The Book of Turismo

[CorvetteConquer]

Thou shall NOT curse thy Forza loving neighbor, for a lover of cars is a friend of OURS.

 

[DaxCobra]

Thou shall NOT curse thy Forza loving neighbor, for a lover of cars is a friend of OURS.

It's a bit like Catholics and Protestants I guess.

 

[HP]

Thou shall NOT curse thy Forza loving neighbor, for a lover of cars is a friend of OURS.

But thou art free to curse the player of the Xbox for he hast truly lost his way...

Thou shalt nurture the n00b but spareth not the rod when needeth...

Thou shalt smite trolls for they hath earned the Wrath of Kaz (also a great potential film name )

 

[Schwartz]

Thou shall NOT curse thy Forza loving neighbor, for a lover of cars is a friend of OURS.

Apex. He who playeth Forza beith not a sinner, unless he beith a Forza fanboy.

 

[ZohsixGT5]

Henceforth, pray all ye for the great coming of the Editors of Livery, and ye shall soon be rewarded with their holy blessings of wonders only chosen for the Forzimites.

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

Our Diver, which art in Asphalt,
Hallowed be thy V12.
Thy Turbo come.
Thy will be done in Sarthe,
As it is in Nürburg.
Give us this day our daily fuel.
And forgive us our tyre wear,
As we forgive them that trade paint against us.
And lead us not into blocking,
But deliver us from the Gravel.
For thine is the Piston,

The power, and the traction,

For ever and ever.

Apex.

👍

I love it! Shem, you must have connected to the almighty Kaz and the Car Gods, they giveth the vision of the Apex!

Thou shall NOT curse thy Forza loving neighbor, for a lover of cars is a friend of OURS.

Though, the almighty Kaz and Dan are the eyes of their religion, they cometh from the Car Gods, who picked the Lords of Turismo and Forza, to give the words of the Machines and their holy grounds in a unity of true car enthuiasts, lovers and brothers (and sisters) of the Machines, Pistions, Rotarays and Turbos in the Kingdom of Cars.

Praise thy brothers (and sisters) who are true car peoples, but curse the narrow minded fanboys, who can't open their eyes to the Kingdom of Cars. Curse the ricers, who think Modifying cars are just about stickers. Curse those who disrespect the Machines and the holy grounds of the famous races, cars and drivers. These people do not carry the vision, love and the access to the Kingdom of the Machines.

But thou art free to curse the player of the Xbox for he hast truly lost his way...

Thou shalt nurture the n00b but spareth not the rod when needeth...

Thou shalt smite trolls for they hath earned the Wrath of Kaz (also a great potential film name )

Or the Wrath of Turismo

 

[terminator363]

Thou shalt not be in thine 12th year of living and useth thine microphone.

👍 The best.

"eine scheißewagen von 100 jahre

LOL 👍

 

[terminator363]

Whoops double post.

 

[Grayfox]

This is more of a cult than a church

The church of Gran Turismo (False)
Cult of the Gran Turismos (True)

 

[brainfade]

LOL 👍

Is it something I said?

 

[Grayfox]

Is it something I said?

It is something you did.

1: You posted in german when the AUP says

You will post all messages in English.

2: A crap car from 100 years ago?, If you are talking about the VW Kuebelwagen and the VW Schwimmwagen they are not from the 1910's.
They are from the 1940's.
3. I have a Fluro pink Insight that sounds beastly I use it to troll and when and if I win I can troll.

 

[noisiaturismo]

His comment was clearly English, with just a German quote. The cars are from the previous century, a century is 100 years.

By the way, you are also not talking proper English, it's Kubelwagen, not Kuebelwagen.

 

[leepangfu]

Thou shall not scare the monkey out of the tree by sounding your horn.

Thou shall not enter Trial Mountain Lake because that is where the waterdemon lives.

Thou shall not attempt to rescue the Autumn Ring Three for they are condemned to live in the watchtower until the end of time after disgracing Lord Kaz.

Thou shall enter the Holy Top Gear Test Track in the according white suit as that is the realm of the great apostle Stig.

 

[Schwartz]

Thou shalt not take the AUP too literaly.

 

[ZohsixGT5]

Thou shalt consult the Autumn Ring Three before granted permission to use the Racing Tyres of Delicate Softness. Only ye worthy among you will be chosen. The remainder will be cast down into the realm of the Noobethites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

 

[FactoryFresh]

Thou shall not park one's Tank Car on a narrow piece of the holy Nurburgring

 

[HP]

Thou shalt consult the Autumn Ring Three before granted permission to use the Racing Tyres of Delicate Softness. Only ye worthy among you will be chosen. The remainder will be cast down into the realm of the Noobethites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I Lol'd hard on the train at noobethites!!

Thou shalt, now and evermore, seek the prodigal track known as Complex String & bringeth him back to the fold.

Thou shalt not commit Forzultery.

Thou shalt remember that casting out of the kingdom of GTP is indeed permanent & seeking readmission in false guises shalt be punished with great prejudice by they who guardeth The One, Jordan. The immortals they are, inner sanctum guards & most deadly cyber-ninjas: The Super Mods... Seek not their ire for they are indeed wroth & shalt cast thee out oh spineless banished ones, BEGONE!!!

 

[brainfade]

His comment was clearly English, with just a German quote. The cars are from the previous century, a century is 100 years.

By the way, you are also not talking proper English, it's Kubelwagen, not Kuebelwagen.

Ignore him, he's just trolling my posts as usual.

It is something you did.

1: You posted in german when the AUP says
2: A crap car from 100 years ago?, If you are talking about the VW Kuebelwagen and the VW Schwimmwagen they are not from the 1910's.
They are from the 1940's.
3. I have a Fluro pink Insight that sounds beastly I use it to troll and when and if I win I can troll.

1: It's in English, and it doesn't say if 100% of a post in quest has to be in English and I believe 1 post in 567 is excusable... also it's worth noting that due to the popularity of BMW, Porsche, Audi and Mercedes, there are quite a few German one liners posted on the forum, unless you're going to do a David Boon and suggest that the use of all languages foreign in any way, shape or form should be abolished?

2: It says OF 100 YEARS, the phrase is used to say that you will create a car bad that it is the worst seen in 100 years or for the next 100 years. You'll have to think laterally rather than linear to get that one.

3: I meant a car that's ugly, not a troll car.

Got anything else that you want to deliberately mis-quote to show you're displeasure at someone displaying an Indian flag on the left column showing up in the forum?

 

[HP]

Ignore him, he's just trolling my posts as usual.

I draw thine attention to the book of Heathenpride, chapter 666HP verse 69:

"Thou shalt smite trolls for they hath earned the Wrath of Kaz"

Apex

 

[brainfade]

I draw thine attention to the book of Heathenpride, chapter 666HP verse 69:

"Thou shalt smite trolls for they hath earned the Wrath of Kaz"

Apex

LOL! I love how everyone is replacing "Ahmen" with "Apex" LOL!

He violated one of the commandments :

"Thou shalt not quote the AUP as means of extending thy false-manhood. Thus over compensating for thy 'short comings' Laugheth. Out. Loudeth.

Apex "​

 

[HP]

unless you're going to do a David Boon

Great cricketer but perhaps you meant Daniel Boone?

*never thought I'd see Boonie mentioned in GTP, it's a good day!!!

PS: The heavy drinkers amongst us will appreciate the legend of David Boon: He once drank 54 cans of beer on a flight to London... now that my friends is an epic achievement

Back on topic:

Thou shalt drinketh and driveth whenst playing GT5 but thou must abstain from same in real lifeth lest thou get locked uppeth and thine wheels confiscatedeth

 

[Jahgee]

Thou shalt respect all cars when one has full amount of thine money, from thine Subaru 360's and Citroen 2CV's with 300,000 of thine driving distances up to thine Race Cars built for Le Mans & the holy 0/0/0 Bugatti's

 

[brainfade]

Thou shalt drinketh and driveth whenst playing GT5 but thou must abstain from same in real lifeth lest thou get locked uppeth and thine wheels confiscatedeth

Not sure about that one, a drunk guy beat several GTP members on Fuji Speedway in a shuffle race!

"Thou shalt smite ye evil Sebastroll Vettel in his X2010 and fend of the fair land from the vile Rainbow-Dashing Bronies using thy all mighty Tank Car by the power invested in ye by the almighty Host.

Apex "​

 

[HP]

Not sure about that one, a drunk guy beat several GTP members on Fuji Speedway in a shuffle race!

Sounds like the GTP guys aren't drinking enough

hic!

"Thou shalt smite ye evil Sebastroll Vettel in his X2010 and fend of the fair land from the vile Rainbow-Dashing Bronies using thy all mighty Tank Car by the power invested in ye by the almighty Host.

Apex "​

And yea, thine holiest of wepons didst gleameth in the sunlight and tremble in terror didst yonder Sebastrolls as thine wheeled scimitar didst handbrakey-eth and rumbleth onward to victory!

And the Archangel Leno was wroth, smiteth did he the Sebastrolls and earneth he did the blessings of the Holy Trinity: Kaz, His Son; Jordan and Sumerator, the many headed Super Moderator who sitteth at the right hand of Jordan...

Apex

 

[Jahgee]

And with thyne dying breath, the warrior known around the past generations as Nike One 2022 said this "Why has thou forsaken me for thyne warrior known as the Red Bull?"

 

[HP]

And with thyne dying breath, the warrior known around the past generations as Nike One 2022 said this "Why has thou forsaken me for thyne warrior known as the Red Bull?"

And Kaz said: Because thou didst enslave many Indonesian children for thine pit crew... thou art a disgrace and thou were banished to wander aimlessly the vast plains of the n00bethites ere thine passing... I regret this not

 

[W3H5]

"Thou shalt smite ye evil Sebastroll Vettel in his X2010 and fend of the fair land from the vile Rainbow-Dashing Bronies using thy all mighty Tank Car by the power invested in ye by the almighty Host.

Apex "​

The Sermon on the Mount Eiger NordWand


​

.......Blessed are the Red Bulls: for they shall inherit the earth.

Shem.
Mine's 400.​

Our ideas evidently conflict. Therefore I shall take my blessing from the Holy Driver and seek to publish a New Testament in the name of all thing fair and just, lest He should spite us for our vengeance.

"And it was said, he who is divine in spirit and pure of carbon fibre shall seek to encompass all forms of auto so that we may be said to be merciful."
​

Shem
0-60, Book of Chicane ​

Apex.

 

[Grayfox]

Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers
grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the
fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own
image as promised by the
sacred words, and spoke
of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was
naught but a follower.

This is another commandment I follow.

 

[Schwartz]

Our ideas evidently conflict. Therefore I shall take my blessing from the Holy Driver and seek to publish a New Testament in the name of all thing fair and just, lest He should spite us for our vengeance.


"And it was said, he who is divine in spirit and pure of carbon fibre shall seek to encompass all forms of auto so that we may be said to be merciful."



Shem
0-60, Book of Chicane

Apex.

Book of Chicane lol

 

[IceMan PJN]

1 “I am the Yamauchi your God, who brought you out of the land of Forza, out of the house of Turn 10. You shall have no other gods before Me."

I like the part where we went all Palin/Bachmann by getting our history all wrong by suggesting that Gran Turismo pulled players away from Forza Motorsport even though GT preceded FM and it's FM that's been pulling players away from GT. GT would equate more to the older pagan gods and FM would be the newly-introduced Hebrew God to which the pagans were converting.