people....


Who cares. Im just a branded failure thats gone downhill anyways, both IRL and here.

Yeah i know, there's a ticking time bomb inside me, wish i can blow it up someday and maybe people would understand me then.

Depression is a brutal and evil thing. Possibly the most sinister thing it does is make a person not want to be rid of the what they hate so much - the depression itself. It makes no sense, but it's what happens. It's not just a linear negative force, it's conniving and adaptable in it's offensive.

I guess I'm just tired of so called brutal honesty seeming more and more like a front for being brutal rather than honest.

These two describes pretty well of what am i feeling nowadays.

 

[LeMansAid]

Wish I can lash out like Imari does and supported by many people....


Who cares. Im just a branded failure thats gone downhill anyways, both IRL and here.

I'm reading this as you want to do what you think Imari shouldn't do. Considering the admiration you seemed to have had for him in the past, you sure appeared to jump off the Imari train pretty quick when the ride got a little rough.

I've seen you state in this thread that essentially you believe that a person's mental health is dependent on how people treat them. I actually think that's not accurate at all, and that a person can cultivate self-worth, a clear mind, aspirations, or what ever else they may need as an afflicted person, independent of other humans. But, your view on that in combination with showing basically no allegiance in terms of support, is kinda rotten.

In my opinion you've got quite a few skewed stances on depression that may really be holding you back. I had followed this thread, reading the content, long before I chose to post in it. I apologise for that, because I should have raised my voice and offered an alternate angle at those times. I hope that doesn't come across as overstating my importance.

Back on the want to be able to lash out - that can be a horrible thing to have to deal with. The coping mechanisms that people can develop to get themselves through abusive upbringings can become seriously restrictive in later life. Some will rationalise at all costs, or put up impenetrable walls, or place themselves constantly in harm's way having been numbed to any pain, or adopt any number of other survival techniques. The situation I'm dealing with at the moment is that I just found out (literally two days ago) that I was drugged by my father as a child for..... "purposes". I actually genuinely don't yet know what those purposes were. Having been told that, the way my memories from childhood work make a lot more sense now. Thing is, it doesn't hurt. I'm not angry, sad, or falling to pieces over these new revelations. I look at it completely rationally, musing that maybe there's some helpful information there to aid my search for mental well being. I'm in a cycle where the thing that holds me back, holds me back from dealing with the thing that holds me back. Wish me luck.

So, much as I was disappointed to see your reaction to the Imari situation - I feel I can empathise. There was clearly another reaction that I thought went way beyond acceptable, so obviously there's a line though - at least in my world. I wish you the best, and plan on continuing to interact here.

Edit - Gah, I might feel disconnected and pragmatic about the events of my life, but sharing that stuff is really difficult. This sharing crap better pay off one day.

 

[CarBastard]

I just got that feeling that I fear I may get this weekend while watching Le Mans.

I looked up to the shelves where I got my die-cast collection and saw a pair of little cardboard boxes with the Porsche and Ferrari crests hand-drawn on them, right on the shelf where I have a 996 911 Turbo, a 997 991 GT3 RS, an F40 and an F50...she made those boxes for me as a present.

It's been six months and I still find like living inside a Queen song. You know, the sad ones. My whole scale of values is upside down and it's only excarcerbated by the physical need of intimate contact. A tender hug, a kiss, a night of love. 5 years we were together and in a matter of weeks I got replaced, not even Audi Sport replaces stuff that fast! I'm tired of peole telling me "Oh, get over it, it's just a woman, just go have some fun, casual sex!", what the 🤬 this world has come to? What is love worth nowadays?

Betrayal, after so much time and so much good and bad, is absolutely disheartening. I know I can be loved by another woman, I don't have self-steem issues, I'm not even properly depressed according to my psychiatrist...yet I've informed both him and my psychologist about my plans to end it all if I'm still alone by the end of the year. My mom knows as well, just that I haven't given her the specific date or terms.

I...I just needed to get this off my chest before I could move on watching the race...

 

[Com Fox]

"Oh, get over it, it's just a woman, just go have some fun, casual sex!", what the 🤬 this world has come to? What is love worth nowadays?

My Personal Education teacher told us that you'll likely never be with the first person you love forever. You got, say, trial and error until eventually you know the right person for you.

 

[CarBastard]

My Personal Education teacher told us that you'll likely never be with the first person you love forever. You got, say, trial and error until eventually you know the right person for you.

I get what you're saying and I apreciate the sentiment, however one of the things I've learnt is that "finding the right person" is a bit of a cultural idea fantasy. I rather believe in knowing a reasonable person with whom you can have great communication right up to the point of sharing your intimacy and working the issues that come along the way with calm, care and a bit of persistance. You don't find the right partner, you become the right partners.

This is why my first post in this thread was about a medical paper that discussed rational suicide. I feel that is honestly my situation. It's not that I can't live life without her, it's not that I believe there won't be any other woman from me...it's just that I'm bored with life, very disappointed with the world around me and how it works. It just doesn't seem worth all the hassle, so why bother?

 

[GTboyz]

I'm tired of peole telling me "Oh, get over it, it's just a woman, just go have some fun, casual sex!", what the 🤬 this world has come to? What is love worth nowadays?

Ugh i hear you, that's what they said to me after my break up.

 

[LeMansAid]

This is why my first post in this thread was about a medical paper that discussed rational suicide. I feel that is honestly my situation. It's not that I can't live life without her, it's not that I believe there won't be any other woman from me...it's just that I'm bored with life, very disappointed with the world around me and how it works. It just doesn't seem worth all the hassle, so why bother?

Objective meaning doesn't exist, so every single person in the world subsists on subjective reasoning in valuing their life. Some people live for stamp collecting, some for saving the lives of starving children. It would be easy to consciously or subconsciously think that saving starving children is closer to having objective value, but that is contingent on the lives of the starving children having objective value - which they don't. Any of their subjective value is moot, because well...... it's subjective.

Humans have managed to make having the drive to do, an extremely complex thing. Most animals keep it simple and aim to stay alive and procreate. Hmm, on second thoughts, a lot of humans may well still be with the animals. But SOME humans are far more esoteric and have opened up a whole world of pointless ventures to satiate the need for this synthesised valuing of life. Animals and many humans are blank, their shade is white, all they want to do is stay alive and procreate. For others that are coloured, that contemplate and interrogate thoughts and ideas, all they need do is just spin the every colour of the rainbow that they exhibit, and see that they indeed spin white, and are back to simple. If it's stamps, it's stamps. If it's saving starving children, so be it.

I'm not going to tell you that your life has meaning. It doesn't - but it will feel like it does when you come across the thing that does it for you, and that's the best that any of us can hope for. I hope that you can find your pointless-but-feels-meaningful "thing", because I suppose..... me hoping that, is part of my "thing".

 

[CarBastard]

Objective meaning doesn't exist, so every single person in the world subsists on subjective reasoning in valuing their life. Some people live for stamp collecting, some for saving the lives of starving children. It would be easy to consciously or subconsciously think that saving starving children is closer to having objective value, but that is contingent on the lives of the starving children having objective value - which they don't. Any of their subjective value is moot, because well...... it's subjective.

Humans have managed to make having the drive to do, an extremely complex thing. Most animals keep it simple and aim to stay alive and procreate. Hmm, on second thoughts, a lot of humans may well still be with the animals. But SOME humans are far more esoteric and have opened up a whole world of pointless ventures to satiate the need for this synthesised valuing of life. Animals and many humans are blank, their shade is white, all they want to do is stay alive and procreate. For others that are coloured, that contemplate and interrogate thoughts and ideas, but they need just to spin the every colour of the rainbow that they exhibit, and see that they indeed spin white, and are back to simple. If it's stamps, it's stamps. If it's saving starving children, so be it.

I'm not going to tell you that your life has meaning. It doesn't - but it will feel like it does when you come across the thing that does it for you, and that's the best that any of us can hope for. I hope that you can find your pointless-but-feels-meaningful "thing", because I suppose..... me hoping that, is part of my "thing".

🤬 me sideways, matey-boy! That was a lovely post to read, thank you very much indeed! Yes, you just hit the nail on the head and summarized a good number of my most intimate thoughts. Besides motorsports, which I can't really practice often or take as a career path, I'd say I live for the non-sensical pleasure of intersubjectivity. I love loving, I adore silly things like people making a line to hop on a bus, I like living with someone else (not for, not thanks to or despite). Putting it in those terms, that's why this heartbreak is no simple "Dude, she just a 🤬" matter but a serious "🤬 existance" thing.

It doesn't fix anything, because as we all here know this isn't about quick fixes, but it really helps when you receive actual sympathy, proper Adam Smith-esque sympathy from another human being. It makes you feel like you're not taking crazy-pills, like you're actually part of a world of meaning and that you're not far off interpreting that meaning or, at least, just as far off as people who're like you.

Bring it on Le Mans, you'll keep me alive until tomorrow! Here's hoping my car is out of the shop soon and it can carry me on until the end of the year. Then we'll see!

 

[LeMansAid]

It's funny how a like-minded discussion about the meaninglessness of life can inspire a sense of meaning in it's contributors.

Glad that this LeMans will Aid in surviving that Le Mans. Talk about destiny....

 

[CarBastard]

It's funny how a like-minded discussion about the meaningless of life can inspire a sense of meaning in it's contributors.

Glad that this LeMans will Aid in surviving that Le Mans. Talk about destiny....

It's those kind of small coincidences that make it seem life is meaningful. You know, little "miracles" on your day to day stuff that make you feel like the world is made for you and just for you!

Cheers mate, this year's race would've been ruined by a :censored:y mood without your intervention!

 

[FoRiZon]

I saw the Le Mans thread and i get some harsh life lesson:

No matter how you try, if you fail than you fail, period. Its pretty much a fact. Even myself experienced it most of the time. Not everyone is born a winner, famous, or even likable.

 

[GTboyz]

I still see some people associating depression with the lack of "not being close to God". Jeez their so called "depression discussion" is like a ******* cancer.

 

[V0RT3X]

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. Recently at work (I work in retail.) I noticed that towards the ends of interactions with customers they started trailing off and seemed to I assume like me less or something. They would be friendly at first but towards the end they would become seemingly more irritated with me. I wasn't saying anything different but because I have not been feeling as friendly as usual it's possible that I'm just giving off a bad vibe. Of course these poor interactions don't help.

I realized that I don't like change. I knew that for a long time but I just now realized the extent and why. I'm afraid that things will be worse than how they are now and if things now are okayish then I don't bother trying to change. Example: I always get a cheeseburger and fries most places I go because I'm worried I won't like something I haven't tried before. However that's how it is with pretty much everything. I sit imagining what I plan on doing for something whether it be my school situation, relationships, or my car. All I do is think about what I'm going to do and never do it. Perhaps because I'm afraid of change? I keep imagining how they would go and how happy I'd be but I never do anything to accomplish these goals. Am I stuck in a rut or something?

 

[CarBastard]

I saw the Le Mans thread and i get some harsh life lesson:

No matter how you try, if you fail than you fail, period. Its pretty much a fact. Even myself experienced it most of the time. Not everyone is born a winner, famous, or even likable.

Hey, I got exactly the same feeling! Perhaps that's why I took Toyota's defeat a bit too personal. It just felt to me like a grand espectacle, a magnificent opera with the most soul-crushing ending possible. It immediately reminded me of my previous relationship: no matter how hard you try, no matter your attitude, your preparation or your skills, something completely out of your control can fail and take it all away from you. I literally dropped on my knees and cried when I saw Nakajima stranded on the Mulsanne, overcome by emotions not unlike those I would've felt while watching a theater play or while reading a good book. :censored:ing Shakespeare couldn't have written a more dramatic story!

I still see some people associating depression with the lack of "not being close to God". Jeez their so called "depression discussion" is like a ******* cancer.

Ugh, general people are so :censored:ing clueless when it comes to depression that it's almost rage-inducing. Pay no mind to them...

 

[GTracer125]

My existence has become nothing but a nuisance to anyone and everyone in sight. I honest give up on this whole mess, this "depression" or "anxiety" or whatever the hell other people want to call it... All I learned out of all is that the only way the only way to treat someone like this is to lock them away and forget about them forever, all I wanted to be was somebody and yet it was better than I was never acknowledged in the first place.

People higher around know about me, so many doctors know about my case that they all are basically after me, the law is after me, everything around me wants me gone... All is this was pretty much for nothing.

I honestly forget I even have mental issues and yet I am always dragged back to the same point and I am blamed for being "stuck in the past", well not like there's anything memorable anyways...

I am always told that I am wrong and that I have this and I have that and I am not doing enough... I already fought against this basically all my life, what more is there to do!!!

That's why I don't care anymore, If my justifications and thoughts are always wrong, why should I care about yours...

I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore, why should I care about something I hear many thousands and thousands of time. I am basically a dropout at this point and so many know that and just want to lock me up.

My parents could care less, hell my mother's been lying to so many people so they won't take me away and now she doesn't give a ****

My Father doesn't care at all and just insults me and jokes around like I am nothing but a toy.

I should have never opened my mouth.

I should never have gone to Pre.k when I was only 3.

I should have never been taken of by my idiotic aunt.

I should have always been quiet.

I should have never asked for a brother.

I shouldn't have existed at all.

This is it then, no one cares at all anymore and neither do I, I know I will be taken care of sooner or later... That's what everyone wants... They did more harm to me and complain about the things I apparently did to them...

Well all I can say now is...

Nothing...

 

[Com Fox]

I've been going to doctors later because apparently I have to recognized with Autism due to changes in the Government however what I find odd was that it turns out I actually suffer from Anxiety as well .

While it isn't really depression, I really don't feel like a person that would suffer from anxiety compared to other people who suffer from anxiety tell me. Sure I might be anxious about stuff but I always felt it was me being imaginative in moments, I do move me arms a lot when I do think about stuff but I always felt that something else and not anxiety.

Even if I do suffer from anxiety, is it common for people with anxiety to not suffer from depression?

 

[CarBastard]

My existence has become nothing but a nuisance to anyone and everyone in sight. I honest give up on this whole mess, this "depression" or "anxiety" or whatever the hell other people want to call it... All I learned out of all is that the only way the only way to treat someone like this is to lock them away and forget about them forever, all I wanted to be was somebody and yet it was better than I was never acknowledged in the first place.

People higher around know about me, so many doctors know about my case that they all are basically after me, the law is after me, everything around me wants me gone... All is this was pretty much for nothing.

I honestly forget I even have mental issues and yet I am always dragged back to the same point and I am blamed for being "stuck in the past", well not like there's anything memorable anyways...

I am always told that I am wrong and that I have this and I have that and I am not doing enough... I already fought against this basically all my life, what more is there to do!!!

That's why I don't care anymore, If my justifications and thoughts are always wrong, why should I care about yours...

I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore, why should I care about something I hear many thousands and thousands of time. I am basically a dropout at this point and so many know that and just want to lock me up.

My parents could care less, hell my mother's been lying to so many people so they won't take me away and now she doesn't give a ****

My Father doesn't care at all and just insults me and jokes around like I am nothing but a toy.

I should have never opened my mouth.

I should never have gone to Pre.k when I was only 3.

I should have never been taken of by my idiotic aunt.

I should have always been quiet.

I should have never asked for a brother.

I shouldn't have existed at all.

This is it then, no one cares at all anymore and neither do I, I know I will be taken care of sooner or later... That's what everyone wants... They did more harm to me and complain about the things I apparently did to them...

Well all I can say now is...

Nothing...

All I can say to you is to consider things with a clear (-ish) head. There's no shame in suicide and there's nothing essentially wrong with suicidal thoughts but you should, in my opinion, only consider it seriously if you think of it as a decision instead of an impulse, as something you choose to do and not something you're forced to do. Ever heard of the 3 days rule? It suggests that you take 3 days to think things out before actually going ahead with suicide. Well, why not trying a six months or one year rule? Give it your absolute everything for the last time, just for kicks and if it works out and your life somehow improves, well, that's great! Who knows, maybe there's a chance? But in case stuff stays the same, and you still feel like turning off the lightbulb, you can go ahead with no regrets and proceed to leave, as Borges would say, "the nothingness to nobody".

I've been going to doctors later because apparently I have to recognized with Autism due to changes in the Government however what I find odd was that it turns out I actually suffer from Anxiety as well .

While it isn't really depression, I really don't feel like a person that would suffer from anxiety compared to other people who suffer from anxiety tell me. Sure I might be anxious about stuff but I always felt it was me being imaginative in moments, I do move me arms a lot when I do think about stuff but I always felt that something else and not anxiety.

Even if I do suffer from anxiety, is it common for people with anxiety to not suffer from depression?

That's bull:censored:. Maybe it's got to do with the ever-increasing amount of diagnostics that are solely driven by the thirst of the pharmaceutical industry: "Oh, you're sligtly sad? Depression! Oh, you are shy? Boom, chronic anxiety! Mood swings, you say? Bipolar disorder and borderline schizophrenia! Yeah! Prescriptions for everyone!" . But in all seriousness, why the 🤬 should you care about how the goverment catalogues you?

In my opinion, that's not an anxiety disorder. Key word here being "disorder". Everyone is in some measure anxious for something, some of us are over imaginative and move our limbs a bit too much because we like being busy or like to express ourselves constantly through non-verbal language, but ask yourself, does anxiety affect your life to the point of impairing your daily routine or your preferred activities? If it doesn't, well 🤬 that 🤬! Anxiety, in my opinion, is like fear: we all have it in one way or another and we express it in different ways, some are able to overcome their fears with ease and some are crippled by their fears and are unable to live a """""normal""""" life due to them. All that matters is how you feel!

 

[FoRiZon]

Even if I do suffer from anxiety, is it common for people with anxiety to not suffer from depression?

Sort of but not really. Anxiety can really amplifies and majorly leads into the depression. Its just if anyone have depression, they basically set their self worth into almost zero.

 

[MatskiMonk]

I've been going to doctors later because apparently I have to recognized with Autism due to changes in the Government however what I find odd was that it turns out I actually suffer from Anxiety as well .

While it isn't really depression, I really don't feel like a person that would suffer from anxiety compared to other people who suffer from anxiety tell me. Sure I might be anxious about stuff but I always felt it was me being imaginative in moments, I do move me arms a lot when I do think about stuff but I always felt that something else and not anxiety.

Even if I do suffer from anxiety, is it common for people with anxiety to not suffer from depression?

General Anxiety Disorder can be categorised by some fairly common symptoms, and those symptoms do not have to include depression - however, the brain chemistry behind it has some similarities, so some of the treatments are basically the same.

For me, anxiety is similar to depression, but instead of the general state of mind being sadness or despair or pointlessness, it's varying levels of worry an panic. I think you could be anxious, or depressed, or both. I think it would depend on other general factors in your life, and how your mind attempts to cope with with what the brain chemistry is doing. Personally, I think my depression evolved into anxiety a few years ago, and to be honest, I'm finding it much harder to live with.

 

[FoRiZon]

Guess I can say i born in an unfortunate anything.

Okay.