The Simpsons Quotes

[Cap'n Jack]

Herb(Homers long lost brother):So homer hows your car coming along?
Homer:There putting in an on board something arather and rack and peanut steering.

 

[oscarfulz]

i need to add something to that episode, in the end when the car is revealed it was really funny how Homer pushed the Horn of the car and it did that one tune, i cant really type it out, but it went something like tu, tu tu ne nu ne ta tu!.....

haha i am horrible at this, someone please enlighten me

 

[oscarfulz]

Originally posted by miniMADness
Groundskeeper Willie: Lunchlady Doris, do you have any Grease?
Doris:Yes, Yes we do
Groundskeeper Willie: Well GREASE ME UP!!!! *rips his shirt off*

i love that scene

Originally posted by nightkids4ever
when homer fell down the cliff and when they pick him up he started to hit the walls

is that the one where he skateboards? then as they pick him up they put him in an ambulance and the ambulance crashes and homer falls back out.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

this is from the episode the simpson's went to Japan

Homer: I sure hope they don't have an ice cream round...AHHHH(Gets struck by lightning)

 

[Bollocks#999]

Originally posted by radicool02
Homer on the phone:...I told you my baby beat me up...

Homer: Oh its not the worst exuse ive ever had *hangs up phone* wise guy

 

[Bollocks#999]

Bart and Lisa: Can you take us to Mount Splashmore?
Homer: No
Bart and Lisa: Can you take us to Mount Splashmore?
Homer: No
Bart and Lisa: Can you take us to Mount Splashmore?
Homer: No
Homer: If I take you too Mount Splashmore will you 2 stop bugging me?
Bart: Yeah
Lisa: Of course
Bart and Lisa: Well, will you take us too Mount Splashmore?
Homer: Yes
Bart and Lisa: Thanks Dad

 

[miniMADness]

Disco Stu: Did you know that Disco record sales were up 400% when the year ended in 1976? If these trends continue...ay!!!
Homer: er...your fish are dead
Disco Stu: I know...I cant get them outta there

 

[millencolin]

dr nick: hey, did you go to hollywood upstairs medical school as well?

 

[milefile]

Homer: Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville, population: You"

 

[Firebird]

Willy teaching French:

"Bon-JOURRRRR, ya cheese eating surrender monkeys!"

 

[milefile]

Otto (to Patty): Have you always been a chick? I mean, I... I... you know... don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded.

 

[miniMADness]

 

[Zrow]

Probably has been said.

"I'm Troy McClure, and now what you've all been waiting for: HARDCORE NUDITY!"

 

[milefile]

Grampa: I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.

 

[tabs]

Homer: Mmmm, forbidden donut *eats donut*

 

[Zrow]

Originally posted by milefile
Grampa: I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.

LOL, he actually said that? I hadn't heard it, funny!

 

[180sx_FreaK]

im not sure how it goes but it was something like

Homer: Hmmmm the internet is on computers now

 

[Bollocks#999]

Originally posted by milefile
Otto (to Patty): Have you always been a chick? I mean, I... I... you know... don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded.

Frome the same episode:

Patt: oh look, its wee willy washout
Otto: I wanna take the test again
Patty: why?
Otto: so I can staple it to homer simpsons big fat head

 

[NitrousOxide308]

(homer-in simpsons road rage) picks up coin, Ahh i wanted a peanut

 

[kirkis9]

lionnel hutz: (to milhouse, fallout boy) Lionnel hutz new new agent,unauthorized biographer,lawyer, and drug~dealer..uh...keeper awayer!

 

[Solid Lifters]

Bart "Mom, we can't get through the door if you're blocking us."

Homer "Just knock'er down, boy."

Oh, and the line is, "Bonjuuuurno, ya brie cheese eating surrender monkeys!"

 

[millencolin]

selma: come along jub-jub. mummy will microwave you some nice roaches

 

[milefile]

Skinner: Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N.? Or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

 

[oscarfulz]

the episode where homer and the family go skiing, and homer is going down the hill after a rendevous with Ned Flanders,

homer going down as he thinks about ned flanders

Ned: "it somehow feels like im wearing nothing at all"

*echos* nothing at alll, nothing at all....

 

[miniMADness]

Originally posted by oscarfulz
the episode where homer and the family go skiing, and homer is going down the hill after a rendevous with Ned Flanders,

homer going down as he thinks about ned flanders

Ned: "it somehow feels like im wearing nothing at all"

*echos* nothing at alll, nothing at all....

homer: Damn sexy flanders!


And in the Mindy episode...

Homer is lying in the fallen telephone box...Then Lionel Hutz walks up...

Lionel: Hey! Get outta my office!


Or...

Guy with big hand: Im tired of these jokes about my huge hand! The such event happened in 1972...

 

[kirkis9]

what was the whole skit with "senor doorbell man", its vaguely coming back.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: Look, there's the rocket, just like the dead clown promised
Krusty: Im not dead
Homer: I can still hear his voice on the wind

 

[millencolin]

milhouse: 25 years old. your not 25 years old, this is a fake.
bart: yes milhouse, it is a fake. a fake ID
milhouse: A FAKE ID CCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

 

[Bollocks#999]

Damn, Millhouse is stupid

 

[regulate]

bart: pfft, everyone knows the best bands are affiliated with satan.