GTP - Your WORST 5 Films of All Time

[Zardoz]

You'd have to be retarded to read reviews before watching a movie.

Well, then I must have Down's Syndrome because I wouldn't even think about blowing nine bucks, three hours, and a drive if I wasn't confident that I was going to see a decent flick. I always try to read at least three reviews.

Most movies stink. Going in blind, your odds are very bad.

BTW, I only have one candidate for the Worst Movies list: "Armegeddon". That thing is so thoroughly vile it overshadows every other bad movie I've ever seen, and crowds all the other bombs out of my consciousness.

 

[Delphic Reason]

Well, then I must have Down's Syndrome because I wouldn't even think about blowing nine bucks, three hours, and a drive if I wasn't confident that I was going to see a decent flick. I always try to read at least three reviews.

Most movies stink. Going in blind, your odds are very bad.

I fully agree... I try and read 3 to 5 reviews before plopping down my 9 bucks...

BTW, I only have one candidate for the Worst Movies list: "Armegeddon". That thing is so thoroughly vile it overshadows every other bad movie I've ever seen, and crowds all the other bombs out of my consciousness.

I can't say I disagree too much with that... I wouldn't call it the worst movie ever... However, it's definitely way up there... Nothing but cheasy one liners, giant plot holes, bad acting, and general Hollywood structure... I still can't believe how many people flocked to the theaters to go see it... Even worse is how many people bought it on DVD...

 

[a6m5]

I just saw "Stealth"...... it was so bad and far fetched in every way.... I think I'm going to need a therapy.

 

[Delphic Reason]

I just saw "Stealth"...... it was so bad and far fetched in every way.... I think I'm going to need a therapy.

That was pretty obvious from the trailer...

 

[a6m5]

That was pretty obvious from the trailer...

Trust me, you have no idea how bad this movie is. Just like my music, I love everything when it comes to movies, and that includes the Hollywood movies that you guys despise so much. "Stealth" was so bad that we spent most of the time making fun of it. I almost never do that during a movie.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

One new years eve there was a movie on TV called something like "And 2 came back", It was sooo bad.

 

[Delphic Reason]

Trust me, you have no idea how bad this movie is. Just like my music, I love everything when it comes to movies, and that includes the Hollywood movies that you guys despise so much. "Stealth" was so bad that we spent most of the time making fun of it. I almost never do that during a movie.

If it's that bad, I might just have to rent it... I could always use a good laugh at Hollywood's expense...

 

[a6m5]

If it's that bad, I might just have to rent it... I could always use a good laugh at Hollywood's expense...

I hope you are joking. I don't think I'm going to be able to rent those questionable Hollywood movies for while.

 

[TheCracker]

Man, I'm the opposite. I hardly ever decide whether to see a movie or not based on what a worthless critic has said about it. This is because movies are 100% subjective, and you can't let someone else judge them for you.

I rather get caught by surprise, sometimes the surprise is really good, another time it's like a turd in a box.

Which is exactly why i like to read a few reviews first. I'd never watch/not watch a film after reading one review - that would be stupid. Reading 2 or 3 reviews - by reviewers who you've 'agreed with' in the past, will give you a pretty good idea of what toexpect. This way i only have to sit through good or average films and don't have to waste 2 hours of my life on Keira Knightly films. Its not rocket science.

You should know that you'll never be able to avoid this if you plan to have a long-term relationship. Get used to them.

I'm married thanks

Thankfully my 'chick' also likes good films, if she ever feels the need to watch a particular chick flick then she'll go with her mates.

 

[VIPFREAK]

Trust me, you have no idea how bad this movie is. Just like my music, I love everything when it comes to movies, and that includes the Hollywood movies that you guys despise so much. "Stealth" was so bad that we spent most of the time making fun of it. I almost never do that during a movie.

I didn't see it but I thought a Broken Arrow remake only the bad guy was a computer instead of John Travolta. Not to mention it had Jessica Biel that would never pull off that role (nor could Jamie Foxx for that matter) so it was destined to fail even before it started.

 

[Event]

Paycheck
Napoleon Dynamite
Armaggedon
Star Wars: Attack of the clones
The Matrix: Revolutions

I've never seen Event Horizon...

Wow, I can't believe I had Napoleon Dynamite on there... I watched it a few more times and now I like it!

I saw Event Horizon finally, wasn't THAT bad, a little slow...

But heres my new list:

1. The Jerk (This movie makes me hate Steve Martin...)
2. King Arthur (The only movie I've ever walked out of a theater for... then I went to see Anchorman, what a good choice!)
3. Paycheck
4. Armageddon
5. Syriana (SO boring!!)

 

[Super Greek]

5.the grudge
4.what a girls wants dont ask
3.mortal combat total anihlation
2.the producers
1.master of disguise

 

[Sprite]

"The last samurai" has to be one of the worst films in history along with "U571" (if your british you should know why for both films). But there are loads of movies I cant stand to watch like "Black Hawk Down", what an over hyped pile of crap, that lasts too long and is just dull from start to finish also so is "Gladiator" 1. I hate Russell Crowe 2. the historical facts are all wrong.

 

[markj_87]

I thought Gladiator didn't do too badly on the historical facts front. Commodus was a wacky emperor, and a poor one too. He enjoyed watching (and even fighting in) gladiator events, and he was killed by a gladiator (strangled in the bath, but hey). It wasn't such a bad depiction of Marcus Aurelius either.

There probably were quite a few inconsistencies but at the end of the day it's purely entertainment and I enjoyed it. 👍

 

[Pupik]

You should know that you'll never be able to avoid this if you plan to have a long-term relationship. Get used to them.

Thankfully my 'chick' also likes good films, if she ever feels the need to watch a particular chick flick then she'll go with her mates.

I have to see one a year, but that's about it. Usually, we wait for it to appear on DVD. Then, it's not so bad, because you're in your own home.

But like TheCracker, I'm not forced to see every movie that comes down the pipeline. We go out to see maybe 2-3 movies a year, rent/borrow the rest. She prefers the action or comedy flick to the drama, although she likes the horror genre much more than I do.

 

[TheCracker]

Correct historical facts can make or brake a documentory - a mostly fictional film is probably the better for stretching the truth a little. In fact i can't think of any film that is historically totally accurate?

 

[Touring Mars]

In no particular order:-

Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions - What can I say? I had free tickets to 'Revolutions' and still nearly left early. If it hadn't been for the fact that I still had some popcorn left, I would have gladly gone to the pub a half hour before this tripe finished.

Species 2 - arriving a few hours early for a meeting and waiting with nothing better to do, I saught the refuge of the cinema and elected to watch this pretty much at random. I thought at the very least the lead character would be a hot woman like in the first one, but it turned out that Species 2 was a bloody bloke... and it was a crap film too.

Jaws: The Revenge - now that was one smart shark. Not only was it capable of holding a grudge and planning revenge, it could also locate and identify the family AND swim half way around the world to get them... with some of the most outrageously bad production and funniest goofs, this has to be seen to be believed. I actually really like this film because it's so bad.

Prospero's Books - Being a fan of Peter Greenaway, I was very disappointed with this film. Totally incomprehensible from start to finish, and arse-numbingly boring, this film is guaranteed to frustrate you. It looks beautiful, and Michael Nyman's score is superb (as usual), but not even these things can redeem this film... I believe it was Sir John's life-long ambition to 'play Prospero', and this film was his chance. Sir John Gielgud was indeed a fine actor, but in this film, he just looked like a silly old tart prancing about in a series of increasingly disturbing dresses. (Maybe if I had read 'The Tempest', I might have appreciated this film a bit more??)

Battlefield Earth - When I saw this film in the cinema, I was glued to my seat.... which is a shame, because otherwise I would have left...

 

[555]

Wow, its amazing how many films mentioned on here, i like.
I really liked Stealth!! The matrix sequels, species 2, battlefield earth. And to whoever said Event Horizon. WAH!

A film has to be really really bad for me not to like it, as i can sit through most, but here is mine. (not a top 5, just films i found paticularly bad)

Spiderman - i just dont see the attraction, give me Daredevil over this
Anchorman - What the hell is funny in this film?? NOTHING!
Gladiator - over-rated, sooo boring
Bridget Jones 2 - the 2nd film i've ever given up on
Alone in the Dark - just horrendous
Enigma - the 1st film i gave up on
Syriana - Im glad someone else said this. It was just so boring

And without a doubt the worst film i've ever seen is:
The Postman - this is easily the most boring thing i have ever seen!!

 

[tabs]

Spiderman - i just dont see the attraction, give me Daredevil over this

Seriously? I mean, I can understand if you don't like Spiderman, but Daredevil?? That movie sucked on an entirely new level.

 

[3-Wheel Drive]

1. Manos: the Hands of Fate - This movie was only ever even made because a fertilizer salesman was bet $100 dollars that "he couldn't make a movie". No plot, whatsoever.
2. Napolean Dynamite - THE MOST overrated film of all time. No plot, no acting, no good! "But it isn't supposed to be about anything! It's just about this guy's life!" some say. I'd rather rather watch my lawn grow. And then the fad set in. Every time a see a "Vote For Pedro" shirt, or hear this movie quoted, I swear my blood pressure increases.
3. Death Journey - Horrible 1970s B movie. Horrible, shaky camera work and lots of drawn out, unnecessary scenes. One scene involves a fat guy unwrapping and eating candy bars for an entire 2 minutes. I'm not exagerating the length. That's 120 seconds of fat guy-candy bar action. The plot had potential, but was executed in the worst possible way. I stopped watching halfway through.
4. The Master of Disguise - I have nothing to say about this movie other than the fact it lacks any redeeming values, good or otherwise.
5. Hollow Man - Apparantly invisibilty makes one invulnerable to most lethal attacks. It also makes this movie invulnerable to good plot.

Dishonorable Mentions:
Any Sci-Fi Pictures original movie
Any movie Steven Seagal has ever starred in

 

[Gabkicks]

napoleon dynamite is the type of movie that only the younger more openminded people can enjoy

 

[Casio]

Not in order. But here we go...

• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

I hate this movie. But only is it inferior in every way to 'Last Crusade' and 'Raiders', but it also has that stupid kid in it.

Everytime I watch it I just want to punch his stupid face into the ground.

• Killer Tomatoes Eat France

What a ridiculous movie. The Poster says it all...

I've attempted to watch it. Twice. Both time I was left bringing up the contents of my stomach. It was much more fun, and much less painless then watching this tripe.

• Cube 2: Hypercube

Cube was amazing. One of the greatest and possibly underated Sci-Fi's of all time, it just left me hanging for more. I saw this...

I was still left hanging. It's just stupid. Where Cube was like a beautiful minimalist painting. Cube 2 was one of those Miro surrealist pieces of junk, except it was drawn by toddler. And a hypercube! A 4 dimensional cube! Wow! I bet it took all of 10 seconds to think of that, it should of taken 2 seconds for someone to reply 'That's dumb'. But no...

• Flight of the Phoenix

The original is fantastic. Again a very underated movie. Throws away everything the original did, lights it on fire, then pisses on it. Dennis Quaid should not be allowed to act in anything. They manage to dig their plane completely out of sand at least 7 times in this movie. This quote on imdb says it best

After the crash, the crew poke a hole in the top of the plane to let in some air because the plane is totally covered by sand. Yet during the burial in the next scene the plane is mostly uncovered.

With exception of the plane crash at the start. There is not one good thing in this movie worth watching. Jimmy Stewart would be rolling in his grave (If he's dead, I'm not sure).

• Any Dennis Quaid movie.

I hate Dennis Quaid. Everything is has been in is complete and utter ****. It wouldn't be so bad if he could act. But he can't. He's always got that "I just **** my pants" look on his face the whole time.

Can you name one good movie that Dennis Quaid has played a major role in. I'll save you the time by answering for you. The answer is none. And he was in Jaws 3-D, which would have had been on the list if Dennis Quaid didn't piss me off so much.

I hate Dennis Quaid.

 

[TheCracker]

Cube was amazing. One of the greatest and possibly underated Sci-Fi's of all time, it just left me hanging for more.

Are you serious? - The Cube was the biggest pile of cr*p i've ever had the misfortune of watching - and i've watched Pearl Harbour!

It's even poor for a low budget film.

 

[Solid Lifters]

• Any Dennis Quaid movie.

I hate Dennis Quaid. Everything is has been in is complete and utter ****. It wouldn't be so bad if he could act. But he can't. He's always got that "I just **** my pants" look on his face the whole time.

Can you name one good movie that Dennis Quaid has played a major role in. I'll save you the time by answering for you. The answer is none. And he was in Jaws 3-D, which would have had been on the list if Dennis Quaid didn't piss me off so much.

I hate Dennis Quaid.

Even The Right Stuff?
The Rookie?
The Big Easy?
Innerspace?
Great Balls of Fire?

Dude... somebody's signature was correct about you...

 

[Anderton Prime]

Alone In The Dark
3000 Miles To Graceland
Battlefield Earth
The Fog remake
House of 1000 Corpses / The Devil's Rejects (each is as crappy as the other)

 

[DQuaN]

Feel free to keep on ragging on at bad films, but the official nominations are now...


CLOSED

A poll will be appearing in due course.

Just reading back through this thread. Was a poll ever created?

 

[Famine]

Can you name one good movie that Dennis Quaid has played a major role in. I'll save you the time by answering for you. The answer is none.

Even The Right Stuff?
The Rookie?
The Big Easy?
Innerspace?
Great Balls of Fire?

Dude... somebody's signature was correct about you...

How about Wilder Napalm? Loved that film.

DQuaN - Yes.

 

[Solid Lifters]

How about Wilder Napalm? Loved that film.

DQuaN - Yes.

I haven't seen that one yet.

I'll take your word for it, and will look into it.

 

[Famine]

Make sure you turn your brain off first - it involves two pyrokinetic brothers, one of whom becomes a fireman...

 

[markj_87]

http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

This is a list of the top 100 worst films of all time, at least according to users of The Internet Movie Database. Looks like 'Karate Cop' takes the honour with an average rating of...1.5 out 10! Fortunately I haven't seen it!