The Book of Turismo

[W3H5]

May the curb be with you?

Pfff....what do you liken us to? Jedi?!

If anything, the Book of Psarthe tells us that:

And upon finishing His verse, the prophet Kaz exclaimed to them "May Bob be with you always. In the name of the Ford, the Jag, and the Holy Ferrari" and did make the sign of A (Apex).

And they did reply "And also with you."

Apex

 

[Matty]

Pfff....what do you liken us to? Jedi?!

If anything, the Book of Psarthe tells us that:

No i think I mentioned a few posts ago as to where I got that from.

In Ireland at mass, the priest says 'may the lord be with you.' and the people reply 'and also with you'. I had no intention of any star wars like quote when I thought this up.

And I also like it because the curb may under certain weather conditions be against you. so saying this shows you care for your fellow human may he be catholic, turimist of a forzist.


Extract from 'The Gospel According To Matthew' (Being me)
Chapter 4:
1. Then Kaz was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness of Sarthe to be tempted by the Devil.
2. And when he had fasted for forty laps of day and night, he was hungry.
3. Now when the tempter came to Him he said, "If you are the Son of Polyphonus Digitus command that these standerd rims become changeable."
4: But He answered and said, "It is written 'Man shall not live by rims alone, but by every part that proceeds the word of Polyphonus Digitus.' "
5. Then the devil took him to the holy city of Nurbürg and set him on the pinnacle of Carousel,
6. And said to him, "If you are the Son of Polyphonus Digitus, speed through this corner at a unimaginable speed with no fear of crashing. For it is written 'He shall give His angels charge over him' And, 'In their hands they shall bear you up should you spin your tyre off the curb.' "
7. Kaz said to him, "It is written again, 'You shall not tempt the laws of Physics as you will lose.' "
8. Again the devil took him up on Eiger, and showed him all the territories of Motorsports.
9. And said to him, "I will grant You licensing rights to all of these if You will fall down and worship me."
10. Then Kaz said to him, "Away with you, Satin! For it is written, 'You shall only worship the Lord Polyphonus Digitus, and Him only shall you serve.' "

Apex.

 

[VspecZR1GT2RS89]

This isn't Star Wars.

Nope, it's Car Wars!!!!

 

[Schwartz]

No i think I mentioned a few posts ago as to where I got that from.

In Ireland at mass, the priest says 'may the lord be with you.' and the people reply 'and also with you'. I had no intention of any star wars like quote when I thought this up.

And I also like it because the curb may under certain weather conditions be against you. so saying this shows you care for your fellow human may he be catholic, turimist of a forzist.

Extract from 'The Gospel According To Matthew' (Being me)
Chapter 4:
1. Then Kaz was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness of Sarthe to be tempted by the Devil.
2. And when he had fasted for forty laps of day and night, he was hungry.
3. Now when the tempter came to Him he said, "If you are the Son of Polyphonus Digitalus command that these standerd rims become changeable."
4: But He answered and said, "It is written 'Man shall not live by rims alone, but by every part that proceeds the word of Polyphonus Digitalus.' "
5. Then the devil took him to the holy city of Nurbürg and set him on the pinnacle of Carousel,
6. And said to him, "If you are the Son of Polyphonus Digitalus, speed through this corner at a unimaginable speed with no fear of crashing. For it is written 'He shall give His angels charge over him' And, 'In their hands they shall bear you up should you spin your tyre off the curb.' "
7. Kaz said to him, "It is written again, 'You shall not tempt the laws of Physics as you will lose.' "
8. Again the devil took him up on Eiger, and showed him all the territories of Motorsports.
9. And said to him, "I will grant You licensing rights to all of these if You will fall down and worship me."
10. Then Kaz said to him, "Away with you, Satin! For it is written, 'You shall only worship the Lord Polyphonus Digitalus, and Him only shall you serve.' "

Apex.

matty, don't think I am stupid. You are just doing this because you want to be a piston. While this is an awesome and funny contribution to the thread, it really doesn't help Turismism progress. You can't just be the same as shem (just posting long extracts from the Bible) because then everything gets repetitive and boring. If you really want to get noticed you should come up with an idea of your own, even if its not posting biblical sounding things. Enough helping you out, its your turn now. Be creative, and be sure to add in some humor as well!

Edit: By the way its "Digitus" not "Digitalus"

 

[HP]

You can't just be the same as shem

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Shem

 

[Matty]

matty, don't think I am stupid. You are just doing this because you want to be a piston. While this is an awesome and funny contribution to the thread, it really doesn't help Turismism progress. You can't just be the same as shem (just posting long extracts from the Bible) because then everything gets repetitive and boring. If you really want to get noticed you should come up with an idea of your own, even if its not posting biblical sounding things. Enough helping you out, its your turn now. Be creative, and be sure to add in some humor as well!

Edit: By the way its "Digitus" not "Digitalus"

Well i dont think your stupid and yes i am but thats not the point. I wasn't trying to be like shem, I went back a few pages and there was other people doing it to and I said sure why not. I thought when people seen this they'd laugh and it would put a smile on their face no matter how bad there day has been. That was all that was meant to do

Suppose I can try something else..

 

[W3H5]

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Shem

If thout shall, Shem's wife shall be enraged and as we know, the Green Hell hath no fury like a woman driving a GT40.


Apex

 

[Beeblebrox237]

I wish to join the followers of Yamauchi and the Book of Turismo. Pray tell, may I join?

 

[Schwartz]

I wish to join the followers of Yamauchi and the Book of Turismo. Pray tell, may I join?

Added to list.

 

[DaxCobra]

How come I am not on the list? I posted on one of the 1st pages..

 

[HP]

I, As leader of all the worlds free Heathens, request mine moniker be added to yonder list of Turismist nomenclatures!

Praise (über kudos) be to He who is Shem, Piston of Power & Preacher of PP.

Thou shalt strive & drive to be Shemlike in all thine doings & whilst ye may say 10 Hail Kaz's when ye've sinned ye shalt also face the great land of the Shemites (China) and ye shall get on thine knees and bow to Him for He is Piston & ye must acknowledge Him thus or thou art truly false & thou shalt be banished from the holy land of Nürburg

 

[Matty]

How come I am not on the list? I posted on one of the 1st pages..

Guessing your not an atheist any more then an I'm no longer agnostic

 

[Milldrum]

Ok..........

I bought a PS1 for GT1. (One of 11 games owned including GT2.)

I bought a PS2 for GT3. (one of 21 games owned including GT4.)

I bought a PS3 for GT5. (Only game I own.)

Can I pledge my devotion to Gran Turismo and my best buddy Kaz?

 

[Schwartz]

Ok..........

I bought a PS1 for GT1. (One of 11 games owned including GT2.)

I bought a PS2 for GT3. (one of 21 games owned including GT4.)

I bought a PS3 for GT5. (Only game I own.)

Can I pledge my devotion to Gran Turismo and my best buddy Kaz?

Yes. Anybody is allowed to join.

 

[Matty]

Just thought of something may it be useful or controversial we shall see.

As many religions have there own view of the afterlife I thought of one for the Turismist's.

When you die you go to life eternally in GT5 as a B-Spec racer.

This could probably be given more thought but I thought I'd say it and see what the general response is.

EDIT: Polyphonus Digitus did not create anything with no purpose, but Citroen 2CV's come close.

 

[W3H5]

Can I pledge my devotion to Gran Turismo and my best buddy Kaz?

Thou may show praise by login in every rise of the Sun to collecteth thy Holy bonus.

I, As leader of all the worlds free Heathens, request mine moniker be added to yonder list of Turismist nomenclatures!

Praise (über kudos) be to He who is Shem, Piston of Power & Preacher of PP.

Thou shalt strive & drive to be Shemlike in all thine doings & whilst ye may say 10 Hail Kaz's when ye've sinned ye shalt also face the great land of the Shemites (China) and ye shall get on thine knees and bow to Him for He is Piston & ye must acknowledge Him thus or thou art truly false & thou shalt be banished from the holy land of Nürburg

Oh, you are wise mighty Heathen of the GT, for the Paradise of Nurburg is pledged only to those race with Him in their hearts

Apex

 

[Matty]

And I quicky made a song/hymn,

Away on a racetrack, no car for a race,
The little Lord Kaz laid down his sweet head,
The curbs on the track look up where he walk,
The little Lord Kaz, Watches from far away.

Like the first verse of Away in the Manger if you want to know what it sounds like.
Anyway I'm done for tonight.

 

[W3H5]

He, almighty Lord of GT would be proud of your dedication to spreading the word of Turismo. 👍

 

[Matty]

He, almighty Lord of GT would be proud of your dedication to spreading the word of Turismo. 👍

If your on about me, I'm honoured.. 👍

 

[W3H5]

If your on about me, I'm honoured.. 👍

You hath dedicated your time to produce a hymn in His honour.

Apex to you, brother.

 

[Juiposa]

I have been an atheist all my life, but I pledge myself to this wonderful faith. Praise the Almighty Kaz and may he be merciful for my tardiness in my discovery of his faith.

 

[W3H5]

Welcome to the House of GT, fellow Turismite.

Apex

 

[Korza]

I hereby pledge my devotion to the beliefs of Turismity and shall spread the word of The Book of Turismo to all.

Apex

 

[Matty]

I have been an atheist all my life, but I pledge myself to this wonderful faith. Praise the Almighty Kaz and may he be merciful for my tardiness in my discovery of his faith.

I wasn't sure what I was really until I seen this thread.. Now I know what I am. 👍

 

[Michelin]

Holy ! I found my new religion, and found my new God ! I will forever pledge my devotion to the beliefs of Turismity and shall spread the word of The Book of Turismo to all.

Apex.

 

[Juiposa]

Welcome to the House of GT, fellow Turismite.

Apex

Thank you friend. Apex.

 

[W3H5]

For Kaz so loved the Nurburg Ring that he gave his one and only GTR, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Shem, Book of Chicane. 0 - 60​

Therefore go and make disciples of all racers, baptising them in the name of the Jag, and of the Ford and of the Holy Ferrari.

Shem, Book of Psarthe.

Apex​

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[DJones]

I can't be the only one wondering what's going to happen when Kaz sees this... Probably be the best/funniest moment of his life 👍

 

[W3H5]

Heart attack?

 

[DJones]

Heart attack?

WE DON'T SAY THAT!!! WE DON'T JOKE ABOUT THOSE TYPES OF THINGS!!!!
Oof. The piston almost made me swallow the metaphorical valve.

Edit: OT why does it still say "new member" under Shem's name? He's got 5000 posts...