Funny/Strange News Stories

[JKgo]

Britain's new £5 note is indestructible, we're told.

What does Britain's mad scientist community think of that? "Challenge accepted", of course.

...I thought men of science were more logical than that - the dude's a lot poorer now!! Not logical!!

Also, wasn't deliberately destroying government issued documents illegal? Bank notes should fall under that definition, so uh, did the good doctor just get himself a one-way ticket to paid-for vacation time?!

 

[BobK]

Well, the good professor does claim and the cited article agrees:

Still, as he is keen to point out: while it is illegal to deface the bank note, you aren't breaking any laws by destroying it.

I have no idea if that's actually the case or not.

 

[TenEightyOne]

I have no idea if that's actually the case or not.

They'll generally replace a damaged note for you if you have all the pieces although the article points out the the good professor "mislaid" a piece so that isn't possible in this case.

The legality:

It is not illegal to deliberately destroy a banknote. However, under the Currency and Banknotes Act 1928, it is an offence to deface a banknote by printing, stamping or writing on it. The Coinage Act 1971 also makes it an offence to destroy a metal coin that has been current in the UK since 1969, unless a licence to do so has been granted by the Treasury.

 

[JKgo]

...Oh, didn't know that. Hmm.

A quick reminisce of the past: almost a decade and a half ago, asked a girl for her numbers - this was well before the proliferation of smart mobile devices - but had nowhere to jot it down. Guess what came in handy?

A bank note.

So, uh, what's the statute of limitation on defacing bank notes again?

 

[polysmut]

...Oh, didn't know that. Hmm.

A quick reminisce of the past: almost a decade and a half ago, asked a girl for her numbers - this was well before the proliferation of smart mobile devices - but had nowhere to jot it down. Guess what came in handy?

A bank note.

So, uh, what's the statute of limitation on defacing bank notes again?

The law discussed above refers to UK banknotes & the statute of limitation is a US thing, no? It sounds like it depends which banknote was defaced & where it happened?

As a guess, if it was the girl who did the scribing & not you then you'd be in the clear either way?

 

[JKgo]

The law discussed above refers to UK banknotes & the statute of limitation is a US thing, no? It sounds like it depends which banknote was defaced & where it happened?

As a guess, if it was the girl who did the scribing & not you then you'd be in the clear either way?

...Not sure about the exact terms, but I'm guessing there's defo a Brit equivalent for this statute what-have-yous. As for me in the clear.... hmm, wouldn't I be seen as an accomplice in the commission of a crime? Whatever the case may be, it should be fine. I mean, considering the time frame...

 

[TenEightyOne]

...Not sure about the exact terms, but I'm guessing there's defo a Brit equivalent for this statute what-have-yous. As for me in the clear.... hmm, wouldn't I be seen as an accomplice in the commission of a crime? Whatever the case may be, it should be fine. I mean, considering the time frame...

Limitation depends on which country you were in when you committed any given crime... although in the case of a banknote being defaced I'm not sure that applies anyway. The Limitations Act doesn't cover this type of heinous, terrible crime. Terrible crime.

I'm not sure that an accessory has ever been prosecuted for a single banknote (they probably have in the case of large-scale fraud), or that an individual defacer of an individual note has. There's no onus on you to report this crime, or on any of us in fact

 

[TenEightyOne]

A funny "breaking news" line rather than a funny story:

 

[Famine]

Before we start, this news story ISN'T FUNNY. It just isn't.

I mean, the title is "Second Doctor Arrested in US Female Genital Mutilation Case" and it deals with minors. So NOT FUNNY.

What is funny is when World News Network allows automated keyword selection of its header images, with no-one looking at the result...

Edit:

Spoiler: As it's now been changed

 

[Pezzarinho17]

The image has changed now, but the comments allude to what was there...

 

[Famine]

The image has changed now, but the comments allude to what was there...

Edited into Spoiler tags - take your best guess first

 

[TenEightyOne]

FaceApp knows how to make you hot. But you need to be white, obvs.

 

[prisonermonkeys]

Nothing says "respect for our fallen soldiers" like holding a wet t-shirt competition.

 

[Dennisch]

Saudi Arabia elected to UN women's rights commission

Bravo.

 

[JKgo]

....A crematorium in Ohio is set on fire, by an obese and very dead person: explained as a "grease fire."

BBC.

Apparently, it's not the first time this happened. One more reason to stay healthy, then....

 

[Northstar]

One more reason to stay healthy, then....

I view it as the opposite, I love the thought of my lifeless corpse somehow causing havoc from beyond the grave!

 

[TB]

I view it as the opposite, I love the thought of my lifeless corpse somehow causing havoc from beyond the grave!

I want to be made into soap.

 

[TRGTspecialist]

I want to be made into soap.

Just don't get yourself all worked up into a lather over it......

 

[Obelisk]

Just don't get yourself all worked up into a lather over it......

You ought to have your mouth washed.

 

[TB]

You ought to have your mouth washed.

With me.

Wait...

 

[PeterJB]

That's one way to burn fat...

 

[axletramp]

Death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal...

 

[Chrunch Houston]

Death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal...

What a dumb ass. Yes he proved his point to no one. What a waste.

I would have had chicken fried steak and eggs, with gravy, hash browns, bacon, and a toasted English muffin.

 

[W3H5]

I would have had chicken fried steak and eggs, with gravy, hash browns, bacon, and a toasted English muffin.

I'd have an arsenic laced ice cream.

 

[polysmut]

I'd have an arsenic laced ice cream.

Better than a cream laced... Nevermind.

 

[Obelisk]

Death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal...

That dude looks like a Doom boss.

 

[W3H5]

Better than a cream laced... Nevermind.

?

 

[polysmut]

View attachment 643930

?

That's one of the types of cream you might have on the nick near your lower back.

 

[BobK]

Death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal...

Doesn't he know that eating paper like that is bad for your health?

...or maybe by now it's didn't he know,

 

[UKMikey]

Death row inmate eats an entire Bible as his last meal...

http://www.thatsnonsense.com/claims-death-row-inmate-ate-bible-last-meal-fake/

The photos are of convicted Missouri sex offender Michael Campbell in 1988 and outgoing Oklahoma director of corrections Robert Patton, not "Jeremy Morris" and "Frank Davis".