Living dangerous. You're like a badass or something.
I am the badassest of all the badassest badasses.
Look what I did - I cruised all the stations on my break - and I . . . am . . . . here, still here tough as nails and unwhammed. Clean as a whistle.
On my break I went off to the food station at work where there is a little portable boombox that is usually off. We stared at each, snarling for awhile; or rather I snarled; it just looked at me gnarliry.
Power on. Shocked into life - some guy talking to himself.
Tuner button - press till next station. French.
A-ha. Yes. Must check for whamming. A minute or so of determined listening. No whamsterring in any way. Just some falala romantic French stuff. Good. Moving on.
Next blip.
A-ha. A vietnamese station. Or Chinese. Mandarin - some language that sounds like that. Check for a minute or two there - lots of excited speech and then some triumphant music. Probably an excited Wang in there but no sound of whamming.
Next station - hah! Tamil. Never know with these Tamils. Could be advertising some Kollywood film with whamming in it. Doubtful but still possible - maybe they want to keep up.
I listen for awhile but they are in an uproar about something - a bunch of announcers talking over each other. They were too busy to wham, no one in their right minds would wham while screaming like this. I scrammed.
Bip, bip - next station. Rock. I know that station; the only Christmas songs they play are the ones about 12 days of beer and the other song where Santa killed grandma. These guys were no whammers
Meanwhile I'm snacking as fast and furiously as I can and the clock is ticking. Can't avoid my mission. Next station. Polka music. Crumbs choke my throat; I can't breathe.
Doesn't sound like whamming - is it a Christmas track? Turns out is isn't. Sounds German or Polish or something close. Another ethnic station. Moving on. Next, another French station. Again a determined and courageous listen to check for whamming. Nothing.
Then another station with some language that could have been Martian for all I knew. Still - gotta check. I bravely check this out for awhile. They only spoke and laughed. They were nice people. I wondered if they were really Martians - people couldn't be this nice - not in public. A few minutes left on my break - I'm victorious and pumped up - ha! No whamming here.
Next station - jazz. They were fund-raising to keep the station alive. Next station was someone chanting in what could only be Arabic. Listened closely to that to see whether any whamming was being encouraged; didn't sound like it. In fact the guy sounded kind of sad - like he had just discovered whamming and was instantly forbidden it. Out of there and the next station. . . .
Indian? Akkadian? Hittite? Spanish? Mexicano? Sanskrit?
Whatever it was - it was mesmerising, very poetic, two people having some big agreeable heart-to-heart about something like quantum mechanics or trying to get a date with each other. Listened to that for awhile but if there was whamming going on there it was being done rather stealthily because there wasn't the usual sound.
Break time over I went out of there like I was the badassest badass of all the badassest badasses ever.
Next time I'm going to try some Canadian English stations - they're mostly at the top of the band.
That would be totally more badass.
