The Autism Thread

[Bodyguard]

Just because he's Autistic, he's being bullied?


Woah, that's not even fair. It's not a choice. It's not a decision. It's not a disease.


... I just can't believe anyone would bully another person for that.

Exactly, I couldn't have put it better myself. About a tenth of our year group is like that and it annoys me beyond belief.

I heard that autism gives you more of a mathematically ability and can naturally draw well.

Interesting...

I've always been a top student, among the top 3 in every school I've been to (which is a lot). My best and favourite subjects are Maths, Physics and Computing. I'm a bit of an introvert, meaning that I prefer the indoors to the outdoors, but I've got plenty of friends. I've always wondered whether I'm Autistic...
Is there any way to find out besides getting checked?

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Insecurity.


Because they're all insecure about their own symptoms and so forth, they actually are looking for a scapegoat, or trying to prove that their own disabilities are less "bad."
They belittle others because they're uncomfortable with their own "disabilities."


If they all had more support and self-confidence, they'd stop insulting others. I've proven it, in my own school, and tried to support the good behaviour in bullies, and actually asked them why they're bullying. Normally, they snap right out of it, and say that they didn't even realize...

 

[adam46]

Insecurity.


Because they're all insecure about their own symptoms and so forth, they actually are looking for a scapegoat, or trying to prove that their own disabilities are less "bad."
They belittle others because they're uncomfortable with their own "disabilities."


If they all had more support and self-confidence, they'd stop insulting others. I've proven it, in my own school, and tried to support the good behaviour in bullies, and actually asked them why they're bullying. Normally, they snap right out of it, and say that they didn't even realize...

Yeah I guess that makes sense. I've tried doing what you've done in the past and they just turn on me instead, so I've sort of given up trying. I'll cheer someone up if needs be, but nine times out of ten they turn around and bite back at the person anyway

 

[Com Fox]

I'm really good at drawing and maths too .

Also, in my school I got the people who pick on other people being nice to me, don't know why .

I would be a bit mad if it was because of my autism, mine isn't big . Though it could be my not caring attitude towards stuff (like, what they do) (they tend to pick on people solely for revenge).

Would you guys know why?

 

[Azuremen]

Just because he's Autistic, he's being bullied?

Woah, that's not even fair. It's not a choice. It's not a decision. It's not a disease.

... I just can't believe anyone would bully another person for that.

First, not this again. Autism is a disorder plain and simple. Aspeger's is arguably a difference because you can easily function in society with some practice, but Autism tends to intrude far more heavily into daily routines and learning.

Second, you can't be that naive to think people wouldn't bully someone for being different. Christ, people have started whole wars and committed genocide over being different, let alone bullying.

School bullies do what they do because they get a response. It is a power play to make someone feel inferior, and so if you don't react they will often get bored or feel defeated.

 

[Com Fox]

Just like internet trolls .

 

[Azuremen]

Just like internet trolls .

Oh, implication, how clever

If you honestly think I'm in here to troll, rather than to correct misinformation (which there is a lot of in this thread) or offer input based on my own experiences, then I don't think you're actually reading what I write.

Which is fine, as I can understand enjoying the bubble you reside in.

 

[Com Fox]

No, no, no, no.

You are not a troll, I was saying it works for actual trolls too .

 

[Azuremen]

No, no, no, no.

You are not a troll, I was saying it works for actual trolls too .

Oh, my bad there. Sorry.

It does work on typical trolls. They either get so worked up they find themselves banned, or just give up entirely. Sometimes you do get members that act trollish and don't quite realize it though, so they just continue to post nonsense. Those are the tricky ones.

 

[Furinkazen]

If ya getting bullied, ignore it. They want attention and to cover up there own insecurities. Having Aspergers shouldn't really relate to special treatment for bullies. Also I will clarify perhaps a couple of my posts I made earlier were slightly mixed between Autism as a whole and Aspergers, so I see where Azure is coming from slightly more.

 

[Wolfe]

The ignore tactic never worked in my experience. Unless you can actually walk away from the situation, it's just another gratifying, exploitable response. My $0.02.

 

[Furinkazen]

The ignore tactic never worked in my experience. Unless you can actually walk away from the situation, it's just another gratifying, exploitable response. My $0.02.

But in that case what is a non-exploitable response?

 

[Com Fox]

I find the "telling the teacher" tactic the worst, it never works .

 

[Dan]

I find the "telling the teacher" tactic the worst, it never works .

Tell the police. That'll scare the s*** out of them. I've never had to resort to this, thankfully.

 

[Com Fox]

Not me, my friends have tried it.

 

[Bodyguard]

But in that case what is a non-exploitable response?

Fighting them.

I am currently living in London and attending a public school, my first public school actually (by "public", I mean free, as opposed to private schools which require a yearly payment). In my previous school (private) in Dubai, I was bullied. I didn't have many friends and I was often picked on, sometimes even physically. It was never too bad though, because I was part of the school's rugby team.

In my new school in London, though, I decided to stand up to :censored:holes, I always said I would fight if the opportunity was right. In my first month in the school (this was 2 years ago), I got into 2 or so fights a week, however I never started any of these fights, I simply responded to save my dignity. Once they see that you are willing to fight, more people will want to fight you. After that whole phase is over, though, you will be left alone and even respected by the bullies and other students. In this school, I have more friends than all my friends in my other schools combined, so this is a great way to boost your self-confidence and status in school, too.

I know it is hard to start fighting the guy that has been bullying you for years, but trust me and do it. If you lose, your parents can call the school and punish the bully, so you win either way. It was quite easy for me, since I matured and grew faster than almost everyone else in my year group, so I was quite big, but even if you're just bone and skin, you need to do this. Worst case scenario? You get beaten up, your parents don't phone the school, so the bully doesn't get punished. But, you still get respect from the bullies and other students, so the bullies don't bother you as much and some other students will stand up for you if the bullies do decide to come back and pick on you. This will also work on all bullying situations, not just Autism related ones.

I'm sorry for the long post, but I hope this has helped someone. I don't know how many people on GTP or even this thread are being bullied like I was, but I really hope that they see this post and just try doing what I did.

Cheers, Nilo.

 

[Wolfe]

But in that case what is a non-exploitable response?

Never found one apart from making myself scarce. Ignoring just led to physical abuse when they could get away with it. I don't have any solution to share (and I'm not autistic, BTW); I'm just not a fan of the "ignore them" advice.

 

[Furinkazen]

I was harassed by an (ex) friend of mine for a year or so, I never realised it at the time. They just pressured me and got me to go along with things, until I slowly realised I was being used as there tool. So I decided to tell them what I thought of it, he didn't like losing the control he though he had and so he went mad, and tried going for me and ended up getting thrown out of his College for attempting to assault me in my classroom.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

One time I was pushed off of the skateboard I was riding at school.


I got up so angry, I grabbed the guy who had pushed me, and threw him down and started beating the, erm, bodily fluids 💡 out of him. I was not really bothered my him after that, but I definitely lost most privileges for quite a number of weeks. Staring at microwaves is not fun.

 

[Bodyguard]

One time I was pushed off of the skateboard I was riding at school.


I got up so angry, I grabbed the guy who had pushed me, and threw him down and started beating the, erm, bodily fluids 💡 out of him. I was not really bothered my him after that, but I definitely lost most privileges for quite a number of weeks. Staring at microwaves is not fun.

Good, the 🤬 got what he deserved. What did he expect would happen after he attacked somebody?

Once, a bunch of friends and I were walking to our next class. We had just come out of Science, meaning that we had to squeeze through the tiny hallway to get out of the Science block. So, we were walking single file, so as to let people going the opposite way have some room to walk.
In front of me, I see this muscular black guy, same height as me, pushing every single person ahead of me (single file, remember) towards the wall. This guy is pushing my friends and I'm supposed to just let it happen? I was about to grab him by the arm and tell him exactly what I thought of him, when I see him try and push me the same way. He doesn't get a chance to even touch me. Before he knows it, he's bouncing off the wall into the person behind me. I then proceed to walk to my next lesson with my friends as before; he has learnt his lesson.
No he hasn't. I walk for about 30 seconds and then find myself getting pushed from behind. I immediately turn around and just scare the living 🤬 out of him; I could see him slowly backing away. I was never going to punch him, I just had no time for that and it seemed like he had learnt his lesson now, since he was cowering. A few of his friends push him towards me (great "friends", huh?) and he awkwardly stands near me, unwilling to back away or fight. I already mentioned that I wasn't going to attack him, so for about 5 seconds we stand there. I then try and tell him to generally be careful next time, but that's when a teacher comes and separates us. I consider that a victory. Not because I looked stronger or anything like that, simply because a bully was turned into a nicer person (hopefully).

Again, sorry for the long post. Quick question, I have plenty of stories such as these and I can type some more out if they're helping people. Would that be a good idea? I don't want to keep talking about past encounters if it's not helping anyone, so please leave some sort of response if you do read this, thank you!
Cheers, Nilo.

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

Quick question, I have plenty of stories such as these and I can type some more out if they're helping people. Would that be a good idea? I don't want to keep talking about past encounters if it's not helping anyone, so please leave some sort of response if you do read this, thank you!
Cheers, Nilo.

No, hearing about how you are the resident hard man is not helping, neither is your suggestion of using violence to solve problems.

Violence isn't the solution, it's the path to getting your head kicked in, or being stabbed to death. If someone confronts you, you leave the area. You don't stick around to talk 🤬 to them, or to 'defend your honour', because one day you'll do it to the wrong person and will suffer the consequences.

You live in London, so wise up before you get yourself into deep 🤬 with some horrible human being.

 

[Furinkazen]

No, hearing about how you are the resident hard man is not helping, neither is your suggestion of using violence to solve problems.

Violence isn't the solution, it's the path to getting your head kicked in, or being stabbed to death. If someone confronts you, you leave the area. You don't stick around to talk 🤬 to them, or to 'defend your honour', because one day you'll do it to the wrong person and will suffer the consequences.

You live in London, so wise up before you get yourself into deep :****: with some horrible human being.

Gotta say, flight not fight has always been my primary method of things. And all 5ft 11 and 60kg of me can be pretty nimble at flight.

 

[Bodyguard]

No, hearing about how you are the resident hard man is not helping, neither is your suggestion of using violence to solve problems.

Violence isn't the solution, it's the path to getting your head kicked in, or being stabbed to death. If someone confronts you, you leave the area. You don't stick around to talk 🤬 to them, or to 'defend your honour', because one day you'll do it to the wrong person and will suffer the consequences.

You live in London, so wise up before you get yourself into deep :****: with some horrible human being.

Alright, I won't post anything like that again.

I won't stop standing up for myself though. You have your way of dealing with problems, I have mine. I personally can't stand running away from my problems and will not do that just to avoid a confrontation.

Also, this thread quickly came to the topic of bullies, so I decided to share my 2 cents on it and how my previous encounters played out, not be the "resident hard man". With all due respect, you don't know me and what I stand for, so I would advise you to not immediately assume I'm trying to show off or something of the kind. Get to know me and then make your decision, it's called not being judgemental. I'd rather this not be a big thing, especially since the thread starter stated on many occasions that this thread is supposed to be happy and show that Autistic people are normal and should not have bad reputations. I will not comment on this matter any more, I just want to say that you should really not attack someone like that, especially if that same person was trying to help.

Gotta say, flight not fight has always been my primary method of things. And all 5ft 11 and 60kg of me can be pretty nimble at flight.

I don't see why you don't stand up for yourself. I'm 6ft and somewhere between 70kg and 80kg, which is not too different to your build. Don't get in a fight if you don't want to, of course, but at least make sure that bullies know you're confident and not someone that can be pushed around! Make yourself known! Make yourself proud!

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

I personally can't stand running away from my problems and will not do that just to avoid a confrontation.

It's not running away, it's choosing between having the last word/getting a cheeky jab in, or potentially being stabbed to death. What do you value more, looking like the hard man, or your life?

With all due respect, you don't know me and what I stand for, so I would advise you to not immediately assume I'm trying to show off or something of the kind.

With all due respect, I'm just going by your style of writing. If you were simply trying to say "stick up for yourself" you would have done just that, not typed out a long-winded story about how you slayed the dragon.

As someone who is older than you and has been there and done that, I would advise against resorting to violence to solve confrontation. There is always someone bigger than you and a whole lot stupider that you, who is willing to take things a lot further than you are comfortable with.

For the record, I'm only 5'9", but over 200lbs, and have years of experience in martial arts (MT, BJJ, KM/CS). I could probably win the fight, but is it worth risking being stabbed or getting arrested for assault, when I could simply walk away and be done with it? I don't think so.

I just want to say that you should really not attack someone like that, especially if that same person was trying to help.

If you took that as an attack, you must have really soft skin. The advice that you gave isn't going to help anyone, so don't get too upset about being called on it.

 

[Furinkazen]

Ahh but Bodyguard, generally I do manage to get out these situations before they escalate .

 

[Bodyguard]

It's not running away, it's choosing between having the last word/getting a cheeky jab in, or potentially being stabbed to death. What do you value more, looking like the hard man, or your life?

I don't see it that way. In my opinion, people who say that are just too afraid to stand up for themselves. I'm not trying to insult you specifically, I'm just stating my mindset. Also, I'm not "getting a cheeky jab in", I'm making sure the guy knows that he should steer clear; this ensures that I have less people like him to deal with and that I enjoy my life more, don't you agree?
Some people at my school do think that I'm some sort of tough guy, so I can understand where you came from and I'm thinking that that's why I reacted so harshly. However, I wasn't trying to let GTP know that, I was simply trying to get my message across: "Stand up for yourself".

With all due respect, I'm just going by your style of writing. If you were simply trying to say "stick up for yourself" you would have done just that, not typed out a long-winded story about how you slayed the dragon.

As someone who is older than you and has been there and done that, I would advise against resorting to violence to solve confrontation. There is always someone bigger than you and a whole lot stupider that you, who is willing to take things a lot further than you are comfortable with.

I wasn't trying to talk myself up, I was typing out my personal stories because I genuinely thought that there would be other people in the same situation who don't know what to do. I wasn't completely sure though, hence my question at the end. I won't post things like that again, since there's at least one person who dislikes them. I saw this thread and came here to help, not make myself look tough. You don't even know what I look like, if I really wanted to make myself look tough, I could have uploaded a picture of me to GTP and posted it here saying "Look at me!". I just don't like how you turned my attempt at helping people into a self-centered attempt at showing off.

Also, I would much rather be dealing with a big, angry guy once than with lots of bullies, where my tactic is to run away. I can respect your approach to bullies and life in general, but it doesn't mean I will follow it. I have my own method of dealing with this stuff and it's been working perfectly for the past 2 or so years, so I don't see why I need to change.

Ahh but Bodyguard, generally I do manage to get out these situations before they escalate .

I don't doubt that one bit, but you're not exactly standing up for your name. You're getting called on to fight a :censored:head and your response is to run away? I can't tell you what to do; my opinion should mean nothing to you, since you've never met me and we don't often talk, but you can hear it out and see if you like it. I believe in honour and pride, and all that just shatters when you start running away from a challenger. Like I said, I can't force you to do anything, but I sure as hell wouldn't let some guy boss me around like he owns me.
My point is that you can run away and avoid the fight all you want, but what does that do to your self-esteem? What does it do to your morals? What does it do to your outlook on life? I hardly think the other guy could have beaten you up, less so seriously injure you, so why not teach him a lesson?

Marina, I hope you haven't taken anything written above as offensive, because it wasn't meant to be.
Cheers, Nilo.

 

[Furinkazen]

Honour and pride... We are really getting off original topic but there is no dishonor in fleeing away in case of a crisis. We are not in a samurai~esque period where running away is considered an offense punishable by disembowelment. Sometimes force is not the answer. Words don't break bones, physically injure people. I for one would never want to do that.

 

[Bodyguard]

Honour and pride... We are really getting off original topic but there is no dishonor in fleeing away in case of a crisis. We are not in a samurai~esque period where running away is considered an offense punishable by disembowelment. Sometimes force is not the answer. Words don't break bones, physically injure people. I for one would never want to do that.

And neither would I, which is why I aim to teach them a lesson, instead of physically attack them.

But you're right, we are getting off topic here, so let's just end this whole discussion. I think one thing, that doesn't mean that you must all agree with me, so let's just respect each other's own opinions and move on.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Guys, I rarely do get into confrontations.


There's a huge difference between being intimidating and commanding the respect of someone who wants to fight by showing your size, and something else to actually bother fighting.


I never did really get into a fight, ever, outside of school yard retaliations/scraps.

I've had my fair share of run-ins that could've escalated, but I've also had knives and guns drawn on me.


Bodyguard, for your sakes, smarten up with that. You can't fight a gun. Your fist does not actually travel faster than a bullet. All it takes is one single slip of the trigger, and your lights are permanently out.

Permanently. I respect you for standing up to the bullies, but if you're going to try to fight everyone who wrongs you or your friends, well, soon the whole of London will hate you... And it's not too long until someone actually shows up with three friends, a knife, and a gun, in order to get a series of cheap shots into your scrotum.

Difference is, I didn't even do anything wrong for that to happen to me. I just ended up in the wrong schoolyard with the wrong series of racially-motivated African Canadians... The type who feel that they're entitled to beating people up because of their skin colour, regardless of what you say.


If I had tried to fight back, the three would've made short work of me. I thought I could trust the girl who was there with me, but she took their side... I found out, later, she has her way with a large number of black men... And is now a 17 year old mom to a young half-black child.


Lesson: sometimes, it's not even worth it to fight back. Take a chip on your back, and drop it off at the nearest bank. You can go around pretending to be the toughest guy, and you probably can be the toughest guy, but sometimes people bring guns to a fist fight. It's not a good idea. If a fight looks to happen soon, de-escalate the situation as soon as possible. Talk slowly, soothingly. Tell the guy that what they're saying is right, etc. Tell them that you have to go, and then promptly leave.

That's the sort of advice that can save your life. Looking down the barrel of a loaded gun, no, it's not fun.

 

[Bodyguard]

Hmm...
Surprisingly, that had an effect on me. I'm usually quite a stubborn person, but I guess something you said... hit me (no pun intended ). Thanks for the advice, Andrew, I appreciate it. I can't promise I'll change myself overnight, or ever for that matter, but I will think twice next time I'm in that kind of situation.

BUT, back on topic. Was the gun pointed at you because you are Autistic? Or was it just a mugging or something of the kind?