Depression and Anxiety Thread

[W3H5]

I meant to reply to you when you posted in the Daily Rant thread, but I hope you are feeling a bit better now.

It's disconcerting when something 'different' or unexpected comes along, and its especially difficult when its something as serious as a mental health thing.

I'm sorry I didn't finish my post now, but I would emphasise that no reply or reaction doesn't necessarily mean that a post hasn't been read and digested - and it certainly doesn't mean that folks don't care, because they do.

-

On a related note, I've been having a bit of a reckoning with alcohol lately, and again last week I managed to overdo it quite badly. I'm very fortunate that it doesn't stop me from working, but I do need to do something about it beyond my (clearly insufficient) private attempts at cutting down or stopping.

It's very hard when something is so deeply ingrained as drinking is in my own life, and even last night was a great example of how difficult (socially and personally) it can be... a mate invited me for drinks and dinner but I made an excuse and bailed, even though I knew he is having relationship problems with his wife. I felt guilty about bailing so I changed my mind and joined him for a few drinks... it turns out that he's OK, but he is also quite lonely and he is having problems in his marriage.

A few drinks and a good chat made us both feel alot better, and I'm glad that I changed my mind and met him. But - it totally blew apart my plan to go home and stay sober... but there you go. At the very least, I didn't drink the bottle of wine I bought on the way home.

I’m back on track now, thanks.

The downer I was on was caused by alcohol. I’d slowly upped my consumption and was drinking week nights. I wasn’t getting drunk, just keeping busy with a beer or two. I guess over the last few weeks I’d accumulated a reserve in my system and the depressant effects of alcohol caught up with me in one fell swoop.

Booze interrupts my regular medications throwing me off a stable plane. As the thought of being sober terrifies me, I’m making an effort to keep the booze to minimal levels for when I’m off school.

A lot of my boozing was due to boredom. When my mother-in-law is staying, she takes all agency away from me with regards to parenting and associated chores, leaving me twiddling my thumbs and looking for beer to occupy my time.

Drinking (beer) is probably the most trivial yet destructive habit I have. I know that smoking will eventually kill me, but it’s never caused me a mental breakdown.

GTP AA, anyone? Lol

 

[ScottPuss20]

I don't usually post here but I've been suffering a lot of anxiety lately for various reasons. As some of you here know, I have muscular dystrophy - a chronic muscle condition which adversely affects my whole life. It's not easy but I was tracking rather well until quite recently. However, I need to go back a bit to explain how I've ended up here.

In October 2021 I completed my third year of uni, which was a Bachelor in Communication Design from RMIT. I was told that my qualifications would get me a job and I was confident that I'd get one in 2022. So 2022 starts and I get connected with a disability employment service, hopeful that they'd help me get a job. At this point I'm happy to be doing my own thing without the regimen of school or uni, and I wasn't too concerned about the job search. In April I went to the Australian GP on Saturday and Sunday, which was chaotic but a whole lot of fun.

Unfortunately, things took a turn after that. For some reason, I got some kind of bladder infection and was waking up in agony at like 2 in the morning. I was wetting myself and needed to pee, which was highly unusual for me. This took quite a while to treat and even when the pain had gone, I was still wetting myself and having to wee during the night. It was quite inconvenient and I was getting frustrated, along with my mum. However it wasn't just at night where I was having problems. it was during the day as well. This issue dragged on for a while as my job search became more and more frustrating. It was clear to me that I wouldn't get a job that easily, and I thought I was wasting my time by going in to the disability employment service. These two things annoyed the crap out of me, and my current routine was starting to become rather boring. I was getting sick and tired of it all.

Fortunately, the bladder issue was resolved and I spoke to a guy (A reverse marketer, whatever that means) at the employment service who cleared up a few things for me and gave me a bit of direction. I felt a bit better after that discussion but still no job, paid or unpaid. Another thing that angered me were my performances in Assetto Corsa Competizione, highlighting my physical shortcomings. Despite all this, I get to Christmas morning and feel quite happy. I go to my aunty's place (on my dad's side) to see the family and everything was good, but I ended up feeling completely pooped after lunch and a beer. I got back home feeling angry, tired and a bit sick.

A few days later I see some of my mum's relatives for lunch, then mum and my brother get gastro. My brother, who also has the same condition, ends up going to hospital with my mum. (He was treated and left a day later - he was fine) Then I get gastro. That's when the anxiety begins and I become a total wreck, both mentally and physically. I got really, really sick and I could feel my whole body shutting down. I thought my life was over. I was calling out in distress almost constantly and my whole family became ultra concerned. I also had several panic attacks. It was like a living hell and I could barely function as a result of the physical trauma caused by the gastro; an issue not helped by said anxiety. It got to the point where I just wanted to stay in my room all day. Fortunutely, I've passed that stage but I'm still a bit off. Yes, I have reached out for help and I've spoken to my psychologist during this period. But I tell you, this period has been soo tough for me.

 

[JohnBM01]

I haven't had too many mental hitches so far in 2023. Hopefully you all are doing well in this time of April Showers.


Don't let depression or anxiety win.

 

[Jezza819]

I'm long overdue for posting in this thread but I had something happen this past Wednesday that has never happened before. In 42 years of being in the workplace, until 2007 in a company that my family owned, and the last 16 years working for someone else, I've been written up with a warning for employee conduct and it's because of my temper.
I'm 57 years old now and I've had an explosive temper for as far back as I can remember. It's just off the charts and it doesn't take much to set me off. I've done more physical harm to myself through temper tantrums than through normal accidents. When something happens that causes me to explode I have to hit something, throw something, kick something, scream, stomp around, whatever it is there has to be some sort of physical response. I've had more bruised hands, jammed fingers, bruised elbows, sore feet than I can count. And I just can't control it. As much as I keep trying to tell myself when something happens, "calm down, don't do anything stupid", I just end up doing something stupid.
Back in the 80's and 90's when I played golf I usually had at least one broken club at the end of a round. There were many clubs that were thrown in a round also. So it also spills over to my private life and away from work. I've got dozens and dozens of incidents I could relate not work related. I've probably broken more than 20 video game controllers in my lifetime.
But there is also a part of me that justifies my actions in that at least I'm responding to an incident by showing I care and don't want the same thing to happen again. That response might appear over the top to just about everyone else. For the life of me I can't understand how some people can just sit there and when they make a mistake or something happens to them that shouldn't, they just take it all in stride like it's no big problem. "Oh well, that's the way it goes" sort of thing. NO IT'S NOT!!!!!! That's not the way it goes, get upset, get mad, do something, show you care. That's the other side of my mind that I'm fighting.
The incident on Wednesday relates to a procedure that they have been making me do for years now that is not part of my job. It is the responsibility of another department but management refuses to make them do it. There are four of them in that department and I'm the only one at my position. I've got 10 technicians to wait on, plus the four people in the department in question, plus a front counter, plus the phones. Now who is it that has much more time to do this procedure? It certainly isn't me. So this has been building up for quite some time now. I've been warning them "I'm telling you, one of these days you're going to give me one of these things to do at the wrong time and there's going to be trouble" and that's what happened on Wednesday. An employee comes walking to my counter with the form for that procedure and I just exploded into a yelling rant. This employee felt I was yelling at him, which I wasn't, and about an hour later my manager comes up to me with the employee warning form showing I had been written up.
What didn't help much is about 3 months ago the general manager was sitting in another manager's office when I walked by and called me in and asked my what help I needed at my position. So I thought great they are finally ready to address my issues so I rolled off about 5 or 6 things, this procedure was among them, that are not part of my job they are the responsibility of other people, and they just dismissed every single one of them. Basically didn't listen to anything I had said. So that really raised my intensity level that lead to this incident.
It probably doesn't help that I don't sleep much at all. I might sleep four or five total hours a night and that's broken up into a two hour or so nap right after dinner when I get so sleepy and then I go back to bed around 2am or so and the alarm goes off at 5:15am.
Now I know I need help with the temper issue but apparently the only possible help is through some sort of mood modifying drugs. But I'm afraid of the possible side effects that could come along with them. The insomnia could get worse, possible suicidal feelings could get worse as that has already crossed my mind more than once now I could be taking drugs that would enhance those feelings.
So I don't really know what to do but if I don't do something I could end up losing my job and at my age it's too late to start over somewhere else.

 

[W3H5]

So I don't really know what to do but if I don't do something I could end up losing my job and at my age it's too late to start over somewhere else.

Anger and rage are strong emotions to control.

You are aware that you choose to be angry and rage, to make a point of not being ok with whatever has pissed you off.

Choose your moments, assess the situation. Are you responsible for making yourself angry? Or is it the fault of others?

You mentioned you’re closing on 60. Life’s too short to waste time occupied with anger. It can be a plague on your mental state.

Don’t let those emotions live in your head rent free. It does more harm than good.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I'm long overdue for posting in this thread but I had something happen this past Wednesday that has never happened before. In 42 years of being in the workplace, until 2007 in a company that my family owned, and the last 16 years working for someone else, I've been written up with a warning for employee conduct and it's because of my temper.
I'm 57 years old now and I've had an explosive temper for as far back as I can remember. It's just off the charts and it doesn't take much to set me off. I've done more physical harm to myself through temper tantrums than through normal accidents. When something happens that causes me to explode I have to hit something, throw something, kick something, scream, stomp around, whatever it is there has to be some sort of physical response. I've had more bruised hands, jammed fingers, bruised elbows, sore feet than I can count. And I just can't control it. As much as I keep trying to tell myself when something happens, "calm down, don't do anything stupid", I just end up doing something stupid.
Back in the 80's and 90's when I played golf I usually had at least one broken club at the end of a round. There were many clubs that were thrown in a round also. So it also spills over to my private life and away from work. I've got dozens and dozens of incidents I could relate not work related. I've probably broken more than 20 video game controllers in my lifetime.
But there is also a part of me that justifies my actions in that at least I'm responding to an incident by showing I care and don't want the same thing to happen again. That response might appear over the top to just about everyone else. For the life of me I can't understand how some people can just sit there and when they make a mistake or something happens to them that shouldn't, they just take it all in stride like it's no big problem. "Oh well, that's the way it goes" sort of thing. NO IT'S NOT!!!!!! That's not the way it goes, get upset, get mad, do something, show you care. That's the other side of my mind that I'm fighting.
The incident on Wednesday relates to a procedure that they have been making me do for years now that is not part of my job. It is the responsibility of another department but management refuses to make them do it. There are four of them in that department and I'm the only one at my position. I've got 10 technicians to wait on, plus the four people in the department in question, plus a front counter, plus the phones. Now who is it that has much more time to do this procedure? It certainly isn't me. So this has been building up for quite some time now. I've been warning them "I'm telling you, one of these days you're going to give me one of these things to do at the wrong time and there's going to be trouble" and that's what happened on Wednesday. An employee comes walking to my counter with the form for that procedure and I just exploded into a yelling rant. This employee felt I was yelling at him, which I wasn't, and about an hour later my manager comes up to me with the employee warning form showing I had been written up.
What didn't help much is about 3 months ago the general manager was sitting in another manager's office when I walked by and called me in and asked my what help I needed at my position. So I thought great they are finally ready to address my issues so I rolled off about 5 or 6 things, this procedure was among them, that are not part of my job they are the responsibility of other people, and they just dismissed every single one of them. Basically didn't listen to anything I had said. So that really raised my intensity level that lead to this incident.
It probably doesn't help that I don't sleep much at all. I might sleep four or five total hours a night and that's broken up into a two hour or so nap right after dinner when I get so sleepy and then I go back to bed around 2am or so and the alarm goes off at 5:15am.
Now I know I need help with the temper issue but apparently the only possible help is through some sort of mood modifying drugs. But I'm afraid of the possible side effects that could come along with them. The insomnia could get worse, possible suicidal feelings could get worse as that has already crossed my mind more than once now I could be taking drugs that would enhance those feelings.
So I don't really know what to do but if I don't do something I could end up losing my job and at my age it's too late to start over somewhere else.

Have you been formally diagnosed with anything with regards to these outbursts?

Could it possibly be intermittent explosive disorder?

 

[Jezza819]

Have you been formally diagnosed with anything with regards to these outbursts?

Could it possibly be intermittent explosive disorder?

No but it goes back as far as I can remember.

 

[HenrySwanson]

No but it goes back as far as I can remember.

I see you mentioned medication - was that your own research or has it been suggested?

Have you tried cbt?

 

[Jezza819]

I see you mentioned medication - was that your own research or has it been suggested?

Have you tried cbt?

That's just what I figured had to happen. Don't they have to put you on some sort of mood stabilizers?

What's cbt?

 

[HenrySwanson]

That's just what I figured had to happen. Don't they have to put you on some sort of mood stabilizers?

What's cbt?

Cognitive behavioural therapy - a type of talking therapy. I'd suggest seeing a GP to maybe get a referral, or if you can afford it a private psychologist.

Being prescribed medication would depend on what you're diagnosed with.

 

[Jezza819]

Cognitive behavioural therapy - a type of talking therapy. I'd suggest seeing a GP to maybe get a referral, or if you can afford it a private psychologist.

Being prescribed medication would depend on what you're diagnosed with.

Yeah I don't have the time or money for therapy.

 

[Daniel]

Have you been formally diagnosed with anything with regards to these outbursts?

Could it possibly be intermittent explosive disorder?

I see you mentioned medication - was that your own research or has it been suggested?

Have you tried cbt?

That's just what I figured had to happen. Don't they have to put you on some sort of mood stabilizers?

What's cbt?

Cognitive behavioural therapy - a type of talking therapy. I'd suggest seeing a GP to maybe get a referral, or if you can afford it a private psychologist.

Being prescribed medication would depend on what you're diagnosed with.

Yeah I don't have the time or money for therapy.

@Jezza819, does your workplace have an EAP (employment assistance program) in place? Or could they assist with paying or finding a professional therapist, counselor or coach that can assist with your outbursts?

If you have the ability to save up for a psychologist (CBT) or psychiatrist (medication), it could be life-changing.

I'm obviously not qualified in any capacity but I can say from my own personal experience (with ADHD, not with depression, anxiety or IED), a diagnosis was incredibly validating and (importantly) allows me to start understanding what I have and learning how I can deal with it.

Intermittent Explosive Disorder - Mayo Clinic


Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation. Road rage, domestic abuse, throwing or breaking objects, or other temper tantrums may be signs of intermittent explosive disorder.


These intermittent, explosive outbursts cause you significant distress, negatively impact your relationships, work and school, and they can have legal and financial consequences.

Intermittent explosive disorder is a chronic disorder that can continue for years, although the severity of outbursts may decrease with age. Treatment involves medications and psychotherapy to help you control your aggressive impulses.

 

[Jezza819]

@Jezza819, does your workplace have an EAP (employment assistance program) in place? Or could they assist with paying or finding a professional therapist, counselor or coach that can assist with your outbursts?

If you have the ability to save up for a psychologist (CBT) or psychiatrist (medication), it could be life-changing.

I'm pretty sure we don't have anything like that. I certainly wouldn't go to management looking for help anyway. We are in a right to work state so I don't have any protection from being terminated if I approach them looking for help. I really think our general manager is itching to get rid of me once I got to my compensation level. He's done it with other employees. So I don't want to give him any ammunition towards that goal. He's much older than I am and I've always said I'm determined to outlast him.

 

[JohnBM01]

I have been doing rather okay lately in 2023. I hope you all are able to enjoy some happy times and some calm times. If you have depression and/or anxiety, hopefully you get to remedy your situation(s).


Don't let depression or anxiety win.

 

[evldave333]

This is really interesting, and I can attest very effective in micro doses. I cannot advocate this for everyone, but hopefully this will be a legally available therapy soon. Its been transformative for me in the treatment of anxiety and depression linked to ASD, its changed my life. No matter how bad things get keep going on the promise that tomorrow can be different all mental states are transient, there is hope always. I came really close to giving up last year it was suffocating. Sadly psylocibin does not treat ASD symptoms directly, but having the anxiety and associated depression lifted is like taking lead boots off.

 

[JohnBM01]

Earlier in this thread, I remembered reading something like cold showers to treat depression. Now seeing this thing about mushrooms, I REALLY can't do that. I've had a love-hate relationship with mushrooms. So if it came down to something like this to help out depression, I'll pass. No, thanks.

 

[evldave333]

Earlier in this thread, I remembered reading something like cold showers to treat depression. Now seeing this thing about mushrooms, I REALLY can't do that. I've had a love-hate relationship with mushrooms. So if it came down to something like this to help out depression, I'll pass. No, thanks.

That's understandable high doses can be dodgy micro dosing less 0.5g is different no highs or visual distortions. People who have problems usually take over 5grams known as a heroic dose which is reckless. The bio-chemistry of this is sound Ive done a deep dive and the sooner its available as a regulated / controlled dose therapy the better. I hope you overcome your issues there are many ways to do it, being in nature helps me the most, as well as eating organic whole foods and exercising daily. Apparently many issues of depression are chemistry related due to bad diet creating a gut biome that releases damaging compounds into the nervous system, a change of diet might be the least risky choice.

 

[Touring Mars]

I got caught out a bit yesterday... I was invited to a drinks reception/event at work, and grabbed a beer before the speeches started. Somehow, I found myself right at the front of the crowd, standing right next to the Principal of the University...

I suffer from a weird (and very annoying) form of social anxiety where I start to feel completely 'ungrounded' - like I'm going to fall over and/or drop what I'm holding. It doesn't help that I suffer from an inner ear issue that makes me feel dizzy, but when I'm in a social situation, I literally feel like I need to hold on to something, my head starts swimming and my hands feel like jelly. Yesterday I ended up clutching my beer with both hands, pressed hard into my body, and feeling like I'm literally about to fall over, but fortunately the speech ended and I was able to make my escape, put my beer down and retreat to the back of the crowd.

It's frustrating as it can ruin what should be otherwise pleasant events, but I haven't been caught out like that so badly for some time...

 

[evldave333]

I got caught out a bit yesterday... I was invited to a drinks reception/event at work, and grabbed a beer before the speeches started. Somehow, I found myself right at the front of the crowd, standing right next to the Principal of the University...

I suffer from a weird (and very annoying) form of social anxiety where I start to feel completely 'ungrounded' - like I'm going to fall over and/or drop what I'm holding. It doesn't help that I suffer from an inner ear issue that makes me feel dizzy, but when I'm in a social situation, I literally feel like I need to hold on to something, my head starts swimming and my hands feel like jelly. Yesterday I ended up clutching my beer with both hands, pressed hard into my body, and feeling like I'm literally about to fall over, but fortunately the speech ended and I was able to make my escape, put my beer down and retreat to the back of the crowd.

It's frustrating as it can ruin what should be otherwise pleasant events, but I haven't been caught out like that so badly for some time...

I understand how you feel, its important to recognise your triggers to try and mitigate these things, Its really positive you are out socialising despite this though. I can empathise as this frequently happens to me in busy places, I had to exit the shop I was in recently really sharpish, im lucky I dont have the vertigo type sensations, that sounds difficult to contend with. What Ive spent a long time wondering is if these feelings are learned / pre-disposition or a mix of both.

 

[MatskiMonk]

I suffer from a weird (and very annoying) form of social anxiety where I start to feel completely 'ungrounded' - like I'm going to fall over and/or drop what I'm holding. It doesn't help that I suffer from an inner ear issue that makes me feel dizzy, but when I'm in a social situation, I literally feel like I need to hold on to something, my head starts swimming and my hands feel like jelly. Yesterday I ended up clutching my beer with both hands, pressed hard into my body, and feeling like I'm literally about to fall over, but fortunately the speech ended and I was able to make my escape, put my beer down and retreat to the back of the crowd.

Sounds quite a lot like low blood pressure, the effects of which are worsened by the realities of social circumstances - i.e. standing up a lot, probably with alcohol, and possibly accompanied by foods that are carb heavy, in maybe a warmer than normal environment. Depends how bad it gets, but a bit like how a panic attack creates a feedback loop, I'd suggest you've just got to extract yourself for a few minutes as soon as you notice a problem to stop it escalating, go and sit down, preferably outside, and just focus on steady breathing for a minute or so, do some butt-clenches (apparently for circulation), then don't dwell on it, go back in a don't give it another thought.

 

[Touring Mars]

Sounds quite a lot like low blood pressure, the effects of which are worsened by the realities of social circumstances - i.e. standing up a lot, probably with alcohol, and possibly accompanied by foods that are carb heavy, in maybe a warmer than normal environment. Depends how bad it gets, but a bit like how a panic attack creates a feedback loop, I'd suggest you've just got to extract yourself for a few minutes as soon as you notice a problem to stop it escalating, go and sit down, preferably outside, and just focus on steady breathing for a minute or so, do some butt-clenches (apparently for circulation), then don't dwell on it, go back in a don't give it another thought.

Yeh, getting out of there for a few minutes did the trick and I was able to return and speak to people - the problem initially was that I was stuck, i.e. we were listening to the 'boss' giving a speech/presentation for an indeterminate length of time.

The fact that I was experiencing dizziness earlier in the day, however, is quite possibly not unconnected. I'll certainly know for next time to avoid potential situations like that when I've not been feeling great earlier.

 

[MatskiMonk]

Yeh, getting out of there for a few minutes did the trick and I was able to return and speak to people - the problem initially was that I was stuck, i.e. we were listening to the 'boss' giving a speech/presentation for an indeterminate length of time.

Again, I'm only basing this on my experience with panic attacks triggered by very diverse events (and I'm not saying it's necessarily what you're getting), but simply being mindful of your breathing while you're socialising, as well as staying properly hydrated through the day beforehand, and keeping the high carb/'heavy' snacks to a minimum might help avoid the sensation that the proper functioning of your body is getting away from you.

The fact that I was experiencing dizziness earlier in the day, however, is quite possibly not unconnected. I'll certainly know for next time to avoid potential situations like that when I've not been feeling great earlier.

Although your inner ear problem can cause dizziness, it doesn't mean if you're dizzy it's because of that - it's maybe possible it's masking some hypotension... again I might be making five from two lots of two here.

 

[HenrySwanson]

I think it may be an idea to go to the GP, and perhaps buy a BP machine so you can check it at home.

While it could be hypotension, it could possibly be the effects of adrenaline release, which can make you feel faint, have racing thoughts (adrenaline directs cerebral blood flow to the more "primitive" areas of the brain) and tremors in your muscles.

As you believe it to be social anxiety, there are drugs that are indicated for the condition and psychological interventions (again, the GP would know) that may be beneficial.

 

[MatskiMonk]

While it could be hypotension, it could possibly be the effects of adrenaline release, which can make you feel faint, have racing thoughts (adrenaline directs cerebral blood flow to the more "primitive" areas of the brain) and tremors in your muscles.

Personally when I've found adrenaline release to be a problem, the primary symptom has been uncontrollable shaking (shivering), none of the other effects were a problem, and this was never part of a negative anxiety experience, it was almost exclusively the way my body dealt with being happy - like the flight reflex (run from situation) triggered panic attacks, the fight reflex (interact with situation) was adrenaline spikes. It could be analogous to social anxiety perhaps, but it didn't come with any of the dizziness, brain fog, weakness or (most importantly) fear.

 

[W3H5]

Carb loading knocks me out. If I have an ice cream after my meal especially.

My blood pressure drops as soon as I sit at the desk and stop moving. Then my brain cuts out for a bit.

Thankfully I’m able to either walk it off, or pass out for a bit if my classroom is empty.

I didn’t realise there was a link to anxiety/depression. It’s certainly only consumption that does it to me.

 

[Touring Mars]

I've had a very nice but annoyingly stress-inducing afternoon meeting my old boss, and we are going for dinner in just over an hour from now... and the dizziness that I got last week at the work event is back with a vengeance.

My head is swimming and my legs feel like jelly...

Anxiety/stress is clearly the issue, but it's surprising that it is happening even in as friendly a 'work' atmosphere as it is almost possible to get... I just hope it doesn't wreck a unique and special evening.

-

I must admit, it is so bad that I am opting to the last resort - a couple of swift alcoholic drinks - 'Hard Seltzer', disguised as mineral water... it's pathetic but it's the only non-prescribed medication that might (almost always) works. It's so annoying because I have gone the last couple of nights with no alcohol at all to prepare for today, and I felt great this morning, and generally fine all afternoon until now when the 'social anxiety' attacks and I'm now so dizzy I can hardly stand up... I really shouldn't need to use alcohol like this.

On a more positive note, here's a pic from an hour ago...

This pic was taken in another old boss's lab, and the photo on the left is Lord Kelvin (who worked and lived at University of Glasgow), and who defined the term 'chirality', meaning right and left handedness of molecules... my old boss has basically redefined chirality in more formal theoretical terms, and his work on homochirality of biological molecules, the origins of molecular chirality in the cosmos, and spectroscopic techniques involving chiral light are, quite frankly, mindblowing (maybe that's why my head is spinning!)... put it this way, it's not every talk you hear that involves Salvador Dali, dark matter, time reversal, supernovae and blowing up the Vatican. I'm also glad to say that he name-checked me as well I consider myself beyond fortunate to even know Laurence, let alone to have worked with him and to still be in touch.

-

I reckon my stress today was not helped by my current boss chewing me out this morning for... wait for it... using "..." in a work email... no, really.

Apparently someone senior in Finance made a complaint about me using 'ellipsis' in my emails, because (apparently) "it can be misconstrued"... seriously, WTAF? As many GTPers will know, I routinely use ... in my digital text all the time, and I've never had a complaint about it before. I'm really, really angry about it, but it is not worth causing a big stink over it, but seriously...

They are lucky that I always use exactly three dots in my ellipses, because otherwise I'd tell the lot of them to go .... themselves.

 

[Jezza819]

A little update on my situation. I had a regular doctor's appointment the last week in May and I told him what had happened at work and how I've now been reported. He did mention therapy and I told him why I couldn't do that and then he brought up anti-depressants. I didn't feel like I had any option so I agreed to try it. He told me the possible side effects, weight gain, etc. He said if I have a problem with it it should show up within the first week and I can stop it.

When I went to pick up the prescription (Fluoxetine generic Prozac)I asked the pharmacist what to expect and she asked me if I had ever taken this kind of drug and I said no. She also mentioned possible weight gain but also she said it makes some people sleep but causes insomnia in others. She also mentioned nervousness, nausea and some other things. She also said if something shows up to stop in the first week. She said to take one when I got home that night and try to take it the same time each day like with dinner.

So I got home and took the first one. Sure enough about 4 hours later the nausea hit. That was all for the first one. In the US we had a three day weekend for Memorial Day. I got it filled on that Friday. Saturday I was still nauseous. But Sunday other things started showing up. My head felt very full. Almost like when you have a head cold. But I really had trouble with sleeping. Normally I only sleep about maybe 4 hours a night with some waking up in there. But on this pill each time I tried to close my eyes, the scenes inside my head would start spinning and only get faster until I had to open my eyes to make it stop. I would also see things like multi colored ropes or strings spinning around and twisting together. I would not call it hallucinating because they would go away when I opened my eyes. But it dropped my sleeping time down to about an hour and a half.

On the following Saturday morning, 1 week after I started it, I noticed my belly was noticeably bigger. I'm only around 152lbs as it is so I notice any extra weight on me immediately. This was the final straw. Some of the other things I might could work through but I am not going to deal with weight gain due to a pill. So I quit.

About 2 days after stopping the nausea went away. The spinning and problems with closing my eyes stopped about 3 or 4 days and I got back on a more normal sleep pattern. The extra weight took almost 2 weeks to get rid of.

The pharmacist mentioned that some people have to try many different anti-depressants until they find the right one. I had an ex-girlfriend that had to try multiple ones but she was diagnosed as being bi-polar and she had anxiety attacks. But for me I think I'm done with the drug route. I'll just deal with it and try to manage it the best I can.

 

[lbpomg95]

A little update on my situation.

My partner used to be on anti-depressants. Sertraline from memory, but she told me about when she first took them. At first the dosage was small, and did nothing. After a few weeks, they upped the dosage. Still nothing. They then upped it to what I think was 150mg. The first day they kicked in, she was genuinely scared for her life. They gave her borderline suicidal thoughts. Scary stuff.

Once the dust settled, they did start to work, but only because they made her feel nothing. She didn't feel as depressed, but she never felt happy either. It allowed her to do things her anxiety may have stopped her from doing before, but she never got joy from anything, and she could still get sad depending on the situation. Frankly I'm not sure anti-depressants (this one at least) are the answer in many cases.

[employment woes]

Are you in a position to change job? If you're being bollocked for punctuation preferences, it sounds like a nasty work environment. At the least it sounds like a pretty high-pressure workplace which probably doesn't help your ailments. I got to a point where I said .... it. I left and became self-employed. I don't love my work but it's by far the best job I've had, compared with working for others. I find people in the position to employ others are usually bad people. Working a job that negatively affects you is never worth the money.

 

[Touring Mars]

Are you in a position to change job?

Yes, though I'm not at that stage just yet - though there have been several straws (unnecessarily) added to the camel's back of late.

I'm still very dizzy this morning, so I reckon it is maybe not related to the stress of yesterday. Fortunately everything went really well last night (albeit with the help of a couple of drinks first), but I reckon I will make an appointment with my GP to discuss both things, as I figure that while the dizziness is probably a separate thing, anxiety is probably playing some role either as a trigger or in making it worse.

 

[sirjim73]

Yes, though I'm not at that stage just yet - though there have been several straws (unnecessarily) added to the camel's back of late.

I'm still very dizzy this morning, so I reckon it is maybe not related to the stress of yesterday. Fortunately everything went really well last night (albeit with the help of a couple of drinks first), but I reckon I will make an appointment with my GP to discuss both things, as I figure that while the dizziness is probably a separate thing, anxiety is probably playing some role either as a trigger or in making it worse.

Anxiety and its effects can "linger", just because it was yesterday when you were stressed, does not necessarily mean that your issues today are not related. From my experience the related chest pains were very short term when they occurred, but the general feeling of anxiety and effect on my system lasted after the cause of my anxiety had passed.
It does seem like a sensible thing to speak to your GP, if only to put your mind at rest having done so.

@Jezza819 I hope you find a solution that works for you. And please do tell your doctor about your negative reactions to the medication. Even if you decide not to try any other medication, keeping them informed can surely do no harm.